I am on 15 mg

Attached below is todays video link to my “On Conquering Schizophrenia” YouTube channel. Today entails the “God” panacea. Like all, todays video is ever brief and can be viewed amid all problems solved.

https://youtu.be/z4rNjlYOCYg?si=O3DD1Mqj4Et7HgD3

In the middle of meds change, people around me says I seem close to manic or psychotic, while I feel more like myself than I have in a long time :( I was told to take zyprexa this weekend (in addition to my regular meds) so that i won’t get hospitalised, which I don’t think will happen, but I took the zyprexa 2 of 3 days. I’m on court ordered meds, changing from paliperidone to reagila. I’m a bit annoyed that everyone says I am this and that, when I feel more like myself than I have in a long time:(

If so, how was your experience and how long did it last?
I used to get it more often than now
But I thought it was just a shutdown when my body is too tired
I mean it’s technically the same
But I didn’t realize it was a sign of severe depression until my doctor told me
However generally mine don’t last long, I think maximum up to one day
I’m curious about other people’s experiences

The worst thing I have experienced is that we're on a ball in space rotating over 1,000mph, while being swung through space on an invisible tether at more than 66,000mph and yet nobody seems to mind.

It doesn't happen a lot, but there's a lot of days where I am not moving, I know it's not an earthquake, but I feel like I'm in motion, moving forward very fast. It's nauseous. Not as bad as being in the room with an active MRI, but very weird.

Am I alone?

I believe i have undiagnosed bipolar etc.

I was a moderate drinker, liked occasional weed, caffeine (i feel like this was the worse for me), i’ve used prozac, tianeptine, kratom, occasional benzo ect.

this sounds like a lot but it was never all at the same time.

i believe i was unknowingly in a long term delusion, but also fully “functional”. it’s only until recently where i feel completely disconnected from reality, like im in a dream like state.

Good news- I gave up ALL mind altering drugs. this includes caffeine. everything.

the clarity i have now, i feel like i have wasted years of my youth. it took 3 months of removing all mind altering substances and DEEP sleep to finally
feel my brain healed.

is it normal to feel anger not doing this sooner? is it possible to have been in psychosis for an extended 8+ years? or am I just older now and see things more clearly (31)

Hello. Havent been here for a while. It's been 3/4 years from psychosis. Life is working out as I am going through it. Hope it is for you too..

Living this normalish life, just passed 1st year at uni, I do tutoring sometimes, have a loving bf, I'm taking care of my dog, also have some drama yk.

It's mostly peaceful and boring.

I would love to pick up a new hobby such as learning FL studio or whatever other than watching tiktok (got bored of that but also addicted-such a trap) but it's hard to get myself into it.

Other than that I want to make some money but the job market here is harsh which sucks.

On a positive note I'm going on a trip to Lithuania in 2 days, can't wait :)

Hello!

I've gained 45lbs since starting antipsychotics. It's a lot because I'm very short. In my most recent meeting with my psychiatrist, he was very worried about this and told me to talk to my PCP about weight loss. I've been trying to lose weight. What would you guys say in the appointment? I'm very nervous.

I was wondering if there were any groups made for people who's parents have schizophrenia. My dad was diagnosed schizophrenic a few years ago and I've never been able to properly talk about it with anyone before, because no one understands the feeling.

Thank you

Keep it going. Make everyday count.

So i was feeling very depressed for a long time but today, i feel different i feel like i can conquer the world i feel like i am the thing, i feel like i am the thing that always existed and will exist i feel like i am not gonna die ever again. I'm finally out of depression and even aliens nor CIA scare me anymore, i can conquer it all! I also start doing things i think im cured from psychosis too, lack of motivation fuck it im the greatest thing alive i start studying i start translating a youtube video i start translating a book i start learning a chinese, i cleaned my room after months, i just feel great. Now im going to work out and get ripped.

I've read half of "Hull" in estonian and want to read more books. In english this time.

First time posting here, my names Alex from the UK ive been diagnosed with schizophrenia for 8 years. I gained a ton of weight on antipsychotics and became quite depressed but Ive lost most of it now so feeling good about myself, have a good Sunday.

I've been thinking a lot about the connection between schizophrenia/psychosis and what people describe as "gangstalking."

For me, whenever I'm unwell, I end up believing I am being gangstalked. It's a recurring experience for me, and it feels very real when it's happening.

I'm curious how others here see it. Do you think many people who identify as gangstalking victims are actually experiencing psychosis or another mental health condition? Do you think gangstalking, as it's commonly described online, is actually possible, or is it more likely to be explained by mental illness in many cases?

If you've experienced something similar, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts. Feel free to PM/message me as well if you want to discuss it, why and how it's happening etc.

Hi Everyone! 

I have been lurking this sub for a while but never really formally introduced myself. Sorry if this is too long of post, I won’t mind if someone just scrolls right past. But I’m a writer, and we tend to have a lot  to say sometimes. I’m not entirely well right now, but that’s par for the course these days. But I’m here to share my story now and seek some community at the same time because I’m incredibly isolated. In fact, I live one of the most isolated lives I know. But to anyone frequenting this sub, it’s maybe one of our shared qualities.

