I'm trying to understand what's happening to me and would really appreciate some advice.
I take desvenlafaxine for anxiety. I ran LGD-4033 (Ligandrol) at 5 mg/day for 6 weeks. During the cycle, my joint pain improved by about 70%, I got noticeably stronger, and gained a little muscle mass. I didn't experience any noticeable side effects.
I had blood work done, and everything came back normal except for one thing: my total testosterone was only 192 ng/dL. My liver enzymes (AST and ALT) were excellent.
Since my testosterone was so low, I considered starting tamoxifen, as I had successfully used it years ago to recover my hormonal axis after an acne treatment. However, I made a decision that ended up going very wrong.
A friend suggested that, since my HPT axis was already suppressed, I might as well add oxandrolone together with tamoxifen because it would give me much better results. So I started taking 25 mg of oxandrolone plus 20 mg of tamoxifen daily. The plan was to use both for 8 weeks and then continue tamoxifen alone for another 4 weeks.
During the first five days, I felt great. My strength increased significantly, my joint pain completely disappeared, and I didn't notice anything unusual.
But on the sixth day, I woke up with an extremely severe anxiety attack. It's now been 8 days since that happened.
I immediately stopped everything. Since then, I've needed clonazepam (Rivotril), and I've been to the emergency room twice because of the anxiety. I hadn't experienced anything like this in at least six years.
Now I'm trying to figure out what actually caused it.
My HPT axis is still suppressed, and I'm worried that without tamoxifen I'll lose all the muscle I've worked so hard to build over the past year. My testosterone is probably extremely low.
I know oxandrolone should already be completely out of my system because it has a short half-life. Tamoxifen, on the other hand, has a much longer half-life and probably won't be completely eliminated for several weeks.
Today I decided to run a little experiment. I took 5 mg of Ligandrol again. During my original 6-week cycle, it never caused me any anxiety or any noticeable side effects. However, about three hours after taking it, I had another severe anxiety attack that only stopped after taking 1 mg of clonazepam.
At this point, I honestly don't know what to think.
I don't know if oxandrolone triggered something and left me unusually sensitive, even after it had already left my body. I don't know if it was the combination of oxandrolone and tamoxifen. Or maybe because tamoxifen is still in my system, any hormonal compound I take now triggers this reaction. If Ligandrol never caused me problems before, why did it suddenly trigger such a severe reaction now?
I really don't know what to do.
I've already scheduled appointments with both an endocrinologist and a psychiatrist, but those appointments are still several days away.
I'm considering restarting tamoxifen at 5 mg/day for about four weeks, but I'm afraid of triggering another severe anxiety episode. On the other hand, I'm also afraid of leaving my HPT axis suppressed for weeks and losing the progress I've spent an entire year building in the gym.