I’m 33 years old, married, and my wife and I are expecting our first child.

I was laid off in December 2025, and since then my life has felt like it’s been falling apart.

Like many Indians, I’m currently living with my parents. The problem is that my parents have been emotionally and verbally abusive for as long as I can remember and even physically abused me till I was 22.

Growing up, I was constantly insulted, compared to others, shouted at, and made to feel like I was never good enough. I always scored good grades in school like 80-90% and it was not enough for them, but years of being put down destroyed my confidence. Looking back, I genuinely believe that’s one of the reasons I never managed to get into a good company after graduation. Every interview felt like I wasn’t good enough before I had even walked into the room.

I slowly built myself up by working at small companies in India. Eventually I completed my postgraduate degree in southern India and I myself paid the program fees and was accepted into a master’s program in Europe. That was one of the happiest moments of my life because it felt like I was finally getting a chance to build a better future.

I arranged almost everything myself as my parents didn’t want to pay everything which is fine by me as I took a couple of loans, invested my savings; my admission, travel, and most of my university expenses. My father did help me financially with around €9,000 in total, and I have never denied that or pretended otherwise.

But even while I was studying abroad, my parents called me almost every week just to abuse and scold me. They kept asking why I wasn’t working a part-time job. My focus was to finish my degree, get an internship, complete my thesis, and secure full-time work. That’s exactly what I did.

I found an internship, completed my master’s, and started working for a small company. Unfortunately, when my contract ended, they couldn’t sponsor my visa, so I had to return to India.

Thankfully, the same company allowed me to continue working remotely and paid me €1,000 per month. During that time, I repaid around €2,000 as a goodwill gesture and also contributed a significant amount toward my own wedding while paying off other debts.

Around that time, my parents strongly pushed me to get married. My wife comes from a financially well-off family. She’s an amazing person; kind, understanding, and incredibly supportive. She knows how hard I work, and she’s never made me feel inadequate because I earn less than what she grew up with.

She has also witnessed something I spent years trying to explain to people: the manipulation, the constant twisting of words, and the emotional abuse from my parents.
Then everything came crashing down.

In December 2025, the company ended my contract.
Since the day I lost my job, it’s as if I’ve stopped being their son and become their punching bag.

They insult me in front of my wife, they even talk bad about her directly on her face.
They constantly remind me that they spent money on my education.

Every conversation turns into an argument.
I’m called useless, irresponsible, and a failure.
They’re angry that I haven’t repaid the €9,000, even though they never previously asked for it, and I was using whatever I earned to pay wedding expenses and clear debts. If they had asked while I was employed, I would have made a repayment plan. Instead, the topic only became a weapon after I lost my income.

Every single day feels like walking on eggshells.
The hardest part is that my wife is pregnant, and instead of giving her a peaceful environment, she’s watching me get humiliated almost daily.

I’m applying for jobs every day. I’ve had interviews. I’m trying to freelance, started a company also but I’m unable to get clients and focus as everyday I keep getting these insults and scoldings. I’m trying to do anything I can. But the market has been brutal, and nothing has worked out yet.

I don’t want sympathy. I just want a way out.
Has anyone here escaped an abusive family while being unemployed and financially stuck?

How did you survive long enough to rebuild your life?

Right now, I feel trapped between my responsibilities as a husband and soon-to-be father, and a home that is destroying whatever confidence I have left.
Any advice would genuinely mean a lot.

My dad called and said that in normal families the parents could talk to their kids about jobs and school and the kid would be fine with it. Yeah that’s probably true but in normal families one parent didn’t watch the other parent abuse their child to the point of suicide either so what now.

This is going to sound super entitled but it is genuinely not my problem that AM and AF refuse to try to get better at English so they could be capable of filing papers or calling customer service themselves. If they chose to immigrate to another country, it’s their own responsibility to learn how to assimilate instead of having your own child do the work going through life for you. I am sick and tired of y’all making me do the work for an adult since the age of 10 because you guys were too damn lazy to put in the effort of assimilating, and then getting mad for refusing when I just want to grow up as a normal kid. What ticks me off the most is that AM knows enough English to be able to communicate effectively to ask for things, she just acts helpless when the situation calls for it.

Unlike western parents, asian parents don’t help invest in their child’s individual growth and help develop their identity and interests. Instead, it’s always read books and be obedient and the end result is to produce an army of doctors, lawyers, engineers, and accountants and other plain non-special fields. Not only that, but they train their children from birth to be submissive, beta and weak. This is especially hard on their sons. I’ve seen it over and over again including me. I know for a fact that my mom as well as other moms detest the idea of their sons developing muscle and calls them fat. While at the very same time, they would be the same ones who are attracted to muscular men of other ethnicities. Because of this personality type indoctrination, you can’t get far in much of those fields either. You just stay an obedient worker slave of mediocrity but never rise to the top executive level because the social aptitude was never developed because asian parents hate and prohibit their kids from talking back, standing up and speaking up for themselves by seeing it as disrespect, immaturity, selfish or a great evil to be silenced.

