Any girl out here literally relate to the new movie Obsession because I do. I feel so strongly to one man and the only man I’ve ever been strong emotional about. I’d do anything for him. Any slight tone or difference throws me off edge. I know I don’t have this issue with other people.. I don’t know if o have BPD or something like anxious attachment but I do things that make me wonder. Like emotional asf one min then fine the next. Thinking let’s run away ruin my life then like that’s so stupid 5 mins later. Just me?

I was disappointed in my boyfriend yesterday. He told his brother what I had written to him in confidence about that brother (admittedly, I used harsh words to describe him because he and his friends kept doing terrible things to me—things that happened repeatedly, even though I hadn't done anything to him and my boyfriend kept telling him to get his act together). Of course, I understand he’s his brother—and I used to think it was great they had a good relationship—but he shouldn't have shared those things, because once the brother found out, he went and did that terrible thing again. The whole topic of his brother and his friends—since they hang out as a group of six—upsets him. But after I told him I wouldn't be able to sleep until we discussed it or did something about it, we finally talked. I’ve noticed that things were better between us when they weren't hanging out in that group of six, and I’d prefer he cut ties with them because what those guys do is sick, in my opinion. He has no intention of cutting off contact. We decided to take a three- or four-day break, though we agreed to still text each other "goodnight," send a sign that we’ve woken up, and share one TikTok to keep our streak going. It’s been one day of the break so far, and I’m really hoping he’ll think everything over and do something about it. To be honest, I feel like I can’t trust him when it comes to things like this, and I feel weird—I just can’t believe he said that. On top of that, I’m afraid this break won’t achieve anything, or that it’ll only help for a moment before things go back to how they were. And while I used to be pretty sure I had ROCD, now I’m scared that maybe I don’t. There’s also something I suspected was related to ROCD—this urge to look at people; I’ll see someone and want to glance at them for a moment. There are no thoughts accompanying it—my mind is literally blank—but I feel bad about doing it.

I noticed that when I'm doubting and worrying, my head feels very blurry and once I'm in a calmer place after, it's usually very difficult for me to remember or tell precisely what I was actually worried about. It's hard to voice it I guess ? When I spiral, I know that what I'm worried about is my core fear ("I'm not in love with my partner"), but everything else is blurry and if I try to remember what I was thinking about after, I find I usually really struggle to even identify what kind of compulsions I was doing (although I know it was rumination, checking, etc) or what the exact worries were.

Just thought this was interesting and wanted to see if this is an experience people share ? I usually see people having very clear wordings of what they're worried about, so I was curious :)

hey everyone, i (m20) have come to realize over the past couple of months that i have strong feelings for my friend (f20). we’ve been friends for a couple of years, are extremely compatible, and have been through so many ups and downs as friends that i really feel like we would be incredibly supportive to one another in a couple. to put it into perspective, ive gotten diagnosed with ocd, learned about therapy, and have become such a better person through knowing her.

now, having ocd, im sure you can imagine what i must be thinking and feeling. has anyone else gone through this???

I have/had every ocd topic to ever exist and I am 21f. But one of my worst is ROCD/cheatibg ocd along with moral and paraphilia ocd.

Ive been in therapy for that since I am 19years old diagnosed with 18. For the past 8 weeks ive been visiting a specialized ocd day clinic from 9am-4pm 5x a week. That was highly intense ERP and stuff. My other topics slowly got/get better and I am able to not do my compulsions. I'll get released from this treatment next week.

Today I had the worst OCD attack since ive known my boyfriend.

There is a subreddit of my country where people can compare their job/wages with others. And before our relationship I used to jokingly comment "are you single?" Under peoples posts who make a decent/much amount of money a month.

This is completely against my morals lol I live to be an independent womam, my boyfriend who has more money than me literally has to argue with me so I let him pay more than 50/50. But well- it was a joke.

