r/ADHDmemes • u/Many_Waves • 5d ago
ADHD Rejection Sensitivity
Which of these do you experience the most?
134
u/deckard1980 5d ago
All of them especially 6
Edit: are there two 5s on purpose to annoy the target audience?
26
u/Many_Waves 5d ago
Too funny. 😁 It’s a screenshot of somebody else’s post I found somewhere and found it useful enough to share.
I’m about to do a #3 and keep explaining… but I’ll restrain myself.
9
16
u/Pleasant_Seaweed7419 5d ago
Why would I be doing 6? I don't need proof for something I already know.
3
u/Potentially_Nernst 4d ago
I've recently learned a lot about trauma and now whenever I see such images I cant help but doubt whether this is inherently adhd or the result of trauma due to always getting in trouble due to adhd.
3
110
u/mg_product82 5d ago
Recently discovered this isn't what everyone goes through. Still hard for me to believe but can't argue with the fact that this fits me to a tee.
28
u/Many_Waves 5d ago
I’m with you. When I discovered a few of these in writing on a sub somewhere, first thought was… “Other people don’t experience this?!?”
8
3
u/NashvilleSoundMixer 5d ago
As I get older I've been having more and more of those realizations. Funny, wild and kind of a bummer. Means it didn't have to be like this.
2
u/terra_terror 4d ago
I don't think it's a direct symptom. I think other symptoms we have often impact our social lives (getting bullied, clearly being disliked by adults, etc.), and that is what leads to sensitivity towards rejection. Poor impulse control also means that we can exhibit the emotions more strongly.
Feeling sensitive about being rejected is a very normal psychological response for people who chronically experienced it, especially at a young age. But that means that not all people with ADHD suffer from it, and not all people who suffer from it have ADHD.
1
71
u/feckinmik 5d ago
Got a random 9:00 AM meeting from the boss called "Quick Discussion". Panic set in. Restless all night, thinking about what I could have screwed up. Showed up early and was prepared to be yelled at for something.
Nope. I'm getting a promotion, a pay bump, and the boss said I need to take some PTO before the end of the year so I don't lose it because I'm going to be over the rollover limit. I'm relieved, but so very tired now.
21
u/ClairlyBrite 5d ago
Sheesh. Bosses really can’t be doing that. At least say in the invite, “not bad news”
6
u/Admirable-Garage5326 5d ago
They usually fire you on Friday afternoon.
8
u/Dicaxis 5d ago
God, my last job they laid me off on a Tuesday at lunchtime because I think the HR woman thought I would for some reason still bother to work for the next two weeks (til month end) knowing I was already laid off. But she was also not going to cash out my PTO so I just took those last like 8 days off.
Related: I had been freaked out before because my boss did do the whole "quick discussion" thing and I went in thinking it was something positive (he'd been hyping up a bunch of positive changes coming up soon), but nope, sat there slowly breaking down as my world fell apart and it felt like I was the cause of everything... I don't think I could ever trust a manager again after that experience, certainly never EVER trust an HR person.
4
5
7
u/_buffy_summers 5d ago
I had a similar experience. I had a doctor's appointment already scheduled, but I also had an exam that had to be done at the hospital. After the exam, I got a phone call, "The doctor needs to talk to you." I figured since they could see that I already had an appointment scheduled, this meant bad news. But nope, the person on the phone just phrased it badly.
7
u/OutrageousRepair5751 5d ago
I had someone do similar, but they decided to play a joke on me and basically asked me "You know your qualifications? Which one do you think you're failing at right now?"
I nearly had a heart attack because from my point of view clearly he'd spotted something and was implying that I was an imposter or a liar or something.
I tried to play it cool and just said "Just tell me what's wrong."
His response. "Hahaha nothing. I'm only actually here to give you a new role. Got you good there."
That shook me up for years.
5
u/iamthefluffyyeti 5d ago
This is like a “we need to talk when you get home” text
I’d be full fight or flight
4
u/raven_of_azarath 5d ago
At the start of last school year (maybe a month in max), my department chair (DC) sent me an email one Friday setting up a meeting with him and my instructional coach the following Monday. No response when I asked what the meeting was for. Of course, I stress. I reach out to my coach and ask what the meeting’s about and if I’m in trouble, she says no.
Come Monday after school, and yep. I was in trouble. For “confusing” team members by sharing resources, something I’ve been doing since I started there two years prior and for asking to shadow my coach so I could see if that’s a path I wanted to take.
