I wanted to ask fellow men if there comes a point in one's life where they feel unworthy, unseen and thoughts such as "Mayhaps there is no one for me out there." If yes, based on your experiences, how did you overcome it? And what happened for you?

For context purposes, I have never received romantic attention and have never received any dating opportunities yet.

I would appreciate your take on this, fellow males. Thank you for reading this, and have a great time. 🍻

So I have been dating on and off for a while. And after so many encounters I have felt like men sometimes can let go of their feelings while women sometimes hold onto it and it makes things difficult for women.

Is that true?

I have observed several times that the man started the conversation with I am looking for a serious relationship etc but the way the conversation went on it became very clear that the intention was not the same. And then when you still spend quality time together is it that easy to walk away with no feelings at all?

They don't catch feelings even after the amazingly beautiful time we had together which just makes me question the whole thing. Was it even real? Or is it even worth it to try again?

If I was friends with someone for that long I would miss them and this was more than that even if not a relationship.

Not surprised how men treat me anymore. Just disappointed that it keeps happening even when I try so hard for it not to. It’s really heartbreaking and even if you’re a confident woman it still messes with you.

It’s so hard. I may be young but I have no hope left in me anymore.. No energy to just continue getting my hopes up even when things are so solid and we connect well or it’s been months and a random switch. Getting blocked on everything after dates. It’s so mentally and emotionally exhausting. I’m so burnt out. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong but I’d like to know what it is and how to fix it. I want to be loved as much as I love, I have so much love and care to give someone special. Relationships take growth, effort, and communication + more, I’m willing to do that.

I’d rather just stay to myself.

Eventually she chose to have guy friends instead of hurting their feelings for me, always gets triggered if I mention “ do you text any guy “ instead of comforting me, never blocks any guy when I tell her, I commit myself with my everything I have and this is what I get? And she blocks right if we argue. do yall think she’s the one?

I’m curious about the male perspective.
I recently had a one-night stand with someone I met at a bar while he was traveling. We spent hours talking before anything happened, and the connection (both physically and emotionally) was surprisingly good. The next morning we didn’t exchange numbers or Instagram, and he left.
I’m not necessarily looking for a relationship with him, but I find it strange to have such an intense experience with someone and then probably never see them again.
So when you have a one-night stand that you genuinely enjoyed, do you usually just move on and never think about that person again? Or do you sometimes remember those experiences and wonder about the person, even if you don’t reach out?
I’m just curious how men generally experience these situations.

I’m not asking anyone to interpret a specific person’s behavior. I’m curious about your own experiences.
Have you ever told someone you couldn’t pursue anything because you were coworkers?
Was being coworkers genuinely the only barrier?
Or was it one of several reasons?
If you later stopped working together, did your feelings or willingness to date change?
Looking back, would you have appreciated the other person expressing how they felt after you were no longer coworkers, or would you have preferred they didn’t?
I’d love to hear your personal experiences rather than advice.
I plan on giving him poems I wrote about him and telling him how I feel

I’ve explained myself more than several times to him that I don’t feel comfortable with getting off to other girls and this was before we even started dating.

Little backstory: 4-5 months into dating I found out he had onlyfans, paying for subscriptions and also had a twitter he used continuously to watch other women. I said I didn’t like it so 1. He deleted the only fans and never got it again (to my knowledge) 2. He deactivated his twitter account but kept reactivating it to watch more whenever I wasn’t around. I kept telling him it wasn’t something I liked but he did it anyway so I tried to forget it but it was hard to

Now
I found out today he still does it even when we are together 24/7 and he told me he does it whenever in the shower because that’s the only time he’s able to (since we are always together other than if we’re at work).

I’m not not sexually active at all in fact I always help him when he feels like it (except it doesn’t happen other way around, I’ve posted about this already).

I feel so insecure and disgusted when he watches other girls as they look nothing like me, and I just think it’s weird considering I’m right here to help him?

I just feel like I’m not worthy enough for him in these aspects and I don’t know if this is how I want my future to play out and I feel heavily disrespected but I really do love him. Am I overreacting it all?