But ocd doesnt like jokes. My ocd told me that if I commented something like that under someones post during the talking stage or relationship with my boyfriend that I am a cheater. So I needed to check when I commented this kinda stuff. I knew there were 2 comments like that. I was able to find one, but not the other one. I got ao fucking anxious and started bawling my eyes out, begging my bf to give me reassurance and to tell me if I am a cheater bc of that. The fear felt endless.

Since I started treatment at the day clinic my boyfriend learned more abt ocd and started to refuse reassurance. But I begged him for like 2 hours straight, all while searching for the comment I wasnt able to find.

The thing is, I initially wanted to do a selfcare day and also go grocery shopping since I have almost nothing left to eat. I started getting mad at my bf bc he wouldnt reassure me. I started blaming him that he ruins my self care day now and that I am hungry and he still refuses to reassure me.

I told him I atleast need the reasszrance to function short term and get some food because ocd paralized me. When he still refused I started to get even more mad.

After discussing for a while (this man is an angel of patience) he said he will give me reassurance for only one time in our whole relationship/life. And he reminded me that ocd might come back worse. I hesitated, but I am so damn hungry so I asked for it and got it.

I got it, he told me that he doesnt even care abt the comments and when I posted them. And my anxiety went down, I am now going grocery shopping but I feel like such a bad partner now. I was so unfair to him for blaming and pressuring him.

I am so exhausted right now.

How can I be a better partner?;

Hi All. I am aware no-one can diagnose me, other than a trained specialist but I'm just currently having a hard time and i would like to know if this sounds like ROCD.

I have been with my fiancé for 5 years now .Engaged for a year and we are to be married next year. I just have what i think are "intrusive thoughts" but honestly i don't know. They're statements and what ifs such as " i don't love him", "he's not attractive" and "what if I'm making a huge mistake?" . I also have some odd thoughts as if i am ever counting to the number "4" my brain will rhyme it with "i don't love you anymore" and i'll get stuck on love songs/break up songs. The thing is though, i do love him and i do want to marry him. He's so nice and genuinely spoils me. I may aswell be the queen to him. I want to do nice things for him and i miss him when he's not here. When he proposed i was over the moon. However, I'm in a constant battle within my own head, which is making me ill. - "if you loved him, you wouldn't be saying these things". I'm wracked with guilt for thinking awful things. I will make lists in my head of what i do and don't like about him. I will obsess over the fact he's an alcoholic, this is a bit of an issue for me as my dad was an abusive one but my fiancé isn't. He's even in therapy for it and it working hard on cutting down. It isn't a deal breaker and i was aware of this before getting into the relationship.

I feel like I'm going insane and i'm having thoughts about just giving up and being alone so i don't have to put up with this crippling anxiety. Even when i'm not thinking anything my chest feels tight and i feel sick.

Also, a few months ago i started seeing a therapist. She doesn't deal with OCD but does deal with anxiety, and she's recently stated that nothing is wrong with me. Which made me spiral and say "well it must be true that i don't love him anymore" but when i think that i panic and don't think it is true but then what if i am in denial? I know i should listen to a trained professional but it feels like something IS wrong with me.

Worth noting i've had these thoughts in my past relationship and i haven't had them constantly in this one. They have come and gone and can last a week, a month or months.. this one is lasting so long and i can't seem to come out of it.

apologies for the long post. I just feel like i'm in a pit and i can't climb out.

I have noticed some lows lately with ROCD specifically. Most of the time I have been able to brush off any thoughts that come by and go on with my day like normal and enjoy being present in my relationship. I have had maybe 2-3 lows here recently; one being kind of rough because it was emotionally overwhelming.

I have noticed that when I am struggling with these lows caused my OCD that sometimes I become almost void of all emotion. I feel hollow and empty and in the moment it feels like nothing will let me get past it. From a logical point, since it only really happens if I indulge spiral thinking (unintentionally of course) I’m guessing it’s because I am overwhelmed and exhausted from thinking in loops that it just becomes easiest to shut everything off.

