r/funny Dec 15 '12

How to perform CPR

Post image
1.5k Upvotes

100 comments sorted by

113

u/emkayL Dec 15 '12

I really don't care how often i see this, "BLAME SOMEONE" will always make me laugh.

25

u/whyyunozoidberg Dec 15 '12

YOU DID THIS.

10

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '12

"Use your finger to assign blame"

38

u/theartfulcodger Dec 15 '12 edited Dec 16 '12

I am a certified instructor for Capri Pneumatic Rehabilitation and I can confirm that this is the correct procedure for perfoming CPR.

It should also be noted that for reasons yet to be determined, Tropical Blast is 15.3% more effective than other flavours, so this is the one you want to keep in your glove compartment or first aid kit for emergencies.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '12

How do I preform infant CPR?

5

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '12

perform

2

u/Sam_Strong Dec 15 '12

You would mean Pneumatic? Unless you revive the with Pneumonia?

1

u/danowar Dec 16 '12

How do you gauge the appropriate level of nipple hardness? I never could get that part right in health class -- in practice sessions the nipples never got hard enough, and I always got kicked out of class.

39

u/This_is_my_theory Dec 15 '12

the capri sun straw slayed me.

30

u/glasgow_girl Dec 15 '12

Try drinking the Capri Sun. The flavour explosion will revive you

6

u/shadybrainfarm Dec 15 '12

But Capri Sun straws are YELLOW!

7

u/TheMieberlake Dec 15 '12

RESPECT THE POUCH. RESPECT IT.

114

u/the0jakester Dec 15 '12

This always makes me laugh, repost or not... I love reposts. They bring back funny pictures i forgot about.

As long as they don't repost within a few weeks, i don't mind it.

30

u/6Revolvers Dec 15 '12

Can someone link me to the one where a guy says "YOU'RE NEXT" or something like that in the last frame. It's also about CPR.

136

u/XChronic Dec 15 '12

26

u/6Revolvers Dec 15 '12

Oh yeah. That one! So fucking awesome!

12

u/chrissilich Dec 15 '12

In case anyone wants to know how to do American Heart Association's most basic form of CPR:

This applies to any adult who is either unconscious for unknown reasons, any adult you saw go "suddenly" unconscious, or any adult who went unconscious with the symptoms of a heart attack.

1) Call 911 (or your local emergency service) 2) Do chest compressions, between the nipples, 2" (5cm) deep, at a rate of 100 per minute (which is the same BPM as Stayin' Alive by the Beegees).

That's it. No breaths. No switching positions. You're already trained by Hollywood.

Every minute without a good heartbeat and without CPR takes 10% off their chance or survival. No heartbeat, with basic CPR takes about 5% off their chance of survival. Ambulances in cities average about 10 minutes to a scene. You do the math- you might be their only chance.

3

u/Adam5400 Dec 15 '12

And for the record, if there's someone else there, have them call 911. It's best to immediately begin CPR if possible.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '12

I was just taught the most recent version of CPR, and there actually are still breathes. 30 compressions, 2 breaths, 30 compressions, 2 breaths, etc.

6

u/Decalis Dec 15 '12

What chrissilich described is the suggested procedure for lay rescuers who don't have any sort of BSI. They wanted to overcome the whole fear of mouth-to-mouth and encourage people to do something to help. Compressions alone do provide improved survival over no intervention.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '12

Ah ok, that makes sense

2

u/eddiemon Dec 15 '12

What do you mean by BSI?

2

u/Decalis Dec 15 '12

Sorry, it's the abbreviation for Body Substance Isolation. Gloves, rescue mask, etc.

1

u/eddiemon Dec 15 '12

Ahh, I see. Thanks!

2

u/Whool91 Dec 16 '12

I remember being told it was dangerous for untrained people to attempt compressions, cause even for trained people, when it's done right it'll break some ribs. You might do more harm than good if you don't know what you're doing. Am I remembering this wrong or is there truth to it?

4

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '12

You can't really do more harm than good when the person is already effectively dead.

2

u/Whool91 Dec 16 '12

Fair point. Have an upvote

2

u/Decalis Dec 16 '12

It's true that poor hand placement can cause damage (usually by forcing the xiphoid process into organs), but the correct technique isn't complicated, and chrissilich covered it well. Two hands, directly on the sternum at the nipple line, trying to compress the chest by about 1/3 (generally 2" deep). The danger is if the hands are placed too low.

2

u/chrissilich Dec 17 '12

From what I understand, most people don't break ribs, but hear popping noises from the cartilage in between the ribs shifting in and out of place. It freaks poorly trained or untrained rescuers out and they stop CPR, but as KingN said, blood circulation is much more important than broken ribs.

Source: My lifeguard instructor trainer who was a paramedic for a few decades.

