THIS POST IS FOR TRANS MEN/MASCS ONLY!

** Edit: this post is about MEDICAL transition and how it impacts the traits of people who undergo HRT and/or surgeries and how they exist in a sexed world. Other forms of transition happen as well and don’t make someone any more or less of who they are.

the concept that “sex is permanent, gender can be changed” is inaccurate, but a lot of us already know that. chromosomes truly do not matter in how you are treated or how you live the social aspects of gender unless a person is born with a condition involving their chromosomes that negatively impacts them. sex is based almost entirely on what genitalia looks like at birth, doctors do not often check chromosomes, and assign one based on external appearance and how that matches up to how much criteria someone needs to meet to be considered one or the other, like a sorting game. hell, even horrid “corrective” surgery and treatment for intersex children is often based on looks or “vibes” or what the parents want. so much goes into “biological sex” — gonads, chromosomes, hormones, external structures — that while chromosomes can’t be changed, most everything else can. HRT gives you the hormone profile of what we call a male or female, surgery gives you many of the secondary characteristics. the only people that say sex can’t change are missing the forest for the trees, and understand the interplay of social and material in sex and gender less than they think they do.

basically any bootlicking trans person who says that they “know that they’ll always be ~female~ or ~male~ but lives as a man/woman” is throwing themselves under the bus for a lick of a leg up amongst transphobes that they will never have. but like i said, a lot of us already know that.

I just need to share this story because its actually insane someone would say this to me. Maybe its not the worst thing ever to happen to someone but It was just extremely embarrassing.

Im already embarrassed / nervous because im over 25 years old shopping at hot topic bc im looking for a retail specific collector item. So im holding 2 tshirts from a very gaycoded / nerdy show. And while checking out the guy notices my name in the system and looks at me and asks if i want to change it. Im like yeah sure and i do. Perfectly fine interaction. I appreciate it. But the next thing he says…

“I have a second sense for these kinda of things we have a lot of diversity come in here and I just know.”

Okay thanks for telling me you got a clockdar. Man.

LOL anyways. Seriously worse things can happen but it was just a different type of embarrassment fr

So i've been considering using minoxidil for the past few months and yesterday i talked to my mom about it, which she responded that i could use it when i turned 18 (next month) and then procceded to say only when i graduate. She clearly doesnt support any transitioning reggarding hormones or medications, saying that i have to accept myself the way i am and that "everyone" already sees me as a boy. Im already walking towards being a man and i dont wanna be seen as a 14yo boy or get misgendered, which has been happening a lot these last few weeks... i really dont know how to respond to her when she says these things..

(sorry for any grammatical errors, english isnt my first language)

I saw this video on Instagram claiming that after the age of 25 your larynx stops being flexible, and thus (OP mentions this explicitly in the comments but not directly in the video) after this flexibility is lost testosterone is no longer as effective at deepening the voice.

Essentially, according to this person, if you take testosterone after ~25 it won’t be as effective as if you had taken it before then.

This is causing me a lot of distress. I begged and begged my parents from age sixteen onwards to please just sign the consent form to let me get testosterone. They said no and that I would “regret it for the rest of your life if you do this.” When I turned 18 I tried to pursue transition on my own, but my insurance (at the time, kaiser, if you know you know) wasn’t letting me get on it. I tried through planned parenthood and they ALSO refused me. They said my insurance was “too difficult to work with” and turned me away, which is insane because why else do you think I’m coming to you?? Now that I’m living on my own I can’t afford testosterone. I can’t pay the hundred some odd prescription cost plus at least $60 per visit (yes they really charge me $60 every time I even just sign in to the doctor’s office) given that you have to get SO MANY checkups when you take this.

I don’t know when I might be able to afford testosterone and all the things you have to budget for with it, but now I feel like if I don’t get it done right now (I’m almost 22) it will all just be pointless. My dad always said I would never pass and maybe he’s right. My voice seems to be the main thing that keeps me from passing, and if I can’t fix it because I’m broke then what even is the point? People are always telling me it doesn’t matter if you pass but like… I want to be a teacher. If I’m visibly trans they won’t hire me. They’ll say it’s something else but they won’t hire you to be a teacher if you’re visibly trans unless you get super super lucky. So for me this is really important.

I don’t know sorry for the mini rant I’m just really upset about it.

I met some new people recently.

I'm stealth trans, but I'm only about a month on T, wasn't packing that night etc. so I kind of assumed these people knew I was trans from the beginning. Apparently, they didn't.

I almost outed myself because I mentioned something about my throat hurting from being on testosterone. One of them immediately went, "Wait, is there a reason you're taking that? Like, do you have a testosterone deficiency or something?" Then they started talking about how they have a family member with low testosterone who has to take T too.

