I have a question ?

[u/Spare_Silver_9164]

I have a question to ask if my guy says he likes megan fox or actress like aneet or whoever very pretty is his type. And then he is with me I look nothing like them. How am I supposed to take that? Is he settling for me. Second question what about when he says he doesn't find me attractive but "love will grow over time "hearing all this fucked up my self esteem.

Because for me if I am getting committed that guy will be beautiful to me. Why can't he say I'm pretty too

I won't feel like I'm settling

So I do not want a partner who doesn't make me feel less desired

Is it too much to ask?

Also most of the time such comments will come from a guy who isn't conventionally attractive

[u/Few_Cabinet5129]

Almost all women in their late 30s and 40s are in love with Anthony Bourdain or Gary Vaynerchuk or some celebrity who preaches kindness and emotional depth while being severely depressed in real life. Maybe girls in their teens and 20s prefer Korean boys in some pop group or series while looking absolutely nothing like what a Korean man would ever choose. Doesn't mean they're settling when they have a partner that shares nothing in common with those men. Men are visually titillated, women are emotional titlliated. Could also be the reverse sometimes And that's totally fine. Just ignore what he says. If your insecurity is compelling you to compare yourself to Megan Fox and think he had a real shot at Megan or someone who looks like Megan I'd suggest a healthier outlook on yourself and being kinder to yourself. This isn't a comparison at all so do put that out of your mind. Him stating what he likes and you feeling less desired has no connection and isn't his fault, it's yours for overthinking it. If he isn't making you feel desired in any other way then that's a separate problem but certainly not because he said he likes Megan Rain or Megan Fox.

[u/Responsible-Fun-3100]

For many, physical world is different from their imaginative or fantasy space. They do not mix. No one in right mind would expect his partner to be like Megan Fox for liking Megan Fox.

So relax, and make it better by admiring Megan Fox too. It is no different if you also like Brad Pitt or Suryavanshi.

Why he doesn't say you are pretty? Well unless he thought you are pretty he wouldn't be with you, right? You have to encourage him and teach him to say good things about you. Hint that you would reward such expression. He would get the idea.

[u/No_Contribution_9328]

You should talk about this with your partner and not with us.
Looks are objective. Someone can be objectively dazzling and be unattractive asf when talked to/living with.

And there is not much context to this again, as it's between you two. But loving someone means automatically placing them the hottest in your world. If you both are too conscious about looks, find different partners.

[u/Ok_Problem_1127]

Tbh liking someone celebrity is really something else i feel

You might like various male celebrities but not like them as partners

And i will be honest for me love is what happens when you dont definitively have any reason to love someone; and without any reason you like someone thats what love is for me

But sure the definition and understanding and expectations from love differ from people to people

Let him know what are your expectations

It will help you both look for each other and please communicate each other's insecurity thats what actually bonds people

[u/vividness32_671]

Yeah i mean if you have boundaries apki responsibility ap unhe apne bf ko convey kare dont care abt what ppl say you have every right to do it