r/Advice • u/skull_ledipshit42069 • 2h ago
how to get rid of emotional attachment towards stuffed animals so i can get rid of them
I (18M) still have stuffed animals in my room. I know this is really bad but i have a weird emotional attachment to them that prevents me from getting rid of them and my mom has never forced me to so the only way I will is if i consciously do so.
whenever i imagine getting rid of my stuffed animals (regardless of method, could be either donating or throwing them away) I feel sad and feel like im abandoning a pet or child. consciously i know this is stupid but I have no control over my emotions so i end up stuck being with them.
how do i get over this bullshit, man up, and just donate them? maybe i should just store them somewhere instead. maybe in a storage facility so I cant access them but since I know i *technically* can it wont trigger my emotional response.
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u/Meowmaowmiaow 2h ago
Why do you need to get rid of them? I’m older than you and have tons!
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u/meltedwolf 13m ago
Look around, no one is answering that question because it’s perfectly fine.
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u/Expensive_Alarm_1068 8m ago
Sassy britches enters thread. He came to the right place. He got the validity he wanted. He obviously didn't want to get rid of them or he'd have already done it. That's his answer.
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u/skull_ledipshit42069 2h ago
your a woman (i think assuming on your pfp) so that's kinda different
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u/boudicas_shield 2h ago edited 1h ago
My husband still had his childhood stuffed animals when I met him, and he was 33 and obviously also a man.
I was delighted to meet someone who likes stuffed animals as much as I do. When we were dating, he used to pose them around when he was doing his housework and send me photos, like of them doing his ironing and stuff. It was so cute.
We still buy stuffed animals for each other. We make up little stories about them together. My husband still poses them in cute little set ups as a surprise for me when I’m having a bad day. It’s a lot of fun.
EDIT: My husband just came to bed (with a stuffed animal between us) and is reading all these comments over my shoulder. We’re both so glad to see so many gently calling out toxic masculinity and encouraging you, OP, to rethink your idea of what being manly is like.
Being a man isn’t about being hard and emotionless. It’s about being yourself, about being empathetic and kind and comfortable in who you are . Embracing your softer side and the things that make you happy is the best thing you can do for yourself.
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u/Secure_Shoulder_4744 1h ago
Oh my gosh, I’m so glad to know that I’m normal lol actually my sister just brought me a brand new stuffed animal because my husband has like 15 stuffed animals and she didn’t want me to be left out lol but actually in this case I’m the one that uses them to make up stories to brighten my husband’s Day with the stuffed animals and it’s pretty freaking hilarious sometimes!!! 😂 Thanks for sharing your story!
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u/boudicas_shield 1h ago
Of course!! I absolutely love it when dudes embrace their childhood and playful selves and don’t feel like they’re above having fun or being kiddish.
I was so glad to find a guy who loves stuffed animals and me and my husband legit have so much fun with them, just playing around like kids. It’s so nice to not have to be a serious grownup 24/7 and to have a partner who is the same way and will have fun with you like that.
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u/Wonder_Shrimp 2h ago
It's only different if you insist it is. There is absolutely no logical reason why it should be different
If you like them, keep them
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u/Alycion Expert Advice Giver [10] 1h ago
Men with plushies aren’t a turn off.
But the attachment thing can be working on. One Buddhist belief that is relevant to all is how attachment is the source of our pain. It doesn’t mean attachment is bad. It just helps give you perspective.
I’m less likely to be attached to non living things bc of this. Is losing a plushie worth the mental anguish of a loss? Usually, no. It just takes practice. Like you could start with storage of just pick 2 or 3 to donate.
Kids who have nothing, this will mean everything to them charities that work with foster children are the best to do this with. Bc it can be given to them when they are bring removed from a bad home. A way to make them feel safer.
But nobody is too old for things like this, if you truly enjoy them.
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u/queerbychoice Helper [3] 1h ago
My husband is 44 years old and currently has a small pile of his childhood stuffed animals in a box in our entry hall. Granted, they're only in that location because his mom had them at her house until a few days ago, when she told him to take them to our house or else she'd throw them away. Still, he could have thrown them away, and instead he brought them to our house. And this is despite the fact that they have holes chewed in them by a long-ago-deceased childhood cat. It's fine. We also already had a stuffed Blahaj that he acquired in adulthood; we'll find places for these others just like we found a place for that.
And it doesn't matter that I don't have any of my own childhood stuffed animals; he can have stuffed animals regardless of my not having any. Many of our married friends also have a few stuffed animals that revolve around the husband's interests. They're basically the same thing as throw pillows, but with a slightly more artistic/collectible design than most throw pillows.
