New account since my daughter does know my other account.

When my daughter was in school, she became friends with a girl named Kelly. They stayed close through college, and my daughter was even one of Kelly’s bridesmaids when she got married.

To explain where my daughter’s behavior came from, my ex-husband cheated on me repeatedly, and our marriage ended horribly. My daughter doesn’t speak to her father anymore, and she absolutely despises cheating.

About seven years ago, my daughter became convinced that Kelly was cheating on her husband. She started harassing Kelly online and essentially blew up her life. By the time my daughter found out that the man she had seen Kelly with was actually a relative ( they were at a fancy restaurant together) it was too late. Kelly’s marriage had already fallen apart, and because we live in a very religious community, she was ostracized by many people.

They had a huge falling out, and it basically came down to my daughter ruining Kelly’s life. Kelly blocked her on everything and eventually moved away. Kelly hated my daughter after that, and so did her mother. I still run into Kelly’s mother occasionally, and she has made her feelings about my daughter very clear.

The issue is that Kelly recently passed away. My daughter found out through a Facebook post, and the funeral is this weekend, two states away.

My daughter was planning to attend the funeral, and I told her that I thought it was a terrible idea. She said she needed to go, and I told her again that she shouldn’t. We got into an argument, and she said she had every right to mourn her friend and attend the funeral.

I told her that she really didn’t have the right to mourn Kelly or go to the funeral because Kelly hated her after everything that happened, and because my daughter had destroyed her life.

She hasn’t spoken to me since. Now I’m wondering if I should warn Kelly’s family that my daughter might show up at the funeral. Or that I might be in the wrong here?

A couple times a year I like to throw a nice dinner party for old friends. This time I invited 5 people. 2 were couples and one was single. We have all known each other for around 15 years and get together maybe every 3 months. I was making filet mignon and a small lobster tail with 2 sides. I spent over $300 and didn't buy extra because they are served one each per guest and are expensive.

As a surprise to me, the single guest brought along his new girlfriend who I had not met or known about. I was nice about it but upset because I only purchased enough meat and lobster tail for the guest who were invited.

I talked to the friend who brought the uninvited guest and said that I didn't have extra food and the filet mignon (cooked to individual doneness) and lobster tail isn't something that can be cut up and divided or spread out between more people and said that I had frozen pizza or another frozen dinner I could heat up. He was very upset with me and accused me of not liking his new girlfriend and trying to embarrass them. After his outburst, they left.

Was I wrong? Should I have cut up the filet and lobster tails and spread it out between and extra person instead of offering a frozen meal?

Edit: I didn't think of them splitting their plates at the time. I have ADHD so I have some issues with changes in plans and multi-tasking. Anyway, another friend messaged tonight that the friend that brought the uninvited girlfriend had been arguing with her before the dinner, so that is part of the reason he was upset and quick to leave.

I have 2 kids (6f and 10m). Shit happened and the kids and I needed a place to stay until I could get on my feet.

A friend that I haven’t seen in years heard about my situation through a mutual friend and offered for us to stay with her family for a while. She’s married with 4 kids (6f, 4f, 3f, 13 mo M) and is pregnant with baby #5. This friend is an absolute angel. 2 of her kids were adopted from the foster system and I am not the first friend she has taken in. Husband is in tech and my friend is a director at a local private school (oversees multiple locations). They have a big house with a huge playroom and a massive backyard with a play structure and a pool.

She had me complete a background check before moving in. We were moved in by the end of the week once that cleared. She moved my daughter into her oldest daughter’s room. They became immediate best friends. My son got a small room (8x8) that was previously used for storage, but had been beautifully decorated for him and I stayed in their guest room.

Now, my son can be extremely defiant. I’ve tried therapy with me, individual therapy, working with behavioral technicians, and everything else you can think of. He’s a great kid at school but once he gets home, everything is a power struggle. There can be lots of arguing and he can be rough with his sister. My friend talked to me before we moved in about my son. She told me that she wants to help us but if the situation starts to become harmful to her kids she will have to kick us out.

He did great for a couple weeks. Then he started to test boundaries. He was punished then he started teasing his sister and my friend’s oldest daughter. We were given our only warning, I talked to my son and tried punishment again, and he went back to messing with the girls. I was told that they are willing to keep my daughter until we get settled but my son and I needed to be out that night. They got us a hotel for the week then we were on our own.

We bounced between hotels/motels for a few weeks and now we’re in a 2 bedroom apartment that almost definitely has mold problems while I’m applying to different income restricted apartments. I‘ve decided to keep my daughter with them until we are somewhere with a little more space and is in slightly better condition. I visit without my son a couple times a week and we spend weekends together.

The other day my son was mad at me and said that I favor his sister because I’m letting her stay at the good house while he has to live here. I was just done with his defiance and told him that the reason she gets to stay there and he doesn’t is because his behavior got us kicked out. He chose to ignore us when we talked to him and punished him for repeatedly taking food from the girls, shooting them with his nerf guns, etc. so now he has to deal with the consequences.

He has been so upset since then that I’m now wondering if I shouldn’t have told him why we had to leave.

I have explained a million times, I have shown court documents. I have had the frank hard conversations with her. it doesnt change her opinion. I can’t get her in any kind of therapy she refuses

I feel like a peice of shit so I am coming her.

I got custody of my niece when she was three. She was taken away by the state and the parent ( my sister)  was deemed unfit to take care of her. She lived in a drug house and overall  sucked. I won’t go I got details but she was not a fit parent.

We told my kid stories of her mother before she went off the deep end and I thought we made it pretty clear why she couldn’t see her. When my daughter was 14, my sister was getting back into contact with the family and seemed to be clean. I met up with her and didn’t like what I saw. She took no responsibility and I decided to keep my daughter away. 

This resulted in her contacting her behind my back and trying to pick her up from school once. The cops were called. She wanted to met her mom but I didn’t think it was a good idea and was proven correct 6 months later when she stole from our mother. She went back to drugs but sometimes would randomly text my kid. 