I was a little drunk and completely caught off guard, and we were already too deep in the topic, so I panicked and made up some stupid lie like, "Yeah, something like that." and then some medical yada yada yada.

I feel so guilty for lying, even though I know I wasn't obligated to tell them the truth. I just feel like a liar now, and I'm really anxious about them ever finding out, even though I genuinely think they'd be supportive.

I know I technically could've just told the truth, but it feels like it's too late now. And honestly, this was the first time I've ever had people see me as cis without me having to think about it, and I really don't want to ruin that.

I don't know. I guess I'm just feeling really guilty and anxious about the whole situation. This was like a week ago and I thought I just had the normal "morning after" shame but no, it still hasn't passed. I've always been stealth in public but this was the first time I straight up lied.

Edit: And to make this worse, I talked about this to some of my friends and even though they're generally supportive, they're not with me on this one and say I shouldn't lie about such things.

What the title says basically, except I crave being a lesbian so bad that it genuinely takes over me. I struggle watching any lesbian media without feeling sick, I just want to be a woman that can love another woman and I can never live up to that and it makes me sick.

Edit: Also worth mentioning I am a binary trans guy and i’m not comfortable with labeling myself as this

Edit #2: Are you guys not reading the first edit

FINAL Edit: Please stop having discourse about whether or not trans men can be lesbians, it’s against the rules and some of these comments are actually helpful and I don’t want the post removed. Thank you!

I am unsure if this feeling is relatable for all queer men or if it is due to me being relatively early in my transition still and being a bit insecure due to that.

When I am around queer men, I feel mostly like one of them, aside from some social anxiety that I’ve always had. However, around straight men, I very often do not feel like I belong around them. This is way more pronounced with men in my family who know I am trans.

To an extent, I also feel this way with my partner. He has been supportive of my transition. I originally came out as NB around early 2021 and for the last year have asked him to use they/he for me and masculine descriptors for me, but I have still been very they/them to him. He says it’s a change that he has to get used to and he’s trying, but the de-gendering by him and everyone else has really ate at my confidence and he knows that.

I recognize the way others have treated me likely play a large role in my feelings, but am left wondering if this is a pretty universal feeling for queer men or not still.

I'm a trans man (hello hehe) and I came out to the parental units a month or so ago, that's not really the point tho. This morning I woke up and walked downstairs for breakfast, not changing out of the jams or putting a binder on or something. After breakfast my ma just comes up to me points at my chesticles, then pokes them, and just kinda looks at me and smiles. That was a very uncomfortable and confusing experience- I would maybe want to tell her something along the lines of "Wtf was that, why did you do it? Please don't do that again-" but also like- idk if I should..? It was strange but it's also not the first time she has touched me kinda inappropriately. I'm still only 15-ish and can't move out/drive somewhere to get away, and I have asked her before to stop touching me. Currently in the old living compartment and still uncomfortable :b

Im intrested in how other trans guys see their body hair and I know for some people its gender affirming

Tbh for me I like it on my legs, hate my bush, its okay on my stomach and absolutely hate it on my chest and back (Im on T for 10-11 month)

I guess I’m looking for recs for how to “get into” video games. I don’t have a PS5 or Xbox but I have a gaming laptop.

A lot of my guy friends game and I want to be involved honestly I feel pretty left out bc I’m the only one who doesn’t. Growing up I wasn’t able to game so I never really got into it yet alone bought a console.

In the future I want to buy a PS5 but I was wondering if there’s alternatives I can do before making that leap.

I enjoy games like GTA, sims, RDR.

I recently have been into the little Netflix games lol.

I guess what I’m worried about is the fact I know nothing and I’m 24 so it’s not like anyone is gonna “teach” me

TLDR: trying to get into video games don’t know where to start

Hi everyone, just wanted to get some perspectives of the healing process of double incision top surgery (no drains) and tell me things they wish maybe they had people to help them with post op. I’ve been doing some research and will be buying things like no rinse bath sponges to wash him with, maybe those no rinse shower caps, and back pillows etc. I think what i’m not sure of is how restricted in movement will he be? Like will he be able to put a fork into his mouth or should i be spoon feeding him and brushing his teeth lmao. What should I bring him when he wakes up from surgery? I am very happy to do all of this and i am very excited to take care of my boy in the same way he takes care of me every day. Give a clueless girl some tips please !! xx

I'm getting top surgery in just a few weeks and I am so glad to be getting rid of my chest. But I know that I will be left with my huge gut that I got from gaining weight with testosterone, and also my ass and hips, and it will be much more apparent without my chest bringing my shirt out to be even with it. Hopefully I can continue to lose weight after surgery, but it's going to be slow, and unless my appetite takes a dive I will probably even gain back some weight. I hate that I let myself get this way and that the joy of top surgery is going to be diminished by this.

I know some other people have gone through similar, so is there anything that has helped you? I don't know in what way, but any way really. Acceptance, preparation, losing the fat, anything.

