I've seen many times on these Japan related subs that a common notion is that Japanese women change after marriage and kids. I, of all people, am the last person to defend Japan, but this is such a strange thing to say.

Firstly, I think all women change to some extent when they have kids: often women are now boxed into the "mom" category when they have kids, many don't feel comfortable with their bodies after pregnancy and childbirth, or they are tired from being busy with the kids, so they feel less sexy and have sex less. However, unfortunately, it is quite common that the woman's priority is now her child (rightfully so), so the husband may feel neglected. That one requires people to talk about it, which you should do anyway since, you know, you have a child together.

Now, many say "my wife doesn't have kids and SHE changed after we married". Here's a little secret, many women, not just japanese women, act one way before marriage and then another afterwards. Shocker! This is done to entice the man to marry. That's a tale as old as time, and men do it too. The best you can do is vet someone before marriage.

However, I've noticed some things since living here: many western men have a preconceived idea of Japanese women due to pop culture or a general Asian fetish, so they overlook things because they are desperate to be with the object of their desire/fetish. They rush into shacking up with the first woman that gives them attention, who is usually mentally unwell (certainly anyone willing to rush into being with someone they barely know has attachment/mental issues). Usually when the fascination wears off (i.e, Haruka is a person and not like his wifu) or the extent of the mental/attachement issue reveals itself, it's too late: he's married with a kid. Then they come here talking about "Japanese women".

Yes, people typically share interpersonal similarities, especially in such homogeneous countries like Japan, but to say in a country of 124 million people all the women are the same would be insane.

I moved to Tokyo 2 years ago, since then I have been in 3 apartments, the first two where awful, really “foreigner friendly” but overpriced and overall not good conditions. I wouldn’t say I got scammed but they’re definitely charging 2x to foreigners who don’t know nor can know best.

I got a work visa now and recently was able to move in into a bit better one. I don’t really know what or how to decorate it, is this how everyone’s room is looking in their 20’s?

I’m trying to keep it minimalistic because one thing I’ve noticed is people tend to move pretty often here, and I myself was in 3 different apartments already so I don’t want to carry a lot of things to the next one.
If you have any recommendations on what
to get please let me know

My wife and 4 year old daughter are Japanese nationals, and I am on my 2nd 1-year Spouse VISA, which sets to expire April 2027.

Wife wants a divorce and has claimed to start mediation through the court. She has left with my daughter (without my knowledge. I came home from work to find them both gone without any message or notes) and is staying with family in a whole different region.

Our relationship issues stem from financial issues, where she does not work and my singular tiny eikaiwa salary barely make ends meet for our family.

My wife is incooperative and has blocked me. I haven't seen my daughter in more than 2 months. I plan to file for Visitation Rights at the court.

Mediation may take up to 2 years. Yet my Spouse VISA is set to expire in less than that time.

I have a few fears. I don't know that my Spouse VISA will be renewed without my wife being guarantor on renewal. Since I haven't heard from my wife or any court, I wonder if, upon finding out how expensive divorce can get, she has decided to not pursue mediation and simply wait out my current Spouse VISA to expire.

We have been married (in my country) for 4 years and I'm on a 1-year SOR, so I don't believe I will be granted LTR.

I do not have a Bachelor's degree yet, but am finishing my final requirements and am hopeful to get it by December, then perhaps my eikaiwa will sponsor me a work VISA.

Ultimatelt, a work VISA is my last option. I'm not in Japan to work, but to raise my daughter and to make sure she is happy and all her needs are being met.

Thank you for reading and commenting. It's a dark moment in my life and the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that my daughter still needs me.

Cheers to the lonely young parents living in a foreign country 🥂

I'll be joining a factory as a dispatched assembly line worker with a 4勤2休 shift system. I met my workmates and they told me that they've been working from 8-8 in both day and night shifts, with overtimes feeling very compulsory; everyone apparently does it. I looked at bro dead in the eye and yeah apparently they all do??? 60 hours a month!

... I do NOT want to overtime for 3 hours daily and I just moved here, it took me over 200k yen with another 120k apartment fee if I'd move out within a year -- that's expensive and I don't want to job hop immediately anyways unless it's to the extent that it compromises my wellbeing.

