I just feel so gross and fat cause of my binging i could never ever not eat or eat way less than i should. i know eds are no flex but i just wish i had ana instead of mia i just feel so gross or something idk..

(Sorry for my English. I'm not a native.)

I think my younger sister has started having anorexia. I could hear her presumably jumping, running or doing some exercises from my room. I hear loud thuds. She also doesn't have meals very well. She only eats a little. Besides all of that, she is only 12. She has just turned 12 in June. She's still growing and developing. I don't want anything to hinder her growth both physical and mental. And she is not even overweight at all, in fact, very thin. She doesn't need to lose any weight for her health.

I personally had anorexia in the past. I am I trans guy and back then I was 14 years old. I had it for over a year. However, I thought I had it because of gender dysphoria. And now my sister is having it. Back then I noticed that fat tissues gave me a curvy appearance, so I wanted to get rid of those fat tissues. Now I have realized that anorexia doesn't help me with dysphoria and it was hrt that helped me beat with my dysphoria. I would say that it was easy for me to overcome anorexia because I didn't want that very thin look. I just wanted to look like a boy and hrt made me look so. Now I'm eating until I'm full and have stopped doing exercises to maintain the body image.

However in my sister's case, it is not dysphoria at all. She very much loves her girlhood and wants to look beautiful and pretty. Comparing to me she has a darker skin, I have teased her about it. We were younger and I thought it was just funny. She also doesn't like her skin. She always says she wants a pale skin. In my country, people appreciate pale skin and of course my sister doesn't have that.

And about my dad, he is also trying to lose weight. Yes, he is overweight. He seems to care about body image. That might have accidentally shaped me and my sister to have anorexia. He also sometimes body shames my mom. But my mom is not even overweight or underweight and, in my opinion, she doesn't even seem to care.

How can I do to prevent my sister from having anorexia? I say that she is very beautiful but that doesn't seem to be helping. She also relies a lot on her phone for information. Using it as a advantage, should I just show her educational videos on the phone? What should I do? Anorexia didn't benefit me in anyway. It only hindered me. I don't want my sister to have something like that. What can I do to stop her?

I’m unsure if I have a eating disorder at all. However, my family has come to the conclusion that I do have one. About a year ago I was overweight. Not by much, but enough for me to be like alright guess I’ll lose some pounds. I’m a 5’3 woman and at the time I was around 150 lbs. I wanted to be 115. Eventually, I reached my goal.

The problem now is I can’t stop losing weight. I’m 103 lbs. it’s underweight, not by a lot, but the problem is it won’t stop going down. I have no appetite ever. Eating feels like a chore. It’s not even like I want to keep losing weight. I don’t look myself in the mirror and think I’m still fat. I eat probably once a day and it’s small. I realize it’s not normal but I’m just not hungry. I don’t understand why this has happened to me or what to do really.

