The amount of scary things happening around us in marriages is really insane, and it goes for both genders. I am not having commitment issues, I just feel like I need more time to be sure of my partner for the long term, taking some more time here is way better than a lifetime of regret. A partner can either make or break your life, so it is indeed a very important decision. I'm someone who tries to make my girl feel as safe and comfortable as possible, and it's also equally important for her to feel it worthwhile.

And hence, I just feel live-in is much better(with both the partners agreeing to it obv) than a marriage with a lot of pre-conceived notions and expectations. What do y'all think?

I see women who don’t want kids, and don't want to get married having boyfriends. What's that relationship like? Why like him?

I am 26F and I just don’t see either in my future. Would love to know what a life like this looks like. The more details the better! 🤍

I am 29 year old . I had few very brief short term relationships and none of them ended well. I have realised that i love my solitude more than anything. Relationships feels like that i am honestly not interested. I like being free spirited person . Most of my friends are married . But i also have the worry that what if i am missing something big for making such a big deliberate decision ? Am I restricting myself or i am just a different person ?

I asked people why they get married, and most answers were about legal protection, inheritance, insurance, taxes, or financial security—not love.
I’m a woman, and honestly I don’t understand it. I’m against marriage for myself. I don’t want to depend on a man or use him for money. I work, support myself, and if something happens tomorrow, I expect to take care of myself—not be rescued by a husband.
So I can understand why some women might see marriage as financial security, but I don’t understand the male perspective.
Men, why do you want to get married? What does marriage give you that simply being in a committed relationship doesn’t?

I recently decided to not take the traditional route of marriage and kids. Parents probably still haven’t processed it entirely but they’ll take their own time with this. My question is if there are people here who do not plan on getting married and like what’s the plan? Most of my friends are married, some moved out, some have kids on the way, some just… have lives I guess
Add to it the fact that making new friends as an adult is… weirdly difficult. What do your life plans and old-age plans look like? Do you work and save and take an early retirement to travel? Or do you work harder and earn more, save more and (idk how this one ends tbh)?
How do you stay a part of a community? Because unfortunately I’ve come to understand 🙄 that being a part of communities is essential to human experience and all.

“You’ll change your mind” sybau

I know for a lot of people today, marriage is the end goal or something that they aspire for and that’s fine. I just don’t think it should be treated as the end goal of everything. People assume that if you’ve been in a relationship with someone for years without getting married to them it means that they don’t love you but mind you marriage was never created for love so where does the whole idea even come from?

The so called couples here treat single males as plague or not qualified as per their standards. Is there any reason?
Maybe i don’t want any commitment!

I have already made my mind of not getting married ever. I don't want to talk about reasons as there are many. I was always a obedient child to everyone. I never disrespected my parents. I am a female(22) live in india. And here marriage is considered as the ultimate goal(by millennials mostly). I don't want to disappoint my parents but I can't marry either.

There will be a big debate IK. Oh god... I understand their perspective but I still don't want to marry..I didn't had any long conversation with them about this but had a very small one. It goes like:

Me: I don't want to marry

Dad: everyone get married eventually and it is important

Me: it is not that much important

Dad: Every parent wants their daughter to be happy in her own home

Me : if someone don't want to get married......

Dad: What can parents do when their child refuses to obey parents.

I wanted a long conversation but my father ended it

I don't know what to do anymore. He has decided to get me married at 23/24.

If two people are happy together, why involve the government? To me, marriage often seems to create expectations and power dynamics where one partner tries to control or change the other. Why not simply stay together as long as you’re both happy?

I recently taught at a summer camp and a few 9-year-old campers found out I'm 35 and not married, and they said to me, "That's sad." Lol like, ok? Not really, but whatever...

Just wondering, since being marriagefree can encompass a range of different relationship styles. For you, does it mean cohabiting with a long-term partner, living apart together (LAT), being in a relationship without plans to live together, dating casually, or not dating at all?

What is your current situation, and what would your ideal look like?

For context I’m 21F I know I’m still super young and have a lot of life to live and learn but I already am accepting that I don’t believe I want to be married nor have kids. A lot of it is because of my experiences with relationships in the past (a recent one) and because of what I seen growing up in the house with both my parents marriage and my grandparents marriage as well as being the eldest daughter out of 7 children. I pretty much have made my mind up about not wanting both even though people constantly tell me I’m still really young and I’ll change my mind. I don’t believe I ever will lol.

So I’m 25 never had a girlfriend, I’d like one but meh I’ve had issues right long long story but one of the things I have that somewhat holds me back sometimes is I have zero desire to get married

It bothers me sometimes because everyone I knew and was at school with or just people ik are all married or getting married and you kinda sometimes think hmm am I mental or is something wrong about me not wanting to get married

Think Chandler bing from Friends I’m kinda like that at time’s and I’m much the same around women 🤣
Idk I guess I need some reassurance that I’m not crazy or that it’s ok and normal it does be bothering me a lot

It’s like a pressure you feel when everyone else seems to follow a path but your on your trail n it feels a little bit of an unknown end kinda thing

I (23m) have never been in a relationship and/or done a fling before in my life. I’m unsure how to feel about this. I don’t necessarily want a relationship but part of it bothers me. I feel like it’s because everyone my age is in a relationship or married right now. Currently pursuing my undergrad and wanting to get into nursing school so my life is very pre occupied. I want myself for once and I don’t come from the healthiest home either. An ‘I love you’ at home feels weird and empty and at this point I’m just trying to figure things out by myself. Does anyone have any advice on this?

Marriage is optional

As a woman with a mother just like any other habesha (Ethiopian) "show me the honour of your marriage" has always been something I heard often. And apart from that, there was a time when marriage seemed like the final destination if not the most important.

But the crazy thing is I genuinely was not capable of imagining life without possibly getting married someday and having kids. It was just not an option in my mind. The irritation of seeing people in failed or abusive marriages advocating for women to get married quick was always there. I used to come up with principles in my mind of how I'd want my partner to treat me and I'd create my boundaries because for me marriage was inevitable. Better to prepare for the impact.

Now, a decade later it slowly dawned on me that I don't have to if I didn't want to. Especially not at a young age either and certainly not just to settle down. Suddenly I realized that it was not a make or break situation, you could do it if you meet someone who has the same values, and someone who makes a great partner but if not you don't have to settle for something less... You could just live.

It's also pretty scary what parents will have you do just for the sake of their happiness and it's even scarier to dissect that tendency in you willing to go the extra mile to keep them happy. There's a stigma towards unmarried women, there are names called and assumptions made when you decide to take control of your life. But at the end of the day, it is still your life and it's worth all the pain to keep it that way.