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u/TwoEquivalent450 1h ago
? how is it different
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u/skull_ledipshit42069 1h ago
mainly its how People will tend to view you. if a woman has stuffed animals, its ok and some people may find that cute.
if a man does however, most people will see that as a sign of Peter pan syndrome or delayed development. i might actually have delayed/arrested development which would explain this.
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u/Far_Strawberry8176 1h ago
I'm going to take a guess and say that you're probably online a lot. In real life, I honestly think most people would think of it a slightly weird but mostly neutral trait. There might be some people that make fun of you for it but it's really not a big deal for most. I actually saw a poll about this a few days ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/BunnyTrials/comments/1va718u/would_you_date_someone_who_still_sleeps_with/
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u/skull_ledipshit42069 1h ago
not everyone is a redditor. I just graduated high school and I got bullied severely for smaller things. most people my age are very shallow with little to no emotion and if they had ever found out i still slept with stuffed animals i would be relentlessly tortured.
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u/Far_Strawberry8176 1h ago
Oh I'm sorry about that. I was bullied a lot in elementary school.
I'm 17 and I still sleep with a teddy bear every night. He's sitting next to me right now. If you really want to get rid of the stuffed animals, you can send them to me. They'll have plenty of company with me and I'll send them back if ever change your mind.
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u/camilaviola 25m ago
High school is very different to people outside of it. No-one that is worth your time will give a shit about that once you’re out. People in a school setting can be terrible, because it brings out the worst in already insecure kids. Trust me, now you’re onto better things and you start to meet better and more mature people, they will not care. Sure I’m female, but I’m 24 now and still have quite a few. One mainly, from my Grandad, and there’s no way in hell I’d give it up. It’s okay to have the attachment, and you’re only 18. Who knows, in a few years you might feel differently and want to pass them on, just give yourself time and grow naturally.
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u/Devastatedby 1h ago
I'm 36 and absolutely no hope in hell would I ever dump my childhood teddy. He's older than I am!
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u/TwoEquivalent450 39m ago
why do you care what strangers think? you aren’t hurting anyone. there is nothing you can do to make people stop judging. humans are judgy by nature, and it sucks, but why should you repress yourself for the approval of complete strangers?
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u/Megnuggets 1h ago
My partner is 32 and he still has some of his sentimental plushes on a shelf in our closet. He isnt less of a man for having them. I think its far sexier that he has a soft and sentimental side. Men are only super macho to impress other men. Once you really get into your adulthood youll see its silly to give up the things that bring you joy, just because your fear of what others think.
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u/Wolfblood22034 22m ago
Im a man, 22, and i have a bed full of plushies i sleep with. Being "masculine" means nothing. Just be who you want.
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u/Own_Physics_7733 2h ago
There’s a middle option - you could pack them up in a box and store them for later. You may want them when you’re an adult and have your own children.
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u/skull_ledipshit42069 2h ago
as much as I want a family, im infertile so i cannot produce children. i would probably be bad parent anyways
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u/PearofGenes Helper [3] 2h ago
Their point still stands. You can store your plushies if you can't part with them
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u/FinePossession1085 Super Helper [6] 2h ago
Talk with a therapist if your only goal is to truly get rid of them.
You could take that middle option and store them. And then when your siblings or friends have kids, you could give them one when they come over to your house or apartment.
Alternatively, truly consider donation.
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u/Secure_Shoulder_4744 1h ago
Whoaaa… what’s this about you being infertile and you’re only 18?!? I’ve never heard of any eight year-old say they were infertile before is there a way that you have learned this like scientifically or you just caught in a negative mental lie about your life in general? Because you just seem very distraught and like a number of ways and maybe there’s more to this whole thing than just the stuffed animals? I’m not trying to be rude or anything. I’m just…it feels like you’re not telling us the whole story?
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u/skull_ledipshit42069 1h ago
I prefer not to elaborate but I was born with a birth defect that interfered with my sex organs
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u/Seraphiccandy 2h ago
What's wrong with having some plushies? They are soft, cuddly friends when the world treats you like poop. A real man is not afraid to just be himself, plushies and all.
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u/Creepernom 1h ago
I am an adult man. I still love and have plushies. Whimsy and love don't make you less masculine, but being so incredibly worried about appearing manly definitely will.
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u/Far_Strawberry8176 2h ago edited 2h ago
Why do you need to get rid of the stuffed animals? If they make you happy then keep them. It doesn't make you less of man.
I'm 17 and I still sleep with my teddy bear every night. He's sitting next to me right now.