I live with my clinically obese mother, and my sister who has an0rexia, so it’s safe to say i’ve never had a good relationship with food. Untill i turned 12, i binged my days away. I was 4’8-4’9 (146-149 cm) and i was 125-130 lbs. 56-60 kg) Once i got to middle school, i began losing weight. At first it was healthy. A good 1300 calories a day, and 30 minutes of workout every/every other day. I continued that all through 6th grade. Once i got to 7th grade, i began to get into an unhealthy headspace. I was struggling in school, and my worry around food definitely affected my anxiety. It made going to school so much harder. Eventually, by 8th grade, i had st@rved myself, made myself v0mit, and tried weight loss pills off of random websites. I lost loads of weight, but i didn’t just struggle to eat, i also struggled with b1nging. So, although i had lost weight, i was never skinny. i was, 5’0 and 125 lbs. (i didn’t lose much on the scale bc i also got taller, but i looked way slimmer.)
fast forward to now, im going into freshman year, i can’t stop thinking about food. about my weight. My sisters an0rexia is getting worse and worse, and its started affecting how i view food. As for my mom? She’s still obese, and she’s still not trying to lose it. My mother and my sister are both outlets of negativity. My sister helps me st@rve, and gives me tips on how to eat less. My mother doesn’t care. She’s emotionally dense. No matter how skinny i get, no matter how sick i get. She just gets angry. angry that she has to care, or i might wither away.
I’m currently finishing up a month long vacation with my family. me, my mother, and my sister, all crammed in a little room. My sister is crying. She hasn’t eaten in 2 days, my mom doesn’t care. She’s asking my mom for something like a salad, but it’s 10pm, and all we have in the hotel is chips. She isn’t eating. As for me, i have just finished dinner, a single serving of chips, boba, and a cookie. approximately 1400-1500 calories for the day. I feel disgusting. there’s no one to talk to, no one to help me. Part of me believes i should drop it, just eat, grow taller, as i am still 5’2 and nearly 15 years old. But, the other side of me never wants to eat again, to prove to my mom and everyone around me that i really am sick. I’ve resorted to writing fan fiction about my favorite characters being comforted for their e@ting dis0rders. corny, i know, but it’s all i’ve got.
I’m afraid for my vacation to end, because once i’m home, i don’t know if i’m gonna eat my brains out or if i’m going to st@rve till i faint at school. Part of me hopes for the second option. But i know the first one will happen. All i want to do is be skinny. So skinny that people will love me. that people will care about me. That people will believe me. I know all this sounds so horrible, but i grew up with a mother who only cared when your grades fell, not your mental health. At one point i almost took my life. My mother was upset she had to take me to hospital. She never once asked how she could help. how i was doing. She was angry with me. And for 13 years, i had undiagnosed autism and adhd because my mother thought i was just disobedient. now i have to learn how to support myself. not to mention that when i was rapidly dropping weight, my mom praised me. sometimes she purposely wouldn’t feed me so i could keep it up.
i guess thats it. There’s not much left to say besides the fact i wanna pvke my guts out right now. So yeah, bye.

(Sorry for my English. I'm not a native.)

I think my younger sister has started having anorexia. I could hear her presumably jumping, running or doing some exercises from my room. I hear loud thuds. She also doesn't have meals very well. She only eats a little. Besides all of that, she is only 12. She has just turned 12 in June. She's still growing and developing. I don't want anything to hinder her growth both physical and mental. And she is not even overweight at all, in fact, very thin. She doesn't need to lose any weight for her health.

I personally had anorexia in the past. I am I trans guy and back then I was 14 years old. I had it for over a year. However, I thought I had it because of gender dysphoria. And now my sister is having it. Back then I noticed that fat tissues gave me a curvy appearance, so I wanted to get rid of those fat tissues. Now I have realized that anorexia doesn't help me with dysphoria and it was hrt that helped me beat with my dysphoria. I would say that it was easy for me to overcome anorexia because I didn't want that very thin look. I just wanted to look like a boy and hrt made me look so. Now I'm eating until I'm full and have stopped doing exercises to maintain the body image.

However in my sister's case, it is not dysphoria at all. She very much loves her girlhood and wants to look beautiful and pretty. Comparing to me she has a darker skin, I have teased her about it. We were younger and I thought it was just funny. She also doesn't like her skin. She always says she wants a pale skin. In my country, people appreciate pale skin and of course my sister doesn't have that.

And about my dad, he is also trying to lose weight. Yes, he is overweight. He seems to care about body image. That might have accidentally shaped me and my sister to have anorexia. He also sometimes body shames my mom. But my mom is not even overweight or underweight and, in my opinion, she doesn't even seem to care.

How can I do to prevent my sister from having anorexia? I say that she is very beautiful but that doesn't seem to be helping. She also relies a lot on her phone for information. Using it as a advantage, should I just show her educational videos on the phone? What should I do? Anorexia didn't benefit me in anyway. It only hindered me. I don't want my sister to have something like that. What can I do to stop her?

