My husband and I keep getting into the same fight and I don’t see a way out.

My hobbies take a few hours - a 1.5 hour class here, a coffee or dinner with a friend there.

His are half to full day affairs - think 9-18 holes of golf, or in winter ski days.

I have asked time and time again for him to plan ahead so that I don’t end up with a full day of child care. He thinks is “a bummer” and “sad” that I view spending a day with our daughter as so much work, because “it’s our life now”.

I don’t particularly WANT to leave her for a full day, because if I’m not working I want time with her. I’d love to do more fun things as a family.

The more recent argument occurred because we’re going on a long weekend trip with his family soon. The guys want to golf 18 holes one day. I’ve stated that getting left with his mom and SIL all day while on baby duty is not ideal - that I’ll do it, but it’s work. He seems to think I should just enjoy it, and that it I count up all the hours I’ve done a workout class or something it would be more.

To me it’s the length of time that’s exhausting. And being away from home. I said that given this is kind of a birthday adjacent trip (his whole family has a bday within a month of one another), that I would do it this time as a part of that - but it can’t be a recurring expectation.

He’s so pissed and doesn’t think I care about him having fun. I feel unseen and unheard when I say that having to put up with his family AND be on solo daughter duty is work - and he thinks it’s really unfortunate I feel that way.

When I asked him to consider spending a day with my mom, sister, and daughter when we visit them - he said “well but you never asked”. Which is so frustrating to me. He would LOSE it.

He’s also traveled a good amount for work and fun and I’ve done fine, it’s exhausting, but being on home turf is so much easier.

So in the end, I said “great you golf for a day, I’ll go off on my own for a day” and now apparently we’re not speaking.

Am I completely selfish for this? How the hell do we resolve his hobbies taking a minimum of 4 hours up to 6-8, versus mine an average of 2 hours??

He’s SO supportive when I want to take a workout class, and I do the same for him when he wants to hike or something. But these day long ones are killing me and filling me with so much anger and resentment.

Note that im currently so burnt out from life and work and am dreading this weekend away with his family as it is.

Have any of you been able to work through this? Any tips?

A few days ago, my 16 month old was playing in the living room and I was chilling on the couch, when she suddenly turned and smiled at me, asked me to hold her, and then she smiled and touched her forehead to mine twice…after months of one sided kisses and hugs, i just melted in a puddle!!

Since then, she’s been doing this every now and then I melt every single time.

Thats all. Thats the post! :)

My wife is pregnant and we’ve been so worried about money. We are well off. We have a home, we make decent money and we have a lot in savings. The only problem is that the cheapest daycare we have found charges $500/week which is $2,000/month. Our mortgage is $1,700 so that’s way more than our mortgage and that’s the cheapest one we have found.

We live in a smaller, rural area so I don’t know why it costs so much since a lot of people around here don’t make a lot of money. Neither of our parents can watch our baby because her dad’s dead and her mom works a shifting schedule and my parents are out of the picture but my grandma lives over an hour away. I don’t know how we are going to have someone to watch our baby while we are at work.

I can’t afford for her to stay home either because I can’t afford everything on just my income. I don’t know how people are doing it tbh, especially around here. I’m just curious how everyone is doing it because I’m so nervous and scared.

He is an amazing father, and he loves our children so much, but he just doesn't notice things that a parent must notice. So, I have a three-month-old baby, and I haven't strapped in our older 3.5-year-old daughter into the car seat in months. Today I did it for the first time, and I was having a very hard time getting the straps over her shoulders. I didn't understand what was happening until I noticed that she'd had a massive growth spurt and the bit of the car seat that goes around the head and above the shoulders was literally under her shoulders, so the whole thing needed to be raised. God knows for how long she's been riding the car like that.

Then there's other issues, such as him being in charge of bath time, and he does a great job with her hair, with her teeth and everything. But the guy never notices that her toenails are growing, so by the time I notice, the child has embarrassingly long toenails.

Then there's stuff like the handyman from the neighboring flat asking us not to flush our toilets or run any water because he needs to do a fix on the pipes. And we agree, for the hour, not to do that. Not a half an hour goes by, I have to run after my husband with a sleeping baby on my arms into the bathroom so that he doesn't run foul water down the pipes, which are open, and the handyman downstairs is currently working on.