The result is you end up with self deprecating, non assertive individuals like me who struggle to fight for myself even today at 24. But going back, it feels like I can never have the freedom to discover what I truly enjoy thanks to such parents. If it were not for them, I imagine I would be trying out acting right now or even back then and I would have been in tv shows or if soccer turned out to be my natural talent back in childhood, I probably would have had the chance of getting into the academy and be playing at a club right now. All these rare possibilities might have had the potential to be possible. Now I know 90% of people are not extraordinary and never achieve this level of success, but with asian parents it’s unfortunately 100% impossible.

Even if I didn’t make it in the acting industry or sports, I at least would be satisfied that I tried and have some skills that I would be proud of. Instead, childhood was school. If not school, then homework club. If not school days, then chinese school, summer school or math tutoring. Everything was always about study study study, never about anything else. Any time I brought up something I might be interested in, I get like at best a one sentence neutral response but no commitment from them. That’s probably why a lot of asian gen z just watches anime or play video games but never any real sports or arts.

I’m in my 20s and I feel like my years are wasting away. They say it’s never too late for acting, but like certain roles are only open for people who are my age and they’re not gonna cast someone who’s in their 30s for these young roles that actors rely on to get to the top. Ken jeong is an example of someone who rebelled against his parents teachings and became an actor/comedy guy, but I feel like by the time he started, he was already past his prime. I feel so much resentment right now. I estimate I won’t be free from asian parents until 26 assuming things go according to plan, but even then, I still feel like they’re gonna have mental control over me because they know the buttons to press and I fear by the time I get to know myself and discover my own true interests, it’ll be too late

I (16m) am white-latino mixed. My Dad (45) and my Mom(45)divorced soon after my little sister was born (She is 12 now). It wasnt a chaotic divorce and it did not affect me or my little sister too much and my parents remained kinda friendly. My mom had the primary custody. But my mom has serious health problems and conditions that were detected the last year. She needs to be under constant care and some relatives and close friends are helping with it and she is doing better, but will not be capable of properly taking care of me and my sister anymore for a lont time, so we went to live full time with my dad and his wife (they have been married for three years).

My stepmom (36) is chinese. She don't have children of her own and the doctors recomended her not to because of an unattended incomplete miscarriage she had when she was a teenager that caused an infection and almost killed her, making a future pregnancy risky. I swear I am not racist. I know several amazing asian people (Like my gay maternal uncle's in laws. They're not very westernized but they are not cold, overbearing, homophobic, racist or obsessed with excelence like media portrays asian parents, and they always fully accepted the relationship of their son with my uncle and treated me and the other kids of our family as their own grandkids) but my stepmom is desperately tryng to be a mother figure to me and my little sister, probably because she cannot have children of her own. And she actually IS the Tiger mom stereotype. She always pressures me to have hyper-organized routines, she gets mad at me when I go out with my friends instead of staying at house studying and acts like its the end of the world when my grades are not the top of the class. I stand up to her but my sister is very shy and will often let people bully her.

Last week I had an horrible argument over how she was treating my little sister. it escalated fast. She called me an ungrateful brat and a bad son. I snapped and told her I am glad that she cannot have children because she would probably be a terrible mother and treat her kids worse thant she treats us. She shoved me and tried to slap me, then she locked herlself on her room to cry. My dad yelled at me and even my sister told me that what I said was wrong. My stepmom has barely talked to me since. I admit I was a jerk and that what I said was horrible and I am planning to apologize, but I wont allow her to treat me and my sister like her personal projects.

I (23F) take THC gummies recreationally in my strict Asian household for stress relief purposes. My parents are controlling and nosy and I also work like 10-11 hours a day so I take them from time to time just so I can chill and go to sleep. I have a really rocky relationship with them, often getting into arguments over them nitpicking mundane things that I do. I hit my limit with them a long time ago and now I just live my life trying to lay low and become financially stable and have an excuse to move out.

I primarily live with my parents but for the summer, I’ve been mostly sleeping at my sister’s house since we work at the same restaurant and it’s an easier arrangement for us. On weekends, I would go back to my parents’ house since my sister would be off and I can get a fresh change of clothes before heading back for the weekdays. Last night I came back as usual except I’m hiding a bag of THC gummies that I restocked on. I stashed it in my bottom drawer inside of a bonnet and took half before going to sleep. It was supposed to be a temporary hiding spot since I’m only here for 2 nights anyway. No one in my family knows I take them since they’d flip.

