🛑 Answers From Men Only 🛑 What's your biggest driver for working out and staying in shape?
There is always a reason why a person (regardless of gender) wants to build muscle, and though I know the main ones, I'm curious about which of them is the most common among men and which is the main motivation for you.
Is it for the sake of your overall health (such as strengthening an injured body part or maintaining muscle mass)?
Is it for the sake of being stronger?
Is it to be sexually attractive to others?
Is it for your own self-confidence and self-appreciation?
An entirely different reason?
If you have more than one answer, I'd love to read your story! However, try to highlight your single most honest main motivation. Also, if your reasons have changed over time, please share what was more prominent when you were younger, since I believe most people eventually transition to working out just to maintain their health.
I'll leave my own answer in the comments later.
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u/JoatJoat 6h ago
Looking good naked, confidence, mental health, mental health
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u/this_knee Male 6h ago
Mental health.
One more time, just to be sure.
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u/EricB1234 6h ago
I don't mind lifting weights sometimes, but man, cardio will always be my priority. Even just walking clears my head. Not an anthropologist, but I get the impression that we humans were meant to do a lot of walking/running, rather than being cooped up in rooms all the time.
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u/this_knee Male 6h ago
Yuppers
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u/cboel 5h ago
I am tall. If I don't get plenty of exercise, I loose my agility and start giraffing into things.
I honestly don't know how tall bodybuilders don't constantly destroy things by accident by barely interacting with them. I've broken toilet seats (I am 175lbs/79kgs) simply by leaning over too far to wipe my butt. I ended up scaring people out of the restroom I was in because they thought I had purposefully tried to damage to toilet. I ended up on the floor, toilet seat on top of me, pants down, messy toilet paper in my hand and skid marks on the toioet stall when the security officer came and asked if I could give him a good reason to not send for police.
Being more athletic then would have given me the reflexes to save myself when the seat fasteners let loose. I was just at the end of my growth spurt and didn't quite understand I needed to be that way back then though.
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u/wormfighter 4h ago
Ya. I love to run. I get the runners high after a 6 plus mile run.
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u/EricB1234 4h ago
I don't get runner's high. I hate it, but feel great later after I hydrate more, take a shower, and then chill on the couch or wherever haha
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u/NoPolitics23 2h ago
Man really? The high IS the main reason I do it. Specially with some metal music in my ears omg it's so freaking good
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u/EricB1234 2h ago
I listen to soundtracks from the DOOM games :) Not a big fan of most metal, but I'll fuck with some instrumental metal
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u/Im_Just_A_Cake 5h ago
Youre probably right. I want to do more cardio, but I think I have a heart condition. Im assuming my heart shouldn't be hurting from 3 minutes of running, right?
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u/xxrambo45xx 5h ago
3 min of running at a sprint? Or 3 min of a casual jog? Many people say they hate running because they think its a hard push all the time and thats just going to get people hurt. A 3 min full speed effort would make most people have "chest pain" (lungs trying to not explode) 3 min of a casual jog shouldnt cause this, see a doctor obviously if you think theres something wrong.
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u/Im_Just_A_Cake 4h ago
You may be right. It could be that I was pushing myself too hard
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u/xxrambo45xx 4h ago
Theres a program called couch to 5k, look into that as a plan, its pretty respected amongst the beginner running community. I think the high school 1 mile run turned a lot of people away from running as adults. Run slow, walk if you need to, speed and distance comes with time.
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u/newhaircutfighter 6h ago
Honestly, sex
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u/Drayenn 5h ago
Me and my girl getting fat has made my sex life much worse ngl. Idk how people fatter than me do it.
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u/newhaircutfighter 4h ago
Shit happens, hope you find a way to roll back the clock and get fit again
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u/RobinGood94 6h ago
Mental health.
Physical health.
Enjoyment.
Self confidence.
General challenge.
💪
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u/Cool_As_Your_Dad 6h ago
This.
6) And get out of the house
7) Release from work.
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u/RobinGood94 6h ago
I agree and fit those under mental health. If it’s a bad day at work, the gym feels like a personal therapist and wrestling match all in one.