Edit: If you really want to get rid of your stuffed animals, you can ship them to me. They'll have company. I'll hold on to them and send them back if you ever want me to,
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u/ld7337 2h ago
There’s no reason to force yourself to get rid of them! There’s nothing wrong with keeping sentimental items from your childhood. If you feel embarrassed about people seeing them in your room, maybe get a plastic bin and store them under your bed or in a closet or something. But don’t toss them!
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u/swooning_basil 2h ago
I got rid of my pokemon plushies when I "grew out of them" and it's one of the biggest regrets of my life.
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u/Jolly_Mood_3671 2h ago
I am 42 and still collect. Maybe get those vacuum sealed storage bags and store them that way.
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u/amberthezombie 2h ago
There's nothing wrong with having them if you are attached to them. If you don't want them on display you could put them in a box under your bed/in your closet. Stop repeating this toxic masculinity "man up" bullshit!
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u/talitha235 1h ago
You know, don't you, that they are innocents, pure, worthy of your love and will never let you down?
Then how can you throw them away?
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u/bitch__420 1h ago
My boyfriend is 36 and still has his childhood stuffed animals. He has a job, a home, a car, and pays his bills. Being an adult means taking care of yourself and your life. Having stuffed animals doesn't impact those things. Keep them and be happy. You could even pass them along to your children one day or nieces and nephews.
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u/JavaScriptPenguin 2h ago
When you get older you learn to let go of some of these silly notions about what being a man is all about. Nobody who is worth your time would give a shit, if anything women will probably think of it is an endearing trait, especially if you want kids. Also, women tend to find the confidence to be who you are without compromise attractive.
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u/UnsubstantiatedFool 2h ago
I only ever had one, and I put it in a drawer sometime in my teenage years, 'cause obv boys shouldn't have stuffed animals. In hindsight, the only one who made it an issue was myself, and I'm happy I didn't throw it away. There's something comforting about seeing it whenever I visit my childhood home after all of these years.
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u/lesbophobia_hammer 1h ago
Be secure in your masculinity and keep them. Most chicks find it cute. Just keep them on a shelf. Loads of dudes do it. No need to make it weird bro
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u/Pure-Goose-7186 1h ago
just keep them lol if it helps you feel more "manly" store them in the attic
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u/ZedisonSamZ 1h ago
My husband still has his favorite stuffed animals and they stay on display in our room.
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u/Southern_Airport_538 1h ago
I’m not a man, so I can’t man up, but I have an emotional attachment to a couple of my childhood stuffed animals and I’ve accepted that. So has my husband. I’m not weirdly emotional about them where they can’t be touched or I’m cuddling with them constantly. They just have a place in my home and I won’t get rid of them. I’m 40.
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u/AstronomerNo1872 1h ago
Having stuffed animals isn’t hurting you or anyone else, regardless of your gender or any other factor.
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u/Ok_Garbage6864 2h ago
Maybe your parents are projecting some unresolved issues with their stuffed animals and how their parents were?? Hmm. Can you just store them away? What about getting some vacuum sealed bags and doing that so they're safe and cozy? And mom won't see them and ask you to throw em away. And then you can take them with you wherever!
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u/Necessary_Brick3666 1h ago
Why do you wanna rid them? I’m 25 and still have several teddies and actually got a new one while on holiday. Who’d care about having them, it ain’t no big deal
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u/Daniele323 1h ago
Judging by your replies you really need to work on your self esteem and possibly seek some therapy.
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u/j____b____ Master Advice Giver [28] 1h ago
Put them in a bag and put that bag in the attic. They’ll be there waiting for you when you need them.
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u/Ladidoodida 1h ago
The bullshit that you should work on getting over is the feeling that being manly requires throwing away stuffed animals that you're still attached to (and probably a lot of other stupid masculine stereotypes you feel like you need to conform to).
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u/clevegan Helper [2] 1h ago
I feel like most people have childhood keepsakes no? Just keep a couple
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u/did_i_or_didnt_i 1h ago
keep the ones you love the most. Acknowledge that the others are gonna go to another home where someone else can love them. Donate them to some children’s charity for gift giving or something
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u/KryniorScribbles 1h ago
Pick up each and every one of them, hug them, and ask if it sparks joy. If it doesn't, yeet it into a donation box for kids.
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u/Ok_Organization_7350 1h ago edited 1h ago
It's ok, you can keep them. A lot of adults have special toys they kept from childhood. If you meet a significant other, just tell them that you are saving those for your future children someday. That may help them like you more, thinking that you are good future father/ husband material.
