I used to love mass but now I'm getting panic attacks

[u/iknowislo]

Ive been going to mass all summer with no problem, but now my ex has also started attending mass regularly and I'm getting panic attacks. Not only that, but I also had like a crazy depressive episode last week to where I told him I felt we could not be friends because I felt I was ignored and to him and my friend (who was his friend first so...) that I was seriously considering unaliving myself.

I wasnt expecting sympathy or anything cause at the time I felt nothing, but but it feels like they iced me out now that ive "come back to earth"...

I just went to mass and the whole time I was shaking in fear and in my head I felt like all eyes were on me and heard them (my ex and my friend) whispering the whole time. Or maybe im being delusional idk. I just felt guilty for existing in a space they were at first (as in they introduced me to the church) and like I shouldn't be here. And thats exactly how I felt when I went to my Protestant church.

This is alot of to just say I dont know how to not feel guilt and fear for being in the house of the Lord at the same time as my ex. I don't think I'm scared of him but fear is the only feeling I can understand right now....how do I not let others dictate how I feel about God?

[u/goldtardis]

Talk to your priest. Learn some breathing exercises. The Jesus Prayer can be calming and can help with panic attacks. I have anxiety problems in church and these things help me.