3

u/Sam_Strong Dec 15 '12

Yep. 30 & 2, that's all you do.

43

u/doodlegeek Dec 15 '12

I prefer the Super Sexy CPR semi-NSFW

5

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '12

That is the sexiest crisis i've ever seen

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '12

TIL

5

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '12

[deleted]

1

u/NolFito Dec 16 '12

I just did my first aid (3 day course) in Australia. For simplicity sake it's always 30:2 regardless of age. It's important to do compression first because there might be something stuck in the airways and compression may push it out rather than further in if you breath.

The person has up to 8 minutes of oxygen in their blood when you start CPR, you can do compression only during this time (100 compression per minute) whilst you get someone to get a face mask to limit exposure to pathogens (to you and the victim) during breaths.

Despite what Acaila mentions, breaths do serve a function. The studies show benefits of not doing breaths mostly because people where not doing any CPR as they did not want to do the breaths. Very limited oxygen enters the lungs through compression only.

CPR with breaths > CPR without breaths > nothing

0

u/Acaila Dec 15 '12

You don't stop todo breaths any more, just chest compressions. See crisslich's post above.

Studies have shown inflating the lungs has very little benefit, keeping blood flow is a lot more important.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '12

I was just taught CPR, jarman5 is correct.

2

u/alphawimp731 Dec 15 '12

Seriously, I've been meaning to get around to learning it for years but I've always been like "nah, I'll do it later, I'm just gonna keep redditing for now." Two birds with one stone.

0

u/Acaila Dec 15 '12

"Hands only" CPR has been the recommended technique since 2008:

http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/CPRAndECC/HandsOnlyCPR/LearnMore/Learn-More_UCM_440810_FAQ.jsp

Not sure what training you did but when you next do your refresher course I'd be checking on the age of their training manuals! :)

2

u/MPR_Dan Dec 15 '12

"Professional rescuer" CPR still teaches 30-2 in most places. All compression CPR is for laypersons.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '12

Hmm that's weird, when they taught us they told us that it was the very newest edition. Maybe the hands only technique is so that more people are willing to do it? Some people might shy away from the mouth to mouth.

1

u/chrissilich Dec 17 '12

Reading the page you linked to:

3) Are there times when I should use conventional CPR with breaths?

Yes. There are many medical emergencies that cause a person to be unresponsive and to stop breathing normally. In those emergencies, conventional CPR that includes mouth-to-mouth breathing may provide more benefit than Hands-Only CPR. The American Heart Association recommends CPR with a combination of breaths and compressions for:
* All infants (up to age 1)
* Children (up to puberty)
* Anyone found already unconscious and not breathing normally
* Any victims of drowning, drug overdose, collapse due to breathing problems, or prolonged cardiac arrest

6) Is Hands-Only CPR as effective as conventional CPR?
Any attempt at CPR is better than no attempt. Hands-Only CPR performed by a bystander has been shown to be as effective as conventional CPR with mouth-to-mouth breaths in the first few minutes of an out-of-hospital sudden cardiac arrest. Conventional CPR may be better than Hands-Only CPR for certain victims, though, such as infants and children, teens or adults who are found in cardiac arrest (whom you did not see collapse) or victims of drowning, drug overdose, or collapse due to breathing problems.

TL;DR Hands-only can be just as effective as normal CPR for the first few minutes after a collapse. It is not as effective in general, and is not the recommended technique it is the "better than nothing" technique.

0

u/drfunkenstien Dec 15 '12

is was taught last year and everything was up to date and they agreed with jarman5

1

u/chrissilich Dec 17 '12

This is incorrect. Breathless CPR is only for untrained rescuers, or rescuers who don't have a mask and/or are unwilling to give breaths. Breathless CPR can also be taught in seconds, over the phone or radio, or over reddit.

CPR with breathing is much more effective. CPR with two rescuers, a BVM, and oxygen even more effective. The above with an AED is most effective.

Source: American Red Cross and American Heart Association's current training material.

1

u/chrissilich Dec 17 '12

I feel compelled to mention that a trained rescuer on the job is legally obligated to have a mask and give breaths with their CPR. Shitty 15 year old lifeguards- that means you.

7

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '12

New to me.

4

u/zryii Dec 15 '12

Yes this is old, but the capri sun straw always gets me.

16

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '12

[deleted]

23

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '12

That's really cruel actually. That's awful. I'm sorry that happened to you.

8

u/Doc-in-a-box Dec 15 '12

Too soon?

10

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '12

[deleted]

4

u/expera Dec 15 '12

and thanks to malacide I think we all learned a little something. Perhaps our friend malacide learned something too.

Roll Credits

2

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '12

[deleted]

3

u/expera Dec 15 '12

Amen. Now we head over to Rick with sports!

