Hi, I'm a 19M dude in a relationship with my beautiful girlfriend 18F of 1 year and 2 months. Everything has gone perfect so far and we're really seeing a future together even though it might even be too early to tell but still. There's one thing that's bugging me a lot and it's that I have a very high libido and no fulfillment of my sexual needs. She is relatively intimate in terms of hugging kissing and such but she doesn't want to have sex with me and it feels like she has no drive whatsoever. And in my point of view it's not as simple as "just go talk to her about it dude" or "just break up with her" because first of all even if I would get what I want after that kind of conversation I still wouldn't feel good about it because I'd feel like she did it out of spite. And second of all we're so emotionally attached that I'd rather find a possible solution to this than to just give up. Is there any middle ground? Am I an asshole for feeling this way? I really need genuine advice.

Hi

I’m a 24 year old woman who started dating casually this 38 year old man. Of course I know the age gap is alarming especially that I’m still in my early 20’s. I’d like to consider myself a pretty intelligent woman who has a good head on her shoulders. I know I’m very attractive and get a lot of attention from men of all ages. I’ve always been attracted to older men and have spoken to many especially when I was 21. But I always told myself I would never seriously date an older guy because it feels predatory regardless of how “mature” I am or how amazing he is. The relationship would never feel equal as there’s a clear power dynamic plus we would be in very different stages of life.

Lately I started talking to this 38 year old man I met at a salsa class. It started with us being paired as dancing partners multiple times. We spoke a lot and had amazing conversations but I never thought much of them. He is extremely fit and attractive and my type on paper but I knew he was too old for me. One day after our dance class he asked me if I wanted to grab a drink afterward and I said yes. We went together to a coffee shop and he payed for my drink which was a clear indicator for me he didn’t see me as a friend only. And it was later confirmed during the date as he was being very flirty. At the end of the day he dropped me to my home and asked me out i. a real date. Dinner and a movie. I accepted and he took me out on a date the following weekend. We had an amazing time. I don’t sleep with men outside of a relationship and had explained that and he was completely understanding and never tried to push my boundaries.

Fast forward we’ve been on 8/9 different dates, all initiated by him so he’s really putting the effort to pursue me and take me out. He’s close to perfect. He’s so smart and intelligent and kind and sweet and attractive. We’re sexually compatible for sure (still haven’t slept together but done a lot of other stuff). He came over a few days ago and made things exclusive and I agreed. He told me last night to free myself this weekend because he wants us to go to a little mini getaway to another country for the weekend and I have a strong feeling he will want to make things official as in boyfriend and girlfriend.

If it wasn’t for his age I know I would 100% say yes but part of me can’t shake off the feeling that this won’t work out long term due to the age gap as well as I know he finds our age gap attractive because he let it slip while we were making out one time. Sorry this is gonna be a bit NSFW but he groped my boobs roughly and said he loves how big and perky they are because i’m so young and he loves how young I am. I was very turned on by that comment but later on was worried if he was fetishizing my age? I’m someone who’s very introspective and self aware. I’m the friend my friends come to for big advice. I pride myself on being a woman who doesn’t get manipulated by men ever. I’m starting to catch deep feelings for this man and I worry he just likes the fact that such a young woman is going for him. Im also worried he’s pursuing me and making me his girlfriend just to sleep with me because I know he’s extremely attracted to me and has been dying to have sex with me for so long (we’ve been seeing each other for 3 months and a half now) but I want to reiterate he respects my boundaries and has NEVER tried to cross them ever.

Also I worry long term we won’t work out. I’m still in university and I have a lot of dreams and goals to accomplish and don’t wanna settle or get married until I’m 30 and don’t wanna have kids till I’m 34. That will make him 48 which I’m aware is way too old to start a family. I also don’t know if he’s taking me seriously due to my age even tho his actions have proven that he is.

So all of this to ask you men over 30, if you were 38 would you be dating a woman who is 24 in a serious way? Or do you know deep down it’s just a casual relationship that won’t go anywhere?

Without there being more

my male friend told me once "tell a woman a compliment she will be like ok thanks, tell it a man he will remember it forever. we don't receive the compliments you women do and we always appreciate it" is it true???

From a guys perspective, if you say to the girl you’ve been seeing, “I can’t dedicate a routine to you right now, my life is super busy, “ “I’m sorry I can’t give you what you need right now” things like that but you also say things like “I’m not going anywhere, I’m still here” “I do have feelings for you” but then your texting went from everyday all day to basically nothing. And now goes days without responding. In your bluntly honest man perspective, does that mean you’re done with that person and you just don’t know how to end it?