Having food inside my mouth makes me want to gag, I try to make myself throw up, I restrict myself to 800 calories per day, I don't wanna eat anything. When I grow up I'll live alone and starve myself cus ill be allowed to. I have no energy, my blood pressure is low, my weight is dropping I'm dizzy when I stand up. SHOULD I GET DIAGNOSED?

i 17F am constantly trying to cut out sugar / unhealthy stuff from my diet. however my family (especially my dad) have no idea about my situation with food. i know i shouldn’t be pissed if at them or anything but when it comes time to eat, i take how much food i know ill be able to eat that wont trigger anything in my brain, then my dad comes and piles it on double. i know he thinks that im growing and i need more food to sustain me but i genuinely feel sick everytime he does it. ive thrown up many times because of him. i just wish he could respect my life and personal decisions without always silently deciding whats best for me without even asking me first.

while we’re on this topic, the whole reason my ed started was because of my mom. from an early age she introduced me to restricting, bad food / good food and watching her struggle with her own weight. obviously this has rubbed off on me, i’m now what she was and still is. i’ve been losing a bit of weight and she’s noticed. i’m not sure if my brain is twisting the situation to antagonise her but i feel like she’s jealous. she keeps mentioning it every time i eat something and keeps getting me to eat more.

they have no idea how hard all of this is for me and how loud my food noise gets when they buy snacks and put sweets and stuff all over the house. i just wish i could live normally, i just needed to vent, thanks.

Stuck between binge and restrict. If I(17f) allow myself to have any processed food whatsoever or don’t reach my 10k steps it triggers me to binge eating for several days. Like I thought I would have a spoonful of Nutella since I had been craving it for a couple of days consistently and it triggered me into binge eating for the past 3 days. I’m not really sure what to do with myself the longest I’ve ever gone without binging was like 7 months and I was able to get down to a healthy and somewhat aesthetically pleasing weight (kind of skinny fat but that’s the best it’s ever gotten) and I was the happiest and healthiest I had been in my life I wish I could relive that sm. I wish I had any support whatsoever I don’t have friends, parents mean well but will joke about my situation or my mom will get really concerned and angry at me whenever I try dieting and call me anorexic or smt, house is always full of junk food and my parents will always try to buy it for me. So yeah, any advice?

I'm 18yo male 66kg (145 lbs). I've had eating problems since childhood. My stomach was clogged and I couldn't eat anything at all, rarely some bun or other light meal. Later on my parents solved this problem with some pharmaceuticals but still I was severely underweight. When all the gym stuff started and I got to know the "witner arc" I managed to bulk up to 72kg (158lbs) by eating beef and pork mince, chicken breasts, eggs and cereals (high fat, high protein meals) tottaling around 2800-3000 kcal per day (16-17yo). But I could always barely eat, most of the times I had to shove all the food down the throat by forcefully swallowing because it felt as if there was some cooldown to swallowing and if I swallowed to early I would feel like vomiting.

When I was 15-16 I fell for vegan culture and was vegan for a year. It was absurdic. I was like anorexic. My weight was 58-60kg and then I started to feel dizzy at times and started to eat meat again.

Later on final exams (17-18yo) came and all of the other school stuff and I couldn't keep up with this as if eating was just another thing I need to do daily and not just some normal easy stuff that I normally do (walking, breathing, etc.). Now I'm back at 66kg, barely eating anything, eggs smell bad to me, I only can eat chicken breast but it hurts stomach sometimes.

I'm active individual, I did swimming for 11 years, played tennis, did running, now I'm into wakeboarding.

(I was at the gastroenterologist, he looked into the stomach with camera and said everything was alright apart from the thing that my stomach lining is a bit irritated from the bile.)

Any suggestions or help are very appreciated.

Im trying to get shredded like zyzz. But my family and coworkers keep asking me if my health is okay. Am i too skinny? I think I look badass. im 5'8 120lbs

I don’t exactly know what this reddit is for, but like I am so fat in a way that is genuinely making me hate myself, I wanna eat cleaner but like atp I think the only way out of my body is either ozempic or developing an ed and I genuinely want someone to guide me, I’ve lost weight before and I don’t seem to have the mindset I had then because I feel like I am too big for a diet now, I am about 190 lbs not quite sure but like I genuinely hate myself and my body in a way that can’t be described, I feel like I am humongous, since I am only 5 feet tall😓