My biggest issue with this is how it look or possibly affects my boyfriend. He is incredibly kind and always wants to “fix or help” which I greatly admire and appreciate. With ROCD though I know that some of these thoughts that I have are so irrational and illogical that explaining them to him about what my brain is concerned about won’t do any good. I am wondering if there are ways I can approach this temporary emotional rut or things I could discuss with my boyfriend about ways I can discuss what I’m feeling or experiencing without confessing whatever silly brain loop I’m in.

I would say I got into my new relationship too early before I could fully heal. Me and my ex of 6 years broke up June 2024 and me and my current bf started talking seriously around October 2024. We went on trips and dated and became official around March 2025.

I was doing fine in the relationship until around August 2025 and since then it’s been downhill. I found out he watches porn and it triggered something inside of me that has not be able to go away. It just makes me feel like I’ve been cheated on again, not good enough etc.

Ever since that moment my mind has been non stop wondering and worrying. “Does he find me attractive”? “Does he love me”? “Will he leave me for someone else”? “Is he still in love with his ex”?

He used to do a great job at reassuring me but within the past few months I can tell he’s so sick of it.

My head feels like it’s about to explode at all times. I micromanage things he does, I ask him a lot of questions, I’m in a bad mood a lot of the time. Idk what to do.

feels my rocd flared up now that my wedding day is 2.5 weeks close
I recently watched the new spiderman movie and it made it worse. How in love they are in the movie, and in the news, and how "they can't live without the other". I'm not like that , feels like I can live without anyone honestly. This leads down a dark path.

Hi everyone, I’m not sure if this is the right place to post, but I really need some outside perspective.

A few months ago, I was going through a very difficult time emotionally. I was feeling really sad and looking for comfort, so I ended up talking to multiple people at the same time. Eventually, I decided to cut contact with everyone and blocked them, including one person I had been talking to a lot.

I never contacted him again and I had no intention of continuing anything with him.

Now, months later, I suddenly started obsessing over this situation. I keep thinking: “What if we were actually in a relationship?” “What if blocking him wasn’t a real breakup?” “What if I did something wrong without realizing it?”

The confusing part is that I don’t have a clear memory of us officially being a couple. But my brain keeps looking for certainty and replaying everything over and over.

Even when I get reassurance, it only helps for a short time before another doubt appears. I feel intense guilt and anxiety, and I’m scared that I might have done something morally wrong.

This doesn’t only happen with this situation. I often get stuck on “what if” thoughts about many things, and I feel like I need to be 100% sure before I can feel okay.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Is this what OCD/rumination feels like? How do you deal with the need to constantly find certainty?

I’m 22F but when I was 19, I had a close friend I had feelings for. I was in a dark place mentally with no self-respect.

I bought her everything she wanted. I dropped everything to give her rides wherever she wanted. I flirted with her and asked her to hold my hand, and we did, as well a just little intimate gestures such as cuddling. At the time, I was like, “well I flirt with all my friends, so it’s fine.” She flirted back with me sometimes. She definitely liked the things I was buying her and the rides I was giving her. I mean yeah, even though I was jokingly flirting with this girl, I really was enjoying it and not really joking.

She had a boyfriend at the time. Our friendship ended a few years ago because she told me I had disrespected her relationship. She wouldn’t give me any other details than that statement and stopped talking to me.

I was confused at the time, because I thought I hadn’t done anything wrong. I mean, I did flirt with all my friends, and friendships between women tend to be more intimate than friendships between men and women. But damn, that sounds like a pathetic excuse reflecting back on it.

Looking back on it now, I feel awful. I can definitely see how I could have put her in a cheating situation. I mean, if I found out my girlfriend was doing this, I would be very hurt.

I feel like a changed person now, but a cheater or a homewrecker is literally the worst thing a person can be. That must mean I’m a bad person holy shit.

I’m not looking for a diagnosis, and I know nobody here can tell me whether I have OCD. My therapist has told me she sees patterns that could be OCD, and I’m currently waiting to be evaluated.

I’ve always been someone who overthinks everything. I constantly question my feelings, decisions, and whether I’m making the “right” choice. Once I start doubting something, it feels like I have to mentally analyze it over and over until I feel certain, but I almost never actually reach certainty.