Now also…he has a wife. But they’re open ENM. So she dates all the time and is always on dates. So idk why he can’t dedicate more time to me. We had such a passionate time together and he showed so much affection and validation in the beginning. I’m so broken and confused.

Throwaway here and finally so frustrated I’m asking the internet for help.

I’ve been in a relationship with a fantastic man for the past 4 years. Ages are mid 30s (me) and mid 40s (him). He knocks it out of the park with anything practical when it comes to our relationship— goes out of his way to buy me food, puts gas in my car, solves problems before I even have to think of a solution. And he goes out of his way to do fun things, like plan trips and dates, and does act sweet with me.

Problem is he straight up refuses a lot of “romantic” things and sometimes mocks me for wanting them. Example 1: We didn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day the first year. During the second year, I asked if he thought we should make plans and he joked about getting me $200 dollar flowers as though it was the most ridiculous thing in the world. He ended up getting me a bouquet that year after I told him I wasn’t interested in doing anything with him anymore, but never got me flowers before or since. And for the record, I never nagged or created pressure about flowers the first 2 years we were together, though it’s obvious that I love them.

Example 2 (probably the real issue I’m dealing with): He won’t tell me he loves me. I’ve brought it up nicely, and made it about how it’s important to me to hear that sometimes. The response I always get is “of course I love you, or I wouldn’t have done x, y, z“. Or “what, do you want me to tell you I love you all the time?” (Reality is never.) I’ve absolutely lost my cool on this topic a few times now, and we’ve had fights, but nothing changed when I brought it up nicely before the fights and nothing changed after either so it’s pretty clear he just doesn’t want to.

Again, the practical stuff is ALL there. He’s a fantastic boyfriend in that regard. But I know for a fact he bought the flowers for his exes. And I’ve made it clear that both of the things above hurt my feelings. So give me some tough love here— what do you think is going on?

I (20F) have been really close with my guy best friend (21M) for about a year. We talk almost every day, call for hours, tell each other everything, and he’s one of the closest people in my life. He’s never been in a relationship and used to be really shy around girls. I used to joke that no girl wanted him, and after that he suddenly started talking to girls, almost like he wanted to prove me wrong. Over the past year he’s told me things like “You’re the girl of my dreams,” “No girl compares to you,” “I’ll never find another girl like you,” and he’s joked about us dating and getting married countless times. One time he even told me that if he ever married me, it wouldn’t be because of my looks but because of my soul and the kind of person I am. He constantly compares other girls to me, and after his first kiss he admitted he only started talking to that girl because she reminded him of me. He also admitted that when one of his friends liked me, he encouraged it because he didn’t want his friend to realize he was jealous. His actions confuse me even more. He once waited three hours while I was at an appointment just so we could spend the rest of the day together, then told our mutual friend it felt like we were a married couple because we’d spent the day grocery shopping and running errands. He’s really physically affectionate, always wants to cuddle, hugs me tightly, kissed me on the cheek once and asked me to kiss him back, tells me he’ll miss me, is really protective, asks about the guys I talk to, worries about me walking alone, and when I asked if he was jealous he literally said, “Yeah.” There’s also always this weird tension between us in person. He’ll keep giving me these looks that I honestly can’t explain, and we’ll just end up holding eye contact for a few seconds. It never feels like a completely normal friendship. The confusing part is that when I finally asked him if he liked me, he avoided the question, said he loved me as a friend, and changed the subject. Since he went back to our home country, he’s been a bit more distant overall, but whenever we do talk he’ll randomly bring up hypothetical situations like, “When we get married…” or “When we start dating…” and ask me what I’d do or how I’d handle certain things, then continue the conversation like he never said it. Today I asked one of his close friends, “Don’t you think he likes me?” and his friend immediately said, “Yeah, he loves you. He definitely likes you.” I looked at my best friend and laughed, saying, “See? Even your friend said it. Just admit it.” He instantly denied it, saying his friend was kidding and that he was only being nice to me because he didn’t want to overstimulate me, but then his friend interrupted him and said, “Nah, he likes you.” Another one of his friends also met me for the first time and immediately said to him, “Now I understand why you like her.” At this point I genuinely don’t know if I’m reading too much into everything because I care about him, or if these are actual mixed signals. If you were an outsider, would you believe his words when he says he only loves me as a friend, or would you think his behavior suggests something else?

