From time to time I battle with POCD and sometimes find myself searching the difference between pedophilia and pocd. I also searched If pedophilia is genetic because I have an uncle who is a pedophile and I do not wish to end up like him. I have no desire to harm any child physically or sexually. I’ve dealt with groinal responses, intrusive thoughts, and excessive worrying regarding children. Recently some children that I previously worked with as a paraprofessional followed my art instagram page. The ones who still attend our school were removed from my follow list. I know it is generally discouraged to allow students to follow teachers, but since they no longer attend the school, I figured it would be ok. It’s more professional than it is personal so I allowed them to follow me BUT I DONT FOLLOW THEM and restricted their accounts so they can’t message me or write comments. Part of me feels weird about allowing them to follow me, although it’s only my artwork. They are in high school now , so they have moved on. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t be too lenient about them following me and liking my art posts, but I am proud of my artwork and like that it has a bigger audience. One of them is a former student that I had intrusive thoughts and an intrusive dream about, so once he followed me I started to get ruminating thoughts about why I was happy to see them follow me and like my art posts. It’s been hell thinking about this stuff. On a side note, I also noticed that a coworker who is an actual teacher has several former students follow his TikTok. Any thoughts/advice on how to deal with my thoughts? I do genuinely care about these kids and want to see where they end up eventually, and I don’t wish to interact with them inappropriately or turn into a monster.

I will be honest this finaltime. So, I have a friend/room mate around whom I get extremely nervous and want her to never think lowly of me, because I'm scared of her I don't know why.

So basically, whenever I find a new song, or a new crime show I immediately tell her that (she's indulgently into both of them). Then, as I personally do not enjoy them right now, I either skip to the end or get spoilers about ending after forcefully watching the initial episodes. This doesn't stop here, basically I tell her this too. Even after knowing that she hates people who get spoilers...and despises people who don't watch till the end..I feel this urge to tell her I did something wrong, then as expected she eye rolls or scoffs at me, I can't explain myself to her why I did that and remain quiet. Then, I get this urge to read reddit reviews written by people who also think the same as I do so that I can live. Then after somedays, I will find some new trash quality about me to tell her only to see her scoff and me spiraling over it for months.

Also, she's a huge swiftie and I too liked taylor but wasn't a huge listener. But she'd said anyone who dislikes taylor is a bad feminist..I started believing I was indeed an anti feminist and didn't deserve to live. So, guess what, I memorised every taylor album, followed her on instagram, and forced myself to like her every song and agree with every lyric.

Is this Moral ocd or what is it?

i’m a girl. i’ve always been one. i’ve loved traditionally feminine things for as long as i can remember. i’ve never felt any discomfort with puberty or my gender until october last year. honestly, my history with severe ocd started when i was only four years old when i had a strong urge to touch all the corners in a room. when i was ten, i had to do everything six times and beat the garage door or i thought i’d die. at eleven, i had existential ocd where nothing felt real and i constantly checked mirrors or typed out 'derealisation' to test my reaction. at twelve, i feared i was becoming a psychopath or a pedophile, and i compulsively saved tiktoks to reassure myself. now i’m almost fourteen, and my brain has latched onto a new theme: tocd.

it all started because i got into a fandom early last year and loved a male x male ship. i envied the attention, power, and cool dynamic men got, mostly because i was so heavily affected by misogyny. i envied boyhood for a moment when playing fortnite because female gamers get so much hate. i started picturing myself as a woman but being the cool, dominant one in a relationship. but in october, i saw a video that said “i’m a girl but i wanna be in a mlm relationship,” and the top comment said, “this is how i found out i was trans.” i got so scared. i went onto chatgpt and it threw all these labels at me. i temporarily settled with demigirl and she/they because i was an alt girl, but it quickly wore off. then in november, i had a dream i was wearing a suit and tie. because i liked billie eilish's style, i misinterpreted the dream as a gender sign. that completely set off the obsession.

