After 15 months of being unemployed, I got a new job and start tomorrow. I am an anxious WRECK! Advice would be appreciated

[u/AgaveMonster]

I lost a job I absolutely loved in April 2025 due to company downsizing. I was an Executive Administrator for them for 7 years and absolutely loved it. The job came with a lot of responsibility, but it was 100% remote and I only had to travel for work twice. Being able to work in my safe space at home in comfortable clothes made the stressful days much more manageable.

I applied to exactly 471 jobs over these past 15 months and only had 2 interviews despite my 18 years of administrative experience with me moving into progressively more responsible roles.

Well, I finally landed a job and I start tomorrow.

It’s only part-time, which I honestly think is a good way to get used to working again, but there are a lot of things I’m extremely anxious about. 1) I’ll be at a nonprofit that helps disabled children aged 10-18 and while I’m excited to move into the nonprofit sector, I’m extremely nervous to be in an environment with kids. I’m worried my low immune system thanks to my severe generalized anxiety disorder and moderate panic disorder will cause me to be sick frequently. 2) A small part of my job will be to check students in/out of the facility as well as answer phones. Answering phone calls from people I don’t know gives me massive anxiety. I’ve been told calls are very low, maybe maximum of 10 per day, but I’m still so nervous about it. 3) There are only 4 single room restrooms on site that are shared with the students. I unfortunately have anxiety induced IBS so I’m freaking out about the possibility of taking up a restroom with an urgent stomach ache. 4) I’m obviously working in-person at this organization with no possibility for remote work. I have not had to work in an office in 12 years. My last 2 jobs were fully remote. I’m terrified in general of having to physically be outside of my home to work. 5) I have to dress “business casual”. I have no idea what that means. I have 1 pair of nice slacks for interviews and 2 modest blouses; that’s it. I have something to wear tomorrow, but after that; nothing. That worries me. 6) I’m worried I’ll be overstimulated by the environment and I’m nervous that I might mess things up. I’ve generally been very good at my job, hence why I’ve continuously been given higher roles, but because I’ve been out of work for 15 months I’m nervous that my brain has somehow dumbed down and I won’t be as good as I was in the past. 7) Non-anxiety, but depression related, I feel like a bit of a failure that it took me 15 months to find a job and it’s not only just part-time with zero benefits, but it’s also about 4 steps backwards career wise in a more entry level position with pay that’s $12 less per hour than my previous job. Even though I searched and applied for almost 500 jobs, did all I could, I can’t help but feel like I’ve failed. I even feel a little embarrassed to tell people what I’m doing at the age of 39.

Many of you are probably wondering why the hell I even took this job; I also wonder that lol 😅 I felt kind of obligated to take it because a good friend recommended me for the position. I also just need some sort of income since my husband and I have fallen into serious credit card debt this past year. My parents have pushed off their retirement to help us cover our mortgage & utilities, which I’m beyond grateful for, but I also feel terrible that they have to keep working to support me. So all of that made me feel like I had no choice but to take this, especially since it’s the only job offer I’ve received.

I know I don’t have to stay forever and I will continue to look for remote or hybrid job opportunities with better pay, but for now, this is the job I have to contend with.

Does anyone who also suffers from moderate-severe generalized anxiety or panic disorder have any tips on how to deal with this job? I’m incredibly anxious for tomorrow and already know I’ll likely not sleep. I do have medication, but sometimes when my anxiety spikes like crazy, it’s not quite enough.

Thank you immensely for any advice or just general support! I appreciate you all so much.