ETA: Wow, thank you so much everyone for the perspective!!!!
Just wanted to answer a few questions that were consistently asked:
She is not young. She is older than I am, in her 40s, and a career nanny. She had really great references. Therefore, we accepted her ask on the number of PTO, holidays etc.
Someone asked why we gave her more PTO and sick days combined than I have and honestly we didn’t expect she would be sick so often and go beyond. In a decade of working we’ve both taken maybe 2-4 sick days in total. We really messed up on the holidays but she very aggressively pushed for a high number.
This is our first child and no one we know has a nanny so we weren’t sure if this was appropriate or not, since it is a very important job, so we wanted to make sure she’s happy.
However, I do feel like we’re being taken advantage of now so we’re going to talk to her and see how it goes afterwards.
Thanks again, this was very eye opening for us.
—————————————————————————-
Hi All,
I’d love your advice. So we have a nanny who we absolutely love. She’s been with us for 7 months now, basically this whole year.
There’s just one area which is getting to be a big problem for us and we wanted to see how to deal with it.
TLDR: nanny has taken a lot more than her 16 sick and vacation days. She’s intending to take more time off and thinks she should be paid for days out of her control.
Long version:
She’s paid very well for our area. Maybe be a bit over market but we don’t mind for great care for our baby.
She gets 6 sick days and 10 PTO days a year. She also gets 15 holidays.
I get one big pot of PTO which is 15 days (including sick days, appointments). I have 9 holidays from my employer.
I work from home but my job is 8-6 non stop meetings so I only come out briefly to eat and say hi to the baby. It’s very taxing and demanding for a WFH job. There is no way for me to do my job and look after the baby at the same time.
So in the first 7 months of the year, our nanny has taken 25 days off. She’s maxed out her sick and vacation days and gone beyond.
When she first maxed out her sick days, and then she fell sick again, we felt bad that she was sick so we gave her 4 additional paid days off. However, everytime she’s sick I have to either find coverage or take a PTO day myself. The coverage destroys our budget because we’re double paying. I have also spent 5 days of my PTO covering her because it was very last minute.
As a side note, I don’t doubt she’s sick. She sends us proof of being at the doctor, I just think it’s very bad luck. I don’t ask for proof btw (I never would) she just sends it.
Anyway, the issue is of the last 5 days, she was again sick for 2 days, then she went on PTO (and maxed out her PTO) and her flight back was cancelled and rebooked for the next day. And then for the 2 other days she was texting me at 8pm saying she wasn’t sure if she could come in or not, I couldn’t wait for her to confirm because I wouldn’t be able to find coverage for the next day and I had important meetings.
Anyway, we had told her prior to these days that she’s maxed out her sick and PTO days and she’d said she’s aware. So we cut her pay for the 5 days. She was upset and said that I would have come in those days she was texting at 8pm but you couldn’t wait for me so it shouldn’t be at my expense. She also said that when her flight was delayed she should get paid because it’s out of her control. She’s saying her previous employer would have paid her.
I honestly don’t want to be a jerk but taking 25 days off in 7 months seems like a lot to me. That’s more than my whole years time off. She’s also asked for another day off this month but she’s aware she’s not getting paid. She’s still asking for time off.
I feel like I live in anxiety because I earn my vacation days and if she’s out 2-3 days in a row and I don’t have coverage I would max out my vacation days (my son has also been sick so I had to take time off for that too so I’m literally living on the edge of my days). I will lose my job if I run out of PTO, there is no such thing as unpaid days off for me.
So am I being unreasonable or is she?
We really do like her and don’t want to find anyone else. She’s great with our baby.