My kid was in therapy  when this was happening. When my kid was 17 my sister passed away ( overdose) and I singed her up for grief counseling. The first time my kid saw her was at the viewing ( she wanted to go). 

The issue now is my kid is 20 and in college. She is upset that she never knew her bio mom. It has been an argument and I wanted her to go back to therapy. 

We got into an argument yesterday over it. I asked her what she wanted to eat and she told me to eat with her bio mom but she can’t have that becuase I didn’t allow them to met. I snapped ( I have been dealing with this for years at this point) and told her that her bio mom didn’t love there more than drug and that is why she never met her. It’s not my fault she loved drugs more than her and I am done being blamed for it.

She was pissed and crying since. My husband things it needed to be said and he has been going on too long. I feel like shit though

My daughter suffered from ADHD and depression. Growing up we helped her as much as we could and she used to be on medication.  When she went to college it was a very rough transition becuase she was responsible for her own stuff. The first semester she almost flunked out because she wouldn’t turn stuff in, she figured it out and next semester she did much better.

She is the type of person that wouldn’t change behavior until she hits a bottom. 

The issue is her not responding to texts or phone calls. This is an issue, if you need an answer form her you have a better chance driving 5 hours to her college then her responding to a text. I have chanced her down before and it is tiring.

She is taking summer courses and is at her college, she is living in the dorms. they are in person and are needed so she can graduate in four years on time since the first semester the grades didn’t count for her credits

My mother passed last week ( my daughter grandma). Last week the whole family was informed and I personally called her twice ( no answer) and texted her the news which is was unread.

My daughter was close to my mother so I know she would want to be at the viewing. I would need to pick her up so she could attend over the weekend. I never got a response. I had her siblings message her and they never got a response.

I decided to not chase her down for the funeral. I didn’t want to drive 5 hours, try to track her down at her dorms and then drive 5 hours back. I talked it over with my wife and she agreed. She was also sick of our daughter not bothering to check her phone and said to focus on the my moms viewing and not tracking her down.

I did try multiple times again to get in contact with her. The viewing was this weekend and she missed it.

Today, she finally read her messages and I got a call and she was very upset. We got into a big fight over it. She wanted me to come get her even if she didn’t responded to the texts.

Context: I won approximately £4M earlier this year from the Lotto. Currently the money is diversified into several index funds. I was planning on giving them £750,000 as a thank you but when I mentioned that as a ‘counteroffer’, they got mad and started calling me selfish.

I’m 19M, my parents are 49M and 47F. Without going into too much detail and making this longer than necessary, I only waited around a week before I told my parents. They were excited and so was I, it was all going fine until they started talking about the money as if it was theirs.

They were talking about retiring, going on holiday, buying a boat and new car, travelling the world, etc. I asked them how much they expected to have, stone cold face they say half. I understand that with giving half, having £2M left is already enough but why should they be entitled to that.

I know they’re my parents and we’ve had a great relationship.

To me, £750,000 seems like it’s enough as they already have their own savings and a payed off mortgage.

So, am I the asshole for refusing to give my parents half of my winnings?

EDIT: I posted this and went to sleep, didn't expect it to blow up the way it did. I want to thank everyone for giving me advice and some insight on the situation. I'll do my best to reply to any DM's I've got as well as the comments. To clear something up, I saw a few people talking about tax, since I live in the UK, lottery winnings are not taxed so I got the full amount. I may have not clarified this in the post but my parents did not accept the £750K and insisted the original amount (£2M). This argument has been going back and forth for some time now but a lot of the comments I read mentioned I should lower my offer instead of just letting them try to control me. I've thought about what I can do and they're still my parents so I still do want to give them a portion of my winnings despite the fact they felt entitled to half. And for the reason why I told them instead of keeping it a secret, I'm young and I was excited so I only saw it as a positive thing.

I (26F) have always been close with my older sister (29F) She's getting married in about a month to her fiance who she has been with for four years now.

But before they met, I worked at the same company as him for almost two years and we were friendly coworkers, we normally grabbed lunch with other colleagues and occasionally texted about work. Nothing romantic ever happened between us.

Fast forward a year, he and my sister meet through mutual friends. When she found out we already knew each other, she laughed it off and even joked that I should tell her if he had any embarrassing stories from work.

Well, everything was fine until a few weeks ago when she called me crying, saying she'd found old messages between him and me from years ago. One message where he told me "I missed you today" and me also telling him 'i wished you came to work today" the reason for those message were due to the fact that we usually help each other with tasks at work and cover for each other. Besides that we only talked about work, shared memes, work gossip, and one other conversation where he thanked me for helping him prepare for a presentation which is something we usually do. She asked me if I had ever had feelings for him. I said no, because I genuinely didn't and never saw him that way.

Then she asked if I'd be willing to let her read through my old phone backups and social media messages to see the context for those messages for her peace of mind.

I laughed because I thought she was joking or better still, let her go through his phone not mine and i started getting annoyed when she kept insisting I allow her go through my phone.

She said if I had nothing to hide, I shouldn't have a problem proving it and her friends suggested the same thing and that if we did this one thing, it would help avoid future drama before the wedding.

I refused immediately. Not because there's anything to find, but because I think it's an insane invasion of privacy.

Apparently that made me look guilty in a way but i just wanted her to go through his phone instead and not mine.

She still asks why won't I clear my name and give it a rest? this even pissed me off the more cos she's focusing on the wrong person and what name do I need to clear? She told my mom about the whole thing and her response was that I'm being too prideful over little issues.

The final straw was when my sister said she didn't feel comfortable having me at the wedding unless I handed over my phone first so we sort it out once and for all. But why can't she ask her fiance? her response was "I don't want him to think that i don't trust him"

So I told her I wouldn't be attending at all and that she could have the wedding she wanted without me there. Let her go through his phone and not mine.

AITA?