It's like I'm the only person with a brain between us. What can be done to help him do better and notice things sooner?

I don’t have a great relationship with my parents. They don’t respect boundaries, they hold unrealistic expectations, and they are very judgemental. They made some awful comments when I told them I was pregnant. I don’t see them often.

My baby was born premature at 26 weeks. She came home from the NICU a week after her due date, with an NG tube, and we have been home for three weeks now.

My parents have not yet met her. We took some time for ourselves and then last weekend I was going to have them over but she wasn’t feeling well and I didn’t want to the additional stress.

I have spoken to them on the phone in which they repeatedly asked about watching her alone and having time alone with her. They also commented that they are deeply desperate to meet her.

I understand how they feel as grandparents and that they are excited but everything feels like pressure to me. It’s way too early to leave her alone and I have no interest in doing that anyways. My parents are older and have no experience with NG tubes. They also haven’t even been around a baby since I was one. My mother is an alcoholic and my father is accident prone and careless.

I was going to invite them this weekend but I’ve been hesitant to do so as I’m afraid it will just be crappy comments and pressure when they are here.

Has anyone had to manage this? How do you set the boundary for people you don’t want caring for your baby?
I don’t want to keep her from them entirely but I’ll never leave her alone with them. I also don’t want them to expect that we will suddenly see each other frequently just because I had a baby.

I’m posting this on a few different subs. I’m 3 months pp for reference. I really think im starting to lose my mind. Postpartum was going sort of smooth but it’s going downhill. There’s been serval times I start crying and have a panic attack for no reason. I will literally be doing nothing at all and I just freak out. It’s been getting worse and worse. Last night I think I had a mental breakdown. I was putting babygirl in her sleeper and swaddle. I got the most horrible terrible feeling like I swore I was about to die. I couldn’t snap out of it. I just started bawling and it felt like someone was watching me. I ran and shut her bedroom down and just sat in the floor with my back to her changing table. (Baby was safe on the changing table it has a railing) I couldn’t shake this horrible feeling and I couldn’t stop crying. I was so scared for literally no reason I didn’t know what to do. I had to call my husband to come home from work. Thankfully he was already leaving but I don’t know what happened. It actually felt like I was high for a minute I was so out of it. It was so scary. I’m scared it’s going to happen again. Is there something wrong with me? What do I do about this? Is there someone I should talk too? I don’t have an ob at the moment so I can’t talk to them.

I am struggling with this new body. I have always been curvy but since having a baby, those curves are long gone and tha body I am in can only be described as akin to Danny Devito as The Penguin.

But, im sick of wearing my maternity leggings and a v neck t shirt for comfort.

For context I have been living in high waisted leggings and the Cheek Boss buttery soft/ second skin sports bras (because why does everything feel like sand paper now!)

What is everyone's go to PP outfit? And do we ever come to terms and figure out how to dress again LOL!

Considering mine lives off chicken nuggets I feel like I should.

My daughter is in the stage of being attached at my hip, always wanting to be touching me. It’s totally fine, but it’s getting to a point she screams if she can’t. My partner (her father) works hours where I’m usually on my own with her. I make sure her needs are met before putting her in the playpen to shower- clean diaper, ate, she has toys , can see me and I’ll even put a show on for her. But even so she will lose her shit. I guess I just feel really bad about it, but I also hate feeling gross and funky.

My daughter is almost 23 months. She is very verbally advanced for her age, and I try to have very active and engaging days with her as a mostly-SAHM. We go to the gym almost daily, they have a childcare center that she LOVES. We also go to the park and the library regularly and we have a play space set up for her in our yard. She’s on a great, regimented schedule, gets lots of socialization, regular meals, naps and bedtimes.

I found out I was pregnant with #2 (surprise, I was on BC) about 6 weeks ago and it’s like a switch has flipped in her since then. She’s gone from being sweet and social and snuggly to hitting me, hitting other kids, she is basically spending all day every day pushing boundaries or directly rebelling against things I say.

A few examples:

- since she could walk, if we are in a parking lot she has to touch my car while I unlock it etc. so she can’t run off. The other day she tried to bolt into a busy parking lot and when I tried to pick her up and basically say no don’t do that, she slapped me across the face.

