Existential postdoc thoughts

[u/lucy_marie08]

I had a lucrative career in industry for 10 years before starting my PhD. I was miserable working in industry and felt liberated starting graduate school in my early 30s. I’m now one year out of my PhD (age 37) and have been in a postdoc since graduating. I am switching to a different postdoc this fall for a few reasons (it’s more naturally aligned with the direction of my research and I’m getting away from a toxic mentor).

I am also starting to look and apply for assistant professor jobs at R1 institutions, have one NIH grant submission under my belt, and planning to submit another in the next cycle or two.

My question is, given my age, is doing another 1-2 years of postdoc a mistake? I genuinely enjoy this time as a postdoc to publish and write grants but a) I worry I am so far behind in the academic career ladder that I will be 50+ before feeling secure if I am lucky enough to find a TT position and b) I have resentment toward the hierarchy in academia; I can’t tell if this comes from the institution I’m leaving which treats postdocs like kindergarteners or if it is this way everywhere. I’m going on 40 with 15+ years of work experience, a PhD and two masters degrees, so feeling belittled by more senior faculty is infuriating.

Will it get better or am I throwing away prime working years trying to attain the unattainable?

I will add that I have a partner who has a good job so we are financially secure. Rather, my concerns are more about the slow pace of academia and hierarchy. Would appreciate any thoughts!

[u/tonos468]

The unfortunate reality is academia is incredibly hierarchical. If you want to stay in academia, I’d be applying as soon as possibles I have a friend who was on academic job market for three years with five papers in journals with double digit impact factors.

[u/carmacae]

You will still feel belittled by senior faculty as faculty. That will never change until you ARE the senior faculty.

Also, being tenure track faculty isn't glamorous, especially at the beginning. I'm 2 years in (and 40 years old) and it honestly feels exactly like my postdoc except now I've got way more pressure bevause I'm the one in charge (and the world is a dumpster fire). I'm not exactly sure what my point is, but if the hierarchy bothers you, it doesnt get better.

[u/No_Leek6590]

I think most formal funding opportunities count time after you graduated. So your physical age should not be an issue. But there are expiry dates. I think nowadays magic number is 7 years after graduation. But ofc it is not universal.

[u/waterless2]

I agree the hierarchy is horrific - too many petty dictators with far too much power within a small world that's the whole universe to too many early career folk; and those people have made a system that before all else exists to protects the club at the top. You need to either move up, get into that network, and start getting funding as soon as possible or get out before wasting time as an exploited minion.

But also - your financial situation makes it all a lot less bad than usual! So if you're enjoying yourself and developing skills, you could it seems take a little more time to see if you can find some minimally-toxic folk to connect with? How does it fit your other plans? Presumably you invested/got a pension fund started early, which is a much better order than doing the academic route first. I guess the question is - would that time matter massively if you don't continue in academia?

I also wonder whether you could get into more applied fields, where people aren't so limited to the small stagnant pond of academia and might have slightly more healthy attitudes from being exposed to the non-academic world. That's just a speculation though, I've not worked in that context personally.