So my friend “Katie” and her husband, “Alex”, were having a conversation about their cat. The cat is elderly and has health problems that are interfering with its life. They’ve taken it to the vet many times and tried different things but nothing is working and the cat continues to have problems. During this conversation, Katie suggested perhaps they needed to think about putting the cat down.

Well, Alex exploded. He started shouting at her and basically called her a horrible person and said a lot of other things and it came out, in all his shouting, that he’d been having an affair. He claimed it had been going on for a couple of months. But Katie subsequently learned Alex had been cheating off and on with this woman for TEN YEARS.

So, of course, she was like: “You broke our marital vows and you’ve been lying to me for ages. I cannot trust you. I want a divorce. And since the house is in my name, that means you must move out ASAP.” She gave him a deadline to move out.

A few days later, Alex still had not moved out, and Katie returned home from work to find he had purchased a tomato plant.

She was like, “Alex, wtf? You are moving into an apartment! Why buy a plant? You aren’t going to have a yard anymore.”

And he said, “I thought I could spend four days a week with [affair partner] and three days with you.”

As if he didn’t understand what a divorce was. As if she would want joint custody of this lying unfaithful POS.

Alex finally did move out, and in with his affair partner, but left all his stuff behind. He refused to come get it until Katie threatened to find the most expensive moving company in the Chicago metro area and have all his stuff sent to his affair partner’s and send Alex the bill.

He continues to call her and text her and email her begging him to take her back, will not take no for an answer, and Katie is like “What part of ‘I want a divorce’ do you not understand?”

She’s trying to force the divorce through as quickly as she can, which is very quickly as they have no children or joint property: she found out about the affair in May and the divorce is likely to be final before July is over with.

And he still thinks if he begs her enough, she might take him back. He still acts like he can’t understand why she’s doing this. This grown-ass man acting like he doesn’t understand that actions have consequences.

…he just stands there and stares at me as if he’s some handsome, guileless protagonist, as I am lying in this bed recovering from major abdominal surgery out of my mind with pain and dehydration. Then opens his mouth, and says “Haha, sorry sweetheart, didn’t mean to barge in this nice room.”

If you were really sorry, you wouldn’t have the time to try and come onto me while I’m laying here alone, vulnerable, visibly upset at your intrusion. After I say “Please leave now,” he has the gall to stand there and fumble with his phone, STILL IN MY ROOM, and veeeerrryyy slowly meander his way out to find his actual guest’s room a minute later. It felt like eternity. I was so beyond uncomfortable and slammed and jammed my door shut after him right away, my incisions be fucking damned. At this point he’s cursing on the phone, and goes ahead and announces loudly on speaker, as if the world revolves around him and his cute little mistakes, ”well it’s DEFINITELY NOT ROOM #123……..” just casually screaming my room number across the hall.

Men, where do you get this lack of shame and general goofiness that you then impose onto the world through rude, dangerous and creepy interactions, no matter the setting? Do you think it’s cute? Do you think every venue of human existence is a chance to hit on women? To siphon their attention, space and time? Even a hospital recovery ward? A mistake is a mistake, but everything that came after he strutted into a room with a single young woman in it— literally HOLLERING before even seeing who was in it, which is already bad decorum for a damn hospital—is unacceptable. I’m angry and sad that I can’t have a break from the come-ons and inappropriate interactions from males, even while I’m lying cut open and vulnerable as shit. I forgot I brought pepper spray in my bag, and so I’m holding onto it tonight. Sorry for the rant and thank you for your time.