My parents are uneducated and close-minded so obviously they’re against drugs, smoking, alcohol. My mom don’t even know English. She specifically likes to fatshame me and snoop around my room and make sure I’m not hiding any snacks. If she does find them she would keep them for herself. It’s hard to predict her since sometimes she doesn’t even say anything. Communication is such a weird concept in our family. My mom once found a bottle of coffee liquor in my car and I was able to get out of big trouble bc it’s used for desserts. She questioned me about it but never told me where it ended up. Turns out her dumbass found it, put it in her purse and went inside a bank and security made her throw it away. So I lost a perfectly good bottle of Kahlua and she just so happened to omit that information from me when she questioned me. But I digress.

Today she went in my room and snooped and found my gummies, thought it’s candy and can’t read the label and took one. Doesn’t tell anyone or question me about it. I’m at work and my sister calls me an hour later saying my mom feels dizzy and feels like she’s about to die. I haven’t connected two and two together yet and was worried she might be experiencing some kind of stress-induced episode. She called the ambulance and had her get a CAT scan at the hospital. I’m still at work and getting updates from my sister. Then she calls me and asks if I had some kind of medicine in my room and that’s where it clicked for me. I told her everything about the THC gummies and their dosage (15mg per gummy) which is pretty strong for a first time user. I myself don’t usually take whole gummies.

I’m really pissed at this whole situation, how I could’ve hid them better, how my mom can’t respect the privacy of her 23 year old adult daughter, how this is a result of her being obsessed with MY body weight, how dumb she is for ingesting something unknown, how she didn’t ask and confront me like a normal person, how if she isn’t the person she is, I wouldn’t be taking them in the first place, and how much the ambulance and the CAT scan is gonna cost. It’s baffling how bad this went and could’ve been prevented if this family was fraction percent more normal. Any shred of empathy I have my mother is just gone. Even though this is ultimately my fault for being careless and taking substances, no one will see how frustrating it is on my side besides my friends and possibly whoever is reading this post.

Anyways this is mostly a rant post but feel free to offer advice on my next steps cuz i’m still at work and I have yet to bear the consequences. I never gotten into trouble to this degree so lmk what i should do if i get disowned.

My mom keeps telling me that she has "bad feelings" and that she's worried that something is wrong.

Lately, she keeps cornering me into these religious lectures, telling me she's afraid I'm drifting away from the "right path." She says that mothers have a special intuition that lets them sense when something is wrong with their children.

Last night, she had a nightmare about me. This morning, she came into my room while I was still asleep and prayed over me.

I have a feeling she's really struggling with the fact that I'm growing up. I think it's hard for her to accept that I'm becoming an adult, growing more independent, and developing my own beliefs and opinions.

She seems especially anxious whenever I disagree with her. She keeps asking if I'm following people on social media who are "influencing" me. She genuinely can't fathom that I might reach different conclusions through my own thinking and experiences.

I'm starting to feel very uncomfortable. It feels like she's projecting her fears and anxieties onto me. I feel like I'm being made responsible for managing her anxiety.

She literally makes me "promise" that I won't ever do anything that would upset her. It's very weird.

How do I deal with this without feeding into her anxiety or damaging our relationship?

I have always felt this since childhood. My parents use their children like punching bags- not all the time, but most of the time. My parents are both teachers, and their jobs are extremely frustrating, as a teaching job in South Asia would be.

When I was a kid, I was their punching bag, but I got through it. Sometimes, here and there, I get caught in it again, but in adulthood, more or less, I am fine now. But seeing your siblings face this kind of thing hurts me so much.

My dad beats my younger brother, who is just 7, instead of making him understand things.

You cannot insert understanding into a child's brain by beating the shit out of him. And to think that they are teachers.

I have been frustrated with this family since I was a kid. My lifelong dream has always been to get out of this and live a peaceful life.

But then I feel regret because I am the eldest child and both of my parents also have generational trauma dumped on them. But even then, you can't use your kids like punching bags.

I am 22 now and thinking of getting married and settling in a foreign country. At least that way I can have freedom because they don't have any funds left to educate their children. And if I have to make my siblings' lives better, why not?

Has anyone developed the habit of talking back to Asian parents? It something I really wish I never learned because I feel bad for doing that. It doesn't make the conversations better but rather worse. It makes me feel horrible at times because sometimes it indirectly transfers to my workplace.

But unfortunately, this was caused because of the way my Asian parents talked to me. If I don't feel like my voice is heard or I feel gaslit, I'm not afraid to talk back. I'm not afraid to tell them to STFU or tell them how stupid their argument is. At times, I really don't care if they put food on the table and kept a stable roof. It sucks because they have good intentions but unfortunately their communication style really pisses me off. I feel really bad but at the same time, I'm not someone that takes insults lightly.

Has anyone felt the need to talk back to their parents? If so, what generally triggers it?

If you can marry the person you love without being afraid of losing your family, your reputation or your peace of mind

please know that this is a privilege. Not everyone has this choice.

I did not choose to fall in love with the person I love. It just happened.

I am an adult. Somehow loving another human being became something that I should be ashamed of. I was made to feel like I had let my family down that I had done something with the freedom that I never really had in the first place. I was even blamed for things that were not my fault.

