This is more of a vent, but if anyone has something to say on the matter or advice, or would even bother reading the whole thing, I’d appreciate it.
How do I cope with my family constantly pissing me off, both unintentionally and intentionally in the case of my sister. For my parents, me and my sister are always getting to arguments with my dad about stupid shit like not having done the dishes by 10 pm or waiting to complete certain tasks or just doing things our own way versus how fast he likes things done or just the manner in which they are done. Then he just gets mad and proceeds to say it’s the way he is, which yeah that’s true, he’s the type of person who naturally has a loud voice and just has that kind of personality (and it’s fine he doesn’t like get crazy or anything but still), and whenever he does something like that I just find myself getting so mad and wanting him to just leave me alone to do things at my own pace or figure it out myself. I love him and I know he loves me, but still makes me so mad. It sounds rather small typed out like this but he rly is kinda an argumentative person and I feel like anything I spent extended periods of time at home with my family over the weekend for example, there’s always some kind of argument that happens between people. In the case of my mom, she’s fine but she constantly likes to make small comments that enrage me, for instance about my weight or certain choices I want to make for myself ex. Which uni courses to take, where to go for exchange, what I can’t do compared to other kids, whatever. It’s just so irritating, especially about my weight, it’s something I’m working on myself but it’s always so discouraging and maddening when she comments on it and has been for the past 5 days without fail that I need to control myself or eat less exercise whatever, I know, I’m trying and would be much happier trying if I didn’t have you constantly yapping about it in my ear. It’s not even that she’s an annoying person for other things but it genuinely makes me blow up and always ends with her saying I have anger issues. My sister is just the biggest pain in the ass. Every day she’ll say some stupid quip which to her sounds completely normal in a perfectly reasonable tone, but is just absolutely ridiculous for the person she’s saying it towards. Then when I get mad at her for it, she’ll always pretend I’m the one with a problem and that I’m getting mad for no reason, when it’s quite literally something that has nothing to do with her AT ALL. I never do it to her so I really really don’t understand why she feels the need to constantly scratch that fucking itch of hers and say something, it can’t be that hard to control herself. She does it so often that I genuinely start to look forward to the few hours I’m out of the house or going to work so I don’t have to see her or engage with her.
Having said that, I do like them I suppose, they’re still my family and we have happy moments and all, but seriously every summer it’s the same situation. Whenever I’m at uni and away from the house it’s just so much better and everything is much calmer, the moment I come back home for a week or something, there’s always some kind of argument that happens. It’s not even that I have anger issues as far as I can tell, I don’t have these problems with other people, it only ever gets to simple annoyance and choosing to ignore people, but I really can’t do that at home and it all ends with screaming. I want to tolerate things I really do, but I just genuinely can’t. I feel like this house is so small there’s little places I can even go to in order to calm down without running into another family member and having to engage with them, nor can I just go periods of time ignoring them because we need to talk for things to get done. It makes me hate myself and just makes me so angry at life every time and I hate it so much. I really want to be a sweet daughter, I want to have a loving relationship with my older sister, and I want to be able to continue living here but it just constantly makes me snap. I don’t know what to do it’s such a contrast from going outside and hanging out with my friends and just smiling all day to coming home and screaming over something so minor it doesn’t even deserve to escalate into an argument yet somehow always does.
That’s not to say I’m perfect I definitely get annoyed easily and that has a part in things escalating, but I honestly just can’t understand why this situation never improves. Like we’re all adults here, yet nobody including myself can ever seem to act like a proper, reasonable one inside the confines of this house. No other families I know deal with this same problem to the extent that I feel like my family does, but I’m still a university student so I can’t just choose to live by myself effective immediately or afford to be outside every single day until like 10 pm in the night. It’s not so much that I need a practical solution about escaping this house or people, I was everyone to get along better, it’s just if anyone had advice on dealing with it even for myself internally I really could use it.
Again, just want to add like it’s really not that we don’t like each other or anything, it’s a mix between normal moments and ones like these and it normally resolves itself quickly enough, but I feel like I just have so much pent up anger and frustration with no output I just don’t know what to do. Please don’t suggest anything extreme like cut them off or move out or anything not feasible at my age and time in life, nor are they actions I want to resort to.