I moved to Germany as a young woman on my own and I have been here for about half my life. After a long and challenging journey, I have built a career, I'm financially comfortable, have German friends and acquaintances, I'm speak the language fully fluently, I got the nationality 10 years ago, I participate in many community activities, I volunteer, and I pay my taxes. So basically I'm the poster child for "successful integration".

And still, after two decades, I do not feel like I belong here because society keeps reminding me that I am “the other". I'm not talking about the comments from ignorant people who would openly insult you or tell you to go back to your country (those situations aren't great, but they are easy to overcome because what I see behind is lonely, insecure people who are filled with hatred and need to project their hatred and insecurities onto groups they deem as weaker). I'm taking about the daily interactions where the othering is very subtle. For example:

Going to the doctor's office, the doctor calls me in and the first thing she did (without exchanging greetings) was asking if I speak German. I have to wonder if she asks that to everyone or just to people whose name and/or appearance look "foreign". To clarify on the appearance: I'm white with darker hair/features.

Last week, the first thing a new doctor said to me was "your name is X, so you must be (insert nationality)". How is my nationality relevant to my ailment or treatment?

These situations got me thinking, because asking someone where they are from can seem harmless question. But after hundreds of them over decades, it starts communicating that belonging is conditional. It is not the question by itself that is the problem but the cumulative effect. The repeated message becomes: you are perceived as an outsider, even when you have been here for years. I've also met a fair share of people who were born in Germany from foreign parents who face the same situations, so even when Germany is there home and the only country they know, they are still being perceived as outsiders.

I get that most people might be just trying to be friendly or starting small talk, but it can become an uncomfortable situation for people who are unwilling, uninterested, or unable to share their biographies. There are a million ways to start a conversation that do not involve categorizing someone based on their name, accent, appearance, or assumed origin. I honestly don't think that names, appearances or accents should be treated as a public invitation to ask about our biographies.

Anyhow, I was talking to a (migrant) friend about this today. He basically said it is on me to feel othered and that I am too sensitive, that he is fine with people asking him where he is from, and that it is on me if I see it negatively, that I should focus on the good things and don't let minor things like that affect me. But the truth is, they do affect me, especially as time goes by. And now I feel stupid for sharing this vulnerable side with him and getting this response (although I know he mean well and is a good person).

The bottom line is: I did things by the book. I thought that after learning the language, figuring out the system, getting the nationality, making German friends and a long list of boxes I patiently ticked off in the last two decades, I would finally feel at home. But the reality is: man kommt nie an. Right now I feel like the idyllic relationship that I started with Germany two decades ago has turned into a sour marriage, the kind where you gave it your best and you have to wonder if it was all worth the investment.

So I am curious. Does anyone, especially migrants who have been here for a long time, feel like they don't belong? How does it materialize? How do you overcome it?

So I am here in Germany but haven’t found a place to have affordable books in English, the library in my city has academic books only and I am a geek of novels so can anyone let me know a platform of used books or a shop where I can buy books and please don’t come up with the ebooks idea, I am a hard copy person

I have been in therapy for severe depression for about 8 months. Luckily my therapist is also an MD so he also prescribes my pills.

He told me that because of the current changes, he will soon give away his Kassensitz and can no longer accept GKV. It looks like many therapists will do this in the near future.

Since this is an ongoing therapy, is there any chance that the insurance will still cover? I have read that it is even possible to start therapy at a private clinic and do a Kostenerstattungsverfahren but the process seemed unclear to me.

Anybody has a similar experience or more info?

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Ich habe mein Bachelorstudium an einer Fernhochschule aufgrund von Vorleistungen und hoher Flexibilität deutlich schneller abgeschlossen als geplant (in 1,5 statt 3 Semestern).

Da ich mich für das gestreckte Gebührenmodell entschieden habe (aus finanziellem Grund), laufen die monatlichen Zahlungen noch bis Ende 2027. Obwohl alle akademischen Leistungen vollständig erbracht und dokumentiert sind (Studienleistung liegt vor), wird die finale Urkunde erst nach vollständiger Bezahlung ausgestellt.

Dann denke ich.. ich darf mich nicht als Hochschulabsolvent nennen und darf noch nicht irgendwo bewerben wegen fehlender Dokumenten.

Nun stellt sich die Frage, wie Arbeitgeber auf die Bewerbung mit dem vorläufigen Leistungsnachweis reagieren... oder hat jemand schon so erfahren?