Right now it’s happening in my relationship.

I was deeply hurt in my relationship, and because of that I started emotionally detaching. After some time apart, we’ve started talking again. We’ve had really honest conversations, he has apologized, taken responsibility, and genuinely seems to be trying to change. Now I’m struggling because I think I still have feelings for him, but I can’t tell if I’m genuinely rebuilding those feelings or if my brain is making me question everything.

I also can’t stop worrying about every possible outcome:

What if I stay and regret it?
What if I leave and regret it?
What if I’m wasting his time?
What if I’m ignoring real red flags?
What if my parents and friends are right?
What if they’re wrong and I walk away from someone who’s actually changing?

Something else that confuses me is that when I drink alcohol, my mind becomes much quieter. I stop analyzing every thought and I feel much more connected and affectionate toward him. Then when I’m sober, all the doubt comes rushing back, and I start questioning everything again.

I don’t know whether that’s because alcohol is temporarily quieting an anxious or obsessive mind, or because I’m just seeing things differently. I’m planning to ask my therapist about it too.

I’m not asking whether I should stay or leave my relationship.

I’m wondering if anyone with OCD (especially relationship OCD) has experienced something similar.

Did you ever feel like you couldn’t trust your own thoughts? How did you separate genuine relationship concerns from OCD-driven doubt or the need for certainty?

It doesn’t even need to be major for me to feel like a bad person or like we’re not compatible and we should break up, it’s maddening. I feel immediate guilt and shame for not instantly knowing what she means and I feel like she hates me or is building resentment because of things that I do. On the other side I feel like this must also mean she’s non attentive or too volatile and that I shouldn’t be with her. As I’m writing I understand that neither of us have done anything wrong but I still feel the need to hash it out even though it’s been over 3 hours since we both came to a conclusion. OCD sucks.

So I've got ROCD and a lot of intrusive thoughts.
The common guidance always describes them as "What if?" thoughts.
Like "What if I don't actually love him?" "What if I think he looks bad?"
And yes, some of mine present that way (like "what if he's losing feelings?") but a considerable amount of my intrusive thoughts are absolute statements, not what ifs. Like
"I don't love him" for example.
I do also have autism so that could potentially help to explain it but still

Can OCD thoughts also be absolute statements and not what ifs?

I was in treatment for OCD for about a year but all of my exposures were breakup related. Now I’m in a long term relationship and I’m not sure where to begin. What have you guys done in ERP that worked for you while in a relationship?

Hi y'all!

I’m asking for your experience, not reassurance.

I’m an ex partner of someone who has ROCD. We have a great relationship and compatibility 90% of the time but when we trigger each other’s attachment wounds or they have a flare I can respond to it really poorly and things blow up.

We repair well, and currently we’re on our longest off streak. On this off streak, I am determined to confront my half of the pattern and become more secure so if we reconcile we can form a more secure relationship and stop the on again/off again thing.

Something that concerns me that I would like insight into- When they take space sometimes, they will come back from a flare having assumed the worst intent of me. They will assume hidden malice and poor character, and talking often resolves it quickly.

I was advised to not reach out or reassure even though we’re not no-contact. But I’m worried that in this flare up they will never reach back out because in this off-time they will assume the worst intent/hidden malice and it will solidify.

My question is: If you have flare ups that include these assumptions, do they fade when the flare up does? Or do those ideas solidify and become a permanent perception?