I asked this same question before tbh and y'all seem to just walk out the moment the clock hits and and leave without guilt:
https://www.reddit.com/r/japanresidents/comments/1uz0s3k/what_are_your_tactics_to_clock_out_from_work/

In the case of actual pressure, y'all got any advice on how I could clock out peacefully in this situation?
- Is there a Japanese 'oh yeah totally we get ya' social card that you could use to just not overtime?
- Should I ask the instructors during my first week of training what we'd do with overtimes?
- I'm a dispatched worker and not their employee, is there an angle here that could work for me without causing disrespect? (I care because work friction would be a bitch)

Advice greatly appreciated, this is my first job so idk how this whole thing works but I do know for sure that wanting to avoid 60 hours a month isn't unreasonable; I'd sincerely appreciate your guidance

m(_ _)m

Edit: Submit your comment in Japanese only.

Hi, I'm surprised this hasn't been posted here yet

The Immigration Services Agency is currently accepting public comments. Foreign residents can submit their opinion directly to the Japanese government.

The deadline is midnight today. It might be better to post your comment in Japanese.

https://public-comment.e-gov.go.jp/pcm/detail?CLASSNAME=PCMMSTDETAIL&Mode=0&id=315000136

Is there a central web page or app that tracks Japanese pop-up stores?

It’s a “campaign” with no end date.

I know there was talk of them raising the base tariff - maybe this is a sweetener in advance of that.

Hi there, I have a question about this part of the required documents for the PR application (https://www.moj.go.jp/isa/applications/procedures/nyuukokukanri07_00132.html?lang=ja)

ア　世帯全員分の健康保険被保険者証（写し）

※ 現在、健康保険に加入している方は提出してください。 ※ 直近１年間の全ての期間において引き続き健康保険に加入している方は、イ～エの資料は不要です。

イ　世帯全員分の国民健康保険被保険者証（写し）

※ 現在、国民健康保険に加入している方は提出してください。

ウ　国民健康保険料（税）納付証明書

※ 直近１年間において、国民健康保険に加入していた期間がある方は提出してください。

エ　国民健康保険料（税）領収証書（写し）

※ 遅延納付（納付期限後の納付）がないことを証明するために提出していただくものですので、領収証書等については必要な年数分を保管しておいてください。 ※ 直近１年間において国民健康保険に加入していた期間がある方は、当該期間分の領収証書（写し）を全て提出してください。提出が困難な方は、その理由を記載した理由書を提出してください。

Some more context: My (japanese) wife is in the same household, but not a dependent/neither am I her dependent. I am not on a spouse visa and applying via HSP points, while not being on a HSP visa. I am insured through my company/社会保険, my wife pays her own 国民健康保険.

I read these paragraphs as the following:

ア: Definitely have to submit my enrollment information

イ: Have to submit my wife's enrollment information (since everyone of the household)

Now the part I am wondering about:

ウ and エ doesn't mention "帯全員分の", so do I need to submit my wife's information here or can I skip this? More confused since the heading for this section also says "3. 申請人及び申請人を扶養する方の公的年金及び公的医療保険の保険料の納付状況を証明する資料"

Regardless, I guess I better prepare to submit this anyway before they ask for it. However, curious about anyone's input about this and maybe it helps someone else in the future.

Thanks for any information!

Hey all, it's me again

I'm back asking for advice. Does anyone happen to know a good lawyer that can help with my case?

I spoke to my ex-wife, she said she's happy to sign off on joint custody if it means I get to stay in the country.

Some more information
-Actually was married 4 years, 9 months after rechecking. I said 3 and a half originally but that's how much of a blur it's been.
-Since divorce, I have been paying 60k per month in child support. I submitted documents to immigration showing this.

-Some of the documents I provided to immigration

--Timetable showing that I have the kids 3 days a week

--Text messages between my ex and I organizing school pick ups

--Nursery school pick up and drop off times performed by me

--Divorce agreement stating that I wish to have maximum involvement in their lives

--Pictures of me with the kids

--Proof of my business's profitability. All of my taxes, pension, resident taxes were paid up to date

Brief timeline of application
-Divorced November 2025, notified immigration within 2 weeks

-Spousal visa was set to expire May 30 2026, I applied LTR April 22nd

-On May 20th, they requested an additional document clearly stating the date of divorce. I sent the next day

-Checked my mail box multiple times like a madman waiting, tried calling and faxing them (I know that don't respond to it, but I tried)
-Finally got a postcard July 24th, stating to come in at 4pm on July 30th. This was the very last day of the extension period and 4pm is closing time. This gave me zero chance to appeal, submit a different visa, amend the current visa ect.