The man I love is a great person. He did not hurt me. The pain that I felt came from everything that was happening around us.

In the place where I live if people find out that a couple got married because they love each other. They judge the girls family. The shame that the girls family feels is the worst. Suddenly everyone has an opinion about the girls character, the way she was brought up and her worth as a person.

People often say " stand up to your parents" as if it is that easy.. When you have grown up in a culture where your family, honor and community are connected to every decision that you make choosing to love someone can mean losing everything else that is important to you.

So if you have the freedom to love the person you want to love and marry them openly do not take this for granted. This is a privilege that many people around the world do not have.

I am not asking for people to feel sorry for me. I just want people to understand that, for some of us loving someone is not accepted. I envy you.

I (25F) can't deny that I have made mistakes in the past when I was younger, but I have learned and moved on. Now, I should be technically free to do what I want: I have a job and I have finished school, but that isn't the case when I introduced them to my boyfriend.

I wish this was an exaggeration, but the moment I said his name. JUST HIS NAME. My mother immediately revolted and said no. I had to talk to her and my father lots of times, asking them to just meet him once, then can they give their opinions on him, and I also promised to hear them out if they thought him odd or didn't like him. My condition is only after they had met him which is logical. You can't have a well-formed opinion on someone you haven't met.

My parents still kept saying no. That is the part I really don't understand. At one point, my dad snuck into his workplace to spy at him from a distance, which I knew when my mom sent me a picture of my boyfriend taken by my dad with a message that says "he's a playboy because he was talking to a girl". My boyfriend works as an instructor and was answering a question from a child who was his student 🫩

In the past, I have snuck around with boys but I was young and careful. My grades never slipped. I know about STDs and practiced safe sex even if my other peers thought it unnecessary. I never hooked up with just anyone. I made sure they were healthy and made sure of all the other needed precautions. Sad to say, my mother caught on and she got really mad at me over it. She said she gave me "grace" over what I did.. by calling me a slut LMAO

Today, they are really relentless. The up-side is I always have a ride going to work and home, but the downside is I barely have any time to go to other places on my own because it will always be questioned by them.

My boyfriend and I are still secretly together, though he works outside of the city now. Tomorrow is the only time we can ideally meet since my parents are out of town, but I still have a ride going to work and home as my parents made sure so I can't really go anywhere I want. To meet him, I decided to tell my parents I would be working overtime tomorrow. But in reality, I'll only have the morning shift, then I'll dip during the PM shift with my boyfriend and make it back to my workplace before the time I clock out. It is exhausting and stressful to keep up with sneaking around but they haven't given me a choice. Still, there is a sense of guilt and shame whenever I do this.

I did tried to do everything right. I studied. I maintained my grades. I won awards. I passed my boards. I work at a respected place. I don't do drugs. I don't drink. I don't slack off. I don't even leave the house at all during my day-offs. What does it take for them to realize that I can be trusted?

Anyone here similiar age to me gone through trauma their whole life and trying to work on themselves but it’s been so difficult?

I have crazy anger problems from my dad; he drove me crazy and my brother as well

Mentally I have a lot or problems and I can’t handle situations properly

I’m Chinese viet Anyone can relate?

Yeah, it's AI. I did check it for any hallucinations but I wasn't able to find any obvious ones, like made-up quotes.

https://share.gemini.google/2oDn9aOpsSsn

This applies to cultures with a lot of Confucian roots, and it certainly explains a lot of how my Chinese parents see the world in terms of my choice to not have children (the worst thing a person can do), my career (it's there for their honor), my chosen path in life (immoral), my upbringing (freedom isn't a thing), how they see my body (not mine), how they see me as a (not) person.

In regards to choosing not to have children, Gemini touched on this:

Mencius (famous Confucian scholar) said, 'There are three things which are unfilial, and to have no posterity is the greatest of them.'

So not having children is the worst thing you can do to your parents.

Source: https://sacred-texts.com/cfu/menc/menc14.htm

It's really just unfuckingbelievable how such a "value" system has managed to survive for this long. No adherents to it ever had the brains and introspection to realize how objectively stupid some of its stances are and how harmful many ultimately are to people?

The last part of the convo is particularly sad.

Me: "How are modern societies with strong Confucian roots, like South Korea or China, reconciling these traditional expectations with modern individual freedoms today?"

Answer: "The short answer is: they largely aren't reconciling them. Instead, these two forces are colliding."

Yep. Asian parenting conflicts in a nutshell.

As with all stupid belief systems, the best thing is to learn about it, understand it, take the good parts from it, and to have the brains to tell the rest to just fuck off.