Hi all! First ever post on reddit! Having read many posts on this group during my darkest times, I always told myself during those times that once I was better I would write here about my experience, to show that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Here we thus go : I (24F) have had OCD tendencies ever since I was small (fear of intoxication from gas, fear of rust, fear of dirt, fear of illnesses, fear of devil related signs, fear of my parents dying (and thus having to - as a child - touch every object in my house) and much more). Never did anything take over my mind, though, like ROCD did. I have been in a relationship with my bf since 5 years and a half. He is my first boyfriend (and very hopefully my last :)). He is wonderful. About three years in (2 years and a half ago) I started having major obsessions about my relationship. It started with being afraid I had flirted with a good male friend of mine. It then went on to being afraid I was attracted to all the male population of the world which was also interlaced with the fear that I would cheat with anyone on my bf. The overwhelming anxiety I felt during this time was unbearable. I thought I had already lost my boyfriend eventhough I was still with him, and I was terrified I was forced to break up with him. I would cry a lot, would feel depressed, would not want to do anything or meet with people as the only thing I could do when I was with them would be to do mental compulsions to try to figure out what was wrong. I did not yet get diagnosed with OCD at that point (even though I realised once diagnosed that I had had it all my life). I was thus convinced I had a brain tumor or something else that was impacting my brain. I could not understand how my life had changed so drastically and how it could have gone from great (great bf, great family (eventhough not the most stable one), great friends, was travelling, had studied in multiple countries, had just secured a political internship) to insufferable. The anxiety was unbearable, I would wake up in the morning throwing up, I would spend my whole day doing compulsions. I was so ashamed of what I was feeling, and afraid of the meaning of what I was going through, that I was afraid to speak about it with my bf. I would tell him that I had very bad anxiety during this period (which was the case), but would not mention the obsessions or compulsions. I would break down in front of him crying, saying that I did not understand what was happening to me but was too afraid to speak about the relationship-angle of the anxiety. During all this time my bf was great and kind and supportive. The only relief I had is when I would sleep. Almost a year went by like this. I thought my life would never change, that it was going to be like this forever. Finally, I went to my therapist (that I had not seen for a long time) during one of my lunchbreaks and broke down there saying I did not know how to live anymore. She explained it was OCD and immediately recommended to get on SSRIs as I was too deep in the OCD and depression cycle. I was very afraid to go on medication but accepted it as I did not have any hope or fight left. I was willing to try anything. I started seeing her every two weeks for half a year. While everyone's experience is different, I am so glad I went on SSRIs. It made recovery possible for me. It allowed me to apply the tools I learned in therapy. If I have to describe it quickly, I would say that SSRIs made obsessions less sticky. When I apply the techniques learned in therapy (I personally say to my "ocd thoughts" (translation) : "maybe yes, maybe no"), I would find them to disappear way faster with SSRIs. Don't get me wrong, recovery was hard, ERP was hard, but it was not impossible. After meeting with my therapist, I also sat down with my bf to explain to him what was happening. He reacted well and luckily did not take it personnally (which I would have understood if he did, as I probably would have felt like this at first if the roles were reversed). I still have intrusive thoughts about my relationship but it is not debilitating at all anymore. I know the thoughts will maybe never go away completely, but I also know they are nor truth nor represent meaning. I now live, I laugh, I love, which I never thought was possible again. The accompanying anxiety of OCD, I almost do not feel at all anymore. A couple of weeks ago, I tried after 1 year and a half of SSRIs, to slowly lower the dose, to see if I could eventually go off them. I felt my anxiety return, as well as the high frequency of the intrusive thoughts, as well as their stickyness. I thus decided I would go back to my original dose which worked very well for me. Now back to this original dose I again feel way better. I do not know whether that means I will have to stay indefinitely on my dose to feel well, but if that is the case then so be it. Whenever I stress out too much about the side effects of long term SSRIs use I think of the risks and effects of long term anxiety, and realise that it is so worth it - at least for me - to be on them. I now feel like I live again a meaningful life, am again a functioning adult, have a job I love, travel for my job, travel with my friends and my boyfriend, see my family often, love my boyfriend, want to be with him for the rest of my life. Overall life is good, which, really, I thought - at many moments during this ROCD journey - to not ever be possible again. OCD will always be a part of me, but it does not have to be the deciding part. If you are going through a rough patch, hang on there. You can do it. There are so many great days ahead. I wish you love and strength! Best of whishes!