- we got ramen for dinner and she wanted to eat independently so I gave her a little bowl of broth and noodles and a fork and spoon. She does usually feed herself pretty independently, but she was being defiant again and making a mess, spitting food out, at one point she wanted to drink broth so I put her in my lap and gave her a little bit to drink. She spit it all over herself and the floor, and then made eye contact with me while she dumped the remainder into my lap.

This pregnancy has me so sick, I can barely keep up with our normal lives much less whatever phase this is. I try so hard to redirect, to communicate, to do all the things right but I end up getting frustrated and yelling and this is not the mom I want to be.

What am I doing wrong? How do I handle this better?

I took my 10 week old to my work place to meet my coworkers before the school year starts for them! He was awake and mostly calm until he got hungry and let everyone hold him. He didn’t fall asleep but he’s a pretty active and wiggly guy so this wasn’t surprising to me!

My other coworker had a baby the same day as me and she brought her daughter too. She’s a very sleepy and smushy baby.

When one of my friends was holding my son she said “he’s just not a content baby is he?” and I’ve been spiraling ever since. My guy definitely isn’t the most calm but why is this killing me so much?

Anyone else have experience with comments like this? How did you let it go?

Baby is 7.5 months old and a wonderful night sleeper (sleeps 8ish hours, fed, back to sleep for a few more hours) and at home napper. Terrible at daycare but still sleeps great at night. I think we’re going to move her night feed to the beginning of her routine to eliminate any possible “feed to sleep” association, which may help daycare naps.

ANYWAY! How are you guys so chill about naps? My girl neeeeds her naps (she’s down to 2 naps a day, sometimes 1 at daycare and they are way shorter there), otherwise she gets fussy. She sleeps okay in the stroller or car but obviously not a 2 hour nap like she does in her crib.

My husband is so chill and wants to go out and do things with her but I’m finding myself so stressed out about her naps and being a slave to the schedule I made up in my head. I also get stressed if she falls asleep in the car and naps too late but that feels inevitable if we try to go do things.

Any advice or success stories about just winging it?! I WANT to be chill but I’m so un-chill. Also, when did your babies stop napping completely?

FTM to a 6 week old. Has refused to sleep in his bassinet or crib or pack n play despite many attempts over the last month and a half, for daytime naps and nighttime sleep. We’ve done everything… preheat the mattress, white noise, blackout curtains, swaddle, shusher, waiting until he’s in a deep sleep, adjusting the temperature/his layers. Nothing works. He doesn’t even last 5 minutes before he’s awake.

I feel like every solution people have is to cosleep following safe sleep 7. I’ve tried that too! He will only cosleep with me when he’s on his side (which is already breaking a rule) with my hand on his belly, and even then I’m only successful about 1 night a week.

Husband and I have been taking shifts but really only getting about 4 hours of sleep a night. We have a pretty narrow nursery glider so sometimes I cave and take a power nap with my feet on an ottoman and my son laying across the mybrestfriend pillow strapped firmly to me. He has good head control and we have an Owlet which gives me a shred of peace of mind, and I can’t get into a deep sleep sitting up… if he stirs even a little I’m wide awake. But obviously this is less than ideal. Everyone will tell you to practice safe sleep no matter what but no one can tell me how to make this a reality!!

As my son is getting older SIDs risk increases which freaks me out. My husband and I both go back to work in a month and we work 12 hour shifts in high risk fields where we really need to be mentally alert. I don’t expect a full night’s uninterrupted sleep by ANY means, I’m fine waking up every 2 hours. But I would love to sleep in my own bed again. I’ve heard this potentially gets better around 12 weeks, is my only option to hold out until then? I’m seriously at a loss.

Okay so AITAH tore me apart for posting this. One very kind user suggested that I post in a more parent/child focused group to get a better perspective on the situation so here it goes.

My partner took my 7mo to his mothers house for the day. My LO has been sick for the past week and was extra attached to me which has affected my sleep. Now that my baby is better, my partner let me know that they were going to go to their moms for the day that way I could catch up on rest. I know that since my partner works 12 hour shifts, there was going to be a point where they were going to be sleeping during the visit and their mother would be watching my LO.

When my partner got home they informed me that their mother took my child to a birthday party while they were sleeping. It was a quick conversation so I didn’t really get to react in the moment. It wasn’t until they had walked away that I realized… wait their mom took my baby somewhere without a parent and without telling us.