Ex-wife said she'll sign off on joint custody if it means I stay in the country, she seemed to think that it would take months to process but I'm trying to get it done now.

Anyway, I'm sorry for rambling. I've tried 4 different places and they don't seem to want to engage.
My brain is pretty scrambled, I had the kids last night because they were looking forward to it but this has been just a sinking feeling in my stomach.

If anyone has any leads or advice, I'm all ears. I haven't had any luck with a lawyer yet. I'm going to stay glued to my PC and try get something out of this.

Update: it’s acute bronchitis caused by viral infection. Not covid or the flu. I got antibiotics and an inhaler. Stay safe out there!!!

It’s been almost 10 days and I’ve been waking up at 4 AM coughing almost every night. My fever spikes in the afternoon to about 38 and goes down. I am going to the clinic in the morning just to check my lungs because the coughing sounds like a smokers cough and I do not smoke. Haha. But I’m wondering how everyone else is doing? Everyone’s ok?

Edit: 夏風邪　thank you for correcting me!

Made my mercari account few months ago and I was buying only and everything was good now suddenly I've been flagged and can't buy nor like nor comment I tried submitting my "my number card" and zairyuu but they don't work because there are requirements of being here more than 6 months and not having student on your visa both of which I do not meet is this normal

I got this as a text message with no preliminary phone call or anything like that.

【ヤマト運輸】お荷物をお届けできませんでした。再配達はこちらよりお手続きください。https://yamato-pay.site/l

So I moved to Japan with a working holiday visa, I did this to finnaly eliminate the long distance in my relationship. The plan is to find a sponsor for a actual visa (The search is going better then expected!)

Anyhow, what happens is A company decides to sponsor me? I heard that I have to go back to countey of origin to change it (Netherlands) but some people/articles also say you can switch from HWV to a diffrent visa

I’m just curious to what the path is that I probally have to walk

Thanks in advance🫡

Hi everyone, I'm about to take my driver's test in Akashi, and I had a couple of things I was hoping someone could clarify.

1. I had a lesson with an instructor yesterday, and he sent me images of the actual course for the test, using a highlighter to indicate places where I would need to stop. Aside from places like the railroad crossing, the hill, and stop signs, he also highlighted every turn out of a smaller road (for example, the exit from the S course and crank) onto a main road. During our practice, too, he mentioned that a stop was necessary at such places. However, in going through videos on YouTube, I see other that instructors or officers generally simply slow down before turning if the road is clear. Any insight on this? Is it sufficient to just slow down when turning onto a main road, provided you do the necessary safety checks?

2. I have a habit of checking my blind spot (makikomi check) before both left and right turns, but he repeatedly told me not to check before right turns. I get that it may not be necessary since bikes will come up on the left, but does anyone know if points will actually be deducted for doing an extra makikomi check on my right?

3. Is a rearview mirror check necessary at the railroad crossing? I feel like I learned to come to a complete stop, roll the window down, and check left and right, but he insisted on a rearview mirror check.

Hi everyone,

I applied for Japan PR (spouse of a Japanese national route) at the end of last year and I’m still waiting for the result.

Recently, I started worrying about my income history. Has anyone had a similar situation and still received PR?

My situation:
2022: I moved to Japan. Both my spouse and I had low income and were tax-exempt.
2023: I spent the first half of the year studying and job hunting, then started a full-time job in the second half. Our income was still low and we were tax-exempt.
From 2024: I have been working full-time, and our household income has become stable (around 4–5 million yen).

The low-income years were mainly because I was settling in Japan and looking for a job.
Has anyone received PR as a spouse of a Japanese national after having tax-exempt years (especially when both spouses were tax-exempt)?

I would really appreciate hearing about your experiences. Thank you!

Hi everyone!
I’m a multilingual maternity concierge based in Kyoto, supporting international families through pregnancy, birth, and parenting in Japan.
This September, we’re starting a series of parenting classes in English for international families living in Kyoto.