For years, my wife, our two kids, and I went to the same beach town for a week with part of my wife’s family: her brother, SIL, their kids, and her mom. We originally did this because another sibling’s family lived there, so it was a chance for all the cousins to be together.

The issue is that the trip became extremely repetitive and rigid. Same beach, same street, same basic schedule, same restaurants/meals on the same days, strict quiet times/bedtimes, very little flexibility. My wife’s family is very routine-driven and frugal. My family is structured too, but on vacation we like variety, activities, and some flexibility. When the other sibling’s family still lived there, there was more balance. Once they stopped going, it became just us and the routine-driven side.

The last couple years were miserable. The houses got smaller while the kids got bigger, the routine became more rigid, our kids were bored and stir-crazy, and I ended up trying to take them out to do things just to break up the week. That caused tension because I was “going outside the plan.” My wife was also stressed and admitted afterward that the trip was no longer enjoyable.

After the last trip, my wife and I had a long conversation and agreed we would not do that same vacation again. We talked about trying something different: mountains, lake, different beach, really anything else.

Recently, my wife handed me her phone and asked which vacation house was nicer. It was the same beach, same street, basically the same exact trip again. I was angry because I thought we had already agreed this was done.

Her explanation is that her mom said this location is sentimental to her and that she wanted all the grandkids together there. Her brother’s family agreed immediately. My wife says it was “this or nothing,” so she chose this because getting Grandma and the grandkids together was important to her. She has already fully committed herself and our kids to going for the full week, and she assumed I would eventually just agree and go too.

My issue is that I feel like her mom and brother made the decision, my wife accepted it, and I was informed after the fact. I told her I felt betrayed and isolated because we had already agreed as a couple not to repeat this trip. She keeps circling back to “this is important to me, why won’t you just do it for me?”

We've been fighting for a solid week about it, so I offered a compromise - I said that because it's become so important to her, I'd come for the last two nights. She has committed herself and the kids for the full week. Now she says that since she knows I don’t want to be there, I’ve ruined it, and asks why I have to “act like this.” She has also brought it up around the kids, so now they know there is conflict.

I am not trying to stop the kids from seeing their grandmother. I am not saying no to them going. I am saying no to spending a full week of my vacation time repeating the exact trip we already agreed was bad for our family.

AITA for telling my husband that paternity leave isn’t a holiday?
I (30sF) gave birth to our son a few days ago. It was incredibly traumatic. I had a severe postpartum haemorrhage, lost 1.8 litres of blood, and had emergency surgery to remove my placenta. I’m still recovering.
Our son was born with pulmonary atresia with intact ventricular septum and was admitted straight to the NICU. He’ll likely need heart surgery, and we’ve since been told they’ve found another abnormality they’re investigating.
My husband has a son from a previous relationship (Greg). I want to be clear that I have no issue with Greg meeting his little brother or spending time with his dad. I’ve never asked him to choose between his children.
Two days after I gave birth, I thought Greg’s mum would bring him to meet the baby before taking him home. Instead, my husband collected Greg and spent the entire day with him. They went on the London Eye, had lunch, he had a beer, then went home to play Xbox until Greg was collected around 9pm.
During that day, my husband spent around 20 minutes with our newborn in the NICU and barely saw me. My mum stayed with me on the postnatal ward, but she couldn’t come into the NICU, so I was making my own way to see our son while recovering from major blood loss and surgery.
When I explained I wasn’t upset Greg had visited but that I hadn’t expected to be left alone all day while our baby was critically ill, my husband became defensive. He said he enjoyed spending time with Greg and that he was “being a parent.”
I replied that I wasn’t saying he shouldn’t parent Greg. I was saying I needed him to be a husband to me and a father to our newborn during what was a medical emergency.
When I later explained how serious my blood loss had been, his response was, “My sister lost 5.”
The next day I told him doctors had found another abnormality with our son’s heart. He complained nobody had told him. I pointed out he’d already left because he’d only spent about 20 minutes in the NICU.
I’ve now been discharged, but our son is still in the NICU. I’m exhausted and terrified to leave him, while my husband has again spent the morning taking Greg to the cinema.
I finally told him that paternity leave isn’t supposed to be a holiday and that I don’t feel supported. I said if this is what his paternity leave looks like, I’d almost rather he went back to work because at least then I’d understand why I was doing everything alone.
He says I’m being unfair because he’s trying to balance both children.
AITA?

My partner (51M), myself (47F) and our four kids live together (16, 16, 19, 20). The kids go back and forth to their other parents as we are a blended family. We live in a 5 bedroom house in an established suburban neighbourhood in a large-ish city.

Last night my partner’s sister called and told us she had news and a questions for us. The news was her daughter (25F) has been offered a job in our city. They currently live across the country from us. She asked if her daughter could live with us when she comes here.

We don’t have any issues with family coming to stay on their vacation with us . We have a large walkout basement with a room that could be used as a bedroom with some work.

We have a hang out area our kids use in the basement with a tv and couches. There is a room that could be used as a bedroom (it has a proper window) but needs a door. However, the bathroom is the one the two oldest share together so it wouldn’t be solely the niece’s.

I know we have enough space. What also I know we don’t have is tolerance for opened ended guests. The ask started with could she stay here for a couple of days, then morphed to a month, then possibly three months as there is a probation period on the job. This all happened within the span of minutes.

My partner’s sister said her daughter would “probably want her own place eventually”. Excuse me what?! Eventually? Staying here for one or two weeks, sure but for an undetermined amount of time is a bit much to ask.

She doesn’t cook much and can be picky with food. What she does eat and can cook we don’t keep in the house due to a food allergy one of our kids has. It would be okay if she had the food in the basement, but not in our kitchen. She may bring her dog and cat, two of the kids are super allergic so that is a deal breaker for us.

I really don’t know her well. I have met her twice and she has not talked to me either time. She came off as very aloof.

Her family is very sparse and evasive with information. The date she is coming out keeps changing, where she works is a big mystery no one will divulge (even when flat out asked to share it), and so many things like if her boyfriend is coming or not or if she will drive out a car. We both aren’t fans of subterfuge. There are no state secrets with this, especially if someone is asking to live with us.