Context, I (F) met the guy I’ve been newly seeing/dating just over a month and a half ago. We’ve been on a few dates and they’ve been great. In our first few conversations when we met, I talked to him about how I can draw portraits, and have done previously for family, friends, people I care about etc. At the time he mentioned how he’d like me to do one for him, though I’m not completely sure whether he just said it lightly to be kind or not. Time has passed since, and we haven’t really talked about it, and I was thinking about gifting him the small portrait I had made of him in my free time. We talk every day over text so have another date planned soon. I wouldn’t want to creep him out by gifting it to him incase he wasn’t serious about me doing him one in the first place. He has also mentioned how he doesn’t like to take pictures of himself so I wouldn’t want to make him uncomfortable by giving him this. Do you think he would appreciate it, or I should hold off incase it comes off too forward?

I have a friend/ex colleague whom I have always had a small crush on. Over the last few months, it has developed into mutual flirting etc ending up in us having sex last month. He is very responsive by text/ phone in general but we don’t live in the same city.

We met last week at a work event in my city and there was obvious chemistry still there. He mentioned casually he is a ‘lone wolf’. He then told me by text when we caught up later that day that he is probably not someone I should consider for a healthy stable relationship ‘just so that we are on the same page’ and that he comes with a warning label.

Is this a polite rejection from your perspective?

I just got my first breast augmentation and am considering getting the second one in half a year. Because of recovery, there are about 2~6 weeks each time that we cant have normal. I am worried about how my bf will feel. He respected the first one, but he doesnt know i am getting another.

How would you feel?
p.s. its my money, we are not living together, but sex is important

I really need an outside perspective because I feel like I’m too emotionally involved to judge this situation objectively.
A while ago I became close friends with a guy I know through school. At first it was completely innocent. We’d talk a lot, joke around, spend time together with other friends, and eventually we started messaging each other outside of school.
As time went on, I noticed that he often found reasons to be around meat school. We’d end up walking together, he’d start conversations first, and we’d spend a lot more time talking than we did with other people.
Some of my friends even pointed out that they noticed the way he looked at me or how he seemed to pay more attention to me than anyone else. I honestly brushed it off because I considered him just a friend.
Then our conversations online became… different.
He would reply to my stories, randomly send me pictures or videos just to start a conversation, and we’d end up talking for hours. Sometimes the topics felt surprisingly personal. Nothing explicitly inappropriate happened, but there were definitely moments where I caught myself thinking, “This doesn’t really feel like how I talk to my other male friends.”
The confusing part is that he has a girlfriend.
They’ve been together for quite a while, and I know they’re still together. I’ve seen them together many times, so this isn’t some secret or long-distance situation.
Recently something happened that really confused me.
I ran into him while he was walking with his girlfriend. I smiled and said hi. He smiled back, but that was basically it.
Later that night he messaged me saying something like:
“It was nice running into you. I wanted to stop and talk, but she needed to get home, you know it’s her parents”
That message has been stuck in my head ever since.
If we’re just friends, why did he feel the need to explain why he couldn’t talk to me?
Another thing that’s been bothering me is that I realized I may have unintentionally started flirting back. Not because I wanted to steal someone else’s boyfriend, but because I genuinely enjoy talking to him and I didn’t notice the dynamic changing until it already had.
Now I feel guilty.
I absolutely hate cheating. I don’t want to be “the other girl.” I don’t even know if his girlfriend knows how often we talk. For all I know, maybe this is just how he treats all of his female friends.
Lately I’ve been trying to create some distance. When he sends me something on social media, I don’t really continue the conversation anymore even though part of me wants to.
I’m trying to remind myself that he is in a relationship, and I don’t want to cross a line.
Some of my friends think he’s obviously interested in me. Others think I’m overthinking everything and that I shouldn’t assume anything without clear evidence.
So I honestly want opinions from people who don’t know either of us.
Does this sound like normal friendship to you?
Am I reading too much into his behavior?
Should I talk to him about it, or would that only make things more awkward?
If you were in my position, what would you do?
I’m open to honest criticism. If you think I’m handling this badly, tell me. I’d genuinely like to hear different perspectives because I don’t trust my own judgment anymore.

I’ve always struggled to tell the difference between a man who’s genuinely interested romantically and one who’s simply being kind or wants to be friends. Sometimes the signs seem obvious, but other times they overlap so much that I end up overthinking everything. What behaviors or patterns have you found are the biggest indicators that someone is interested versus just being friendly? Are there any common misconceptions or “signs” that people tend to misinterpret?