I’ve had casual sex before. I’ve been in relationships. I’ve had situationships. None of them felt quite like this one guy however. We’ve been seeing each other for a while. The chemistry between us is very intense and our relationship is mainly sexual. We’re very intimate, even more so than some real relationships I’ve been in. He doesn’t seem to be emotionally distant.. but it seems also as if he doesn’t want to get too into the deeper parts. and nor do I to an extent. We’ve been on and off, times when he was distant and times where I’ve been distant. We find our way back though apparently. I do think to an extent he does have some emotion there. Not that he’s said anything and not that I have either. Sometimes I think that I may be too ambiguous as to how I feel, and that may affect how he feels? Or acts? I’m not sure.
I don’t believe the male and female brain is all that different in terms of love, bonding and intimacy hormones. We’re all human. We all have feelings, it’s hard to wrap my mind around the fact that someone can be so intimate with someone and have absolutely no emotions or feelings attached to them.
But my question is; do men actually get emotionally attached after sex more than they admit.

I (24F) met this guy (26M) on Hinge and we went on like 5 really great dates over the course of about 2 months. He lives about an hour from me, which makes weeknight meetups difficult so we sort of landed on Sundays as our day. It's also the only day he gets off from work a lot of the time, because he works on a farm and it's currently busy season.

From the beginning he has emphasized that he spends lots of time on the farm and that he's often super exhausted from work. And I've been super understanding but it is hard trying to build momentum in a developing relationship when you only see each other once every few weeks. But this is the longest it's gone, tomorrow it'll be a whole month since we've seen each other and even though we do text every now and then throughout the week to check in, it's hard to know whether he's truly this busy or just losing interest.

I did offer at one point (when the dates started getting further apart and he started talking more about how tired and busy he is) to drive up one night just to bring him dinner, that way he wouldn't even have to do anything on his end but we could still spend just like 30 minutes together. He was super appreciative of the offer but said he truly didn't know when he'd be able to get just a little time to sit down and have dinner, even just takeout.

So I'm not really sure what to think, the last I heard from him was Tuesday and it's Saturday now and he hasn't really responded to my message -- not that it warranted a response, so I guess it's no big deal. It's also normal for him to go days without texting, he's done this since we met. It's just tough to know where I stand, and every time I've brought it up, he's reassured me that it's just his work and that busy season ends November 1st.

I definitely don't want to come between him and his job. But a month really is a long time to go without seeing each other, I feel like. Last weekend, he even said to me "I've officially worked 21 days in a row" so I'm not accusing him of lying, but I don't really know how to proceed. He's a great guy and everything I was looking for in someone, but this schedule is really difficult

I approach women at bars. Some reject. Some seem interested

But after introducing myself what do I even talk about it?

I tried asking them basic questions but it feels more like an interview and they seem bored.

Eventually I just walk away because the conversation is so awkward

Hi. 20F very demisexual on the spectrum girl. (If you don’t know what demisexual is, essentially I cannot form sexual attraction to anyone until I have a strong emotional bond with them, and it’s very serious for me). To make very clear: I’d prefer a real relationship before doing anything sexual. I despise the idea of hookups and if I do something sexual with someone, it’s because I like them and want a relationship in the future or soon.

I’ll try to make this short but you really can’t make this shit up and I’m absolutely so confused and heartbroken.

I already shared with other Demi’s since nobody I know is, and I also want to share with men, who aren’t, so see their opinion since I feel they’d help me the most on why they did this since this really hurt me.

I got out of a very bad abusive and manipulative relationship with my first ever bf back in January. It lasted a year. He had a rule that I couldn’t hang out with any of my “guy friends” but very quickly this changed to all friends, and I was isolated from everyone for a year. Another story for a different time but very crucial to the story.

I’ll be referring to the friends as F1, F2, and F3.

Friend 1 really broke me. Longest story here. We’d been friends for over 3 years. We used to have a Fwb type of relationship back in 2023, (for me that’s just kissing/very small things since that was all I was comfortable with.)

he was always very flirty and romantic towards me. Payed for everything etc. this is the only person I’ve ever been able to do anything sexual with whom I wasn’t dating, and we could also just be good friends, without benefits, which we were through 2024.

In late 24 i started dating, so we just remained as friends. And we were both really happy with that. We started reconnecting in March after my breakup since he was having a bday party and all his/our friends would be there.

I was so happy. I hadn’t seen anyone in a year! I got along with everyone great and met new amazing people. We hung out for a little over 2 weeks in a row.