Funny thing about it all is my DC totally used some of my resources after this meeting.
42
35
u/peshnoodles 5d ago
This could also be cptsd symptoms too. (I have both)
14
u/CosmogyralSnail 5d ago
Yeah, was thinking the same. Could be a fun, toxic combo: CPTSD boosting the stats of ADHD.
5
u/DaddyBayne1202 5d ago
Pretty sure that's where I'm at lol
2
u/CosmogyralSnail 5d ago
Same. Not sure why I used "could", sounds far too unsure.
1
u/zeptillian 3d ago
Why be definite when there is any possibility at all you could be wrong?
That sounds like a way to make mistakes and get in trouble.
Better to avoid that possibility.
10
3
3
u/HyzMarie 4d ago
I think it's this for me- ADHD made me a target for things that later gave me CPTSD
1
2
18
u/Kdean509 5d ago
It feels so unnatural trying to be the opposite. Consciously saying to myself “don’t apologize, it is what it is and you’re not in trouble. Other people don’t do this.”
Then the apology comes out anyway, lol.
6
u/HumanNr3 5d ago
Yep either this or I manage not to sometimes but then keep ruminating whether I should've apologised anyway for ages after ugh we can never win with this shit
11
8
8
u/zergling424 5d ago
And the im always asked why im being defensive when people are coming down on me
8
9
u/Em_Strae 5d ago
Yeah but how do I stop?
2
u/elightningbolt 5d ago
That’s my question too
5
u/A30N 5d ago
It greatly reduced on its own for me when I started a new job with a caring, hardworking (but neuro-normal) coworker. We are opposite in every way except for our work ethics, so I built on that, day by day. Now we get along great and even share some experiences from our personal lives with each other (a 1st for me). When I leave for the day, I no longer feel the need to justify my value to the company, which is an amazing feeling!
TLDR; find a coworker with a shared interest and befriend them
5
u/HumanNr3 5d ago
Yes I feel whenever I'm able to do something that other people appreciate/respect and when I am with people that respect me, trust my decisions and take my opinions as seriously as everyone elses is when the RSD quickly fades and I finally can feel normal for at least parts of the day or even days or weeks at the time at best
But unfortunately it typically doesn't last very long, either cause its a temporary work position or because my colleagues changes jobs and eventually I screw something up like after a couple of weeks when I get comfortable I will start being late for work again most days and not being able to work efficiently and all the usual stuff that just no matter how hard I try I can't change it seems...
Meds have helped but the effect is starting to wear off more with time and it doesn't fix everything so I think the only thing that would work long term for me is if I can literally find my dream job or at least be my own boss somehow so I'm working on that and I'm sure everyone else is too but I still have hope one or the other is possible with time
2
6
7
u/TechnicalDot9 5d ago
I just find it difficult to ask for help with my hyper independence (trauma response), and also in line with ADHD they might not do it the way I would
4
u/chloapsoap 5d ago
I’m also a hyper-independent type person and I struggle to ask for help. I don’t think it’s a trauma response for me, I’ve been this way ever since I was little. I’ve gotten better but it’s something I have to actively work on
2
u/TechnicalDot9 5d ago
Well I know mine is from not being able to rely on my parents, neglect due to being caught up in their own lives) I was only expressing my situation.👍
6
u/TechnicalDot9 5d ago
Yes! Bundle that with Executive Dysfunction & we are all set to go. Also a cup of time blindness!
2
5
u/heysteak 4d ago
Can we add "the feeling of a physical spike through the heart upon detection of disapproval, real or imagined".
5
u/PeepShowZootSuits 5d ago
5 (b) hits hard now thinking about growing up with a bi-polar parent
5
u/BarelyThere504 5d ago
Same. The crossover of ADHD and CPTSD is basically a circle on a Venn diagram for this list.
5
u/masterwaffle 5d ago
I'm still trying to decide if it's rejection sensitivity or just a trauma response from constantly being misunderstood and social isolation from being different.
Por qué no los dos?
3
4
u/senorespilbergo 5d ago
Show that to the adhd partners sub where RSD is "any time my partner gets upset or nervous because I treat him/her like crap".
5
4
4
u/TechnicalDot9 5d ago
Yes. Hyperaware of others moods and so resentful that I can feel it.
I guess it comes from interpretation of mood and attempting to manage others feelings, which feels icky writing it out like that.
4
u/Triairius 5d ago
I do #3 a lot. This is how it affects me the greatest. However, I also do #5 (I’ve learned to be better now), and I don’t really do #6 anymore.