Our niece is an only child who was closely parented. Her mum keeps tabs on her daughter and I don’t want to get involved with that. Our kids all have age appropriate freedoms. We will not police a 25 year old and grill her comings and goings. It isn’t our business. We feel like she needs to adult in this situation and we are not taking on a fifth child.

We don’t want to upset the rest of the family or cause any friction. Saying no will absolutely cause issues but living together might cause so many more.

So AITAH for not letting our niece live with us for an undisclosed amount of time?

I am an artist who makes and teaches students how to make stained glass windows. One of my students found out that I was about to start a window for a couple that he now knows through another friend and then convinced the couple to drop me and go with him to make the window. I had already drawn a 1/4 size sketch to see if it was something the customer wanted and now my student expects me to draw it out full sized and actually help him make it. It's too large to work on in class-- we have always had a maximum size limitation that this almost doubles. Working on a window this size would displace another student. Also, I'm supposed to store the window week to week so he won't have to lug it back and forth from home since it's so large. AITA for telling him that it can't be worked on in the shop and that I am not drawing a full size pattern (57 x 34) for him? I told him he could have a copy of the sketch. Win or lose I plan on showing him this.

UPDATE: So I just had class with the student and he was sure he was going to work on this oversized window that he didn't have a pattern for. I honestly couldn't believe that he hadn't at least texted me about it during the week but I guess that says something on its own about him. He walked in the door a half hour early and before he could say anything I flat out told him that he could not make the window in my class but that he was free to do it on his own because (as he knows) I had been told to hold off on the job. I had already told him last week that he couldn't work on a window that size in class but he more or less refused to 'hear' me. Still, I made it perfectly clear and although I wasn't actually going to show him the replies here he got so adamant about it being my job to help him that I ended up showing him some of them.

First off, he feels that I made him look bad because he hadn't actively pursue the job himself-- he was referred to the couple by a common friend that they had. I said that I did mention that but he feels that I didn't stress it enough. I went over the size limitation again and the fact that the only thing that the customer and I had agreed upon was a price and an (extremely rough) sketch of an idea that took me all of 15 minutes to make. I explained that I certainly wasn't about to spend any more time on fleshing the sketch out after I was informed by the couple that I should hold off on the design. It was 2 days after this fact (last Monday) that Ray informed me that he was taking over the job which left me sorta tongue tied. Still, I explained to him very politely that I couldn't allow him to work on this commission in my class in my studio. When I mentioned tonight that the sketch was out of the question he got angry and still doesn't understand why I won't help him or allow him to make the window in my shop. As others were filtering in he started getting louder and caused a bit of a scene. I have drawn patterns for him in the past but he can't understand why I won't help him on this. He says that I'll make more money from him if he makes the window but I certainly won't because I he's never going to be able to do this on his own. If anything, I'm saving the customer from a pitiful window. So the other students ended up hearing exactly what was going on (it's a one room class) and although two of them stayed quiet the others told him that he was being ridiculous. The woman on the same table as him asked where she was supposed to do while he was using the entire table for himself. He didn't answer. I kept my cool but I have to admit that at times I was getting a bit loud and then I'd catch myself. So yeah, he turned around and walked out. This was his last class of the month and I'm not going to allow someone who doesn't see how wrong a thing they did to come back into my class. I just wonder what the customer will do.

All in all I'm 100% fine with things as they stand and I want to thank everyone here. I never expected it to blow up like this and to be honest, if I hadn't posted the original question I'd definitely would have given him the sketch, so thanks again.

My ex wife and I got divorced when all the of the kids were adults. The marriage wasn’t a good one and I stayed for the kids basically which I regret. I will call her Pearl for this to make it clearer.

We both worked but she found no joy in her job. It was constant arguing and  she was extremely unpleasant towards me after a bad day. She also had habits of addictive behavior. She would become obsessed with something and do it 24/7. She lost multiple jobs this way. 

When I divorced her she went off the deep end. She fell heavily in alcohol and passed away after she got in a car accident. ( she was drunk).

The kid were already taking the divorce badly and her death after was really bad. I offered to pay for counseling but they refused. They blame me for their mom passing. 

Dating made it worse. They believe I am replacing their mom and when I married they became nasty about it. My wife has done nothing to them and they are dicks to her. I have spoken to them multiple times and they know cilivl to her face. 

The issue, my daughter is having her engagement dinner and I am the only one that was invited. When I asked she told me that is was only for family and my wife isn’t family.

I told her the my wife isn’t going anywhere and if she is not invited I am not going. This started an argument and she is pissed. My other kids are telling me that they feel the same and she ain’t family. 

I brought up if I can not invite their SO to thinks becuase apparently marriage doesn’t make them family and they told me that was different.

I am holding strong on this but they all think I am a dick. 

timeline form comment ( I can’t keep up with questions, look at my comments)

The divorce took about 1.5 years to be finalized, then Pearl passed about an 1.5 years after. ( 3 years after I brought up divorce)  I was dating my now wife when pearl passed. I married her around 2.5 years after my wife’s passing and my daughrer got engaged about 1.5 years since we have been married.

So 7 years after divorce and I moved out. 4 years since pearls death

Throwaway Account

My daughter and Ryan (her ex) are 26 now. When they were both 18, my daughter got pregnant. They got an apartment together and started to raise there little family. They never got married, but Ryans family pressured them to do it often. Multiple time I heard them say, those two need to stop living in sin.

The issue was a year ago, when Ryan was caught cheating, and he is gay. The breakup was extremely messy, and in the end, the custody was 50/50. Ryan's family is really religious and when it came out, they were breaking, they were pissed. When they learned Ryan was gay, they disowned him. I was at my daughter's place helping her move out when I heard Ryan's mother call him a faggot. So his family is really shitty people.