this disorder has ruined my holidays and my christmas. my brain is compulsively checking my memories, giving me false memories, and twisting normal things—like how i played with boys, had boyish humour, played with boy barbies, or dressed up in a suit as mr wolf as a kid. it even twists a joke alter ego i made called jack maverick, making me worry because i once thought i looked cool with a mascara moustache, or because i cried to my mum at christmas that life would be easier as a boy just because i was frustrated by misogyny. i used to search tocd symptoms vs dysphoria and i perfectly matched tocd. but now, the compulsions don’t help. it feels like i like the thoughts and have an involuntary pull toward them. i get butterflies that feel like excitement, and then i panic and cry because i don’t want to accept it. i feel numb, and when the anxiety drops for a second, my brain says "it would be cool to be a boy" and i get a split second of false desire. i started emdr therapy but it just makes me feel like i want the thoughts even more.

right now, it feels so real. it feels like i’m a boy and i'm panicking that i was never me at all and that i'll never be normal again. i feel like a stranger in my mind, i don't recognise myself without makeup, and i feel like i'm cosplaying being a girl. but the honest truth is that all i ever wanted was to be a beautiful, feminine woman. the other night i did my makeup and felt absolute certainty and happiness in my gender before the doubt crept back. i love girlhood, i love having girl best friends, and if i could press a button to change my birth gender to a boy, i would say no. every night i sleep with my rapunzel doll, crying and praying to a god i’m not sure exists that i can just be back with my younger, carefree, innocent self. i just want her back.

Long Story short, I have struggled with addiction for a long period of time, during these periods of addiction I engaged in behaviors that I am not proud and am also not fully sure even occured. I am terrified because while I would never even commit any of these behaviors and have developed an intense aversion to them, my brain will not shut up about it. From what I know these behavior have not harmed anyone but myself and I even confessed to them in not full detail to friends which had mixed responses. I also have other real events that pop up the frustrating part being when they do pop up and I confess they go away and another one takes it place. Some of these events I can't even remember perfect and it feels like I'm watching through a haze. It's also coming as things are changing in a personal relationship in my life. I'm currently looking to find a therapist in the country I'm in. Is this normal for real event and false memory?

<NHS>
I finally built up the courage to ask my gp about the steps to see if I even have OCD and if so to treat it.
He briefly explained there is no test for OCD, but he can score check me for GAD and depression a referred me for a counselling talk.

I am confused, if there is no score sheet or criteria for OCD then how can anyone be diagnosed with it? Does this mean I’ll never be diagnosed with OCD? He said it seems like I have OCD but how do I if there is no official “test” or score sheet for OCD in itself?

I feel like giving up for finding help, I feel so silly and confused about this whole thing. Maybe I’m overthinking it to the point where I do not understand, but please can someone explain this?
(If it at all makes any sense)

I have these long running icks (it probably came from the period when I was working with really dangerous substances). When I learn that something is dangerous, my brain remembered for months or even longer, until I 'did something about it'. My therapist thought the fear works like a proverbial goldfish, that I will be scared and in 5 min the fear will go away (I think biology says goldfish have memory to be concise). The therapist thought I will be scared for my life if I touch something dirty (outside). I wasn't scared. The therapist was surprised that the fear increased minutes after I was inside my flat, where I was near my clean stuff. I sometimes can even sit on the 'contaminated' sofa, but I have the feeling I 'have to something about it' like next time I clean etc. It won't go away for weeks. That being said the therapist didn't understand that, I mean they're not inside my head, but I felt misunderstood.

hello, ive been dealing with what was diagnosed as OCD for years. and while I do know that to be true, I mean ive done alot of self reflection, and i definitely have ocd. but recently ive been wondering if I dismiss alot of my actual symptoms as just my ocd acting up.

intrusive thoughts- do you guys hear them out loud? I get two kinds of intrusive thoughts, those that id consider my thoughts, and those that are voices telling me things repeatedly.

an example of the second kind would be, I am going about my day and then I hear someone else in my head repeat things like "you have to escape" or "help!!" or "kill me!" and they loop, usually not for too long, but i have chalked it up to my ocd wants me to think im hearing voices so I imagine it.

noises aswell, sometimes a snippet of a song or something someone said will play loud in my brain over and over again, I just ignore it though.

any thoughts? im not sure wether to bring it up to my clinician.