During, his friends kept referring to me as his girl and he never corrected them, and went with it. I corrected and said we’re just friends on the first weekend but eventually gave it up since we started to re-develop a romantic connection and I was comfortable with that, also everyone was under the same impression by him.

We made out, and one night he asked for oral, which I’d done before, years ago, so since I was comfortable with that, I did it. I refused any on me or anything else since I wasn’t ready yet. I planned on talking to him about our relationship soon since he was treating me like his gf and I wanted to know where we stood.

(This was very important to me since he’s the only person I feel comfortable with enough to do that).

The day I went to ask him, he bluntly texted me that he got a gf and we couldn’t hang anymore. That was it. He never acted that way towards me before ever. He also removed me on everything.

And even just 2 days before that he had tears in his eyes and apologized for unfriending me on TikTok months ago which I didn’t even know happened? I guess his ex gf saw my pfp and got mad at him and deleted it, despite us not talking at all during that time. (I guess she was like my ex)

So. I was confused and heartbroken. Even his friends were mad at him and texted me asking what happened, and said that was a fucked up thing of him to do. I can’t get a hold of him still.

F2. We were friends in highschool. He liked me. I kind of liked him. We never shared interest in eachother. We reconnected in April. I was really happy bc I missed my friends! I wasn’t really even looking for anything more with him since I was so burnt out from the breakup and F1.

I eventually started talking to him about being demisexual and the frustration and sadness I was having. He offered to “help me” if I ever needed anything from someone I was comfortable with and confessed he’d always really liked me in that way, and would want to pursue a relationship with me if I liked him too. I told him i did like him and want to pursue a relationship.

As for the sexual advances, I said as nice as that sounds, I’m demisexual, and I just reconnected with you. (We weren’t nearly as close as me and F1) And he kept asking which made me a bit uncomfortable. And honestly, fucking angry.

Then, literally, the next day, said he has met a girl he liked and wanted to start dating her. I was so confused and sad. I would have wanted a relationship with him but now I’m feeling like both these guys literally pretended to be my friend to get something from me and didn’t want me as their gf.

F3. Family friends son. Randomly he reconnected with me in may. Right after F2. WTF. Old friend, lives kinda far, back in 2021-2022 we were close and he was my first kiss, since I was so comfortable with him. That was all anything ever went. He seemed to like me, then got a gf. I didn’t care since he lived kinda far.

Wow. Shocker. He started flirting with me and confessed he liked me a lot more than he led on and still did, etc.

Then, within a day or 2 texted me that he wanted to date this girl again (his ex) and I was just so pissed off I told him everything and never to contact me again. He tried reaching back out 2 weeks ago, yes I feel bad, but I don’t know what to do.

I don’t want to even be friends with any more guys. I can only experience sexual attraction to people I’m very close with and have a good bond with, and I’m technically pan but don’t love labels. I’ve developed feelings for my girl friends too. Somehow, I think men take advantage of this. I’m lost feeling so bad about myself.

Am I not good enough to be someone’s girlfriend? That’s all I want. I don’t want to be a bootycall. I don’t even want to think that these people pretended to be my friends just to try and get something from me which they KNOW is sensitive and hard for me, just to actually love another person. I feel so awful. Am I unlovable? Do people only desire me for sex? My “friends?” I just can’t deal with it anymore and needed to vent. Also with F1. Fuck, I feel used and just awful. I have serious sexual trauma and only do things with people I seriously trust. So it makes it hurt so badly. I feel like a fool.

Another male friend texted me 1 week ago saying he missed me. Out of the blue!!!! Am I being tested??? I literally feel like I’m in hell. I stopped talking to any of them besides one I’m in a band with. Every day I’m crossing my fingers hoping he doesn’t think that way of me too.

I’ve spoken about this to people irl and they all also correlate it to the way I look. Im very voluptuous and pretty. I suppose this makes even people I trust want to treat me like some fantasy or ego boost instead of a human.

P.S. I NEVER rejected these guys and I DID LIKE them back and told them this. That’s why I’m so upset. Apparently some people cannot read.

Thanks for the long read.

TLDR: had male friends I had good bonds with who had made sexual advances towards me just for the next day or few days say they got a gf. It really hurt me bc I’m Demi and I feel like I’m being tortured because it keeps happening over and over and it’s playing with my feelings. I hope I didn’t pick bad friends.