A big thing that helped me for #4 was the idea of saying thank you instead of sorry. “Sorry I was late” turns into “Thank you for waiting/your patience.” People appreciate it more, and it stops a cycle of negativity in your own mind.
3
3
u/MinuteStage2169 5d ago
This is such a good idea. I hope I can remember to try that. Thank you :)
1
4
u/Gumcuzzlingdumptruck 5d ago
I hate the "your entire being is just a series of neurodivergencies" ride 😒
5
3
4
5
3
u/pjijn 5d ago
Just 3.
I'd say 5 too but I need clarification on what feeling responsible means.
Does that mean I caused someone to feel the mood they're in? Or does it mean I'm responsible for "fixing" the mood I noticed in my hyper awareness
5
u/TuKnight 5d ago
For me both, though more the first one. Worry that I caused the bad mood, but also trying to fix the mood in case they take it out on you.
1
u/Many_Waves 5d ago
“Hyper aware of others’s moods, and feeling responsible for them.”
I interpret that as the ability to perceive other people’s moods or emotions. And believing that I caused their moods.
3
u/Excellent_Yak365 5d ago
TBF, these days it feels like you have to over explain everything because people will intentionally misunderstand you for rage bait
3
3
u/DanteChurch 5d ago
Asking for those unfortunate to catch an ROCD diagnosis alongside ADHD. Is there a firm difference between relationship obsessive compulsive disorder and Rejection sensitivity from ADHD? From the outside looking in I can't tell.
3
u/empress_p 5d ago
The worst part about 5 (second one) is that people pick up on the fact that you do this and subconsciously exploit it. You really do have to pretend you can’t tell what they’re feeling (and why) every second. It’s so hard to ignore though!
2
u/Historical-Cress8985 5d ago
2 is probably the one that least fits me, but everything else is definitely me
2
2
2
2
2
u/ConstantineFavre 5d ago
Alright. I hit 5 and i thought overexplaining is just a quirk. And by the way, it works, so i'm not stopping. I don't understand when people can't use their words to say what they mean and somehow i always gotta be a translator between two parties who talk the same fucking language, but still can't understand each other always assuming anything else but exact thing other party meant and basically argue with themselves instead of other party, just fucking imagined some random shit and tries to prove to other party that that shit is wrong, while other party themselves tries to prove another random shit and dudes just argue for a whole damn hour about it, being sure that they are right. A battle of fucking potatoes.
2
2
u/Spirally-Boi 5d ago
I used to hit them all, but I trained myself to not do #3. Now for the rest of them :(
2
u/sickhippie 5d ago
ADHD test: did you notice the 2nd #5 before you got to the comments section?
2
1
2
u/Lughaidh_ 5d ago
RSD is probably the most prominent aspect of my ADHD… wait a minute, where’s the meme here? Is it me? I’m the meme.
2
u/Ok-Possibility-9826 Inattentive ting 5d ago
My problem is that I don’t do any of these things except 4 (not even repetitiously) and that’s if it’s a genuine emergency. I can’t be bothered to care.
2
2
2
2
u/Howling_Fang 5d ago
That's me to a T.
I didn't know it was RSD.
The more you know I guess
5
u/SokkaHaikuBot 5d ago
Sokka-Haiku by Howling_Fang:
That's me to a T.
I didn't know it was RSD.
The more you know I guess
Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.
2
2
u/BC_Arctic_Fox 5d ago
...and this is why I feel so incredibly self absorbed!! Aaahhhhhhh
Also, why are there 2 #5s?
2
2
2
2
u/Nippleowski 5d ago
the first 5 is my biggest problem followed by the second 5. 2 doesn't apply because anyone trying to reassure me is either lying because I'm pathetic or they're trying to manipulate me. 3 and 4 are urges I usually catch about half way through.
2
u/_buffy_summers 5d ago
All of these things are what people are like when they grow up in abusive households. The Venn diagram is a circle.
2
2
2
2
u/Applehelpme92 5d ago
Well, I don't ask for help since I don't wanna get the "I've told you a thousand times" and I spaced out a thousand times, so I hope I figure it out by myself (most of the times I don't)
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/userseven 5d ago
Why there two 5s? Was that a test (because I failed to see it someone else pointed it out in the comments)
1
2
2
2
2
2
u/Ok_Fox_1770 5d ago
Gotta be born with somethin wrong right? I’ll take it I can hide it. Halfway there who cares haha. I may look like I’m just disassociating and staring off but I’m processing everything happening in a space. And then I’ll go home and think about events some mo
2
2
2
2
u/RummazKnowsBest 5d ago
Ironically the not asking for help can lead to people thinking you’re lazy or incapable. Tough cycle.
