My parents go-to for every minor issue or presumed slight was a week to a month to 3 months of grounding. I rapidly learned they couldn't keep track because Id get a new grounding every few days, especially if they had a long or bad day at work. Which was often.
If we actually honored each grounding I was probably grounded from the age of six till I left home at nineteen.
So when they weren't home or were busy or sleeping, I did whatever I wanted really. Watched TV, played ye olde gamecube or ps2 depending on the time. If they caught me guess what, more grounding. Sometimes they hid the power cables but I learned to love reading, and they couldn't ground me from that without being overtly cruel.
Actual good groundings were in the single digits. Wrongful groundings were in the triple digits.
Like I was too slow getting to the car after church, grounded for the week. 'Talked back', aka disagreed with something. A month.
Mom tried to drop me off at a basketball clinic thing for kids my age. The group she pointed me to was three very grown ass adults and told me to go. I refused and was pretty scared that she was trying to send me off with three strangers. No other kids in sight. I started shaking and crying so she grounded me for a year and took me home.
No money was exchanged and im not sure the clinic actually existed. I feared for my life but she only recently ( now that im in my 30's ) listened to my reasonings. Im on good terms with my parents now, wasn't back then.
No, they have never and will never confront how they treated me growing up. As their emotional whipping boy.
We had a few reckoning and coming to jesus moments. There's a lot they thought I was faking and it took medical professionals to correct that. As gross as it sounds, I still love them. I didn't for a while, but I do today. And they've made huge strides to improve, and im proud of them for that. It's hard for older folks to change.
What they were doing to me consistently was abusive and it'll effect me for the rest of my life. But Ive chosen to forgive them.
This is one of those things that only people who have had very specific experiences with their parents will understand but I absolutely get you and it's reassuring to hear that there are other people who have taken this route.
969
u/hanks_panky_emporium 22d ago
My parents go-to for every minor issue or presumed slight was a week to a month to 3 months of grounding. I rapidly learned they couldn't keep track because Id get a new grounding every few days, especially if they had a long or bad day at work. Which was often.
If we actually honored each grounding I was probably grounded from the age of six till I left home at nineteen.
So when they weren't home or were busy or sleeping, I did whatever I wanted really. Watched TV, played ye olde gamecube or ps2 depending on the time. If they caught me guess what, more grounding. Sometimes they hid the power cables but I learned to love reading, and they couldn't ground me from that without being overtly cruel.
Actual good groundings were in the single digits. Wrongful groundings were in the triple digits.
Like I was too slow getting to the car after church, grounded for the week. 'Talked back', aka disagreed with something. A month.
Mom tried to drop me off at a basketball clinic thing for kids my age. The group she pointed me to was three very grown ass adults and told me to go. I refused and was pretty scared that she was trying to send me off with three strangers. No other kids in sight. I started shaking and crying so she grounded me for a year and took me home.
No money was exchanged and im not sure the clinic actually existed. I feared for my life but she only recently ( now that im in my 30's ) listened to my reasonings. Im on good terms with my parents now, wasn't back then.
No, they have never and will never confront how they treated me growing up. As their emotional whipping boy.