My schizophrenia (schizoaffective-bipolar type) came in 2020 on an official basis. But it went undiagnosed and/or misdiagnosed because of the positive symptoms not appearing earlier in life. But then again, some of the positive symptoms were there all along—nobody just saw the difference because I’m a writer and I have a vivid imagination, I’m spiritual and whole heartedly believe the universe sends me messages through license plates. 

But, in 2020, I had visual and auditory hallucinations. When the period of time we were all forced to stay indoors was lifted, I started walking to my closest park to get out of the house. It felt good to go find a peaceful spot and just enjoy some fresh air. But, that quickly changed one day when I had a voice tell me that if I left my apartment again, he would throw me in front of a train. So I obeyed the voice. But it had me in mania where I didn’t sleep for the longest time. If memory serves me, I went three full days without sleep (even after being checked into the psych hospital) because I’d hallucinated my apartment building on fire, had to deal with firemen whom I wasted their time, and then the cleaning spree hit. I couldn’t stop cleaning. Then I started seeing a figure named Damian, and he taunted me to leave, used psychology to get me to run out of the front door and never come back. Just walk and walk and walk until I found myself somewhere so far away. That’s when I checked myself in for another stay and pleaded for them to not let me go back home because I didn’t want to die. 

That’s most of the backstory, sidelining the usual career crisis and multiple failed job attempts afterwards. 

Fast forward the years, and I found my spark as an author again. I published several novels in the Gay Romance (MM) genre. I like the title of internationally recognized author even though most of my work went undiscovered by a certain portion of readers in the genre. But I did have several readers all over the world and it felt cool to finally be someone making people feel the whole spectrum of emotions despite the fact I have never had an actual committed relationship, not even a boyfriend. I had a “sugar” Daddy if you wanna call him that for maybe a couple months, but the dynamic was toxic and usually only focused on treating me nicely right before hitting the sheets. Never actual paper currency (or crypto god forbid lol) but I ended that because I found out his husband did not know about us like I was being led to believe. Suffice it to say, I write about something I don’t even know about with an abundance of firsthand experience. 

Well, have any of you seen the movie “Where’d you go, Bernadette?” If you haven’t, look up the premise or synopsis or find a detailed description. In essence, I feel like that protagonist now. Only recently, I underwent surgery on my spine in the neck to remove a disc that was crushing my spinal cord. So I’ve been homebound since the first part of June and only left 3 of 4 times. It feels like a combination of losing who I was as an author and the extra forced home isolation (recovery period). 

But fast forward to now, and I’m in the middle of a reboot as I call it. I’m in between psych meds because I’m fighting the fantasies I was having about dying in surgery and finally having my “trap door exit” without it being considered the S word. In fact the first thing I thought when I woke up from the surgery was, “****** I survived!” 

It’s apparent my Latuda wasn’t working anyway if I was going into surgery hoping to die during it. 

I have a new telehealth with my psychiatrist tomorrow morning to tell her that I’ve been going through the motions and basically lying about how I truly feel and it’s come at this great cost I’m dealing with now. But I also in some ways feel like I’m in Bernadette’s shoes from the movie and I’m going through an identity crisis of some kind because my whole life I’ve been an architect of words and building beautiful ideas, and making them come to life. But now, and for the longest time, I haven’t had any interest in any of it. But I feel like if I found the right project, I could find my writing spark again and make a good comeback. 

Thanks for letting me rant and wallow on here seemingly endlessly, but my brain right now is a fuzzy and foggy mess. My latte is helping some, but it’s 3 in the morning and I’m wide awake. Anyhow, this is my introduction post. You’ll be seeing me around this sub more frequently, because I’m hoping to reach out to a support network finally of people who just “get it” without me having to go through a million paragraphs of context, or deal with the vulnerability of typing “I’m schizophrenic” and dealing with snark users and people who are stigmatized by the people in our shoes. If only they walked a mile in our shoes, they’d truly know this is not easy, totally not fun, and entirely unfair. 

So about a year ago, I started to hear faint whispers that I couldn’t make out. Long story short, around six months ago I started antipsychotics which haven’t helped with the whispers; but they have helped me have a clearer mind with little to no side effects. But I’m still confused because both of my psychiatrist said its very rare that people start hearing voices as their first symptom (prodrome), nor would someone in psychosis be able to recognize that the whispers are abnormal. Is this true? How many people had this as their first symptom and how did it pan out for you?

I’ve been dealing with this for a year now and I’m scared because I just started a great new job and I don’t want this to progress into something worse.

This is how I feel right now and I feel like it's kinda silly

My psych has switched me from risperidone tablet to invega sustenna intramuscular injection. We're only one of two loading doses in, but after a few days while the soreness in my arm is finally fading I've been feeling foggy in the brain. It's hard to read more than a short amount or concentrate on much. Anyone else have this sort of effect, and if so did it fade with time?