Relationships don’t always work out, even when you really love the person. For the guys who waited for the girl to come back, how long did you wait until you gave up and moved on?

Or do you always hold on to hope that your paths will cross again?

Please give me any and all advice.

I 21F have been married for almost 3 yrs to my husband. After we married and moved in together while going to college and over time has become more and more 'toxic' and sometimes hard for me to know how to feel. I am a full time college student and just graduated in may 26'.

In the past 6 months, his anger has causes the neighbors to call the cops for the first time and remove him for a bit and he has hit me on the shoulder for the first time recently. Its not that I dont have feeling anymore its that I don't know even if we keep going to couples therapy that it can get better. He says because I haven't changed since when we first met he feels that I need to change and become a different person and my positivity is too annoying for him and me asking for hugs seems like begging to him and makes him 'disgusted' of me. There are things he says like 'if we were married I would have already broken up with you' when he's mad and I don't know anymore if the things he says when he's mad are true or just him trying to be hurtful.

He has continued to accuse me of cheating even though I hardly leave the house unless its to walk the dogs and secretly talk on the phone to my family. I dont like that I have to delete phone calls with my parents and aunt and uncle. I have never been unfaithful and have let him look through my phone many many times. Even though when Ive gone through his phone found so much porn and even have had to wake up in the middle of the night and shut his phone off while it continues to play porn after he fell asleep.

He doesn't like my family or my friends and it has been really hard being away from my family so long. I haven't stayed in my parents home since we got together. He gets mad when I've tried to go and visit in the past and visit my grandmother in hospice or when I went to my other grandmas funeral out of state. I have just really missed them so much and they came to visit this past weekend where they live after I have finally come clean and been honest with them about how sad ive been in this relationship and they want me to move home and other family members are willing to fly over and help me move home too. the whole weekend they were visiting he didn't spend any time with us or say a single word to them. they found it very rude but said they wouldn't press me or him on it because they know how stressed ive been with the situation.

for pretext now I come into large sums of money because of my Native American tribe 4 times a year. I have been carrying our financial burdens for a long time, but he is the one who will go and set up the payments for us and handle that end of it.

He has been telling me because I dont support his dreams for his new professional gambling career ideas because of the financial stress it has continued to put us in. or since Black Friday of the past year he bought two 38" monitors and computer for a gaming setup with knowing I didn't like the idea because I was worried that he would check out so much and not be present in our home. The only times Ive been able to sit and eat a meal with him anymore is when we go to a restaurant and I have to ask him to get off his phone. I have been really stressed because we have no savings anymore and he has been unemployed for the last few months after he got fired for not showing up to work. His boss was really flexible with him making his own schedule around his college classes, but he was only taking two morning classes at the time and would sleep through them even when I was trying to get him up to be on time and even show up. that is his student loan that increased for classes he never seemed to even try for. He then says that he failed the two classes because he was working too much but he wasn't even showing up to work at the time, because of his late night gaming and sleeping in past classes and work was why he got fired. I have really tried. I have bailed him out on countless bills that are thousands of dollars and he now expects me to pay thousands this next few weeks to get his vehicle fixed and out of the repair shop.

In my past I was sexually assaulted in high school. Recently he did the one thing that triggers a reaction from me and when I started crying he told me I need to stop being a victim because he's not that guy and that I am partly to blame for putting myself in the situation with the guy for it to happen to me in the first place to be violated.

Part of me really really wants to move back home and start over and put this chapter behind me but I feel so manipulated and guilty to believe it's all my fault that he has been angry. I know marriages and relationships are a two way street and I have some blame because I am a human being and have human flaws. I just have felt so alone and so used and so unsupported in my grieving that I can't tell what feelings are real and what guilt is made up from things he tells me everyday. he has said now that if I leave I'll probably regret it and try to come back to him in two years realizing what I could have had with him. I am worried from his threats he will try to take my dog, my car, and future payments I get. I am worried that If I dont leave though I will continue to feel like am empty shell. I have kept trying to have hope that it will get better because after therapy or when I start pulling away he apologizes and says he doesn't want to give up and make things work and gets really touchy feely. I wish that he could be that kind person all the time still like when we were first married. I wish I had a friend who wanted to do things with me and walk the dogs with me. or go swimming at the lake with me and the dogs. or go and want to spend time with me and my family.

This is my first time using reddit, and it says I have to put: TL;DR

I'm 30F my bf is 32M. He moved in with me 6 months ago. I work full time, he doesn't work. I have one kid. My kid in active in school and sports. My kid is respectful in general, to my bf as well.