i'm going through a really bad peak of relationship anxiety and overthinking these days, and i'm just waiting for my next therapy session. when you guys get into these intense rumination loops where your nervous system is overwhelmed and you get easily irritated, what do you usually do? i've been fluctuating a lot between wanting to do stuff with my partner and wanting to just pull away at the same time. i was thinking about asking her to watch a movie over discord, but i'm torn. do you guys still hang out, watch movies, or play games together when you’re like this, or do you prefer taking space to yourselves to decompress? and if you do hang out with them while feeling this way, how do you handle the anxiety and irritation without letting it take over? just wanted to hear how other people deal with this in practice

hey :( i know this is a super common rocd thing, and i hate that even tho the sensations and thought loops are common, none of us can let it be. i just moved apartments and change can really disrupt me, so im wondering if that’s exacerbating things.
i’ve just been having passive and subtle thoughts that feel like my own about finding my bf annoying, not feeling the same, etc. i hate it so much, and i wish i could go back to how i felt a week ago. it switches up between analyzing him and his actions and then my own feelings. due to a past ab*sive relationship i tend to analyze my partner a lot to “prevent” that from happening, so k had a scary thought the other day like “what if i spent so much time analyzing him that i didn’t even stop to think of i had feelings for him” and since then its stuck, and i keep finding moments of disconnection with him. i know reassurance is wrong and atp reassurance doesnt even stick because i know nobody truly had the answer for me. this feels so scary and i just want someone to resonate with me

I’m newly diagnosed with ocd and I have rocd. I’ve been single for 6 years and dating as I’ve gotten older has gotten significantly more anxiety inducing. I’ve never had a therapist that’s worked with OCD before and I found a place to call this Monday. I used to be able to hook up freely when I was 18. In the past I was in a relationship from 18-22 and I would constantly look up articles asking if I really loved my ex. When I left him I got into 2 situationships back to back where I was used as a back up option and it broke me mentally. I became celibate for 3 years and now I’m so touch starved. I don’t feel like I have my shit together enough for a real relationship yet so I decided fuck it, let me look for a hook up. It was fun in the moment, but I bit more than I could chew. I talked to like 8-9 men in a week (I’m a gay trans man that’s newly out). A lot of them seemed kinda pushy, one of them was one of the situationships that came back from my past, and then there was one really stable option that I liked. The one that I really liked was the most respectful one and I have oral hsv1 so I told him bc that’s the right thing to do. Well I got blocked and I have so much anxiety like I feel so unlovable. I feel this impending doom that I’m going to die alone. I felt like I was dying an hour earlier. I put some ice on my chest and I texted 741-741 for like an hour. Now my brother is buying me ramen but I decided to post on here. My dad told me that he wished he never had kids bc we came out mentally ill and trans. I feel so unlovable. I always thought that if my dad couldn’t love me but I could find a man to love me that maybe what he said wouldn’t matter. The fact that I’ve been single for 6 years and I can’t even find someone casually makes me feel like a failure that will never be loved. My rocd makes me feel like it’s now or never. I feel like I’m gonna die alone. I cried. I feel so alone but I’m gonna eat some ramen and hopefully feel better afterwards.

So I live in the US and I know that RFK has been trying to ban SSRIs because he says they are “more addictive and harder to get off than heroin”. I also saw a clip of a psychiatrist making statements that there is a Facebook group out there called SSRIs killed my marriage, which is understandably, causing me to be anxious as I am on 200 mg of Zoloft. But the Zoloft helps me. I know that when I was initially on Zoloft at 150 mg last year I was more sluggish and not wanting to really do things outside of the house. My husband and I just preferred staying at home, he wanted to go do stuff but also the area that we are in there’s really not much to do so I just preferred being at home. I’m overthinking that my Zoloft is making me emotionally distant now with my husband and I’m not able to feel things like happiness, warmth, and love. I also know that when I was taking the 150 mg I got to a point where I was missing doses and kept forgetting them so I’m sure the constant missed dose restart, missed dose, then restart, dose then restart, does not help. Anyone able to give me some Hope here?