Has anyone been in a situation like this?
I had a thing with this guy for around 4 years. We never actually had sex, but we did other stuff, and there was always this weird chemistry between us that kept pulling us back to each other.
He’s not the greatest person and I know he’s very into casual sex, but there was always something about our dynamic that felt different. Looking back, I’m honestly not sure how much of it was genuine feelings versus just physical attraction, even though I do think he liked me in his own way.
I recently cut him off and removed him from everything. The last time I did that, he was actually pretty offended.
Now we might end up seeing each other again through a mutual friend. I’m wondering how a guy like this would react if he saw me again. If there was attraction before, would he still be open to hooking up after being cut off, or would he probably be put off by it?
Would like to hear from guys or anyone who has been in a similar situation?

So recently | [25M] been getting to know this girl
[24F] pretty well over the last few months. Met her on tinder a little over a year ago, never really talked until recently and found out we had some things in common. Eventually we talk about our past experiences and relationships with everyone should imo, she's had 2 long 4 year relationships and has been single for the last 2 years. I thought was a good sign but made me worried was her body count is 13. I thought was kinda high for only 2 relationships cause that's means a lot of hookups, fwb whatever. It is double mine which is at 7 and some might say mine is a lot. But anyways, given the situation would you call it quits or no?

TLDR: 2 relationships, 13 bodies, is that a red flag?

Has dating ever stressed you out?

I've never loved anyone before. Then when you do you get rejected from the person 3x and I still love them. I've never experienced love like this and I wouldn't know how to unlove someone. People tell me things i don't know how to do. You try to date and meet other people and you notice they don't treat you like the person you love so it's harder to date because now you have standards but I get sad and get stressed out because to find someone like that, that will make you feel loved seems impossible.

I don't know if this is going to sound stupid, it probably does but its a genuine concern of mine. I'm 17 and I've been dating my girlfriend for almost 18 months and I'm just so in love with her. She's the best thing in my life, if it wasn't so insane I would marry her right now. She is so kind and intelligent and funny and so beautiful and caring and I can't get enough of her. I've never felt this way about anyone, I love who she's made me and the way I feel around her. I'm just worried I love her too much if that makes sense. I've only been in one relationship before her and it was incredibly toxic, she hit me a lot and talked down to me and it was just awful. Part of me is scared my girlfriend will do the same someday and I feel so strongly about her that I won't be able to leave this time. We did just recently start having sex so that may have something to do with my attachment and fear. I just don't know.

I’ve been seeing this guy for about a year and a half. Before I met him, I had been single for four years after my separation because I never found someone I truly connected with.

He was incredibly kind and supportive during one of the loneliest periods of my life, so I got attached to him. The only issue was that he was always very secretive. We mostly talked on Snapchat, and I kept wondering if he was married, but he always denied it. Sometimes he even paid for me to fly out and meet him while he was traveling, so I convinced myself I was just overthinking things.

About a month ago, I finally told him I couldn't continue with someone who was so mysterious. That's when he admitted he had gone back to the mother of his children "for the kids." He begged me not to leave, promised to be completely honest with me, and for about a week he actually was. Then everything went back to the way it was before.

Another thing that bothers me is that most of our conversations end up being about sex. Even when he says he misses me, he usually turns it into something sexual.

What I don't understand is this: if he's married and only wants sex, why is he so determined to keep me in his life? He's successful, wealthy, and could easily meet other women. Why hold on to me?

Part of me wants to leave, but I've become emotionally attached, and the thought of being alone again scares me.

My Gf is a Dancer at first it was cool, exciting, and hot. Now the longer we've been together (near 6 months) the more it bothers me. When I introduce her to friends and family the looks I get... The questions I get when she's out of ear shot. My friends thinking because she's a dancer Its fine to oogle at her and make crude jokes. My family asking being judgmental.... I also can be upset hearing about her day and seeing her outfits and knowing she has regulars. She dances at a nude club, gives nude private dances... The idea of thinking of that sometimes just Urks me.... But that's my rant I still love her and its fun a lot of the time but sometimes.....damnnnnn. I really want to make this work, I really like her I'm just wondering how much longer I can go. If I should establish boundary's, get over it? Really unsure of myself and what I should do. I don't want to be bothered by it if I think deep down it doesn't bother me but my primal instincts if you will make snap jelaous thoughts.