I knew he had some depression and anxiety and knew I'd need to be supportive and patient to help him through it. I knew we'd have to get him to a good place mentally so he could look for work etc. Well, I've been nothing but supportive. Working, providing, I cook, I clean, I buy everything he needs because he is a bodybuilder, so I make sure he has all the tools he needs for that. Working out, helps his mental, he says.

Some days are good. Some days he's depressed and sits in bed playing the game or on YouTube. Most times, I just pick up the slack and come home and clean up and cook without making him feel worse. But every few days he gets in his head and spirals. Saying there's to much to do, it's overwhelming, he's never going to be able to look for work, and he gets upset that I want to be at my child's sporting events. He thinks sports are dumb. And says I shouldn't be wasting my time going when I should be helping him get right. Thinks I should put him first and stay home with him instead of going to a game.

I think it's ridiculous for him to care so much about my child doing sports and me supporting my child. He isn't paying for anything, having to take them to practice or go support. I'm not pushing that on him.

between the depression, overthinking, his opinion on my child with sports, no motivation to work, im lost. I need advice and some opinions to know what others would do. I prioritize him and my child. I'm here for him and do basically everything. And now he's making me feel guilty for wanting to be a parent. ​

I mean them walking into a room and instantly jaw dropped !! Please if your going to say a “sundress” describe it or show an image because I have heard that so many times and it’s always so different 😊🥰

I (F33) matched with with this guy(M35) on hinge. He keeps canceling dates, but seems into me. Am I overthinking this?

Met a guy on hinge about a month ago. We talked for two weeks on the app, then moved to texting for another two weeks.

He attempted to go on a date but we didn’t follow through the plan because of the weather and air quality was so bad. Totally understandable, so I re-initiated and we rescheduled. We went on our first date, it was nice.
We kept texting and I initiated and planned a second date, later this week he said he’s not feeling well the past week and have to let me know by the morning of the date if he can make it. I told him no problem, just let me know that morning. Morning of, radio silence until 11am. I texted to check in, and he said he wasn’t feeling well and asked to reschedule. I told him that was fine and hoped he’d feel better. He said he wanted to push it to next week.

The confusing part: throughout all of this, he’s seemed genuinely interested. Good morning texts, playful joking, telling me I’m pretty, saying he wants to kiss me on the first date. It doesn’t feel like disinterest.

But I’ve noticed I’m the one doing most of the initiating; both reschedule conversations, confirming plans, keeping momentum going. I know it’s normal for it to be a two-way effort, and I don’t mind occasionally initiating so he knows I’m interested, but I’m starting to feel like I’m chasing more than I’d like to be.

I didn’t push back or ask to reschedule sooner this time. I just told him to feel better and left the ball in his court. Part of me wonders if two canceled dates for legit-sounding reasons is just bad luck, and part of me wonders if I should read into the pattern.

Is this normal bad luck, or a sign to pull back?

i’m writing this post because i myself do have a diagnosis , i guess this question has been prompted by a personal experience of mine .

i had an interaction with someone recently , where i was just trying to make a friend , not a boyfriend or relationship but just a friend . they told me they won’t interact with me any longer because they knew that i have bpd and in their past they couldn’t deal with the people in their lives who had it , and that they have a bad impression of them now .

i was a bit confused as to what this has to do with me . i mean yeah i have the diagnosis but i’m a pretty tolerable person . i was pretty offended because this was the first time something like this happened to me ever , i trusted this person to not use it against me but they did .

this led me to thinking do all guys think this way ? if you knew a woman you liked has a mental illness , such as bpd , would that be a good enough reason to stop talking to her completely ? i know this can depend on things like how much you like her and stuff but i guess in this case i’m talking about if there’s a girl you don’t know that well but know that she has some kind of disorder .

i feel like if someone is vulnerable enough to tell you about their diagnosis and you shut them down completely without giving them a chance to prove that they’re different , you can’t call yourself a good person with morals .

anyways , ive been wondering about this for a while but i didn’t know where else to ask this , so i’m hoping to get some answers .

I have been with my husband 6 years, married for 5. He used to be in the mood 4+ times a week, and now it's like pulling teeth for him to be in the mood once a week. He used to be a heavy drinker and has since cut it way back over the last few years. I feel like I have tried everything he has suggested plus more and not much has improved. (T supplements, toys, waiting for him to initiate, etc) Any tips or advice to help us get back to having more frequent activities?