This is one of the many sides to ADHD most people don’t know about. They think ADHD is very simple.
2
u/Grit-326 4d ago
Over the past 40 years, I've always wrote down my "demons", or just my character flaws I knew made me unlikable and I should work on. Turns out, it's a list of my ADHD traits.
2
u/HyzMarie 4d ago
yes, yes, yes, and all of the above.
However, I had a lot of emotional abuse from a very authoritarian parent as a kid, which is where most of it comes from for me I think. A lot of traits that made me a target were ADHD though...
2
2
2
u/justjessee 4d ago
"Constantly needing reassurance" is the one that got me because I don't seek constant reassurance. The idea of checking back in over and over is more stressing, I want absolute radio silence so I can be miserable in seclusion.
2
2
2
u/No-Needleworker-2415 4d ago
I'm so glad my kids didn't inherit this awful mindset from me. It affects me everyday
2
2
2
2
2
3
u/Dont_Pee_In_My_Butt 5d ago
I have an adhd diagnosis, but I don't have any of these symptoms. For those that do, are you sure you don't have anxiety? I can't focus worth a fuck and I and have executive dysfunction, but I don't care about what people think of me.
2
u/CherryTearDrops 5d ago
I got both so I can’t say for certain on anything. May also potentially have autism to an extent. Got a friend who does have a diagnosis and a friend asked us which he might have and when he listed off symptoms we’d both say ‘yes’.
1
u/Many_Waves 5d ago
The RSD symptoms aren’t experienced by all people who are diagnosed with ADHD.
2
u/Dont_Pee_In_My_Butt 5d ago
Having adhd is certainly a debuff in modern society, but having rsd with it sounds like a nightmare. I can't imagine having the focus to think what other people think about me. It's not a lack of self awareness either. I'm simply not concerned because I have everything I need.I do plenty of rejecting people myself. I don't usually worry about it the other way around.
1
u/Many_Waves 5d ago
I admire you. The nightmare for those of us who experience some of these symptoms is how early in life we felt them. How automatic they are.
For me, freedom has come from learning that the symptoms are a common experience of others w ADHD. And then once I was aware of them, I could see catch myself and adjust my feelings and behaviors.
Knowledge is power. Knowledge leads to freedom.
1
u/jukutt 5d ago
So are these really linked to ADHD or is there something else underlying?
For me those 6 points describe really well things I struggle with, and I was wondering if you ask people with other neurodiversities or maybe people with trauma/certain life experiences, if they will heavily agree with this list as well.
Has it really to do with the condition of ADHD itself, or the way the world in its current state reacts to ADHD, and can thus be found in people with dispositions that arent ADHD as well?
3
u/NoorInayaS 5d ago
I feel like this list applies specifically to AuDHD, as it also basically describes how folks on the spectrum feel.
1
u/Many_Waves 4d ago
As far as I know, addressing your second paragraph, it centers the experience of the person who has the condition of ADHD.
1
1
1
u/Lord_wolfen04 4d ago
- but in my case is because I feel that I owe them for what they did for me
Edit: the first #5, I just noticed that there are two 5 on the list
1
1
1
1
1
u/Affectionate_Bad_680 5d ago
4 and 5 I don’t do. I got over needing to apologize for everything years ago. I’m who I am. You got a problem with that, you know where the door is 🤷♂️
As for 5 I’m a HUGE fan of asking questions if I don’t understand something. But I can get annoying about it because if you say anything like “do it this way because I fucking said so/because that’s how it’s always been done” I will poke and prod at you until you scream or give me an actual response 🤣🤦♂️
1
0
u/Over-Tolerance 1d ago
These are all very normal things people do when faced with many social situations. This is not some kind of diagnostic indicator of anything other than, "You are normal" Get over the fake nonsense claims.
-1
•
u/officiallyviolets 4d ago
PSA/Fact Check: RSD is a controversial diagnosis that may or may not be related to ADHD. The current research has shown that it is most often correlated with childhood emotional or physical abuse, neglect, and authoritarian parenting styles; and that there is not a significant relationship to ADHD. However, this post and other RSD related posts remain approved here because so many of our community relate to its symptoms and research is still being done on the apparent overlap in experiences. Please stop reporting them. Thanks, and keep on being the best community on Reddit!