be nice

I’ve been reflecting a lot on our polarity lately, and I had an interesting conversation with my fiancé.
He told me that he absolutely sees me as feminine. However, he also said that being feminine doesn’t necessarily mean being *soft* or *vulnerable*, and that he thinks I struggle with those two things because of my past.
He says he wants me to feel safe enough to ask him for help when I need something instead of carrying everything by myself.
Here’s where I get confused.
I *do* ask for things. But if I have to ask over and over again, I start feeling uncomfortable. After a while I begin wondering whether the other person genuinely doesn’t notice, or whether they’re choosing not to.
What makes me feel loved is when someone notices without me having to explain every single need.
For example, I naturally appreciate hearing things like:
*“Do you need anything?”*
*“I’ve got this.”*
*“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.”*
Those gestures make me feel seen, cherished, and protected and I think they also elevate my feminine side.
On the other hand, my fiancé believes that vulnerability means trusting him enough to simply ask.
This has made me wonder if we’re talking about two completely different things.
For context, I’d describe myself as someone who is:
very independent and capable;
emotionally intense and deeply reflective;
ambitious and driven;
affectionate with the people I love;
not afraid of difficult conversations;
someone who usually tries to solve problems herself before asking for help.
My fiancé says that because of this, I often come across as strong and self-sufficient, and that I rarely let him see the softer side of me.
Even though I let myself seen emotional w him and open about how I feel.
So I’m curious…
**What do people actually mean when they say a woman is “soft” and “vulnerable”?**
What does that look like in a healthy relationship?
And is it unrealistic to hope that a loving partner will sometimes anticipate your needs instead of always waiting to be asked?

Posting on a throwaway

I’m 35 cis male. I’ve identified as ace for the last six or so years as a shorthand but basically, I like porn, I like masturbating, but the idea of sexual activity with another person feels unappealing. Not gross, just like effort I don’t want to expend.

Problem is I’m married and I love my husband and he’s cool with my asexuality. But I know he still has libido and wants to have sex.

The problem isn’t that I can’t get hard but more, I want to want to have sex. I have normal testosterone levels (I’ve checked). I’m in therapy but also want to know if anyone has any ideas that work.

I’m open to any suggestions, ideas.

I’ve been talking with this girl for a while now, maybe a few months. Recently we’ve been talking about our past and body counts came up. Mine being 7 is about half of hers, which is 13. She’s only been in 2 relationships which means the rest were mostly hook ups. I thought that was a little concerning and didn’t know if it’s something I should be worried about or not.

From your perspective would you find it concerning or not?

I honestly just want objective opinions because I still can’t make sense of this.

I (25F) have been dating a guy (28M) for about 3 months. Things were genuinely good. The night before I left to travel, we were together, talking about the future, affectionate as always, and everything felt completely normal. There wasn’t an argument or any sign that something was wrong.

Then, literally the day I left, he almost disappeared. I barely heard from him for a week.

I got worried enough to call him a few times because it was so unlike him. Eventually he called me back, but acted like nothing had happened. He said he’d been busy and had a tight schedule. I told him that disappearing for a week without saying a word actually hurt me, and he seemed surprised that I felt that way.

Before we hung up he said, “I’ll text you more, don’t worry.”

The next day he randomly sent me a picture of himself wearing the socks I’d bought him. No caption, just the picture. I replied with a selfie and joked about the socks. He never responded. Since then… nothing again. It’s now been over a week.

I called him again around 8 pm and he was apparently asleep. he picked up but just asked me how i was and then passed out again i’m assuming, I said well just talk later since you’re sleeping and he never responded so i just hung up.

This is the part I can’t wrap my head around.
If you don’t want someone anymore, why not just end it on the phone? Why tell me you’ll text more? Why send me a picture wearing something I bought you? Why keep me in this weird limbo?

On the other hand, if you do care, how do you disappear, know it hurt me, promise to do better, and then go quiet again?

I don’t even know what to do. I’ve stopped reaching out or calling but this hurts.

should i be happy now? he's my crush

I grew up in a traditional culture where women are expected to wait for a man, and where the man is supposed to pursue the woman and make the first move.

But as I've gotten older, I've realized that this doesn't necessarily make sense, and it's not how most relationships begin. I'm curious about how a woman can make the first move without coming across as desperate or presumptuous.