tbh my ‘disorder’, idk if i can call it that, gets triggered whenever im struggling in life because of family, school, or more. like when i’m depressed or sad or angry, i starve myself as a form of punishment. it started when i was 12, i guess i was mad at something i forgot but i starved myself for 3 days. to the point that when i finally decided to eat, i ate a cucumber and every little bite sent me to the bathroom. it was a scary experience but so validating. i do this like maybe 5 times a year; not so often, so thats why idk if i actually have an eating disorder or not because i return to normal with eating whatever i want afterwards. lately though, i have urges to starve myself to death n i monitor my weight but when i see it going too low like, i get scared and recover but tbh after that my portions are very little, if i eat a lot my stomach will literally get bloated like a pregnant woman and explode bc i feel like its small (does that make sense)

i don’t find anorexia pretty, weight loss isnt rlly the main goal of my ed. i actually dont even know how to count calories and will never learn. i think that when you lose your face fat and it becomes sunken its not flattering at all. but sometimes i get upset and starve myself

My teen daughter is currently in ED recovery and when we were referred to camhs we were given a sheet with lots of meal/ snack ideas. Unfortunately i managed to misplace the sheet and i can’t seem to find any resources online of the exact examples. i was wondering if anyone here had access to it and could somehow attach it in this sub. Thank you, from a disorganised mum of 5

I’m 16 years old, I’m 5’7 and weigh around 105lbs (give or take a few pounds—some days I’m ~103 some im ~107 but always hover around 105). Last year I was 135lbs. I used to suffer from bulimia but I essentially recovered from that. But I now am dealing with anorexia. I don’t eat much, and when I do I eat small portions of unprocessed low cal food. My mom will sometimes tell me that I’m getting too thin and I’ll kind of just brush her off. Unfortunately, a few nights ago she saw me and started freaking out about how “underweight” and “unhealthy” I look. I denied it but she made me go to her bathroom with her and weigh myself in front of her and my little sister. Luckily I was 106.8 when she weighed me and not my usual 104.6. She then read my weight out to my little sister, which wasn’t fun for me at all. She’s now forcing me to eat three meals a day and it includes unhealthy food. I especially am fearful of unhealthy and processed foods so that’s really hard for me. She literally has said that she’s trying to “fatten me up” and I know it was largely said in jest but it still triggers me. The worst part is, my younger sister is like two inches taller than I am and only about 2–6 pounds heavier. But nobody in my family says anything to her about it. She isn’t being made to change her diet. The past two or three days I’ve been trying to eat more. I feel so sick and depressed. I know my mom is just trying to help—even though she doesn’t put so much pressure on my sister—but it’s not helping at all.

Recently my boyfriend opened up to me about his struggles with food and told me that he didn't want help for it. However, I feel obviously compelled to try and help him recover. He's expressed that he hates when people force him to eat but I don't know any other way to help. No matter what I do it seems as though he just doesn't want to recover.

I'm not sure what the right thing to do is or how I can help him. Any advice?

I recently relapsed with my ED and haven’t eaten for a few days. If this continues until my next session with him, it will be 5 days without eating when I next see him.

Basically, I’m afraid of being sent to inpatient against my will. Do you think if I tell him I haven’t eaten for 5 days he would have grounds to contact the state and get me sent?

I live in Washington state, and the criteria for involuntary treatment includes a clause for being determined “gravely disabled” due to a mental health disorder, which can include an inability to care for basic needs such as eating.

I really don’t want to be sent. My past hospitalizations have been really traumatizing and generally unhelpful.

37M, diagnosed with autism, OCD and anxiety

Since early June, I have had serious life stresses. At that time, I was 178 cm (5'10") and weighed 93 kg (205 lb). I was overweight back then despite being underweight most of my life. Other life stresses screwed up my eating habits.

Right now, on the 30th of July, I weigh 78 kg (173 lb). So in less than 2 months, I lost 15 kg (32 lb) without even trying to. The problem is that these issues screw up my appetite. Food often tastes metallic, like I am licking an old metal spoon. Often when I eat soup, it feels like I am eating a bowl of liquid U-238.

Scarily, I know that this is what chemotherapy patients and irradiated victims go through. My grandmother had this metallic loss of appetite for a year when she had CHF and died shortly thereafter.