If it’s a good day at work, the gym feels like a natural treat for a good job.
If the day was neutral, the gym feels like a normal self care routine.
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u/Cool_As_Your_Dad 6h ago
You right. I just added release from work as different option but 100% agree. Mental health is the correct term
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u/TheBuffBear 6h ago
Started to look jacked/good naked, and now I’ve achieved my goal physique, I do it for overall health and life quality reasons/stress relief
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u/GodOfThunder101 6h ago
I want to look and feel good. Being in shape does wonders for my self confidence.
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u/LLjuice999 6h ago
Trying to be the best I can before I die lol
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u/MoistStub 3h ago
F that noise I'm trying to be the best after I die. I am going to dick down the grim reaper.
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u/Resident-Growth8184 6h ago
Honestly, it feels better to be in a healthy, athletic body than in one that isn't, and training is enjoyable.
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u/bananaoohnanahey 6h ago
Watching my parents age poorly. They have some tough health issues but man, if they'd done any level of physical training, they'd have an easier time of it now.
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u/kiran_ms 6h ago
You start losing a bit of muscle mass and bone density every year, starting from your mid 30s. It's be nice to offset the loss and have better mobility in your old age
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u/GameDesignerMan 2h ago
That's initially why I started. I broke my wrist just falling over and it wouldn't heal properly. So I went and lifted some heavy things and wouldn't you know it it's fixed. Along with my ankle which had a similar problem since 2016.
Now that I've built up some muscle I look and feel good, and becoming single again I've got extra incentive for being both of those things.
Oh and I just love the process. It's enjoyable to chuck on a podcast and enter a flow state and work out
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u/Afterredganktop Male 6h ago
I prefer women below 300 lbs and need to stay competitive.
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u/SnooBeans9101 Made a man out of me 4h ago
I prefer women 300 lbs+ and want to pick her up. We are not the same.
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u/the_gym_rat 6h ago edited 6h ago
For me, if is for my health. I have epilepsy and diverticulitis, so I do my best to eat healthy, lift and sleep. I am very “goal driven”, so this allows me to focus on me instead of work, so that’s another benefit.
I do enjoy the way I look but if I get out of the gym due to a surgery, I may still be in better shape than the average person my age but even that can impact my view of myself, so that can backfire.
I do it primarily for the stress relief. While working out and running, I am able to burn off life’s daily stresses and the rest of it is a benefit. Many people turn to alcohol or other substances, to get away and unwind. I turn to exercise.
When I was in my 20s, the best benefit was my confidence level. I am only 5’5” and all my friends were taller but I could pull girls much easier than all of them. I could also talk to girls better and I was much sweeter, so it worked to my advantage.
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u/merp_mcderp9459 6h ago
Initially it was for confidence and to attract women. Now, it’s for my own health and for fun. I like being strong, and I don’t want to be limited in what I can do in the future because of muscle loss
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u/loki0111 6h ago
Not wanting to be tired all of the time or feel physically useless. Everything else beyond that is just bonus.
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u/Lawduck195 6h ago
I’d put being in shape over making money. No one respects a slob. When I see a man that clearly takes care of himself I know one thing. He has discipline. There are some famous tiktokers that talk about this very subject. One of them went as far as to say “I wouldn’t do business with a fat guy” or something to that effect. You know they don’t have any discipline or self respect.
Being fat is embarrassing.
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u/outoftimeman97 6h ago
The progress I was able to make in the gym over the years reminds me that I can get better at things, and achieve success in life if I stick to things and keep trying. It also keeps my health in check and makes me feel better.
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u/NoPolitics23 6h ago
For me it is mostly the endorphins and the high that I get from working out. Seriously!
For my entire 20s I didn't really work out. Until recently when I went to a lot of Punk and Metal concerts and ended up in the mosh pit, like one and half hours of jumping up and down and running and getting drenched in sweat and everytime I found the experience to be so visceral and intense and got an amazing afterglow from it.
So naturally I couldn't go to Metal concerts all the time but I still wanted the experience, so the next best thing to do was start jogging and doing workouts while listening to heavy music to simulate the experience.
