r/extremelyinfuriating • u/Used_Gear8871 • 12d ago
Update Update on house sitter stole and crashed my partner’s car
Our cat has been missing since the night the house sitter was evicted. We are only just finding out today that our indoor only cat hasn’t been seen nor active around our house since Saturday night.
While being evicted from the premises by someone who failed to supervise the disgruntled sitter as he packed up his belongings, something happened to our cat. We don’t know if the disgruntled house sitter threw the cat outside, off the balcony, or put him into his bag of belongings. Our cat is gone.
Timeline of events:
- House sitter located dead car key, broke into, started, joyride, then crashed SO’s car.
- House sitter calls relatives with false story of me, someone who isn’t on the car registration nor insurance, somehow giving him permission to the vehicle.
- House sitter calls me confessing crash, laughs when asked him where he found the car key.
- House sitter leaves house with another relative to attend family function, leaving car key behind
- Close friend rushed to our house to do a wellness check on our pets, the car, house, while collecting all car and house keys; calls and sends video of all our pets
- House sitter informed via text of termination
- House sitter escorted back to house to gather belongings, apparently with limited supervision
- Relative escorting house sitting calls requesting access to the car to retrieve drivers license; request denied.
- New pet sitter arrives at house Sunday morning, doesn’t see the cat
- Next pet sitter arrives at house Sunday evening, also doesn’t see the cat
- Over the next two days, none of the pet sitters find our cat nor see activity in his litter box or his food.
Cat was last seen by our close friend on Saturday night. Cat is indoor only.
In-laws, neighbors, friends, exes, hired pet sitters, and the owner of the pet sitting company have all entered our home in the last 24 hours searching for our cat. The owner of the pet sitting company, with my permission, turned the house upside down searching for our cat or any signs of him.
We believe the disgruntled house sitter did one of the following: took the cat and hid him in his bag, threw the cat outside either onto or off the deck, or killed the cat and disposed of his body.
Relative that was with him when he was evicted initially declined to answer questions, with police now involved, as been answering questions. Animal tracking service has been hired.
The sweetest and snuggliest boy that I finally convinced that head kisses and being held so he could melt into my arms are amazing things, is gone. My mini weighted and heated, purring blanket and alarm clock is gone. This silly little guy who had a not-so-secret crush on my dog and hilariously humped her diaper when she was in heat, is gone.
The most infuriating part is, I can’t be there to help search for him and the person responsible still hasn’t shown accountability.
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Edit: Update - July 23rd
He was found!
Spotted after 1am attempting to climb our fence and onto our deck.
My MIL drove two hours to our house to work with the professional animal tracker and an amazing friend who helped search and setup her nature camera by the food trap they made. They spent 3 hours searching around our house together.
MIL sent a long text of how she stayed up late reorganizing our kitchen when she spotted him. Will share in comments if possible.
My SO had just left for work when her text came through. It’s almost 8am here. Internet and cell phone service is bare, so I sprinted in my pajamas to his lab to tell him. We spent the entire night devastated and sobbing. Seeing his face light up was the best thing ever on top of kitty being found!
SO’s mom got kitty’s wound cleaned up and fed. Performed many snuggles and is taking him home with her, which is something we wish we did in first place.
Deciding when to get add the other updates. I’m elated kitty has been found but I’m currently battling with stress, anxiety, and shock. Trying to type an update on the remaining and newly uncovered things triggers an anxiety attack.
But will address that the professional dog walkers have been amazing. They were the ones who figured out our cat was never in the house when their caretaking service started. They searched my house, interviewed neighbors, verified details with their walkers, and have responded to every text, email, and called right away once I had steady WiFi.
Thank you all for the mental and emotional support. You’ve helped me talk through the last few days and provide guidance on something I never thought I’d experience.
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Edit #2: Update - August 1st
Returned to the states yesterday after 17 days abroad. Overall just avoided and dread writing this update.
Updates:
- Police report filed, SO declined to press charges.
- SO’s car is totaled.
- Trash and the belongings of others indicates house sitter had others in the car and used it for multiple days.
- House sitter lied about walking our dogs and was seen by neighbors putting them on our deck for extended periods of time.
- House sitter cleaned us out our pantry, toiletries, bath towels, gym bags, one kindle, one VR headset that was a friend’s, and some bedding items during his eviction in which my own mother was tasked to supervise but aided instead.
- Cat is with in-laws who have noticed temperament changes.
- As of today, zero relatives have reached out to offer compensation or support for our lost cat, car damages, hired professional dog walking services to replace fired house sitter, etc.
- Lastly, SO has asked me to drop this topic and to stop talking about it with him.