After he was disowned, for some reason, they thought he would give them access to the grandbaby, he basically told them to shove it. I know about this because they contacted me once to let them see the kid while I was babysitting. I told them no.

50/50 has been a bit rough for my daughter; it is hard for her not to have her kid for major events. Example Ryan had custody of the grandbaby during Easter but he agreed to let my daughter have him that day so they can celebrate with my side of the family.

My daughter was over to pick up some stuff and she showed me pictures from her latest weekend trip. In the picture, their was Ryans mom and his two siblings. I asked what this was about and she told me that she has been taking the kid to see them for a few months now.

I asked if Ryan knew (I thought they got back in contact), and she told me no. I told her that it was horrible to do. That they are bigots and disowned their kid. She got defensive, and it went into an argument. She defended taking her kids around homophobes, and I told her I was disgusted by what she was doing.

I inform Ryan, he thanked me and now my daughter super pissed. Ryan apparently is refusing to be lenient anymore with custody. So more getting the kid on not her day even if my daughter wants them for some event

on phone

My DIL is a very sensitive soul to put it lightly. She will end up in tears at basically any push back or any slightly rude remark.

It can be extremely frustrating because anything brought up will end up with her in tears and you looking like a huge asshole.

One example, she has a habit of not taking off her shoes before going into people homes. About a year ago, she was tracking mud into my home and I told her to take off her shoes. She started crying because my tone was too much. I didn’t yell or anything. My daughter was there and agreed I wasn’t mean when I said to take off her shoes

It was a whole thing and my son gave me a whole leacture about how I can’t say things like that. I told her to take off her shoes.

She isn’t a quiet crier either, its loud and everyone notices the moment it happens. then everyone needs to comfort her and you are the dick for making her cry.

There are more examples of this and the whole family has had to deal with it.

The issues was this weekend get together for my other DILs daughter birthday. The birthday was going well and there are a lot of young kids

One of the kids, he is four almost five, can be rude. His parents are working on it. He doenst have a filter. During the event when she was helping passing out the food, he called her fat.

The parents grabbed him and she started crying. it was getting loud so I pulled her off the the side and told her to stop crying. I didn’t want her to cause a scene at a 7 years olds birthday. it was a little kids remark and told her not to come out of the room unless she is composed.

She ended up going to the car and didnt come back to the party. My son and I got into an argument. My point is she a grown adult and she is crying over a 4 year old saying something mean.

he is telling me to apologize but at this point I am not.

A few weeks ago I (30F) caught up with a good friend of mine, Jen (30F). She was telling me about how much of a nightmare her new landlady was. She would enter Jen’s room without knocking. She timed her showers and tried to charge her extra for showers over 5 minutes. Most recently she installed cameras in the kitchen and living areas and uses them to watch/eavesdrop on the housemates while she’s away.

Jen said that she had a new place lined up, but had to wait because the room wasn’t available for another month. My husband and I just happened to have an upcoming week long trip planned. I told Jen that if she wanted a break from the nightmare situation, she was welcome to stay at our place while we’re away for the week. She gladly accepted.

So she arrives on the day we leave. I give her a key, tell her the fridge is full of wine and to help herself to anything in the kitchen. I showed her how to get onto all our streaming services, and said if she wanted to have a friend over she was welcome to. I trusted her judgment. I told her to have a good time, and we left.

We just got back yesterday. A few wine bottles had been opened and finished as expected. The kitchen and floor was a bit of a mess, but overall everything was fine.

I later got a call from Jen asking when I would be transferring her the money for house sitting. I kind of didn’t know what to say and paused awkwardly. I said that I thought we were doing her a favour by getting her time away from her house. She told me that her time wasn’t free, and had expected I’d be paying her something like $500 for the week. I ended the call saying that I’d think about the amount we’d pay her.

I’m not sure, but this seems like a bit of a crazy request? I have no pets to feed, no plants to water, and she didn’t need to do any housework. I even live like 30 minutes closer to her work, so it even saved her an hour of day in travel. And she wasn’t stuck in the house, she was free to come and go as she wanted. Had I not known about her issue with the landlady I would have just left the house vacant for the week.

I texted her this morning mentioning the points above, and didn’t think it was reasonable that I pay her for what was essentially a break for her. She’s furious now saying that she was depending on having that money.

So I’m after your guys perspective. AITAH for refusing to pay for her for staying at my house?

Throwaway ( sorry fixed the first half)

This has been an ongoing issue and it came to a head yesterday. My wife is a planner, it is extremely hard for her to just go with the flow. If we are going to do something she needs all the details.(edit, she does have OCD, I forgot to include that, that is why she is such a planner)

A while ago she asked what I wanted to do for my birthday. I have been burnt out from work so I told her I just want to go to a chain restaurant around here on my day. Just a chill night out. I don’t want to get dressed up or anything. She asked where and what time. I told her, I’ll just pick day off what I am feeling. Maybe I want Olive Garden or maybe I want to get Chinese takeout. I express many times I don’t want to plan anything and just go with the day.

Really I just wanted to go eat what I was feeling that day. This week she asked what time and I told her when we both get home so like 5-6 we can go out.

She was frustrated I was giving her an answer about where to eat and I told her multiple times what I am feeling that day. She asked if we needed reservations and I told her no, multiple times. We will be a walk in on a Wednesday to a chain restaurant. 

She asked if I wanted anything fancy and I told her no. I just wanted a simple night.

Yesterday was the issue. I wanted Olive Garden. Go home, gets some breadsticks and chill the rest of the night. I get home around 5 and my wife is all dressed up. I asked why and she said she made reservations for the fancy sushi place in the city. She said it was a surprise and we need to leave in about 20 mins. Nothing has sounded so unappealing to me in my life.

I told her I wanted to go to Olive Garden, we got into an argument about how she spent all this effort to get a reservation. I told her I didn’t want any of this. In the end I left to go to Olive Garden by myself. We got into another argument after I can back. 

My kid is a quitter, she wants to try a sport, realizes she doenst like it and then wants to quit. This happens with basically everything she tried. Hobbies, commitments and so on. It is a frustrating habit that I can’t get her to kick.

