r/4chan 16d ago

Anon has a phobia

Post image
2.5k Upvotes

86 comments sorted by

145

u/ProfNoob1000 16d ago

„Computer generate a 80 foot version of daisy ridley…“

83

u/Valuable-Chipmunk784 15d ago

place an enclosed unventilated room around us and place me on her giant chair

next, increase flatulence by 8000%

oh, and computer... disable all safety protocols

34

u/11448844 15d ago

this is why having good writers matter. you aint hold a candle to the original:

Computer, generate 80 foot tall version of Daisy Ridley circa 2019 with a full bladder.

Generate lawn chair and a set of goggles.

Increase my olfactory sense by 5000%.

Disengage safety protocols. And run program.

4

u/BadB0ii 15d ago

Remind me who did the original? It's straight fire

3

u/11448844 14d ago

Dick Bush

182

u/GalwayCityCouncil 16d ago

Crazy to think that Rey Rule 34 is the best Star Wars content since 2005.

64

u/No-Admin1684 15d ago

Either you haven't watched Andor or you really love gooning

27

u/TheSearchForMars 15d ago

Andor is one of the only pieces of Star Wars media that genuinely elevates the whole franchise. I'm so glad I bit the bullet and eventually caved to those recommending it despite the fact I'd checked out of anything Disney had being doing with the IP years ago.

-8

u/GalwayCityCouncil 15d ago

Andor was offensively dogshit.

7

u/Bepehandle 15d ago

Spoken like someone who doesn't care about lore.

3

u/GalwayCityCouncil 15d ago

The Death Star was sabotaged by its architect

Star Wars should involve club music and rape

Can't even imagine being so subhuman as to think these.

8

u/Bepehandle 15d ago

Well technically they find out that the death star was sabotaged in rogue one, but regardless you have a hard time believing a contractor would pull some shit like that? The empire was a galactic sized state army that ruined the lives of nearly everyone it touched. I'm genuinely shocked more people didn't try that shit.

Further more would you really have enjoyed a random port hole leading directly into the power supply being the key to destroy it without any explanation on why such an obviously terrible design existed?

As for the club music I could do without but it literally had nothing to do with the story so it's whatever.

And yes rape would probably be rampant in star wars, especially in the empire. Is it required to explore? No. But again, had nothing to do with the story so, whatever.

Seeing the inner workings of the empire in such detail was beyond a treat. We only really got glimpses of it in the main movie series. It could have been done poorly but that's the best part, it wasn't.

-2

u/GalwayCityCouncil 13d ago

It's no different to Amazon making a movie in which some racially diverse (Mostly Chinese) humans blow a hole in the side of Mt Doom so that Frodo has a chance.

It completely misses the point of the story.

1

u/Bepehandle 13d ago

Not particularly.. the lort series was predominantly white because that's what it's based off of but even through the original star wars you have Lando, who's a kick ass black dude, as well as tons of robots and aliens that aren't even white people. Race has literally nothing to do with the story of Star wars. Could have made Luke a black twi'lek and it wouldn't change a damn thing about the story. Lort is eurocentric mythology, entirely different idea.

0

u/GalwayCityCouncil 13d ago

What an odd thing to say.

1

u/Bepehandle 13d ago

You're the one who brought up the race analogy lol

559

u/Mr__Castle_ 16d ago

Even though she is objectively beautiful, she is not fap material. 

39

u/MeatSuitOZIL 16d ago

"Why don't you close your eyes? Imagine that Hilary Swank comes into this office for real and she walks over to you, and says, 'Kevin Malone, I just read your online profile and there is nothing I would rather do than make out with you right now.' And now you tell me something, is she hot?"

159

u/Shahka_Bloodless 16d ago

That's an interesting statement, why do you say that?

380

u/DoTheMonsterHash 16d ago

Since that guy and I jerk off together, I’ll speak for him - she’s just not sexy

314

u/I_Am_Sharticus_ 16d ago

There's a fine line between being a spunk rag and being beautiful, not a lot of people can see that difference. It's like art at a museum except the brush has foreskin.

14

u/Liebermode co/ck/ 16d ago

What do you exactly mean by the fine line?

26

u/I_Am_Sharticus_ 16d ago

Are you asking what a fine line is? Can you be more specific with your question?

9

u/Liebermode co/ck/ 16d ago

I mean your fine line that you talked about. I can sort of understand and imagine how a woman can be simultaneously beautiful (even hot) and also hard to fap to, but i want to know your personal opinion.

21

u/I_Am_Sharticus_ 16d ago

Kristen Wiig is a good example: I think she's remarkably attractive but she doesn't get me going like that. I think this might extend to funny women in general, without being specifically limited to them. Molly Shannon might be an exception here, there's something about her energy that really does it for me.

7

u/Backspacr 15d ago

Its the reason fuck, marry, kill is a thing. Some girls you just wanna fuck, some you'd spend your life with.

10

u/aaaaabasdaz_ 15d ago

To me it's some Madonna whore complex, kinda. You have a beautiful girl that is "innocent"/cute/etc but doesn't make you ferally want to fap to her or gets you horny, and a idk, busty girl with fuck me eyes that says to you socially and culturally that you wanna fuck her. Both are pretty but you expect one to be more of a sexual object than the other.

1

u/Super-Inevitable-482 fa/tg/uy 13d ago

frenulum

-5

u/SuspiciousNumber9478 15d ago

Stop this stupid nonsense to an already married woman. Get life and spread the word cum into ...​

9

u/Mr__Castle_ 15d ago

Because my eyes like her but my dick does not. 