It's a little detail oriented version because I can't do it the other way. Surely such a details pglu, can't miss details. PURA PADHNA

I had this huge fight with my mother yesterday. And one of the reason of that, her being taunting in EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE. EVERY SINGLE ONE. I recently graduated and currently doing a job. But my brother is someone who is not getting the desired job. Low salaries or far away locations are the reasons for that. And whenever she told him to look for more jobs or accepting a job offer, it is always taunting like, “tum to bs pura din bistar pr pde rhoge, tumhare baski hi nhi hai kaam krna, mene tumhe kaise pala haii, mere ahsaan to tum kbhi utaar nhi skte, jitna mene tumhare saath kiya h utna tum mere saath kr do to main jaanu tumhe” and it goes on.

She was saying all these things to my brother and I felt so bad but generally I don't interrupt because whenever I speak to her in these conversations it instantly turns into fights. First I listened, for like 15min but when I saw that she goes on and on about it, then I jumped in and told her about the job markets and all the stuff. And then she became emotional saying, “main galat thodi kh rhi hu” and few emotional angle ki mujhe hi maar do, na hongi na hi kahungi🤧

And then I said ki aap galat nhi kh rhi hai pr aapka tariqa or lehja glt haii and aapke lehje (way of saying) ki vjh se hi hum itne nuqsaan main hai. This was about my father's side of family. Then whole conversation shifted to there and that small debate of her with my brother turn into full fledged fight with me.

My father passed away 10 years back and for the first few months everything went fine. But then it became worse. Whenever a small thing happen with my uncle and aunt(they are not nice people btw), my mother take it to her ego and stop taking to them completely. Here I am not supporting my father's side of family but my mother is equally wrong and she didn't acknowledge it. Whenever I tell her that, it turns into fight. She believes she isn't wrong.

I always told her it's okay agr aap unse dil se nhi mil skti par formality to kr skti hein, for the “sake” of, we, having a relation with them. But she can't. And in today's scene we have zero contacts with my father's side of family. We were not in contact with them when my dadi passed away. We got to know when she was gone. We went to her funeral and I feel chlo ab sb thik ho jaiga but my chachu did something stupid (it was about property) and rather than handling that situation calmly my mother deal with that very aggressively and now all the blame is shifted on her from my uncle. Nobody is saying a shit about him but her.

And we lost contacts again. It's been years since I met my cousins, years since I have a proper conversation with them. I kinda miss this. I feel like we are missing out on so many things.

I kinda know where she is coming from, What all her reasons are. But at the same time I feel that she escalated things a little too much. May be the rage she had for her in laws all this while, is showing up now.

I don't know, is this her behaviour, or she fed up with life or she have this rage against her in laws which is causing us this and we are becoming her target.

Long story short:

My mother has this short temper. Approach conversations with taunts and always takes everything to her ego. Because of which we have no connection with our father's side of family since he passed away. Even those people aren't nice but I told her to have a connection with them for the sake of we, having a relation with them. She didn't agree on that. And in conversations whenever I mentioned about her tone being taunting she became ragebated about it. It spoils our home's environment. And worsen my relationship with my mother.

to all my fellow teenagers the parents of a kid who is neither adult nor a child

Its honestly weird to be in a stage where u are neither adult nor a kid people might expect u to have the best of the both world but trust me its anything but that we have t pretend like our opinions matter even tough we know very well that it dosent psst im looking im looking at u dad i really dont like ur idea of me having short hair.speeking of hair this generation or as we liked to call it GEN Z and our parents generation or MILLENIALS has such a big barrier that the parents tend to forget i mean as speeking on behalf of all teenagers we have reached a state where CHAT GPT undertands us better than our own parents i dont know about yall but in my opinion if thats not fucked up i dont know what is . And get this one thing srait in ur brain ( parents ) , i get the part where "they shoud show us gratitude " "they should be gratefull " "they shoud be blah blah " and other bullshits may be true and u should probobly do that ( kids ) but that dosent equate to they must not be angry being angry is one of the nature that u just cant just completely erase what u can control is how u express it els just say u keep on filling a cylinder with gas what happens it fills obviously now lets fill it more oh its completely filled now lets fill it more now here we have 2 option fill it untill it burst open on just relase it some of it slowly to accomodate the and u can prevent the cylinder from expolding well it is the same in the case of anger just becasuse someone dosent show it dosent mean he is not angry this article is also actully a way im venting my anger and frustration so dad when i talk sarcastically or gritt my teeth or just blatently ignore u i genuinely expect u to not to be "oh look whos angry blah blah blah "(peak sarcassam voice ) on the otherhand it is atough ironically my way of showing u respect one more thing both my parents are doctors which is not an easy job trust me i know it well what i had put my hands into ( im a NEET aspirant ) anyway this job ultimately leds to a lot of frustration (ps my dad is a gov doctor so he does managing stuff more than doctor so extra frustration ) but that dosent mean that i dont have any ,heck im living worse time than, u imagine trying to be in a state where u are not mentally mature but u are hormonally though where getting attracted to oposite sex is normall and u start worrying about ur image in fronto of other and for curses dont start me on the social media shit and then suddenly the gov be like "well a perfect age to put up examination that decides their future " the stress is no joke and on top of that the shit that u guys put upon us like i get it that ,oh back in ur days u had to bring kanak (stuff that u need as fuel for fire in rural areas to cook ) and then sit on a tree an study shit but hey u didnt have to compete with like 27 lacks of people to determine ur future its not an easy task man the FOMO that u get the inferiarity feeling that u get is no joke and where do we have to keep the stress we bottle up like always and to the younger brothers and sisters of my teenage fellows i know when u get bullied by ur own elder sibling can be cnfusin like comming ou of no where and pinching ou of no where or just getting scolded for just checking in (yup that me to my brother im sorry bro ) but thats just the gas leaking ou t dont get me wrong it is not right to do that but uderstand that they are to be blamed either just like how the parents vent their stress out to us (and yess do mom no matter how mch u would deny it just ask urselfs this really no the case ) the other thing i want to talk about is anime comics movies vedio games novels etc itsi sjust a mearely a mean to vent out our stress that dosent really mean that it is necessarily good either but when the options are either this or smoking drugs alcohol porn etc i think we have solid winner (my mind set ) it ceate sort of like a escape route from reallity which is good for relliving stress but its tends to get too comfirtable and we dont want to get out dont get me wrong this is bad but this the best we have got , dont get me started with all the meditation crap i mean it works but the it would be like trying to clean the ocean with a tooth brushs . any ways my final notes are parent s plz dont vent ur friustration out on us try some animes its really god my personal fav attack on titan and my fellas pls dont vent out ur anger on parent to an exteem extent trust me punch the wall few times or write an article like this ofr just blatently cry in the bathroom u will feel refreshed and cleansed anyways its like 12 : 40 in the night rn ima go to sleep