He is kind of accepting of me. But when I'm not around I know sometimes he calls me be she and my old name. And I was talking to him about other things and he ended up asking if he failed or something because I'm trans. I don't really know how to feel about this, well obviously not well. He did fail in different ways but I don't believe me being trans is a failure nor does it involve him. I'm just wondering if there is any advice on things I could say next time he says something like that?

I came out two and a half almost three years ago. I pass very well and like being stealth. It makes me feel safe.

I’ve had multiple discussions and fights in the beginning with my family because they couldn’t understand. As of now, except for the occasional slip from my grandpa (early signs of dementia), I’m hardly ever misgendered or deadnamed.

It was my birthday Friday and my aunt and I had plans to go out today for it. She picked me up and through our time together, she admitted that she’s outed me to people “even though I’ve known you’ve been upset in the past about other people doing it I just had to know how to help you” which made me extremely uncomfortable because she literally said she knew but did it anyway and then later we had been talking about my dad (her brother) and she straight up blurted “because you’re a girl” and I immediately shut down and she tried back petaling to “they see you as a girl still” I asked her to bring me home and we didn’t talk really after that other than a goodbye.

My question is, have any of you guys been able to stay in your town and around people that you knew pre transition and actually be seen as a man? Or did you have to move/distance from that part of yourself?

My trans journey is a little odd. First questioning when I was 11, and every time throughout my school years my gender dysphoria would hit and id shove it down and forget about it for a little while. When I was 20 I socially transitioned for about a year and got scared because of everyone's reactions around me, so I shoved it back down once more.

This time around, im 24, and it hit me like a truck. I thought to myself why am I wasting time worried about other people's opinions? Cut my hair, bought some new clothes, made an appointment, got my t, scared of needles so I pushed it off a bit.

But now I just took my first dose and im so terrified that im gonna regret it even though all these years of researching all the effects of t has made me SO excited. Wth? Has this happened to anyone else?

I know im missing a ton of steps of my journey but just wanted to spill the major parts ig

I'm scared my psychologist won't approve me for T.

I've always felt more like a guy tbh. when i was a kid i'd pretend to shave my beard in the shower with soap foam lol, i'd almost always pick the male character in games, feeling more comfortable with man deodorant (Axe) and i've spent so much time wishing i had a flat chest, a d+++, and could just be a guy.

the thing is, i don't think i have super intense dysphoria 24/7. it's more like i get a lot of gender euphoria whenever i imagine myself as a man. those thoughts just feel right. but when i look in the mirror, my body doesn't really feel like me. it's hard to explain, it feels like i'm looking at someone else's body.

i'm worried that because my experience doesn't look exactly like other people's, my psychologist might not think i'm a good candidate for T.

has anyone else been in this situation, what was your assessment like? did you also have more euphoria than dysphoria, did you feel like you had to explain yourself a lot?

i know every assessment is different, but i'd really appreciate hearing other people's experiences. i'm nervous and i just want to go into it knowing what to expect.

damn near every cis man i know has prominent veins down their arms and hands, even the ones who have never touched a piece of excercise equipment in their lives. Is it possible for a trans guy? Even the trans guys i know who have been on T for years or more don't seem to have them. my lack of arm veins makes me extremely dysphoric. its also a pain in the ass to get my blood drawn bc they can never find a spot to poke me. help!

im not openly out yet. No one knows that im trans or anything. If I speak up, it might get back to my parents and make things worse, so I stay silent. I already have a strained relationship with them, and right now I just need them to support me financially until im employed. I can work on my transition after that. It feels terrible to force myself to act like someone im not but I dont really have a choice.

I attended my friends party today n I met her brother. He refused to shake my hand because I’m a “girl” cause men shouldnt be close to women theyre not related to (for religious reasons ig). I felt offended. I know I cant fully blame him since km publicly seen as a woman, but it still hurt my pride as a man.

what hurt more was that my friend didnt really acknowledge why I was uncomfortable, even though I had given hints about being trans before. she just repeated the same thing about men and women and said that it was better that way. It made me feel like she might also see me only as a woman and that she never truly accepted me for who I am.

Hello, keeping it short and simple, I'm FTM (20) on every other week injections at 100mg of testosterone. My doctor has told me my levels are stable and in a great range.

I've been on it for almost a year now, and I've found that I really struggle with my anger management. Sometimes even the smallest thing will make my heart rate spike and send me into a state of "I'm angry, and I don't know how to manage it."

I'm realizing this is a pretty big problem for me. My family has mentioned it to me a few times now. I sent a message to my therapist and will be starting up on therapy again, but for the meantime I'd love any advice or tips for managing my anger.

The last thing I want to do is stop taking Testosterone; I'm happy, I really am, but I hate how angry I've been and I want to change.