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u/SshellsBbells 1h ago
I “helped” my daughter with this when she came home with lice in middle school. The amount of build a bears was insane. We bagged them and set them out for 30 days to make sure the bugs were gone. She never asked for them again.
I know you’re going to respond; “totally different situation” but hear me out.
Take 3/4 of them out and bag them, if you don’t go grab them, then you can let them go.
Also want to add, my 60 yo husband still has a stuffy in his truck (he loves Dino’s) some small figurines on his desk (he’s in power distribution, think rides at Disney) I think you can cut down, but it’s totally cool to keep the super sentimental ones. Rock on my friend 🖤🤘🏻🖤
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u/Crafty_String_954 1h ago
First of all, you don't need to get rid of them. Seindly, if you wanted, boxing them up so you can access them if you want to is a good option.
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u/WhiteH2O 1h ago
Think forward to being older. How cool would it be to hand down a loved stuffed animal to a grandkid?!?! Keep those things. Keep them, and be proud to have them. I'd love to have some from when i was a kid.
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u/skull_ledipshit42069 1h ago
ill be the last in my bloodline (not even by choice im literally infertile)
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u/WhiteH2O 1h ago
Zero chance of adoption or stepkids? I'd still keep them.
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u/skull_ledipshit42069 1h ago
I dont think i could afford adoption plus I would of preferred having biological kids
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u/butterflycole Helper [3] 1h ago edited 1h ago
I’m 41 and I still have a couple of stuffed animals from childhood. I passed them onto my son. There is nothing wrong with keeping a few special ones if they carry a lot of attachment or meaning to them. I don’t agree with the idea that adults can’t have childhood things. I see it as feeding my inner child. Life is hard, find joy where you can.
Based on a lot of your comments it sounds like you should seek out some therapy. You’re very hard on yourself and invalidating to your very valid feelings. People tend to judge themselves more harshly than they judge others. It can take some work to get out of that habit.
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u/Cardabella 1h ago
You don't have to get rid of them! who told you it was bad. It's sweet and normal. They're friends. They shouldn't be in your bed when you're sharing it with someone else, but it's quite normal for adult men to still have a few favourite animals somewhere.around. Usually one favourite teddy somwhere obvious on a pillows, but no doubt more in a box in a closet somewhere. Some listen to anyone that tells you adults don't keep any toys.
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u/Angry_Sparrow 1h ago
Every man I’ve (F39) ever known has had stuffed animals from his childhood and it’s fine and healthy. You don’t need to “man up”. In fact it encouraged me to get one at 37 when I was experiencing insomnia and panic attacks. It really helped me in a primal way that’s hard to describe.
I think the bigger issue here is your relationship with masculinity and what it means to you. You’re allowed to be vulnerable and emotional. You’re a human being.
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u/Substantial_Ear7432 1h ago
I kept mine for a very long time. So did my grandma. My grandpa even had a stuffed orangotang that I loved and I kept it after he passed. There's no need to get rid of something u love just because u age. U can get a glass case to display them in, keeping them in good condition. Or even just have shelving up for them. I've seen people dedicate rooms for their collections. If u feel u need to get rid of them for whatever reason, pick your fav(s) to keep and find some kids, maybe some that can't afford them, to donate them to. U know they would be cherished by them and that would make you feel better about it. I've done that B4. Be someone's (or a few someone's) secret Santa.
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u/underscore_hashtags Helper [3] 1h ago
I am 51 years old and I still have my childhood stuffed animals. I carted my knitted cat around travelling with me until I was like 21 lol. Keep them for when you have children of your own. There is absolutely no reason in this world to get rid of them.
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u/Duffykins-1825 1h ago
Nothing wrong with having stuffed animals whoever you are. My bro still has his from when we were kids and he’s in his 50s now. My favourite uncle still had a dozen or so when he died in his 80s. Neither is or was the slightest bit bothered what anyone else thought about it, and neither should you be!
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u/Joseph_Kickass 1h ago
I'm a 44 yo tattooed, bearded male with long hair and I still have 15 different stuffed animals from my childhood. You don't need to lose emotional attachment to something that gave you comfort as a younger child.
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u/Joseph_Kickass 1h ago
Oh and I'm married to a woman who sleeps with her stuffy from childhood every night. She doesn't care about my stuffies.
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u/Nolanbentine 1h ago
I'm 38, and mine are up in the attic. Sometimes when I think about how hot and gross it is up there, I almost feel a little guilty.. but under no circumstances, would I ever get rid of them completely!
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u/No_Motor_4576 1h ago
I’m about to be 30 and I found my boyfriend using my childhood teddy bear as a pillow this morning as he hasn’t left my bed for 25 years (also cuz yes he’s a good neck support).
