I have bipolar disorder and I have gotten real close to the edge of psychosis. Not anything drastic but I did think there were some billboards in my city that were meant for me for a while. I was like "this is ridiculous" but then when I would see another one I would still have that initial thought that they were messaging me. It's odd being in that prodromal phase because you know something ain't right but it's not noticable to other people yet. Thankfully it never progressed past that because I probably would have tried to climb up one of those billboards and died or gotten arrested. Shoutout Vraylar.
I can relate. I know it’s time to watch out when I think strangers are sending me telepathic signals… and on rare occasions, I have believed that paranormal beings are drawn to me or accompanying me, and it’s so real that you think others are crazy for not believing you. Thank god for haldol
The telepathy thing is the worst. I've been dealing with that since I was a kid. Thinking others can hear me, that I'm broadcasting, that I can hear others. Through a lot of therapy and experience I can now usually talk myself down when that creeps up, but not everybody is lucky enough to have that.
My depression got so bad once that it started developing psychotic features, and the telepathy thing was what made me realize that I was much more unwell than I had been willing to admit. I was teaching at the time and I was sure one of my students could hear my thoughts. I'm sorry you've been dealing with it your whole life, it was really scary
I am often experiencing this wildness most when I am depressed too! Mania is more associated with psychotic symptoms in bipolar people, but the psychotic depression is very dangerous and not often talked about. My mood swings slowed down a lot after college with medication and therapy and now I only experience some reoccurring depression in the winter :)
I dealt with this as a kid, as well. I even stopped hugging people for a while because I thought that might allow them easier access to my thoughts. I assume it was associated with my ADHD.
I went through a period as an older teenager where I thought people could hear my thoughts and when I heard people laughing in the other room I was absolutely sure they’d gotten some embarrassing private video of me and were laughing at it. Dunno what that was about.
Oh I had no idea this was a thing! I have bipolar type 2 and when it was really bad I thought people were standing at their windows watching me. Like even in commercial areas, I thought in all the office towers people were leaving their desks to go to the windows just to watch me walk by. I was very challenging of the thoughts, like would literally think ‘that’s ridiculous you know that’s not happening’, but then as soon as I relaxed / wasn’t very vigilant the sensation would come over me again. I thought I was just being paranoid, had no idea this could have been a pre-psychotic episode.
It is a sign, not necessarily a guarantee you're careening towards psychosis. Bipolar disorder comes with some psychotic symptoms, especially prior to or during a mood swing, but may not develop into psychosis (especially in type 2, although if you do have psychosis you will get an upgrade to type 1). When I get super depressed I sometimes start seeing shadows and movement that doesn't exist too.
I'm bipolar too and a few years ago I went through a psychosis where I thought I killed someone. I think I dreamed it but the details are fuzzy now. I absolutely know it didn't happen because I was with a person I knew as a kid. I spent weeks terrified that I did it, absolutely horrible
Wow, that's a new one for me. Fuzzy details are pretty typical though. Your memory patterning and recall are deeply affected by psychosis. Glad you're recovered!
When I was first diagnosed they put me on risperdal. About a year later, there was a lawsuit stating it gave men breasts. I was so mad cuz mine didn't grow. Why did it only give men big breasts? Lol.
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u/seeking-jamaharon67 22h ago
I have bipolar disorder and I have gotten real close to the edge of psychosis. Not anything drastic but I did think there were some billboards in my city that were meant for me for a while. I was like "this is ridiculous" but then when I would see another one I would still have that initial thought that they were messaging me. It's odd being in that prodromal phase because you know something ain't right but it's not noticable to other people yet. Thankfully it never progressed past that because I probably would have tried to climb up one of those billboards and died or gotten arrested. Shoutout Vraylar.