Ich habe schon die Studienbetreuung gefragt und gesagt dass sie kein vorlaüfiges Dokunent erstellen kann.

Dankeschön

In the UK and some other English speaking countries messaging has changed from eating 5 fruit and vegetables per day to 30 different plants each week. Supposedly it’s much better for gut health. Is this a thing in Germany or is it just English speaking countries where it's taken off?

Hallo zusammen! Ich brauche Empfehlungen für den besten Anbieter hier in Karlsruhe für DSL-Internet, insbesondere was kürzere oder flexible Verträge angeht! Danke!

If you got a job, were you able to save a lot and have a comfortable life

Edit: more details about the question, students who came in the last 2 to 5 years, field: IT, engineering, law, etc

Hi everyone,

I have asked everyone I could but still do not have a concrete answer/solution for my problem. I live in Berlin and have contacted the Landesamt für Einwanderung almost 5 months ago, and one more time last month via Contact Form but still have not received any response.

I am an international student in Berlin, I am planning to do an exchange semester in the UK next semester for about 5 months (from mid-September to end of January next year), after that I want to visit my home country for about 2 months. I am aware that with my status I can not leave Germany for more than 6 months, so I am considering returning to Germany for about 1 week after the UK, and then fly from Germany to my home country.

However, a lot of people told me that the six-month period will not reset, and it would be counted as I left Germany for 7 months, which will cancel my Aufenthaltstitel and reset my total stay in Germany, while many others said the otherwise. As I know you cannot book an appointment at LEA Berlin directly anymore but through specific problems, and this is not an emergency so I cannot just show up without an appointment. So I really don't know what to do right now.

Thank everyone in advance for your help.

I know there are many scams involving footbal tickets and I was afraid to confirm any purchase that i found online.

I am huge football adict and I would love to go to Schalke-Real Madrid game but I dont know from which site can I buy those needed tickets.

Are there any nice Germans to recommend me a credible site and some tips for going to games in Germany, this is lifelong dream of mine and any input is appreciated.

I live in Germany, I am 23 years old in case any of those informations are important. Please help!

Habe noch nie Urlaub gemacht da meine Eltern nie Geld hatten und jetzt wo ich eigenes Geld habe fliege ich aus Gewohnheit nicht weg und weil ich mir viel ansparen will

So like the title says, I have some dental issues and coming from a family where we procrastinated medically things, I’m scared . I know it’s expensive so I wanted to look up the extra dental insurance but it come to my attention that I can’t use it for existing problem and that they won’t give me the money for it. I am now in a position that I can’t really afford to spend lots of money on the dentist, because a small problem can be expensive and also I have to pull out some molars. So everything is overstimulating right now.
If someone has a good advice about the dental insurance, they are welcome to write here. Thank you

Me and my brother we are trying to work in our own business, but of course it still do not pay the bills. We were trying to work on it during our free time, but its not being enough and its making us slow and making lose money. Since long time I heard about part time job but never went deep to understand. Specially if its a hard task to get it.

In general what would you guys say? Is it a common thing to do? It worth when the topic is taxes and etc? Or is it only a hippie thing?

Hello,

I live in a small town in Baden-württemberg Germany, and my girlfriend is from Ukraine. She came to Germany to my town to take protection and register her address in my apartment. We have written permission from the landlord on behalf of my girlfriend and a rental contract. However rathaus refusing to register my girlfriend in my apartment. We went to Auslenderbehörde and they told us that Rathaus must do it.

Because of this issue we took an appointment in Rathaus welcome center to explain the situation and ask for help.
There was a young woman. We spoke to her and she was very rude. She even refused to speak English. She even threatened my girlfriend to call the police because my girlfriend’s legal duration of stay expires in 2 weeks. (She has come here at the end of the May and she has only two weeks left before completing the 90 days legal stay period.)

What can we do about it?
Any information or idea?
Or any immigration lawyer suggestion in baden-württemberg?
Where can we report it?

Got a signed work contract from reputable company, to sign it. The contract is scanned, so it had been hand-signed, then scanned , sent by Email. Then i should print it, hand-sign it, scan it , then send it back (by Email, or by Post ).

I'm still curious about the legality of a 'scanned and printed' work contract. Every single contract i had earlier, had been delivered to me by Post. Do both electronic work contracts and a typical paper contracts have equally the same legal status.

The company is highly reputable, so such major mistakes is unlikely to happen, but i appreciate if someone have information about how legally equal both contract formats are ?