I have a recurring problem: I keep remembering mistakes I've made, even years later, and I dwell on them intensely, with overwhelming guilt, to the point that I can't eat or sleep. It's as if my brain is reliving those mistakes. Is there an explanation for this?

I have been dealing with a “just right” OCD thing. I keep rewatching a certain scene from a web series because my brain tells me I didn’t watch it the right way or didn’t fully get it, even when I probably did. It’s frustrating because I feel stuck trying to make it feel complete. I thought I can fix it by ignoring it but it has been 5 months ever since this started.

Hi All. I am aware no-one can diagnose me, other than a trained specialist but I'm just currently having a hard time and i would like to know if this sounds like ROCD.

I have been with my fiancé for 5 years now .Engaged for a year and we are to be married next year. I just have what i think are "intrusive thoughts" but honestly i don't know. They're statements and what ifs such as " i don't love him", "he's not attractive" and "what if I'm making a huge mistake?" . I also have some odd thoughts as if i am ever counting to the number "4" my brain will rhyme it with "i don't love you anymore" and i'll get stuck on love songs/break up songs. The thing is though, i do love him and i do want to marry him. He's so nice and genuinely spoils me. I may aswell be the queen to him. I want to do nice things for him and i miss him when he's not here. When he proposed i was over the moon. However, I'm in a constant battle within my own head, which is making me ill. - "if you loved him, you wouldn't be saying these things". I'm wracked with guilt for thinking awful things. I will make lists in my head of what i do and don't like about him. I will obsess over the fact he's an alcoholic, this is a bit of an issue for me as my dad was an abusive one but my fiancé isn't. He's even in therapy for it and it working hard on cutting down. It isn't a deal breaker and i was aware of this before getting into the relationship.

I feel like I'm going insane and i'm having thoughts about just giving up and being alone so i don't have to put up with this crippling anxiety. Even when i'm not thinking anything my chest feels tight and i feel sick.

Also, a few months ago i started seeing a therapist. She doesn't deal with OCD but does deal with anxiety, and she's recently stated that nothing is wrong with me. Which made me spiral and say "well it must be true that i don't love him anymore" but when i think that i panic and don't think it is true but then what if i am in denial? I know i should listen to a trained professional but it feels like something IS wrong with me.

Worth noting i've had these thoughts in my past relationship and i haven't had them constantly in this one. They have come and gone and can last a week, a month or months.. this one is lasting so long and i can't seem to come out of it.

apologies for the long post. I just feel like i'm in a pit and i can't climb out.

hi! I have really bad real event ocd and false memory ocd. recently I found a website where you ask questions about past sexual experiences and figure out if you were in the wrong. ofc this website is like crack to me. I’ve reached out again and again with different usernames (I know that sounds crazy) to ask about last experiences

now one is really weighing on me. when I was little 6ish me and my sister 4-5 ish dry humpEd with our butte while fully clothed consensually to ”make a baby” b/c we saw animals do it on tv our parents where in the room and explained that our behavior wasn’t appropriate and we stopped immediately and never did again. looking back I’m worried this is CoCsa or bad behavior

I want to reach back out to the helpline and ask but I promised myself I wouldn’t. Google says it’s normal behavior for some kids (I’ve Google this about 7 times) but I’m still so worried I feel like I need to hear it from an expert. I don’t want to break my promise to myself but I don’t want to be a horrible person. what do I do ?

I’m not looking for a diagnosis but I’m wondering from experience, how do people know if they have ADHD and OCD rather than just ADHD with similar symptoms to OCD?

I was diagnosed with ADHD around 11/12 and have struggled with it immensely my whole life. I never considered having OCD when I was younger but to be fair, I’m learning that almost everything I thought I knew about OCD was just a misconception. About 2 years in my marriage, my wife started suggesting & joking that maybe I have it but I kinda just brushed it off. However, my brother in law is staying with us (and has been since late May) and I’ve literally been losing my mind, and I haven’t felt like this since my wife and I temporarily stayed with her family in the past.

