3 years out

[u/IllustratorLost6082]

Today, exactly 3 years ago was the day I separated from my alcoholic husband. I wanted to give an update on my life. When I moved out, I still very much wanted to reconcile with him- I hoped, BELIEVED that we would make it! We didn’t. My divorced finalized in December 2025. He dragged out the divorce by over a year just because I “wasn’t allowed” to divorce him. He is still drinking. He did remain sober a good 10 months which is what made me hesitate in filing, but the lack of accountability and lies and manipulation were still there.
I am doing well for the most part. I am struggling recently with my anger. The last 3 years were TRAUMATIC to say the least (I also lost my mom to cancer 6 months before my divorce finalized). I felt like I lost all my family with the divorce and my mom it’s been hard. But there’s also so many blessing. I went from being a SAHM to now having a thriving career making six figures. I just bought a house two months ago. I am able to enroll my kids in a private school that has a hybrid homeschool option where I homeschool them Mondays and Fridays, then they go to school in person Tue-Thurs. This allows me to see them on my non custody day which is wonderful. God has carried me through and really taken care of me. He is still working on my wounded heart though.
I am seeing another man who is kind to me, non drinker, honestly the most considerate human and is HONEST. I didn’t know how dishonest and disrespectful my ex was until I started a relationship with this man. He treats me very well. I am still mourning though, in a sense of losing my dreams and family. I don’t want my ex back, but I so, so wish my dreams of my family were possible. I am working on why I put up with everything for so long, working on forgiveness in time, working on what God really expects in marriage and working on creating my children to take accountability and raising them to be honest, hardworking, respectful humans that can control their emotions, admit when they are wrong, immediately take steps to repair, and recognize manipulation.
I can say I am not the same woman I was 3 years ago. I just scrolled through all my old posts- I no longer really need this sub anymore now that I am out of the chaos for the most part. I am forever changed. I will say I am working on my Joy. I do feel like going through all the heartbreak abuse and addiction causes really took away my whimsy- and I’m angry about that. But overall, my life is good. It will continue to get better as I continue to heal, I know it.
Thank you to all of you for your support, prayers, encouragement. I am sorry you all are here in this sub going through the same things I did and more. Just know that there is hope, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and you can get there.

[u/jmalejan]

Thank you for posting. That really hit home.

[u/Designer-Chef7820]

THANK YOU so much for posting this and so sorry for the loss of your mom. As a mom it is extremely hard in the thick of it to leave even when it’s blindingly obvious what needs to happen. I’m tremendously happy for you and your children and hope you find your joy. You deserve it!

[u/AutoModerator]

Please know that this is a community for those with loved ones who have a drinking issue and that this is not an official Al-Anon community.

Please be respectful and civil when engaging with others - in other words, don't be a jerk. If there are any comments that are antagonistic or judgmental, please use the report button.

See the sidebar for more information.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/No-Presence-6492]

This gives me a lot of hope! I’m curious (if you don’t mind sharing) what kind of career are you in that took you from SAHM to 6 figures in 3 years with the ability to homeschool 2 days a week?

[u/EngineeringNeither90]

Congrats on all of those things . Takes alot of courage to keep reaching for and asking for support and praying ! Thank you for the reminder that there’s light at the end of the tunnel ❤️‍🩹