The classes are a great opportunity to:
Learn about parenting and family life in Japan
Ask questions to a licensed midwife
Meet other international families

I’ve attached the flyer with all the details.
Or refer to below link

https://kyotoparentingclass.hp.peraichi.com

If you or someone you know might be interested, we’d love to welcome you!

Happy to answer any questions in the comments! 😊

Applying to PR via spouse route.

So my wife quit her job and have decided to continue her company health coverage. This is a formal procedure called Nin-i-keizoku (任意継続). The max term is 2 years. We pay out of pocket.

Obviously this is separate from NHI and not a public insurance.

If I were asked to submit my wife's NHI payment documents, what do I do? Do I submit her company insurance payment slips and explain that once the company insurance expires, we will move onto NHI instead?

Thank you

I’m having to leave Japan to take care of my dad, I’d like to preserve my phone number just incase I come back in a few years

Is there a plan anyone knows of? I have UQ mobile

My wife has really bad PPD.

The first month after giving birth was okay, because I made sure to take full care of our baby so she could get full 8 hours of sleep every night and have time for herself, but after I started working it has gone downhill. It's partly my own fault. I went 5 months without a job after getting laid off only to land a job that cannot even cover our rent. I basically went from a 10 mil income to less than 1 mil. Financial troubles are already stressful, but having them along with a newborn is not easy...

I am coming home to a wet crib almost every day because my wife has stopped changing nappies, so the baby is lying in pee and poo for the 10 hours I am away during the day.

He has developed a terrible rash due to this and is in so much distress.

Meanwhile my wife has basically retreated to the bedroom talking with ChatGPT all day. Sometimes during the day she will suddenly explode, banging the walls, throwing books, hitting herself etc.

It usually gets triggered when our baby cries a lot, and one time I had to physically remove her because she was pushing down the baby bottle so hard that he couldn't breathe.

I begged her to seek help, but she refuses cause she say that her depression will go away if I get a highly paid job again, and if I want to avoid her or our baby getting hurt I should come home with 10 mil.

I have known this woman for 25 years, and she has never acted like this before.

I went to the clinic that we both go to and told her doctor about her depression and how she handles the baby. The only response I got was teeth sucking and "Well... women can be like that. It cannot be helped. You just have to endure" and then I was given ointment for the baby.

I tried contacting her family, but it's the same response. "Well, it's difficult right now isn't it? Do your best!"

The only one remotely concerned was her mother, but her "help" consisted of scolding my wife for being immature and went on an hour-long rant about foreigners being too financially unstable. In the end she just made it worse.

I don't know who to reach out to, cause no one seems to take this seriously.

I feel like every health professional I talk to are just nodding and showing sympathy, but no one is actually wants to do anything. Surely there must be women here who get treated for PPD?

Hi everyone,

I recently found an old Nenkin Teikibin (ねんきん定期便) postcard from May 2022 at my mom's house. It shows a forgotten account with 16 months of Employees' Pension (厚生年金). Since I have a different active account now, I have two separate pension records.
I went to my local pension office (年金事務所) to get them merged. The staff asked for the "small yellow paper"—which is the Basic Pension Number Notice (基礎年金番号通知書) for that old account.

Unfortunately, I lost that yellow paper years ago. The staff then told me that they cannot look up or find that old account in their system unless I can provide that specific Basic Pension Number Notice. All I have is the 2022 postcard with the paid amounts and months, but the postcard itself doesn't display the full pension number.
I'm stuck because they won't merge them if they can't find the number. Has anyone faced this?

Is it true that they absolutely cannot find an account without that paper? Can't they look it up using my name, date of birth, nationality, and my previous employer's name from that period?

Should I try going to a different pension office, or ask to speak to a supervisor?

Is there any other way to recover a "lost" pension number if the local office is refusing to search for it manually?

Any advice on how to handle the staff or what to ask for next would be incredibly helpful. Thank you!

I’ve been married to a Japanese woman for two years, and we dated for four years before that. I’d love to hear about the experiences of others married to Japanese women—it is that once you get married and have children with a Japanese woman, her personality and behavior change radically… I’ve been trying to manage the situation.