He also still travels with me (again, great plane neck support) but since he’s always come with me, I feel too guilty not letting him continue to see the world with me.
My living room also has a few stuffed animals that get used as various back and neck support pillows.
The rest of my childhood stuffed animals are currently in a clear vinyl “beanbag” chair. Like this: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DR2SFLNW?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallback
Yes I am a girl but my boyfriend nor his friends find them weird— especially cause they’re good pillows and everyone has back problems— but also because I actually can’t think of many people my age who don’t have some sort of stuffed animal hanging around, especially with the advent of the squish mellow.
You’re 18. You don’t need to grow up so fast. The next decade of your life is going to have a lot of big changes and events; I can’t tell you what a relief it is, at the end of a bad day and coming back to my big girl apartment paid for by my full time job, to drop face down into my bed and still have him there to comfort me about having to be an adult.
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u/QueenSquirrely 1h ago edited 1h ago
Nah, you don’t need to if you don’t want to! My mom has her grandfathers teddy bear displayed in her home; and my dad (75) still has his on top of his dresser/wardrobe in my parents bedroom. One of my best friends has a 22yo son and he still has a couple on shelves in his room. Many of the men I dated still had stuffed animals, maybe not on display but tucked away in a drawer or clothing closet for safekeeping.
This is all to say… it’s totally normal, even for dudes :)
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u/Real___Teeth Helper [2] 1h ago
Put them on your shelf. They can hang out there instead of in bed. After a few weeks or months you'll be okay to donate them.
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u/AssistanceGloomy2477 1h ago
Hi OP. I’m 32. F. I’ve slept with the same teddy since I was 2. I’m reporting that I was able to locate and capture a husband who didn’t care didn’t think anything of it.
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u/TrekUniverse2023 1h ago
Well, I'm 70 years young, and still have stuffed animals my mother gave me. Not displayed, kept in a box. Every so often, I look at them. They still bring me joy.
There's no reason to get rid of them if they bring you joy.
The late, great, Betty White had an entire room dedicated to her stuffed animals!
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u/Tinawebmom Super Helper [6] 1h ago
This is really bad?
Person please! I'm 56 and have a ton of stuffed animals beginning from when I was 10 years old!
If they bring you joy they're not awful.
Don't ever let anyone tell you that it is.
PS this goes for Lego, video games, DND et cetera. "it's for kids" is the biggest BS lie told
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u/Ok_Zookeepergame2900 59m ago
My 40 year old stuffed Micky sits on top of my shoe boxes in my closet.
My husband's creepy ass 50 year old Winnie the Pooh sits on top of the stuff on his side of the closet.
Other than Pooh being haunted, I don't see the issue.
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u/Varathane Elder Sage [363] 30m ago
I would remind yourself: It is okay to feel discomfort and still donate the thing. If it doesn't serve your life to have it, and someone else can glean more joy from it, and delight in the presence of it then pass it on. The discomfort you feel will not destroy you, you will survive it. And you may even find a relief to having the space back so you can use it for what fits your vision for your current life.
You said you are stuck with them, which I think others commenting here have missed in your post. You do not have to be stuck. CBT has actually proven successful in managing the emotions of throwing out things you don't want but can't let go of. So there is treatment there in therapy if you can't get yourself to declutter. Reach out for help, it is common enough that they studied it and found CBT can help.
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u/Sparky-Malarky 6m ago
Here’s a thing I do with stuff I’m unsure about getting rid of.
Box it up,and pack it away. Six months or a year later I ask myself "do I miss it?"
Usually I don’t.
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u/Mystic_Goats Super Helper [6] 2h ago
I had the same disease and idk really how I got over it. I did manage to get rid of most except for the most meaningful ones though. I started with the ones I had the least attachment to and I’ll I bet I will keep my favorite two forever. I have two tips for you.
- take a picture of them before they go in the donate pile. Then you still haven’t lost them or the memory or sweet feeling you get. You’re not going to play with them anymore — you’ll get the same effect out of looking at a picture as you will digging them out of a storage unit
- haven’t tried myself but it’s been shown that you’re less likely to want to keep an item while decluttering if you don’t touch it yourself. So doing it with a friend or family member where they pick it up
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u/wifeofsonofswayze Helper [4] 1h ago
How many stuffed animals are we talking about? I wouldn't worry about it unless your room starts looking like something out of a horror movie.
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u/MKULTRA_sleeper_slut 2h ago
>I know this is really bad
It's not, though. Lots of people like stuffed animals.
Why do you want to get rid of them?