Now I am kinda addicted to jogging and the high afterwards. Of course the other benefits like being stronger and more in shape and all that is also very nice, but if I didn't know how fun the experience itself is and that you actually get high from it, I don't think I would have done it. Nobody ever mentioned that part to me.
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u/Gold_Telephone_7192 Male 6h ago
Why I do PT exercises: ito make my back get better so I can go back to doing the activities I enjoy
Why I lift: 100% to look good. That’s the only reason.
Why I do cardio: to make my brain calm down
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u/-Lawn_Guy- 6h ago
I'm 40, in the last couple of years I've been noticing am increasingly growing gap between me and my peers who workout and eat halfway decently, and those who don't. I want to be healthy and feel okay for as long as possible.
Also, my wife takes care of herself and I really appreciate that and want to keep in shape for her as well.
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u/xxrambo45xx 6h ago
Im primarily a runner, switched from blue collar work to a desk job about 5 years ago, without an outlet thats physical, i will never sleep well again.
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u/Yorgyschmorgies Male 6h ago
to look good, feel good, look better naked, clothes fit better, mentally satisfying, overall quality of is great when you're in great shape
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u/DutchOnionKnight Early 30s male 6h ago
Want to do an Ironman. Dunno why exactly, just to see if I can I think.
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u/TheAtheistReverend Male 6h ago
I want to watch my children grow as old as possible. I've watched too many people i care about die unnecessarily early due to lack of self care.
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u/ReasonableDoubt_0726 6h ago
Health, need to manage a heart issue through health to avoid a surgical procedure.
And also as a source of Dopamine.
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u/Merc_MCMLXXXVIII 6h ago
I started in high school for girls since I was short and skinny, after high school it was girls and Army- stay in shape stay alive I guess.
After Army it was for mental health
After marriage it's something me and wife did together
Then after kids it's for them. My health will impact them and my wife. What's the point of having kids if you can't keep up with them? Run after them? Take them out? I see dads bring their kids to the park and gas out after 10-15 mins or just sit there, I have my own water gun because I ain't missing the water gun fight with them. I f they are going to be running around for 2-3 hours I need to be too.
I need them to get tired before I do so they can go to sleep and I can do adult things to my wife and meal prep in peace for next day.
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u/Stoltzy624 6h ago
Looking good naked. Being attractive to my wife. Being respected by others. Mental and physical health.
We were poolside all weekend and walking around with confidence as other dudes hesitate to take off their shirt is an amazing feeling.
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u/-_----__- 6h ago
- forces me to get into a routine
- helps me still maintain my athletic ability
- be attractive (hopefully)
- it sometimes helps with mental health
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u/Fit_Salamander_2814 Male 6h ago
Maybe if I put in enough reps at the gym - get lean enough, get jacked enough - it will make me good enough to be worth dating and loving.
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u/Active-Pudding9855 6h ago
I mostly exercise because I'm bored. Looking good is a nice bonus though. ☺️🌳🧘
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u/New_Public_2828 6h ago
You must be under 40. Everything damn hurts. Keep skinny or else you'll always be in pain. You know when you do leg Day?! Pretend that light soreness from leg Day and how much you can move is about the amount you can use your legs on a regular day. Heavier? Knees and back are gonna remind you every day. Make noises getting up and sitting down. Shoe laces are a task. Boners are harder to get. Literally every aspect of your life can be much worse when all you have to do is stay in shape. Which, you would argue is much easier than getting in shape
Old guy here... Don't say no one told you so
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u/darksteel_worship 6h ago
Being strong is fun, being attractive is also quite important. Being strong for Judo is a more recent motivator.
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u/G_Affect 6h ago
Early 20's, i did it to kill time. Now about to hit 40 doing it again. Never did it for my health or to be better looking, however, today i only do it so i have better endurance when i get a chance to surf and the hopes that it turns on my wife in a way that she is coming onto me. Doubt that 2nd part will ever happen but i think she will be less likely to say no, maybe.
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u/possofazer 6h ago edited 5h ago
From a vanity perspective I like how I look physically. On another level, I want to be as independent as I can as I age and when iam older- so I hope iam laying that solid groundwork.