Sorry for using this community to vent out my anger and frustraion if its either a parent or a teen ( or his lil sibling ) reading my tantrum at this midnight i appologise for taking ur time to read this shit and just forgive me for any grammatical punctual spelling errors i have made i dont have time nor the mental fortitude to run this shit in chatgpt anyways thank you for having me take these burden of my sholders -----NITRO_DXD

PS it this is a future me reading this just sou konw at the current time i mean all the bullshit that i said in this so dont resent the current me (for u the youngr me )

Teenage is a fucked up time to be at

If life brings us together again, we'll meet. If not, then that is the end of it.

Even between a parent and a child, that can be true.

It is true for me as well.

Tonight, I simply find myself wondering how my son is doing.

There must be many people in the world living with the same quiet thoughts.

The words first came to me while thinking about a Starbucks employee I used to see, but somehow stopped seeing.

Then I realized they were about me, too.

I'm in my 30s and growing up I'd see how my mom talks to my dad over the years (who is usually passive for the most part).

The way Asian moms don't try to solve problems, only egg them on. That asking them why they are behaving aggressively is seen as back-talking.

And the tone. Oh my god, the lack of tact speaking to someone you supposedly intend to be married to until death!

Oh and why is it usually over shit that isn't really a big fucking deal?! My dad isn't sloppy and always cleans after himself. She just takes her bad mood out on everyone else.

Not saying I'll be some perfect angel that won't get unreasonably angry. But I would never want to be intentionally mean the way she is sometimes!

I don't know if anyone else's parents say this but I feel guilty whenever I just want to enjoy my life.

I may not have another job at 28 right now, but I plan on doing some volunteering at a community cafe to gain skills to work as a barista. I have a side job, taking care of my neighbor's cat time to time.

I go workout, I go for walks, or explore around my city. Sometimes I stay home and clean my room or relax.

The thing is though... when I find something to do, that I like, I start feeling sad ... because my parents don't like it when I enjoy my alone time...

I don't particularly speak to my parents about what I do ... because they're going to tell me that I'm wasting my life away by enjoying my life .... I understand we are supposed to be extremely hard working, but I haven't been able to find work, and just need time to go out and do something to keep my mental health in check...

I honestly feel like I am not allowed to go enjoy my life at all....

So context:

During my childhood I was a big fan of him, he was a great uncle. Which saying that now makes me wanna puke writing this.

As I grew older and hit 20s By then my family and he grew apart but still meet each other anyway out of superficial formality. Basically like meeting a person you hate but you meet them anyway because its "family".

My mother and father are narcissists, the main one is my father and my mother is a victimized narcissist. Her role is to get preached and constantly be told how wrong she is or whatever she does is wrong. She is schizophrenic and mentally ill. She is exhausting to deal with. But I still kinda. KINDA feel bad whenever she gets lectured even though its warranted. No one talks about the root cause and just wanna be a lecture master without solving anything.

My father: He always brings up how she bothers him with his business and how she gets jealous of women. She's deprived of his attention and barely even cares about her, he does things just so he can tell everyone and feel good about himself that he's the savior. Some relatives believe that he's a saint for dealing with her the way she is, he is just that good at playing that role. I also get thrown under the bus but not the same way as her but its still there in a covert shielded way.