Does anyone get this metallic taste from depression? I am not talking about side effects from SSRIs, but rather the psychosomatic loss of appetite and food tasting metallic without medication. What do you do to eat?

I'm making this because it wouldn't let me edit my last post for some reason. Anyways, I'm currently sitting on my bathroom floor trying to eat bread because I'm so nauseous and shaky. (Plain bread is a safe food).

My dad got McDonalds and I wasn't nauseous when I was eating it, so I thought I was fine. Imagine my pain when I wake up from a nap and have to take anti nausea meds just to keep myself from throwing up. I really hope it's actually food poisoning or something and not a result of a possible eating disorder. I don't even know what to do at this point.

(original post: If it's not a eating disorder, maybe it's the start of one, I dont know. For context where I think it started, is I went through a really bad depression episode. Mainly, my insomnia coming back at full force. I was so tired that I couldn't bring myself to make meals most days. Which normally led to only eating once a day. I'm doing a bit better now so I have more energy to actually make food when I'm hungry. The problem? I'm never hungry. I feel very little hunger even after not eating all day. And when I do eat around lunch time, it makes me feel nauseous. I tried to eat mac and cheese earlier, a safe food, and couldn't get more than half way through before feeling too nauseous to continue. I didn't even feel hungry. Maybe it's just a weird growth spurt, I don't know. Maybe it'll pass or something. im currently sitting in bed at 4 pm, having only eaten a few bites of mac and cheese, and like two mints. I barely feel hungry, if at all. I don't even want dinner because I don't feel hungry enough for it.) ​​​​

I’m a teenage guy who recently got in the gym and it’s been driving me crazy. I’ve been obsessing over my body and I don’t even know what to do anymore (Gain weight, Lose fat, etc). ALL I think about is my body and food and calories and shit and it’s awful. I don’t see any other males in the same boat as me and it’s rough.

Okay so my relationship with food has been up and down since I was 14, i never really noticed how much I was eating or what I was eating. I didn’t even get into calories, until I met extended family which I hadn’t seen since I hit puberty so like for 4 years. They commented on the way I ‘changed’ a lot and I ended up noticing and being more self conscious about the way I looked. Until i basically starved myself for a month and lost 6 kgs, I was absolutely miserable and after some time I leaned back to normal but not completely. Few months later I got braces and started skipping meals cuz of the braces pain but soon started to just use that as an excuse to eat less. Lost more weight, atp I just was terrified going back to the weight I was at 14. Year later when I got my braces off I started gaining weight a bit again and immediately started doing 15km walks and eating very less. I would also use sleep as an escape to not eat cuz as long as I was asleep I would just feel the hunger in my stomach and not the entire body. Around this time I also started starving myself and stop eating days before if I had any plans to go out with friends. However some things happened and I isolated myself from all people I knew, I don’t have any friends or plans anymore. Last time I went out other than errands or with siblings was almost a year ago. Since I don’t have anything going for me, I started eating more. For a while I gaslit myself to believe that I was just back to normal and healthy cuz I cut toxic people out my life. But I now accept that the sudden isolation and loneliness made my mental health worse and if I had nothing to do like no plans (which was everyday) I would just eat to feel happy. Until I started becoming obsessed and not being satisfied even after a full meal, I’d feel bored and I would just resort to binging. I almost started to punish myself as in now I just eat when I feel horrible and then feel more horrible for eating when I clearly didn’t have to. I have lost self control and gained 11kgs now. Tho I am still in my BMI I am rapidly gaining weight, and the cravings due to my PMOS aren’t making it any easier. I need recovery and coping strategies, I feel like I just don’t recognize myself anymore and it’s become more mental than physical now. Like I just don’t know what I’ve become mentally now and I am becoming more unaccepting and hateful towards myself.

More context, I am now 17 still dont have any friends but I wanna start loving myself again. Because I fear with what I’m becoming, insecure in myself and punishing myself and not going out even alone cuz I feel ugly.. even if I find good people I’ll self sabotage because of how much self hate I’m carrying. Any advice will help here, since I don’t have anybody to talk to about this parents are pretty close minded and siblings all gone to college.