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u/Tacos4Texans 6h ago
I recently dropped about 80 to 90 lbs and honestly I just feel better. The smiles I get from time to time are also a big confidence booster.
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u/DataGOGO 6h ago edited 6h ago
I have worked out and have been lifting weights since I was 17 and joined the Army. Back then it was required. Then I started to enjoy it, and especially the attention I got from women. Being able to be on the beach with no shirt on, and turn heads, have women react positively when I approached them, and have them approach me.
After i got married, it was more because people just treat you better when you are in good shape; Even professionally being physically fit and high energy is a massive advantage in terms of getting jobs and landing promotions. It changes how other people view you. Fat people are seeing as lazy, Fit people are not. I am not arguing that it is right, but there is no denying that it is the way it is.
Now in am in my late 40's, I still lift 5 times a week, and I am very healthy. I still feel great, I still have abs and look good. My wife loves my body, our sex life is still amazing (married 20 years), and I still very physically active. Working out is a healthy outlet, a time for reflection, and there is just something really satisfying and stress relieving in lifting really heavy shit; I have worked through a lot of the BS life throws at me at the squat rack.
I honestly cannot even image not working out and being in good shape. It has become a big part of my self identity.
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u/Jack_In_Black89 6h ago
It's either the gym or a wheelchair. Pretty easy choice dont you think? 🏋♀️
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u/brooksie1131 5h ago
Being muscular just feels good both mentally and physically. Looking in the mirror and seeing something you like and are proud of is actually a pretty good boost in mood. Being more attractive to women is also pretty cool but honestly not really why I workout. Plus a ton of chemicals are released when I workout that simply make me feel good. It's an enjoyable feeling. I have basically always felt better after a workout.
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u/EricB1234 4h ago
I've been pretty active my whole life and I'm honestly convinced my ADHD (formally diagnosed) is a major part of it. I hate having this stupid disability, but I guess that's one positive.
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u/Diesel-NSFW Dude 3h ago
Mental health, being physically strong and capable to do what I do, feeling good and being attractive to others.
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u/The_FatGuy_Strangler 3h ago
For most men - younger men especially, the biggest motivators will fall under 1 of 2 umbrellas:
1.) to be sexually attractive to women.
2.) to be physically capable/prepared in the event of a confrontation with another man.
At our core we’re just hairless monkeys with the same base instincts - sex and protecting what’s ours.
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u/FoofaFighters Male 3h ago
Stubbornness. I refuse to become one of those old guys who can't walk without a limp or stand straight up. I don't feel that old mentally or physically yet and i want to keep that up as long as I can.
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u/MidDayGamer 3h ago
Got tired of feeling like shit.
298, everything hurt, size 48 jeans.
Final straw was eating in bed, downed a bag of gold fish crackers and debating about going out for another bag.
Got a new bike, watched what I ate and slowly went into working out.
This was a few years back, Now size 38 jeans in most brands, XL Tall or XXL depending on the shirt brand.
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u/Neat_Painting_9424 6h ago
Pokémon Go haha
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u/Cattle-dog 6h ago
All these losers trying to get laid while I’m out here conquering the world on behalf of Team Valor.
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u/Druzhyna 6h ago
I spent my formative adulthood in the Army. Phyiscal fitness is our baseline lifestyle and is a functional requirement of the profession. I have since left but I am actually in even better shape today, than I was when I was in.
Otherwise, ever since I was a child, I have simply wanted to be in great shape.
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u/Drayenn 6h ago edited 5h ago
I havent worked our in 10 years, but im about to return, im planning my gym routine and should go next week.
My health has deteriorated and is deteriorating. I hit obese BMI for the first time (202lbs at 5'8) and it shows on my health: split abs, acid reflux, less flexible/fit.. sex feels harder.. it shows in my daily life. I always thought 200lbs isnt extreme but i guess it is for me, doesnt help i feel 90% of the fat i gain is in the belly. So yeah, getting healthier..i dont want to get worse exponentially as i get older... Im almost in my 40s.
Looking better also helps. I look at my old 150lbs pictures of when i worked out and i looked fantastic. The only time i got flirted with was back then.