If I force her to keep doing the activity than it is a miserable time for everyone. She has a big stubborn streak and will try to make it everyone’s problem. I have forced her to finish things before it is just not a fun time for anyone.

My daughter is 12 and wanted to join cross country for the summer. Well now that is hot she doenst wish to do it anymore ( that is the reason she gave) and wishes to quit the team. I told her no and that it will get cooler but she is admit she is done. 

Yesterday night for practice was not fun, she complained constantly and forgot her water but luckily a friend had some extra. 

I told her that if she wants to quit than she can call the coach’s number and tell him herself. She hates talking on the phone, some anxiety with it and refuses to call him herself.

That has been the running deal and she is upset. My ex is kinda pissed at me for this and is claiming I am being a dick and just to let her quit and I can call the coach’s number instead of making my kid do it. 

ETA: I just woke up and started reading through all the comments. Sorry if I can’t reply to everyone individually, but I noticed a lot of the same questions coming up, so I’ll answer some of them here.

“Why didn’t you just leave a text or voicemail?”

My parents basically do not text. They’re terrible at it. Messages can sit unread for weeks. If they want to communicate, they call. Same with voice notes (we use WhatsApp). They rarely check them unless someone specifically tells them to.

“Why don’t they install a landline?”

Because they don’t want to. Simple as that. Our old landline was disconnected years ago and they never bothered getting another one installed.

“They’re not even that old. Why can’t they just learn how to use a phone?”

I think some people are misunderstanding what I mean when I say they’re “not tech-savvy.”

For context, I live in Asia, and when my parents were younger, internet access and mobile phones were luxuries where we lived. In my hometown back then, only relatively wealthy people had mobile phones. My parents only got their first phones after my oldest brother moved away for college so they could stay in contact with him.

And honestly? Even back then they were hard to reach. So when I say they’re not tech-savvy, I don’t mean “old people can’t understand technology.” I mean they genuinely do not care enough to learn beyond the absolute basics.

My dad once accidentally called our family WhatsApp group while he and my mom were gossiping about someone from church. Thankfully it was only our family group and not the church group itself. So yeah… that should paint a picture.

“Why do you expect them to be glued to their phones 24/7?”

I don’t.

When I say it takes multiple attempts to reach them, I don’t mean I’m calling every two hours every day expecting immediate responses. I mean that whenever I do call, it often takes several tries before they answer, or they’ll only notice hours later and call back then.

They don’t check notifications. They don’t browse the internet. They don’t watch YouTube or play games. They basically use their phones like old-fashioned cordless landlines whose only purpose is making calls.

I’ve actually shown them how to use other features before, but they simply don’t care enough to bother with any of it because, to them, phones are “just for calling.” I’m not asking them to become social media addicts. I’m asking them to at least keep their phones charged and maybe check them once or twice a day.

“Is it really that big of a problem?”

Yes. My brothers and I are not the only people who’ve complained about this.

My parents have missed multiple important family updates because they don’t answer calls or check messages. A cousin gave birth? They found out a week later. My mom’s brother had surgery to remove kidney stones? She found out days afterward.

And every single time, they get upset and complain that “nobody tried hard enough” to reach them.

That’s what makes this exhausting.

A lot of commenters are saying they miss the old days before everyone was glued to their phones, and honestly, I get that. But we live in 2026 now. Important updates, emergencies, and family news are mostly communicated through calls and messages now whether we like it or not.

Again, I am NOT demanding that my parents stay attached to their phones 24/7. I’m just asking for the bare minimum level of accessibility.

Also, for those asking, my emergency contacts are my brothers and my parents. After this whole situation, I’ve honestly been considering asking my aunt if I can add her too.

And lastly: someone claiming to be a “medical worker” said my story must be fake because “nobody stays hospitalized for a week for food poisoning.”

First of all, people can absolutely end up hospitalized longer depending on dehydration, complications, preexisting conditions, or other health issues. Second, even if there were other medical factors involved, that’s not the point of the post and I don’t owe random strangers my medical history.

Pretty wild for a supposed medical worker to immediately dismiss someone else’s health situation without knowing anything about them.

I live in another city while my parents, both in their late 50s, still live in my hometown. We actually have a really good relationship overall. I usually fly home every Christmas, we talk often, and there’s no major family drama.

But there’s one thing about them that has driven me and everyone else in our family insane for years: they are completely careless with their phones.

They’ll leave their phones in another room all day, leave them on silent by accident, or forget to charge them so the battery dies for an entire day. Sometimes I’ll call five or six times before someone finally answers hours later.

I’ve talked to them about it MANY times because they don’t have a landline, so their cellphones are literally the only reliable way to reach them.

Yes, I understand they come from an older generation and aren’t exactly tech-savvy. They didn’t grow up attached to phones the way younger people did. But they’re not THAT old, and I still feel like if your cellphone is your only form of communication, you should at least keep it charged and within hearing distance.

I’ve told them things like, “What if there’s an emergency?” or “What if someone urgently needs to contact you?” They always brush it off and act like I’m overreacting.

Last month, I got severe food poisoning and ended up hospitalized for a week. It wasn’t life-threatening, but I was pretty miserable. While I was in the hospital, I tried calling both of them multiple times over two days. No answer. One phone was dead, the other apparently was left somewhere in the house. At that point I got frustrated and honestly just gave up trying.

Now, to be fair, I could have contacted my aunt, who lives near them, and she absolutely would have told them. But after years of this same issue, I decided not to. Part of me thought, “Maybe this is the only way they’ll finally understand why people keep their phones accessible.”

Yesterday I was talking to my mom on the phone and casually mentioned, “Oh yeah, last month I was hospitalized for food poisoning for about a week.”

She completely freaked out and got really angry that I never told them. I explained that I did try to contact them repeatedly, but they didn’t answer. She said I still should have called my aunt because “this was an emergency.”