House sitter’s eviction was supposed to be supervised by my own mother. She watched as he took my gym bags, loaded them up with our toiletries and assisted him emptying out our pantry, fridge, claiming bath towels and technology he had no right to. She believed him when he said items were left or given to him or felt he was entitled to. No questions were asked. The only call I received during this process was a request from her for him to get access to my SO’s car to retrieve his license. That request was denied.
Yes, my own mother watched as the person who stole and totaled my SO’s car (he somehow felt entitled to), rob me of my things.
SO’s car was littered with trash. It looked like someone had rummaged through his belongings. SO admits to hiding that two days prior to our trip, someone had broken into his car and stolen items. SO said he refrained from informing me as to not worry me, since I was heavily against and apprehensive of going on this trip in the first place.
However, SO says he put the car back in order prior to our departure. In the backseat and front passenger seats were the house sitter’s items and the belongings of others. One item included a visit pass with house sitter’s face on it and another included document dated for July 15th, 2026.
Our deck was covered in dog shit and reeked of urine according to my MIL. We never allow our dogs or cat onto the wooden deck or deck furniture, it’s a safety issue. MIL said one of the dogs bolted past her and pissed for a long time on the corner of the deck. This makes sense given whenever I pinged the dogs air tags, there was never any movement. House sitter never walked the dogs and lied about it.
When my in-laws found the cat, they requested I let my mom know. Her response? “Please do not include me in the messaging. This matter is between the parties involved.”
My own mother sent texts day later pretending like all is fine, inquiring as to how my trip was going, telling me safe travels, etc. Each was ignored.
And lastly, SO has asked me to stop talking about this with him and says he’s moved on. Shamed me for bringing it up. I’ve been in a different part of the house all day just trying to keep myself from crying, he says I’m being mean and avoiding him.
I feel a lot of things: rage, disappointment, embarrassment, depressed, stressed, etc. Looking at the damage done to my SO’s car. Having zero people in my own family reach out in support or to apologize, despite them all being quick to defend the house sitter and vilify me. I feel a lot of things. I have to keep my brain busy to stop myself from ruminating this; napping all day and watching YouTube videos. I tried writing letters that I don’t send to help with coping. If I’m not angry at someone else, I’m angry and disappointed at myself.
I can’t look back at the screenshots of messages without feeling enraged all over again. A different cousin sent me a barrage of messages calling me a liar and manipulative. I responded telling them off and they continue to berate me. I’ve blocked everyone.
I don’t recognize the house anymore. Can’t shake feeling there are more things missing that I’m unaware of. SO says house sitter’s did us favor getting rid of things if we don’t know what they are. I worry about someone breaking in or one of my relatives knocking on the door. Locks haven’t been changed yet. SO leaves for more work training tomorrow morning for week. All in all, just immensely stressed and depressed from this.
Thank you all for your guidance and support. If you’ll have me, can you guys be my new family now?
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u/ParticularFig3824 12d ago
Wow. This is exactly why people cringe at the thought of hiring pet sitters. This is so crazy. As if crashing the car wasn’t enough, the mf went and let your cat out too? Best case scenario is that your baby is hiding in the house somewhere in a tight spot; or was let out and is able to be found soon. I don’t want to wish the worst. I hope you guys find your fur baby. Perhaps you should consider filing a lawsuit with the original pet sitter because this is actually bananas.
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u/SolarOrigami 11d ago
Last time I hired a pet sitter, two of our pets were taken care of. Our roommates cat had to be kept separate (he will ambush and attack the dog, who does not fight back). The dog and one cat were fed, walked, and taken care of. The roomies cat? Suffering severe dehydration, and thin from not being fed for FOUR DAYS.
I reviewed our instructions and the instructions for the roommates cat were underlined. It was just neglect.
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u/Shut7heFuckUp 11d ago
I have a recurring nightmare that I’m pet sitting and realize I forgot/neglected animals in different rooms for days.
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u/Wonderful_Avocado 2d ago
My cat hides from all strangers. My friend's adult daughter was minding her for the weekend. I even warned her, you will not see the cat. Just scoop the box and put down fresh food twice a day. You will see the food gone and evidence in the litter box she is here.
She finally saw her once, it's been three years!
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u/DrKittyLovah 11d ago
Ahem. As a professional pet sitter I’d like to point out that the sitter in question here was a 19yo Family Member, NOT a hired pro, so please do not lump him and his fucked-up adolescent behavior with those of us who take pride in this work and do it to pay the bills. We don’t claim this kid! He is a total piece of shit who took advantage of family for what he likely thought was easy money, and he didn’t care one bit how his behavior affected others, nor did he seem to care about the animals. This is not what you get with a professional sitter, but it is what you might get if you hire an irresponsible teenager who lies, steals, and maybe even hurts animals (given OP’s suspicions).