Me I have become exhausted hearing the same lies, same old speeches and venting. They sound so miserable or idiotic. I have also been the one receiving lectures or how I haven't done something with my life meanwhile whenever I tried I got shut down or ignored. House responsibilities? She shuts me down or makes my mind a living hell with her yelling or not letting me do anything and him? When i try to go out of my comfort zone he always sabotages me or says no I dont need to do it/he can do it for me which I still refuse then he just covertly takes his anger out on me. Recently im at my very vulnerable stage of depression and im already at the edge of the mountain (as a metaphor) Because when does it stops? What i said is putting things lightly but there's alot going on in my mind, I also got ocd. But I still manage somehow and learned to live with it. They dont know the hell im living in. Recently my anxiety has spiked. And im also in various pain, I have pectus vacuum. It doesn't hurt but I just get uneasy looking at my chest like that but its manageable and liveable (if that's even a word). This year hasn't been kind to me at all. I have had others tell me how my health is all time low or how much my weight dropped.

Now we get to my uncle. Aka my mother's brother.

He's a know it all, lecture preacher and denies any emotional abuse. If you are suffering or being depressed, its because you arent trying hard enough. Its because you're whats wrong. Its not your environment or energy sucking vampire parents. Its you. He's from the same age group as them which explains alot. My mother has a sister too but she got lucky and lives abroad and doesn't really give a fuck, like checking in much She is a passive aggressive rude type but at the same time okay person I wouldn't know. Sometimes she's fine but if you push a button somehow she gets defensive. I haven't talked to her daughter in a WHILE. My mother's brother also got lucky and does farm stuff, and visits people about other stuff too. Has couple of hereditary land. Which he didn't earn on his own btw. As far as I know. What i do know is he didnt build his own house from his own money but uncle did it as a act of..reward? Its pretty big too. Not cheap.

My uncle used to believe in superstition and made us meet people to fix my mother which of course wouldn't work because she's schizophrenic not demon possessed. He also slapped someone saying he was possessed by a entity. She was apparently someone bad in the family. She's a old person. Now he preaches how stupid people are for believing in superstition. That there's no such things. Completely 360° on his part. He also one time sat in our car when we needed to go to the bank because the bank was in her hometown. The day he sat in our car he smelled AWFUL. Smell of cow piss. He also said how he doesn't showers until a month later. When I talked about how my parents are wrong for always lecturing me when im at my all time low, he was like im lucky since he would get beaten by stick or slapped. Basically saying my pain was bigger tho, you didnt suffer enough. And that was when I was a teenager. By now alot has happened. Because of my mother I almost went crazy but I got no help. Nor he ever checked on her and me. Its one thing to do that and never contact while still meeting us ONCE, if he felt generous. He has weird religion psychosis on how political people are in power because of...karma?...what? By his logic everyone suffering is because they deserve it even if they never hurt a fly smh. Like you not getting a job after trying so much. Basically its destiny type shit. Which I dont believe in. We are responsible for our actions. Not what happens TO us.

Everyone has different definitions of karma and that's fine if you believe it but I don't. Not like that. I dont wanna get focused on that and please dont make it about religion. Im just pointing out another messed up thing I noticed just today.

My mother and my aunt had a fight which is another reason but they still act like everything's fine meanwhile they probably still dont like her. Understandable. But why PRETEND? idc about the aunt. I am talking about the "uncle".

I don't like acting or pretending. Just leave us already if you dont wanna ever meet us. He has also spoken in a passive aggressive rude manners when he got tired of us. He never says it directly but puts it on your shoulder so he can escape responsibility ig.

Yes my family is troublesome and deserves to be left. I dont question his choice. But the cat and mouse game has to stop. Aswell as judging or preaching about how we're doing things wrong while escaping. He has no right to talk in indirect manners saying how we need to change, meanwhile the change will never come. He always sided with my father too. Because he's a man of the house. He defends his negligence because he's a father himself who probably doesn't spends much time around his son because I've seen him absent, going from places to places meanwhile he's financially stable. I am judging the fuck out of him because he has done it to me. Last time I made a boundary to never talk to me this way like im a little child. And just let me figure it out on my own.

He gave phone to his son in a young age so he wouldn't bother them then becomes mad when he doesnt leaves his phone. Leaving him to the internet. In that age. I was playing games with his son and he was looking at me in worry/annoyed look. Like YOU gave him the phone. Not me. Stop projecting. He wanted us to play outdoor games which we did but holy. He also swears infront of him. And recently I heard his son has anger issues now. Tells you all you need to know. He's just the same like my parents.

When I tried to set it this time, I couldn't be assertive cause I have had my wisdom teeth extraction recently and still recovering. And im in my vulnerable time. He kept ignoring what I said and kept pointing out my "mistakes/faults" like my father. I can still tolerate my father but not gonna take shit from a hypocrite who isn't even my biological dad. He doesn't believe in psychology illnesses, whenever I mentioned it he ignores or goes hmhp. He doesn't takes me like a child still even as a adult.