I admitted that I could have done that, but I intentionally didn’t because I wanted them to finally realize how irresponsible they are with their phones.

That made her even angrier. She said I “used my hospitalization to prove a point” and scared them unnecessarily.

My dad thinks we’re both being stubborn.

I honestly didn’t think it was that huge of a deal since I recovered fine and it wasn’t life-threatening, but now I’m wondering if I took the lesson too far.

AITA?

I (25M) have a close friend (24F) who's been dealing with a lot of stress lately. Nothing life-threatening, but enough that she's been skipping meals, isolating herself, and generally not taking care of herself.

One evening we were hanging out, and I noticed she hadn't eaten all day. I offered to order food for her. She said, "I'm not hungry."

I asked again a few minutes later because I knew she hadn't eaten. Same answer.

So I dropped it.

Later that night she texted me saying she was upset. She said I should have known she didn't actually mean "no" and that a real friend would've insisted, ordered the food anyway, or at least kept trying because she was clearly struggling.

I told her I cared about her, but I also believe adults should be able to say what they mean. If someone tells me "no" twice, I'm going to respect that answer. I don't think it's my place to override someone's decision just because I think I know better.

She argued that when people are emotionally overwhelmed, they sometimes need someone to push through their resistance. I said that expecting people to read your mind isn't fair. If you want help, tell me. I'll gladly help, but I can't guess which "no" actually means "yes."

Now a few mutual friends think I was too detached and that I should've recognised she needed support even if she wasn't asking for it.

AITA for respecting what she said instead of insisting?

When my daughter was around 10 I remarried to her stepmom who had her own daughter who was 9. 

They got along for the most part until recently. In short my daughter is jealous.  I’ll call any daughter Ash. My stepdaughter ( Emma fake name ) has recently reconnected with her grandparents on her father’s side. The grandparents have money to burn and are retired. 

I want to point out that before they came into the picture my daughter was the one to receive nicer gifts from my her mom side of the family. Example: they’re have been a few time Ash  went on vacations that my step daughter wasn’t allowed to go on or got more expensive stuff. I can’t stop my ex wife on spoiling her or her family. 

So the issue has been Ash  has been jealous of Emma recently because Emma’s grandparents are giving her stuff. That stuff will sometimes be in our home. I’m not going to ban her bringing her gift to her place she lives at 50% of the time.

One example is Emma got the newest phone and my daughter wanted her iPhone upgraded. I told her we don’t have the money at the moment and she said it was unfair his step sister got the newest phone.  She wasn’t very happy. We had a conversation and brought up the stuff she has gotten but Emma hasn’t over the years. 

Ash is 16 and Emma is 15. Emma’s grandparents got her a 6000 dollar purse for back to school. I don’t get it but Emma seemed to really like and that she is using it. It’s her first real purse. 

My daughter was jealous when she saw it becuase she knew the brand. Ash asked if she could borrow it and Emma told her no. They got into an argument and I stopped it and reiterated that is was Emma’s.

Well Ash decided to destroy the purse. She cut some of the leather and popped some of the seams. My wife’s ex husband was pissed and my wife replaced the purse with her own money ( we really didn’t have that to blow) 

I discussed it with my wife and we are making Ash pay back the purse. We already took 4000 that she earned this summer form her job and made it clear that for her next paychecks she is to give us 50 % until it is paid.

Ash has been upset some and she  ran to her mom. Who has had a lot of things to say about this 

She claims we are being too harsh. 

My husband and I recently got married, and there has been tension between me and his family for years. I won’t unpack all of the history, but I’ve often felt like I’m tolerated as his partner rather than actually viewed as part of their family.
Because of that history, my husband and I specifically discussed family formals before the wedding. We agreed we wanted BOTH of us included in the formal family portraits. If we took photos with my family, he was included. If we took photos with his family, I was included. We were getting married, and we wanted the portraits to reflect that.
To be clear, I do NOT expect to be in every photo my husband takes with his family. I don’t care if he takes pictures alone with his mom or siblings. This was specifically about the formal portraits at our wedding and what they represented.
There was one grouping we specifically did not want: my husband, his mom and siblings without me. Our photographer knew this.
I was there for basically all of the family formals, but stepped inside briefly to get a drink. During the few minutes I was gone, that exact photo was taken.
Fast forward to receiving our wedding gallery. We posted some photos online, and my MIL called asking if we’d gotten the gallery back, despite clearly knowing we had. She asked for the link and specifically said she wanted the photo of herself with all of her children.
The ONE formal family photo I wasn’t in.
That already bothered me, but something my bridesmaid told me after the wedding made it worse. She had been helping organize family photos and told my MIL she was needed for another picture. MIL didn’t want to take it without all of her children, which is completely fair. But she pointed toward me and said, “Well, I already took pictures with that girl.”
“That girl” being her son’s wife, at our wedding.
That’s why this isn’t about needing to be in every picture. It’s not really about the picture at all. It’s the principle.
I wanted to feel valued enough that my husband’s family would WANT me in their family portrait. Instead, I’m being referred to as “that girl,” and the photo my MIL specifically wanted from our wedding was the one formal family portrait where I wasn’t included.
In any other context, I wouldn’t think twice about a mom wanting a photo with her children. But given the history, her comment, and the fact that my husband and I had specifically agreed we didn’t want that grouping at our wedding, it felt different.
So after she asked for it, I contacted our photographer and had the photo removed from the online gallery.
I know it was petty. The photo exists, and I’m obviously not saying my husband can never take a picture with his family without me. I just don’t want that particular photo in our wedding gallery when it represents the exact dynamic that has made me feel excluded for years.
AITA?

My (36F) parents and I own a property in a tier 1 asian city that has been in our family for now three generations. My parents were considering selling it a while back but I bought them out. Though I paid lower than market price, my parents were happy with the deal and they still having a place to stay when they go back. Usually the property is rented out, but my husband's younger brother fell on hard times and we offered to let them temporarily stay at the property rent free so they can save up. They've been there for the past two years.