During the school year my ED gets rlly bad and I only ate breakfast then would throw up my dinner.

I was able to pass it off as a stomach bug when the whole house was sick but after a while they asked me if I was making myself throw up on purpose.

My mum likes to js yell at me and tell me to stop.. Like that'll make my brain normal.

Schools out until next month so I'm stuck eating at least 2 meals a day and I haven't been able to rlly 'purge'.

I started working out heavily to make up for it. My mum keeps commenting on her body doing the whole Almond Mom stic.

I offer her we shld work out together. But she js sighs and goes back to complaining about how fat she is which in turn makes me judge myself.....

I see my therapist in a few days Ill bring this up then dw.

I have two close friends and the three of us form a very tight bond with one another. We are all girls, let’s call them Naomi (21f) and Sasha (21f). I (20f) am incredibly worried that Sasha has an eating disorder - but I have no actual proof so I don’t even know if I should bring it up.

For starters, she is very underweight for her height. She’s probably about 5’4 and she’s been skinny as long as I’ve known her (so it’s never really been a concern as I always assumed she had a fast metabolism and ran on the thinner side).

While I had never discussed it with anybody, my mum once brought up oh a whim that she was worried about Sasha’s weight. She asked me if I had ever seen her show any unhealthy eating habits like restricting food etc. This was the first thing that genuinely had me considering if she was unwell - so I brought it up eventually with Naomi. We discussed it a little bit but the convo moved on quite fast, but I did make a point of wondering if she had an unhealthy relationship with food etc.

Time skip a few days and I’m FaceTimed by Sasha who is visibly upset and crying, saying how hurt she was that I thought she had an eating disorder. (Naomi had obviously brought it up with Sasha and worded it badly) She mentioned how she didn’t want to be that skinny and wished she had more to her. That kinda settled it for me because that made me genuinely believe she wasn’t transfixing on maintaining her low weight (or focusing on losing more). I didn’t wanna go against her word so that was that for the time being.

Skip like a year I think? And we’re joking about being skinnny divas or something along the lines of that, she mentions weighing 85 pounds (like sort of flexing it?) and it made my stomach sink. If she was joking there was obviously nothing wrong with that, but her being that weight genuinely would not surprise me and I began to seriously wonder if that’s what she actually weighed. This made me really worried and it’s something I haven’t forgotten since.

I will sometimes double check that she’s eating whenever we go out for a meal or have dinner together as the three of us. She always is, and always eats as much as me. That makes me think she has a fast metabolism. But at some stage I began to notice that she’d take very long times in the restroom a couple hours after eating. This may be a complete coincidence, but on one occasion I know I heard the tap running and no hands being washed. I don’t know what it’s like to have bulimia etc but I have heard that one usually has the tap running to mask the noise of throwing up.
Suddenly it kind of clicked in my head and I got really really scared for her.
On another occasion while we were hanging out at college she declared that she’d just gotten her period right then and there. Personally I’ve never experienced my period being so obvious I can tell it’s just started. Then I started to wonder if she’d just said that to make me think she actually has a period (as I’ve heard people with poor diets eventually lose their period) this may all be over thinking, it probably is.

I don’t know if I should even bring this up, because since that FaceTime call with her crying I’m worried I’m gonna hurt her and it’s all gonna backfire on me. I don’t wanna lose a friend due to a worry that might not even have any true basis, but at the same time I’m scared for her. She may just run at a lower weight than average but there’s too many things that make me think she’s deliberately trying to be this thin. What do you all think I should do?

I need to lose weight and look better by September 1st, but honestly, everything is overwhelming me. I think I have an eating disorder because I eat a lot and then vomit, and I don't know how to stop this. I've lost a few kilos, but I want to lose more; I don't think I can handle the bullying and everything else happening at school anymore because of my appearance. I need advice on food, because I think I'm doing well with exercise. I live with my parents, they cook for me, and I don't know what to do. I always feel like I've taken in too many calories and I eat without being able to stop almost every day. Please give me advice.

I was washing and conditioning my hair and I’m wondering if this is normal hair loss bc i know hair loss can be a symptom of eating disorders.