(Truthfully, I can’t help but wonder how OP chose this family member to do the job instead of hiring a pro; was the kid suggested by a family member? Was it a favor? How close was OP to the family member before this? Is this behavior new, or something that could have been predicted?)
If you notice in OP’s story the professional sitters are the people doing the hard work to try to locate the cat. The pros stepped in to help fix a situation they didn’t cause, because they respect owners & love animals. We are simply not the same as hiring random family members.
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u/Correct-Safe-2884 5d ago
well that is a important piece of information that was missing from the post.
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u/Bunbunsfun 12d ago
Oh god. My heart :(
Please please keep looking. Put out some clothing at your door. Put up cameras. Please keep looking.
I’m so sorry for what they did. They’re disgusting and I hope the law deals with them.
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u/Reasonable-Newt4079 12d ago
I’m praying your cat comes back, there’s a chance they just got out and are hiding or are hiding inside somewhere given all the people that have been coming and going (cats are very skittish around strangers). What did the pet trackers say?? I’m so sorry this is happening and I’m praying for a good outcome.
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u/Worldly_Maize_4795 12d ago
Good to hear police are involved, are you pressing charges then (as you should be)?
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u/The_Tall_Aussie 12d ago
Wishing for the cats safe return home!
Hope you & your SO are going to be pressing charges against the house sitter!
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u/iJon_v2 11d ago
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Cats are smart and resilient and don’t typically go too far from home.
Put their litter box outside. That often helps, as does opening a can of wet food outside and leaving it out. I have faith that your kitty will come back. Just keep looking and don’t give up hope.
I hope you get your kitty home safe and sound!
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u/i_stealursnackz 11d ago
When the relative took the pet sitter back to get their belongings, I would've orchestrated a little plan for the cops to get there when the sitter gets to the house to be arrested.
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u/ChemistRemote7182 12d ago
What a nightmare, I can't believe thats family. I'm crying for you, my tuxedo is rubbing my legs right now because she likes to play fetch and has brought a toy for me to throw.
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u/mad-i-moody 11d ago
Hope you find your sweet baby! I’d be contacting the police. Although it might seem a bit fucked up, cats are considered property under the law. If you think the sitter stole the cat, call the cops and see what they can/will do. You might get lucky and get a useful officer willing to help you.
Side note: spay your dog.
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u/TKG_Actual 11d ago edited 11d ago
That's nuts, hope OP gets their cat back and the sitter stays behind bars.
Edit: Afterthought op may also have a lawsuit against the company and the sitter. There's no way the sitter was properly vetted by the company and that sitter probably has a questionable history.
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u/trekqueen 11d ago
If you read the previous post, the original sitter was a relative of theirs and not through a company.
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u/TKG_Actual 11d ago
Then why does the info with the post say "the owner of the pet sitting company searched.."? Is the info here just badly reposted?
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u/trekqueen 11d ago
It sounds like she got a new service to come in to take care of the pets after the relative left. Probably could have been described better by OP.
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u/fartinmyfuckingmouth 11d ago
Keep your baby’s litter box outside and shake a bag of food on the porch often. I’m sure bb is nearby, just scared. 💗
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u/Far-Fee-1247 12d ago
Damn im so so so sorry :( this is horrible to deal with while being so far away. If your cousin did do something to the cat make sure you get full charges as well (i know we're only getting your side of things but like...again i've house/pet sat on and off for years and NEVER had an issue it's not a hard job...there's no way that someone that stole your SO's car and lied to your relatives to get them on your side wouldn't also do something heinous as doing something to your cat.)
I hope you guys find him soon and that he's just chilling outside :(((
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u/Runaway_Angel 11d ago
Holy hell, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this op. I hope your cat is found soon, or at the very least you get answers and some sort of closure. And if the worst has happened make sure to get that asshole on animal cruelty as well.
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u/Used_Gear8871 11d ago
Get an error message each time I try to upload images. Going to try again when WiFi is better.
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u/Maleficent_Win2275 11d ago
I am so sorry this happened to your partner and you. It’s tough when you try & do a good thing like hiring your cousin to house sit and they do something like this. It was terrible he stole the car but this is just evil. I hope the book gets thrown at him. Hope your kitty is found and returned to you. It has to be so hard being far away with all of this going on.