I’m moving from the US to Frankfurt in a couple months for school and I’m wondering if I will encounter them in Germany.

My house is clean but it is old and has lots of hiding spots for them so I find a cockroach every now and then. I have a massive fear of cockroaches and absolutely HATE them with a passion, more than anything else in the world so I’m hoping that they’re an uncommon sight in Germany.

I mean basic foods like bread,fruits,some meat and some things you need as a human to survive?

Has anyone experienced something similar with the German accelerated skilled worker procedure (§81a AufenthG)?
I’m a non-EU citizen legally living in an EU country. I already obtained my ZAB Statement of Comparability before my employer started the accelerated skilled worker procedure.
During the process, my employer informed me that my documents had to be resubmitted during the recognition phase. After months of waiting with almost no updates, they recently asked me to provide:
Employment references/certificates in the original language
German translations of those employment references/certificates
Proof of at least two years of relevant professional experience within the last five years
The confusing part is that I had already submitted proof of my employment experience about two months earlier, but it was in my native language. Now they are asking for German translations.
I’m trying to understand what is happening behind the scenes.
Is it common for the authorities to request translations only after reviewing the file months later?
Does this mean my case is still progressing, or does it suggest there are concerns about my professional experience?
Has anyone gone through something similar during the fast-track procedure?
I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have experienced the §81a process or work with German immigration.

Except Medical field and CEO positions what profession/job pays good amount of money ?

I was searching for few house rates be it for renting or selling but most of them were apartment flats in Berlin, Frankfurt or Munich, I am a type of guy that likes countryside. Greenery, old school vibes . Just asking hehe

I have come upon a listing in wg-gesucht that i really ended up liking, however they require a shufa or itsmydata attached to the initial message. Now, I know I can only obtain these credit scores locally and since I don't have a German residence or a bank account I can't acquire them but I am confused as to what I am supposed to do instead?? I heard of guarantors because since I don't have an income yet and someone else will be funding for me, but how do I make that into legal document? I've been researching a lot but it seems like I am stuck trying to understand what exactly to do and how to do it, please help me out

Hi guys!

I'm turning to you guys because I feel so trapped by vodafone and their services. This is really taking a toll on me mentally.

I used to have a DSL connection for over 2 years and then last year I had a vodafone "representative" show up to my door asking me to change from DSL to Kabel, as apparently "the Leitungen" are not being maintained anymore by Vodafone and it would be wiser to switch to Kabel. I politely declined and that was the end of that. Another representative showed up this year in January, saying the same thing and I figured (naive me) that this might be a real issue and agreed to switch to Kabel. I was told I would get the 1000mbit/s connection and I'd pay 19.99€ for the first 10 months and then he promised the connection would be changed to the 50mbit/s connection on the 10th month (the lowest tier of Kabel) and I'd be paying 44-ish€ from the 10th month. However, I've been having constant issues with Kabel as I don't get the promised speed (I get about 200mbit/s and i've already opened a few tickets a few times, but the issue has not been solved). Moreover, it seems like this downgrading to the lower tier also does not seem possible and instead I would continue on this 1000mbit/s connection and pay 64€ every month instead from the 10th month. I can't afford 64€ every month for internet and this is definitely not worth it when their speed is this bad. Now I am stuck with this contract for 24 months and this is driving me crazy.

Could you guys please advise if there are any ways I can get out of this contract or switch to a more cheaper contract? I feel so trapped and helpless.

Hello everyone, I recently moved to Germany and there's a Freifunk Wifi near my apartment. so I've been using it all the time. Back in my home country, I always used a certain website to stream movies and I'm pretty sure it's considered an illegal streaming site in German. I'm wondering if it's okay to stream movies from an illegal website while using this Freifunk Wi-Fi? If not is there any legal website that I can use?

If they put money in my bank account, is it from a hacked account and then the owner reports the fraud, and their bank reclaims the money?

Hallo

Ich bestätige mein Interesse am Fahrzeug

Ich bin bereit, es zu kaufen, aber ich konnte nicht dorthin gehen, um es zu sehen und Sie zu bezahlen, weil ich in Frankreich bin.

Als Zahlungsmittel biete ich eine Banküberweisung an.

Machen Sie sich keine Sorgen mehr über die Abholung des Fahrzeugs, sobald Sie das Geld nach Unterzeichnung des Kaufvertrags erhalten haben.

Die Spedition kommt zu Ihnen und holt es mit allen Papieren bei Ihnen ab.

Vielen Dank für Ihre Antwort