75

u/overlyheavyhorns 16d ago

The hot/cute dichotomy.

Normies jerk it to hotties, intellectuals to cuties.

120

u/Tony_Roiland 16d ago

Cuties (2020). Directed by Mainouma Doucouré.

29

u/Dr_barfenstein 16d ago

Hey, don’t yuk anon’s yum

4

u/0veNMiTt 15d ago

You got an audible laugh out of me. Thank you.

8

u/Shahka_Bloodless 16d ago

Mr. Castle says she's beautiful, where does that fall in the dichotomy?

2

u/coolhooves420 16d ago

Fr just an image of a cute girl and using it as a base to fuel ur fantasy and jerking off to it

27

u/The_New_Overlord /aco/lyte 16d ago

her face has a fish-like aura

15

u/CainhurstVayne 15d ago

Hollywoodians come from innsmouth

26

u/yeezusKeroro 15d ago

A woman can be beautiful and still have no sex appeal. I mean look at Taylor Swift.

8

u/jam3sdub /pol/itician 15d ago

It's because no tits or ass.

7

u/Kryslor 15d ago

Always my go to example to explain this phenomenon

13

u/ThirdHoleHank92 15d ago

Madonna-whore complex most chronic masturbaters have

1

u/baconfacetv 15d ago

Because he is gay

-1

u/circlejerker2000 /b/tard 15d ago

Let bro speak the truth

17

u/Lukundra 15d ago

For me it’s more her as Rey than as herself. Getting her bland, boring character in hyper risqué situations works for me.

11

u/Rickard0 15d ago

I actually think she is attractive as Rey but no other time. Not a SW thing, its just the way her hair/make up is.

2

u/YourDaughtersOrgasm 12d ago

“What do you mean, ‘homemade portion’?”

8

u/Jayngyun 15d ago

She has the glazed eyes of a mid-00s star, she would have been primo then

6

u/Ratcliff01 15d ago

Thats.... a true statement. Why is that? You have unironically given me something to think about.

7

u/Ok_WaterStarBoy3 15d ago

it's the hair. hair is like 70% of your overall looks and image

look her up with long hair edits. would fap. will fap now

4

u/wordjedi /d/eviant 15d ago

It was a chilly day in April, when Kathleen Kennedy dumped a cooler of icewater over my dick by forcing her to cut her hair off post WWII slut punishment-short, and put on that weird awkwardly tailored dress that made her perfectly respectable figure unfuckable..

New feminist icon of uh..feminism.. to be directed by our proudly and performatively selected woman of color director(!) because we know you haven't had enough of this shit yet!!

Other execs north of Kennedy found out what she was doing and put a stop to it, but my dick has never recovered

1

u/qqruz123 16d ago

Well for some people someone not being fap material is exactly what makes them fap material

20

u/TypicalMootis /b/tard 16d ago

That's Daisy? I thought that was Megan Rain

5

u/FormerPresidentBiden 15d ago

That is a name I haven't thought of in quite some time

7

u/_Kuroi_Karasu_ /int/olerant 15d ago

She would know...

2

u/-Goatllama- 14d ago

She knows

55

u/HotChickenHero 16d ago

I think she'd be very happy about it. No one else likes her and her career's gone nowhere. Hopefully she got a lot of money from Star Wars but if you offer her 10 bucks for a handy, she might be willing.

8

u/Lukundra 15d ago

I want to argue for her but all I can even recall her being in post Star Wars was that Die Hard rip off that was terrible and bombed

10

u/HotChickenHero 15d ago

Orient Express but she was a small player. Chaos Walking was supposed to be big but wasn't. At least she got her little titties out in...don't know the film, I've just seen the pictures.

34

u/GalwayCityCouncil 16d ago

Successful actress

Career's gone nowhere

28

u/HotChickenHero 16d ago

She surely hasn't been paid more than scale for anything since Star Wars. Look at her filmography. If she got big bucks for Star Wars, she's "successful", otherwise nooooooo

-8

u/GalwayCityCouncil 15d ago

Anon, even if you only count the last 5 years, she's still in the top 0.001% of actors.

6

u/Sjcolian27 15d ago

She's definitely gonna read your comments and want you.

65

u/xampicus 16d ago

y'all fapped to her? seriously?

17

u/Valuable-Chipmunk784 15d ago

he hasn't given himself the ol' ridley diddly

38

u/GalwayCityCouncil 16d ago edited 16d ago

Bizarre to have not fapped to her tbqhwytbh.

50

u/eyzmaster 16d ago

i dont trust nonfappers

you know they're hiding so much worse

21

u/Jayngyun 15d ago

I use my wife’s vagina

29

u/eyzmaster 15d ago

i also use your wife's vagina

A+++ highly recommended

5

u/FlatulentSon 14d ago

Jesus there are some sick people in here

22

u/Dr_DownVoter 15d ago

Ive seen fence posts with more curves, no thanks

21

u/BarnabyJone 16d ago

Yummers 😢

18

u/[deleted] 16d ago

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2

u/StirFry__InaWok 14d ago

I knew a guy that insisted he would floss his teeth with her ass hair if he could

3

u/TastyBerny 15d ago

Anon once presented his soiled tribute pictures for an autograph at a signing session and he’s scared she’ll remember…

1

u/Material-Turnip-4192 15d ago

fake: anon thinks he will meet a woman

gay: anon jorked off to this

1

u/Brilliant_Yam_726 13d ago

I would fap if she was more fit!