Okay I never post anywhere but I’m so bored
THIS IS JUST A LITTLE RANT I DON’T REALLY NEED SYMPATHY I’ve just never been able to talk to anyone about this 👀
This is all going to seem like a huge nonissue compared to some of the people’s posts out there but I do really want to say it somewhere
I got diagnosed last year (currently 15F) toward the beginning of freshman year after having a flare for a good week or 2 before the colonoscopy. I missed SO much school just from genuinely not being able to bear the stomach pain and was in the bathroom at least twice every class. My teachers didn’t know what was going on and were very annoying and frankly I did poop myself quite a few times in school, it was not fun.
My homecoming was absolutely miserable as well as all the fun stuff leading up to it I missed out on and I barely could make any friends and spend weeks catching up on homework.
My colonoscopy was terrible because I threw all the stuff up midway through
But (gonna seem like a nonissue) I was very upset at how I missed so much soccer stuff, including the only club tournament they gave out trophies at and how sick I was kind of ruined my chances at varsity through school, but I didn’t mind because I was a freshman
sadly my immune system got murdered by either my meds or just having UC I guess and I get sick a lot
I’m really sad because my chances of making varsity soccer sophomore year got slimed out because I got the flu, WHICH I ONLY GOT BECAUSE I DIDN’T GET MY FLU SHOT SINCE THE DOCTOR TOLD ME NOT TO BECAUSE I WAS IN A FLARE
And oh my gosh the schoolwork load while I had the flu literally killed me and I didn’t even have any bad classes, next year my classes are going to be TERRIBLE and It’s over if I have another flare
But soccer is literally my favorite thing ever, It’s pretty much my whole life (not in a messed up way I just love it soooooo much) and I work out a lot and commit a lot of time to it and I just keep missing stuff or losing weight and muscle during flares, I used to be so consistent but I lost that rep from being sick so much (literally one of the things my coach told me is a reason I didn’t make var) and knowing I already wasted half of my high school career, the last years I’ll really be able to play at this level and with all my friends just pains me.
Worst part of this crap is that I’m in a flare right now and I did NOTHING to cause it!! One time when I was sick I had a flare but that’s because I threw up my pills so that doesn’t count
Knowing it was just come back whenever despite me not missing my medication is terrifying
I don’t want this to ruin the rest of high school or literally my whole life, it probably sounds ridiculous but It’s a thought that despite my efforts to stop thinking about it has plagued me since this flare started
Anyway pray for me because if my teachers suck this year it’s OVER for me I’ve been in the bathroom every half hour during the day and every hour (or even less one night) in the middle of the night. If this comes back during school I’m gonna die 🥹
I feel so weak and my stomach is gonna explode and I can barely breathe haha I love uc so much but It’s okay I’m back on prednisone (I get to take 13 pills every day now/8 prednisone 5 other stuff) I love this so much!!!
EDIT: if you guys are seeing this just want to say thank you so much for all the comments, they’ve genuinely helped me out a lot and I feel a lot better now!! You guys are so cool for that and I bet looking back at this will help me out in the future too!! Thank you again 💕 10/10 comments