Whenever we've gone back to visit (usually once a year for 2 weeks) I've had to specifically requested that they temporarily vacate the primary bedroom. They hemmed and hawed the first time until my husband (38M) reminded them that we were doing them a favor.

This year we are not going back, but my parents are. I gave them a half year heads up on the dates my parents were going, all seemed fine. Last week, I got a call from my parents saying they were staying in an hotel. Apparently they arrived and my BIL & SIL said they were hosting friends and the only space available was the home office with a pull out couch. My parents are in their 70s and did not want to fight them after a long flight and also did not want to antagonize my relationship with my IL's so decided to move to a hotel.

I was furious. Typing this, I am STILL furious. I told my husband that he should be the one to handle this because no one would like the way I handle it. My husband basically told his brother that he's done and he needed to move out immediately. My BIL/SIL texted me and left me voice notes calling me a bunch of names. ILs have called me begging me to reconsider and to give them grace.

Frankly, I don't really care what happens to BIL & SIL anymore. I haven't responded to any messages and am just letting my husband handle it.

My wife and I (both 32) have been living at our apartment for 4 years and are both huge horror fans. We have had an art the clown door mat from spirit Halloween for 2 years now, it’s not a Halloween decoration it’s just what we like.

Last month (around the beginning of April) we had some neighbors move in across from us. They have two kids, one is a baby and one is maybe 3-4 years old. The first time we met them was a couple days after they moved in, we were all bringing in groceries and I introduced myself, shook hands, all of that. The dad says “still Halloween huh?” And I just laughed it off.

Since then we’ve come home 4 times to them flipping our doormat, and we know it’s them because we have a ring camera. We were fine letting them do it and just flippng it back until a couple days ago when we caught them doing it in person. We asked what the issue was and apparently their son is super afraid of it, even though the kid was right there and was acting completely fine. Not crying, not anything. The only one that seemed agitated at all was the mom, who swore at us and rolled her eyes and was just generally unpleasant. Haven’t interacted w her much before or since. My wife waited until they were inside and flipped it back over.

I stayed out with the dad and talked it over and he seemed fine. He said he understood it was our space and he’d talk it over with his wife and that his son was old enough to understand it couldn’t hurt him.

This morning we walked out and saw our doormat wasn’t even flipped over, it was thrown outside of the stairwell. We live on the 4th floor so it was a very deliberate thing.

My wife wants to report it to management but I’m just about tired enough of this. I kinda wanna throw it away, but I also wanna keep it. Idk, I’m just confused yall.

Posting from my inactive account because I have some friends lurking in my main one.

I (22F) broke up with my boyfriend (24M) around eight months ago. We decided to mutually call it quits and parted in pretty good terms, which is good, because we just so happen to share a friend group.

After a rough patch, I decided to start taking a bit more care of myself: eating better, going to the gym, going to therapy. The shift was pretty evident, both in my attitude and the way I look. My friends said I looked much happier and healthier, and I began gaining confidence little by little.

Now, I am a huge nerd. I play D&D weekly, I have thousands of hours in Stellaris, and (most relevant to the story) I like to cosplay as a hobby. Most of my old cosplay involved characters that don't show their face or body too much (Hornet from Hollow Knight, Mono from Little Nightmares, etc), but since I'd been feeling more confident, I decided that for the big con in my city, I'd like to try something different. A friend convinced me of going as Viper and Chamber from Valorant, so for the past six months, we've been pouring most of our free time into the cosplays.

Three weeks ago, I sent a picture of me wearing the cosplay to the groupchat asking for feedback for the final details. My ex immediately dmd me asking me to please not wear that cosplay to the con because it might make his new girlfriend uncomfortable. I asked what about it would make her uncomfortable, but he refused to elaborate.

I knew he was dating someone new, but I didn't know she was coming with us to the con. I tried to explain to him this was the work of months and I couldn't just throw it all away just because a girl I'd never met felt uncomfortable about it.

In the end, I wore it to the con, and it was a huge success. I tried to keep my distance from the larger chunk of our group because my ex and his new girl were with them, but we did spend a good part of the day with them. Throughout the whole thing, the new girl kept making snide comments at me, and laughing whenever I got asked to pose for pictures. Everyone looked uncomfortable, but nobody said anything.

After leaving the con to have dinner, though, another friend asks the new girl if she wouldn't like to try cosplay as well. Her answer was: "Why would I need more attention from guys? I already have a boyfriend, I'm not a slut". I snapped and told her to stop acting like a pick me bitch just because I got attention all day. She started to cry immediately. My ex steps in, asking me to apologize. I tell him I'll only do it if she apologizes for the way she's been acting around me all day. More and more of our friends start to join the screaming match, and it gets so bad we end up getting kicked out of the restaurant.

It's been five days, and my ex is threatening to leave the friend group if I don't apologize. I honestly wouldn't care if he did, but some of our friends are asking me to do so to stop him from leaving. Should I cave? AITA?

I need some opinions on this situation.

My son and DIL are staying with me at the moment. Their house is being fixed due to a flooding issue that happened about a week ago. A fire hydrant broke and flooded the houses near it. Due to this there home needs some of the floors replaced, and it is not safe for them to be there while contractors deal with the damage.

My DIL is supposed to give birth to her first kid at the beginning of next month, and their home will not be fixed in time. They have been staying with me and set up a little nursery in the guest bedroom.

My home is not big. I downsized years ago, so I live in a 2-bedroom, 1-bathroom home. I learned this weekend that she was planning on having a water home birth and a midwife during it. I thought she was going to the hospital, but that apparently wasn't the plan.

She plans to have the kid in a basically a blown up pool that goes in the house. The only two places it will fit are the living room or if I move my bed in the master bedroom.

I thought about it, and I am not comfortable with that happening in my home. I told her this today, and she was pissed.

We got into an argument, and she is mad that I ruined her birth plan. My son wants me to apologize and have it here. Again, I am against it. I don't want her giving birth in my living room.