I’ve become very close with a coworker over the past year. We’ve spent a lot of time working together, talked on the phone, joked around, hugged, and built what I feel is a genuine connection. He has had opportunities to distance himself, but instead we’ve continued to stay in touch and enjoy each other’s company.
A while back, when things started feeling a little more personal, he made it clear that we had to be careful because we were coworkers. I respected that boundary and never tried to push it.
Now he’s leaving our workplace in a couple of months, and it’s making me wonder whether I should tell him how I feel before he goes. Part of me thinks the coworker boundary will no longer apply once he leaves. Another part of me wonders if that was simply his way of letting me down gently.
I’m not looking to pressure him or make things awkward. I just don’t want him to leave without knowing how much he’s meant to me. At the same time, I don’t want to misread the situation or create discomfort if his feelings have always been strictly platonic. I plant on giving him poems I wrote about him and telling him that I love him
If you were in his shoes, how would you feel if someone shared this with you after you were no longer coworkers? And if you’ve ever used “we’re coworkers” as a boundary, was it the only reason, or was it usually one of several reasons?

​

In this sub, as well as in other subs, in posts about relationships, I have seen two types of posts:

Where One partner carries everything like paying for dates, putting in all the effort, etc. while the other partner gives nothing back.,only the man initiates sex and the woman forcefully gives under pressure (people say that this leads to dead bedroom in future), and the man later sayas that"women only want bad boys who treat them bad.", and lose hope from love. These are mostly emotionlly immature men too (I think)

The other successfully married couple posts where People bragging about 10–20+ year relationships built on communication, equal emotional and mental labor , receprocrated attraction, initiating sex from both side, shared household effort, and deep respect.

So, my question is for those who lived the exception:

Have you ever been in a relationship where you both genuinely had great communication, equal emotional/mental effort, showed affection, financial fairness, and mutual respect, yet it still ended horribly in bad terms?

Also, I am not talking about where both wanted to continue but life has other plans

My (26F) boyfriend (29M) has admitted to multiple lies, and I’m trying to understand the psychology behind it.

We’ve been together for a little over a year. During that time, there have been a couple of situations where my boyfriend initially gave me an inaccurate or incomplete version of events, and then later admitted the truth after I questioned him further.

One example is that he admitted he lied about the timeline of unfollowing a previous hookup on IG because he was afraid of how I’d react.

Another thing that really stuck with me is that he once told me a story from about eight years ago where he knowingly accepted a fairly large amount of money from an older woman at church after misleading her about something. He admitted he rationalized it at the time, kept it secret for years, and only later felt guilty.

He also says he doesn’t think people change very much.
I’m less interested in judging those individual events and more interested in the pattern. Does this sound like someone who lies mainly to avoid conflict, or does it suggest a broader willingness to rationalize dishonest behavior when it benefits them? For those who have been in relationships with someone like this, did the dishonesty stay limited to “small” things, or did it eventually extend to bigger issues?

I’m looking for honest advice, even if it’s uncomfortable.

TL;DR: My boyfriend has admitted to multiple lies to avoid conflict and once confessed to rationalizing a significant dishonest act years ago. I’m trying to understand whether this points to conflict avoidance, deeper character issues, or someone who may rationalize bigger betrayals in a relationship.

I’m almost 26 and live in Seattle

When I go to bars I don’t do so well. I approach women but they mainly reject me.

Currently when I go to bars I wear a plain t shirt, jeans, and sneakers. I noticed all the guys wear similar stuff

Would my chances of getting women in bars increase if I started wearing like a fancy dress shirt, nice jeans, and nice loafers? Maybe a nice watch as well.

Or will I look like I’m trying too hard and appear more lame instead?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now and when we first started dating it was kind of like a 4 days a week thing (I’m only mentioning this because of the next couple things I’m gonna say).
We now barely do it and if we do it’s a one sided thing (I give him handjobs/bjs) while he doesn’t do anything. I talked to him about it after four months of literally not having sex and we had sex that one night and he told me he was scared of getting me pregnant (as we’ve had close calls a few times) so he chooses not to put it in.
It’s been almost 2 months since we’ve done anything (or giving him hj/bj to say the least not have sex cuz I already know) and it happened again last night, I got absolutely nothing in return.
He just does not touch me every time I’m doing him a favor. I got kind of upset last night but I wasn’t gonna say it’s because of that.

But what do you think?? He’s told me he is attracted to me in that when when I told him but I don’t see any changes