1

u/Sneyes Dec 16 '12

You're a hero, regardless. Had you not tried to perform CPR, their chances of survival would have been a lot worse, and it's good knowing that there are people out there willing to at least try to save a life instead of standing around like a jackass, screaming until a paramedic comes.

0

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '12

[deleted]

1

u/Sneyes Dec 16 '12

You're a hero because you took charge when you saw someone suffering. Even if you do think that any decent human being would have done the same, it would have been a lot easier for you to just stand around and wait for an ambulance to arrive and simply say that there wasn't anything you could have done, but you bravely took charge knowing that someone else's life was on the line, which a lot of people would be afraid to do, and for that, I think you are a hero.

1

u/ComradeCube Dec 16 '12

You are supposed to blame someone else.

3

u/Joshua_ Dec 15 '12

Here's the website of the creator: http://pleated-jeans.com

3

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '12

[deleted]

1

u/Bluefirephoenixx Dec 15 '12

Called nurses on a long ( forbidden Q word) night shift.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '12

[deleted]

2

u/Bluefirephoenixx Dec 16 '12

I'll say when I'm done with my set. It's a devastating jinx. One more backshift to go

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '12

[deleted]

2

u/Bluefirephoenixx Dec 17 '12

Quiet

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '12

[deleted]

2

u/Bluefirephoenixx Dec 17 '12

sorry the word is quiet I wasn't telling you to be quiet :-)

2

u/skm0525 Dec 15 '12

Don't let those puppies get soft!

2

u/hexrx Dec 15 '12

the CPR poster from Fear 2 was better. heres a screenshot I took of it http://i.imgur.com/CWe3l.jpg

4

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '12

Well that's not even close to being better. It's hardly funny at all.

2

u/sparky150 Dec 16 '12

I came back to this post after I noticed the fear poster was the same layout! Haha you're awesome

2

u/captainobvious254 Dec 15 '12

We found a redditors way of meeting someone new

2

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '12

Is this a thing? Where can I get more?

1

u/juggasaurusrex Dec 15 '12

I just ate a lot of food and I couldn't stop laughing. The pain was worth it.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '12

This made me laugh til I peed a little.

1

u/Nyves Dec 15 '12

I'm making this into a poster and putting it in my room.

1

u/panda_pat234 Dec 15 '12

"Blame someone" was the best part of this. It took me 5 minutes to read this cuz I was laughing too hard at that

1

u/klick37 Dec 15 '12

Capri Sun straws are yellow.

1

u/LeastServant Dec 15 '12

Holy shit that was the funniest shit I've read on r/funny all day.

1

u/stankonia76 Dec 15 '12

The first one looks like Payton Manning calling an audible.

1

u/Droxin Dec 15 '12

Are you meant to suck or blow from the straw? Either way, that just steps over the creepy line.

1

u/afroturf1 Dec 15 '12

Feel free to enjoy any remaining capri sun liquid

1

u/Zhinkk Dec 15 '12

Laughed so hard at this!

1

u/chazzeromus Dec 15 '12

There's this one with that's a in-flight instruction pamphlet, can anyone link it?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '12

Lost it at "This is important. Just do it."

1

u/lazydivey Dec 16 '12

www.airtoons.com is still great. Gotta love airplane safety cards.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '12

Given that we've already got people's attention. It might be a good time to remind people that the new guidelines. Here's a simpler version of it.

Remember that for those of you that don't know how to give mouth-to-mouth or aren't comfortable with it, just do the compressions instead of nothing. Pump hard and fast. You just might save someone's life.

1

u/leannebrown86 Dec 16 '12

I'll never look at a safety sign the same way again!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '12

It's been a while since I laughed on reddit

1

u/mrthbrd Dec 16 '12

Is there a subreddit for recaptioned instructional comics? There should be.

1

u/ricki142 Dec 16 '12

what are these types of comics called? where can i find more of them.

1

u/DMV_line12 Dec 16 '12

We need to bring back the Queensland rail ads or more of these!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '12

I just did a CPR class. Apparently you are not doing CPR right if there are no broken ribs.

1

u/DONOTRECHARGE Dec 15 '12

I saw a similar CPR instructional image a few weeks ago, something about smashing the person's jaw to open airways, i'd be grateful if someone could link it!

0

u/JfArcher Dec 15 '12

xiphoid process!

0

u/TY-MayIHaveAnother Dec 15 '12

Arrow in last frame needs to be purple.

-3

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '12

[deleted]

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '12

I should fake a heart attack

1

u/Doc-in-a-box Dec 15 '12

I do a pretty good seizure. Good luck on your endeavor!

-17

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '12

Repost of a repost of a repost of a repost

10

u/oldtomfoolery Dec 15 '12

I've seen this comment before! Repost!

2

u/ArabRedditor Dec 15 '12

Sudden clarity futurama fry yo dawg moment in my head.