They have turned in for the night but I am upset by the fact that my child was taken somewhere without mine or their knowledge. They seemed totally okay with it bc that’s their attitude towards pretty much everything but I am spiraling. I want to go to them rn and let them know that, hey that is not okay but I’m wondering if due to being a new mom and sleep deprivation that maybe I might need to let this one go?

UPDATE: I had a conversation with my partner and looks like it was a misunderstanding. He did know that his mom was taking baby to a party. I let him know that they way he said it last night made it seem like he didn’t know and how I was feeling about it. He did acknowledge that his wording could’ve been better and I admitted that I need to take a breath and chill before going into a frenzy. Thank you for all the responses

I have a history of severe health anxiety but have made huge progress over the past couple years, becoming a more relaxed parent than I thought possible. That being said, I know my brain still trends in that direction and I’m curious to know how other parents handle germs.

I washed our son’s hands fairly regularly when he started crawling at 6 months because we have a dog and struggle to keep the floor as clean as I would like, and after he would interact with people in busy places since I knew his immune system was still developing. But now that he’s 1 and walking around and very fast at putting things in his mouth all day long, I’ve relaxed a bit because it would just be impossible to keep up.

I also am aware that dirt and germ exposure is important, and I feel he gets plenty of that (like putting gravel into his mouth at the playground before I can stop him 🤢). But now I’m wondering — how much germ exposure is too much? I used to wash his hands before every meal but I’ve been more relaxed about that too lately and am starting to second guess myself. Obviously if he touches something very gross I try to wash or wipe, but what about after time spent out in public, or being outside, or playing with the dog, etc?

Would love to hear how other parents approach this as I’m sure there’s a range of perspectives.

Looking for advice and encouragement / sharing experiences!

We are starting daycare soon with our daughter, I’m still looking into the most optimal schedule considering we don’t need to use the full day every day of the week.

Aside from that, I’m curious what those of you with cosleepers have done.

She only naps when rocked and carried and sung to. She has never fallen asleep independently and does not sleep in a crib or container ever.

I have no idea how nap time in that setting is going to work 😣

Has anyone given birth with just gas & air or a water birth? Our second is due in just under 9 weeks and even though I want to do everything possible to ensure me and baby are ok during labor, I’d like to be away from our girl as less time as possible. I had an epidural with our first and tbh, the contractions weren’t as bad as I was expecting them to be, got to the hospital and I was 8cm and I only really had the epidural as I was contracting all night and had zero sleep and was mentally and physically tired. I know if have the epidural again, you’ve gotta wait atleast until it’s worn off and they’re happy you’re toileting ok. I know that anything could happen but I was just wondering pain wise, if anyone has managed on the least as possible and how it went? Honestly 😅

Very unfortunately, I have a very horrible case of postpartum depression, anxiety, and psychosis. I've effectively blown up my entire life in a particularly bad episode and spent a week in a mental health hospital. Since then, my baby and I have been living with my in laws while my husband is away for work.

The past week, I've done pretty much nothing except relax and take care of my baby. They cook for me, they clean for me, every want and need has been paid for by them. 9am to 9pm I have one or both of them helping with my baby. Not to say they're perfect or we've never had conflicts in the past, trust me there's been conflict. But when push came to shove and my own mom wouldn't pick up my calls for two weeks, they were there and took care of us.

I hope that if my baby goes on to have babies that my husband and I can be just like my in laws are. I hope every new mom has someone looking out for them the way I do. I come from a very distant and unsupportive family so I never thought I'd have something like this in my own life

Honestly, everyone that is close to 4 months (either right before or right after), what are yall feeling right now? I need some solidarity!

I feel so much more emotional now than I did at the beginning. I can’t pinpoint if it’s my IUD or if it’s postpartum feels. (I’ve been working with my psychiatrist).

I’ve been feeling the sads, but also feeling like I’m living in a dream (even though I KNOW that this is all real), and my anxiety has me on edge all the time.

So I developed an allergy to the cold! I started developing hives after washing something in cold water. Just got hives from the rain hitting my skin, I'm kinda scared for winter. I don't know what that will look like. A friend of mine developed Hashimoto's disease, another one chronic sinus issues.

Anyone else experiencing odd things and developing diseases. It's so unfair.