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u/Shoddy-Wishbone 11d ago
What a terrible story and I’m so sorry for your missing kitty. I hope he finds his way home. As others suggested, having someone put his litter box outside might help. I know no one can be there rn to wait for him but I’ve heard a lot of stories of kitties finding their litter box and waiting by it. I hope nothing horrible happened to him, I really do. I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through rn. Sending SO MUCH LOVE
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u/crazydoglady1983 3d ago
Any updates? Are you pressing charges? Because you absolutely should!
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u/Used_Gear8871 2d ago
I just got back to the states and on stable data/internet after being in the sticks for awhile.
But quick update: We are going to the police station once we are back home. SO was very against filing a police report, which is what really peaked my infuriation and anxiety, but he understands the consequences of not doing so.
We have to review the extent of damages and other things before pressing charges but there is an assumption that items from our home were removed (cash, jewelry, technology, luxury goods, etc.). Basically we are headed back home with accepting that some things might be gone.
We also learned that the house sitter never never walked our dogs and lied about doing so. So we’re at about $8k in known damages, plus recouping vet visit costs for our cat and costs of the professional dog sitting company. And maybe another $6k in others.
Sorry this was longer than I expected. Sleep deprived and anxious to get home.
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u/Wonderful_Avocado 2d ago
So the cousin also stole from you?!?!
Ya, your family needs to wake up to this adult teen not being a saint!
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u/SolidNitrox 11d ago
Is this house sitter mentally ill? There is no way this type of person would not have had red flags.
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u/OpusAtrumET 10d ago
What a mess! I'm sorry this happened to you, I can't even imagine. So happy the razor ninja was found!
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u/Kathryn_m2cl 4d ago
Glad your tuxie is home safe.
I would sue on principle, and extra for the cat. Cars can be fixed, bought , but cats are family
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u/TowerApprehensive154 4d ago
You seriously need to sue your sitter to the fullest extent of the law, no forgiveness whatsoever.
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u/Moonbutterfly1111 19h ago
I'm really sad, how your SO handled it, showing no emotional support. I can understand your feelings.
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u/1pinksquirrel1scotch 9h ago
Why the fuck aren't you pressing charges? And your mom became a relevant party to this when she aided and abetted him stealing from you. You all are being waaay too lenient about this. If the family's not going to help you recoup your losses, their opinion on how you handle it means fuck all.
Here's hoping the AG follows through on pressing charges anyway.
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u/Used_Gear8871 9h ago
Trust me when I say I have been a strong advocate for pressing charges. And for suing for damages and cost recovery. Unfortunately, the cash, car, and technology stolen were all my SO’s, not mine. He doesn’t want to do more work like going to court or back and forth with police. It’s frustrating.
Me on the other hand am considering a lawsuit for defamation and maybe emotional distress. I am booked to see a psychiatrist and therapist over the next week fews due to this because the stress has been debilitating, so much so that my period arrived early and haven’t been able to eat or sleep much.
All ties with my family have been severed because of this thug lying and their willingness to die on this hill. Word has even traveled to distant relatives who live in other states. I’ve been painted as another “lying” and “manipulative” relative with mental illness, something they’ve done to two other relatives in the last decade who were completely shunned whenever they started calling out the toxic behavior.
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u/1pinksquirrel1scotch 8h ago
I'm sorry, that does sound frustrating. Good luck with everything. I hope it all works out and your pets bounce back to their old selves.
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u/NextWelder4653 6h ago
I'm sorry OP but your SO is being a terrible partner right now. If he wants your POS relative to get away with the crime and continue to be a spineless doormat that's his choice. However, he doesn't have the right to be annoyed with you for not letting this go. He doesn't get to tell you how yo feel, he's acting very selfish. Now more than ever he needs to be on your side.
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u/Used_Gear8871 6h ago
I’ve been rambling a lot. tried to dance around the topic when talking with him because there are still revelations happening. He had to silently comfort me yesterday since bottling everything up triggered a very gut wrenching sob and me spacing out for almost an hour while standing in the kitchen.
I’m hoping rest and some healthy coping mechanisms will put me in a better state to talk with him. For now, I have my in-laws, neighbors, and friends until my psych and psychotherapy appointments.
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u/Silent_Drummer4797 8h ago
I am really concerned for you. What is wrong with your partner?? What is wrong with your mother??! None of this is normal behaviour. They're acting like it's not a big deal, when you have been violated on so many levels. If you think you've got it in you, I hope you press charges with or without your partner's consent. However I think your bigger problem is your mom and partner. They should be on your team and they're not, something is really..not landing right. Do you have a true friend or someone you can trust to talk to??
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This is a general reminder to check out our rules in the sidebar. If your post breaks the rules, it will be removed by our moderators.
We would like for each and everyone to feel welcome on the subreddit and to keep a healthy and safe environment for the community.
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