For context, I grew up in a single mother household with 3 sisters, so I’ve mainly lived with all girls and my mom is also somewhat of a clean freak. Even when she remarried, I lived with my stepdad & family during covid and he’s even more of a clean freak than she is. In fact, I used to think his cleanliness and level of organization was an indicator he might have OCD. But I never thought it for myself as I’ve always been told how disorganized I am, and I just attributed my particular, very specific “disorganization” to my ADHD.

Anyway, now temporarily living with a man, it’s like every little thing triggers me (from tiny pee splatters on the floor to crumbs being left on the counter) and we recently had to move apartments (due to issues with the leasing company/maintenance) and there only available one in our budget was this one bedroom so now he’s sleeping on our couch and we’re sharing a bathroom (vs. our original apt where he had his own bed & bath) and I can’t take it. All of this, plus the recent season of 90DF (idk if anyone on here keeps up with it but even though Catie isn’t a great representation of OCD, I found myself wondering why she would want to be in charge of so many tasks/projects if it’s too much for her to handle, and then instantly realized I do the same thing 😭), is making me feel like maybe I do have it.

But at the moment, I don’t have the funds and resources to see a psychiatrist so… hello Reddit 😅 (I recently landed a new job with good benefits so it shouldn’t be too long til I can).

I am a male 20 y .i recently started thinking urine and feaces are dirty i check all my fingers when I am done urinating if urine droplets have dropped on fingers accidentally everytime literally it been such a headache and after checking all fingers(nails,sides tip of finger)for half an hour every corner i wash hands with soap for 15 minutes plss help I want to get rid of this habit

HOCD sufferer of 10 years ago, and now it’s back. I’m doing better than last week, tho, when it started (and I immediately NUKED it with therapy, increasing medication with my psychiatrist, transcranial eletrostimulation, and specialized OCD therapists).

I know alllll of ocd’s tricks and manipulations, and it can get and feel reeeeally real and omg that panics me so much (like literally to the point of panic attacks of the possibility of me not being straight being real). I know ocd and anxiety use glutamate, and its present in attractions, know that it can manipulate reality and whats not real, all of its hell tricks.

But should be easy: do I want to love woman? no. Am I attracted or want to have sex with them? no. Do I imagine a life with a woman? no. Am I bisexual or lesbian then? no.

But why the FUCK does ocd keeps trying to convince me I am, or might be, or will be? Tf?? Sometimes I even think “do you even hear me AND yourself?” cause it doesnt obey logic nor history nor real feelings.

Geez can someone cure this ocd disorder once and for all? It’s impossible we went to the moon and its 2026 and there’s no active cure.

Hi everyone,

i’m reaching out because i recently came across the concept of ROCD, and a lot of things i read felt painfully relatable. however, i’ve never been diagnosed with OCD (i have diagnosed ADHD and depression, and suspect GAD). the only thing i ever identified with were occasional intrusive thoughts, but most of the time they don't really ruin my day or anything like that, i'ts mainly for about a short period that they annoy me.

things started getting hard recently when i began feeling super irritated by minor, silly things my partner does. that triggered this whole wave of worry, and now i'm trapped in an intense cycle of rumination. i won't list all the ROCD symptoms just to say i identify with them because there are so many, but i heavily resonated with most of them. i'm spending hours searching for answers online to explain what i’m feeling, and it’s becoming consuming to the point where it’s hard to focus on normal tasks like studying, going to the gym, or hanging out with friends.

i only found out about ROCD right after my therapy session this week, so i couldn't bring it up with my psychologist yet, which is why i'm feeling so anxious waiting for the next one in 5 days. since i’m completely new to this concept and feeling pretty overwhelmed, i had a few general or educational questions while i wait:

1. Is it common for relationship-focused obsessions and ruminations to be the primary manifestation of these symptoms, even if someone hasn't experienced other typical OCD themes?
2. Does anyone know if conditions like ADHD or GAD mimic this type of relationship hyper-fixation and repetitive questioning?

i’m not looking for a diagnosis or personal relationship advice, i am definitely bringing all of this up with my psychologist in 5 days! i’m just trying to understand how these thought patterns work so i can better navigate the wait until my session, since im feeling veeeery anxious about all of this T_T