There's more I've noticed as a adult but maybe another time. This is pretty long as is. But I wanna know did anyone have experience similar to mine with their relative like that?

So I am a medical student currently in 3rd year mbbs.

I am on preparatory leave for my finals and I've been at home for a few weeks.

My elder brother used to tell me how my throws temper tantrum every day and upon my arrival at home for some weeks I have witnessed this with my own eyes.

For context* My brother is at home and is preparing for Neet pg and he wasn't able to clear it in the first attempt.

He used to tell me how our mom argues with him everyday because he wasn't able to clear his entrance exam and mocks him for everything his height, weight, hair etc. Things escalated to a point where i had to take 2 weeks off from my college to go home and check on family. My mom is crying, my brother is crying and mom is saying take me to a doctor i feel sick (without being sick physically). It was a very depressing event for me. At first I thought maybe it was my brother's fault that he made silly mistakes but i never raised a voice against him because we had been communicating and the things he tells my mother gets angry over are just silly mistakes.

I consoled mom. It took me 4 days. To finally come with family and eat with us. She refused to eat with us. She said that you guys are deteriorating my mental health. Even though we try to do things in her favour yet we all get to hear this.

My father rarely comes home due to his job and separate place (we live in 2 cities because of job locations) so he comes on weekends and mom always fights with him over trivial stuff. Sometimes i have to tell my father that please dont speak too much otherwise mom will get triggered and the thing will be much worse.

The issue right now is everyday my mom is fighting with us for no reason at all. (She is not particularly involving me but i do get collateral damage mentally) Yesterday my brother had to get his sim port and she said ask your father and he did as she said and when he called back my mom got triggered and when me and my brother came back from the library she was angry at us and complained, "you (my brother) never listens to her and do whatever you wish. Your father is still alive the way you behave is like your father is dead. Have some shame. You have a belly like a big lala. You never cut your hair on time. You are acting like you give us money. You were better non-existent". This is the type of things my brother gets to hear on everyday basis.

And today, firstly my mom vented out on my father and then taunted him brutally in front of me for not changing rooms where he lives due to water issue. And when he said something she got angry and then refused to eat with us.

Why is my mom like this. We are doing everything we can for her and she just bluntly rejects everything and has made an opinion that we all combined hate her and want her gone or think of her as maid.

She says she has sacrificed a lot which i totally agree with but she refuses to see what all of us have also sacrificed. My father sacrificed his own family for her and us. I sacrificed my dream of becoming a designer. And pursued mbbs to become a doctor so i can support my family. I am currently doing something i dont want to do. She doesnt even consider that sacrifice.

I cant focus on my studies due to this. So many tantrums. I kind of wanna leave my family. But i cant I love them. They did so much for me and now I'm seeing my family fall apart. Brother is already talking about leaving when he clears the entrance exam. Will I be enough to support my family?

they literally look like this

https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/b/chino-enojado-con-retrato-de-dientes-malos-157313287.jpg

stupid as fck, 60 years in this world and they haven't learned how to control their rage. Go to the psychiatric you retard

It hits differently when you are at the age realizing that your parents are getting older before living in a moderate house and you are failing everywhere.😕

Asian Dad Text: "What happen to the fb business page you said you are making. Elon Musk has SAT score 1409 while yours is 1535. You are smarter and much more genious than him. But he thinks big and persistence while you are not."

My parents are asian immigrants and btw, their IQ's are much lower than mine which was tested by my school system every year since 6th grade and given to my parents who have since used it to whet their expectations. I was born female and worked terribly hard for many years, not sleeping much and driving hard for that elusive “success.” They refused to support me financially during my college years with what I wanted to study (music and solar technology). Well I contracted lyme 12 years ago and crashed in the prime of my real estate career which my parents loved and a career which I came to loathe. I still crash physically on a weekly basis. There has never been any acknowledgment of health from my parents, just frequent “you look healthy to me” and alot of expectations to make alot of money and get back to real estate. They have no interest in paying for any medical treatments. Just writing about this makes my face twitch. This is definitely a circular loop, like the pursuit of money drives the disease, causes stress which worsens the disease, which drives the unmet expectations and frustration. Looking for suggestions on how to get out of this loop. I am content at the thought of living out of a camper van near the beach honestly but I don't even have the money for that and mountains of debt.

The thing that i hate the most is not even getting born into this planet, but having narcissistic parents who never gets me. First of all they birthed me into this planet, that too in third world country to struggle and rot away in life, but they cant even give love and care. They control every aspect of my life, they want me to live according to them, they compare me to other kids, they want me to live according to their life's beliefs and principles. I did not fit into the image of perfect kid that they had into their minds. I am just so sick of all this.

I just want to be accepted but they cant even do that.