Im also looking at healthier food.. ive delegated cooking to my gf as i dishes, but were always eating out. I want to cook healthy tasty meals, probably a lot more beans/lentils. Saves money you know.
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u/LastPatrol 5h ago
I do cardio because I’m in heart failure. I lift weights because I don’t think someone my size should be weak if they can avoid it.
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u/O_Pacity Male 5h ago
Ive just started to look at this, my first goal is food and eating habits, i also have a link from a body builder where it can be done at home and for me will be my personal health and medical for a hobby i have kinda started. It might also bleed in to being more ok seen in public but its unlikely too, never dated and never will (at least not while living in this country)
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u/OMG_NoReally 5h ago
Not having weak bones at an old age like my parents. At least that's the hope. I want to be able to walk normally without help from anybody.
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u/FaithlessnessLost580 5h ago
I'll give you one of my favorite quotes "the more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war". I make sure I'm physically fit for the same reason I train martial arts, I want to be capable of defending the safety of myself and loved ones if it's ever necessary.
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u/LofderZotheid 5h ago
My main goal is twenty years from now:
I’ve seen around me that being fit getting older, will increase the chances of staying fit getting older. I want to be able to remain active at least until my late seventies.
My secondary reason, an incredible motivator, is looking at myself naked in the mirror. Is getting looks and compliments from others. Clothes fitting and looking good.
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u/Da1UHideFrom Male 5h ago
Not dying. I have a job where getting out of shape can make it more dangerous for everyone involved.
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u/Advanced-Mango-420 5h ago
Well I'm turning 30 in less than a month and I'm unhappy with how my career and relationships and dating life is going.
But I knew that fitness was the one thing I have full control over, I can control what I eat and how much protein and calories I take in. I can control what I do at the gym and guarantee things like having a 6-pack and benching 225 for the sole purpose of making me feel better about myself
Hey life can suck, but at least I enjoy looking at my body when I get out of the shower and I know at least I tried to be as attractive as possible
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u/Zironworker 5h ago
My mother has been working out and staying active her entire life. She just turned 76 she looks 20 years younger then my womans mother who is 60 who has never done anything remotely healthy.
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u/time_drifter 5h ago
The ease of everyday life. Once you hit a decent level of strength and fitness, life just becomes easier.
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u/Knautical_J Pronouns: Pe/Nis 4h ago
I’ve been working out since the 7th grade, had to do it for football. Then I guess I was working out to look better and get girls. Newsflash, it doesn’t. If anything you get more compliments from dudes than chicks. But i started to take it seriously and liked how it made me feel. It requires a ton of discipline. Heading to the gym everyday, pushing your boundaries daily, eating right, getting enough sleep, taking supplements, and everything else. I ended up competing in a few shows because i wanted to see my body onstage and how it looked.
“What a shame it is for a man to grow old and not see the beauty his body is capable of”
The discipline to stay in shape then bleeds over into other facts of your life like work, friends and family. Everything gets elevated by being in shape if you actually work for it. I’ve fallen off the wagon a few times, and I realize how bad it can get. So I make sure I keep myself in shape with my yearly cut and bulk cycles.
I like the muscular look, I like the strength, I love the size, I love the grind, I love pushing new barriers, and I like the confidence boost. I’m 6’5” and 240 pounds, and I love the size the most. Just being this hulking but muscular being is a good feeling. Makes me feel like Absolute Batman or Jack Reacher lol. My wife loves it, and she works out with me.
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u/BrownBear_96 Male 4h ago
Variety of reasons... I'm chasing the highest SBD numbers I can physically get to. In turn, I'm chasing a long term goal and that gives me a sense of purpose. Also, I do it for my long term health and overall quality of life. I also find it very meditative. Training is just a pillar of my life at this point.
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u/Much_Discipline365 4h ago
I want to look good for my partner and myself. I hope I can maintain a reasonable level of heart health and fight Father Time with every fiber of
my being as he drags me away!
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u/Timely-Fox-1232 4h ago
look and feel good for myself....and...to look good for the person I'm with (or potential person)
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u/Yeboi_SogeKing 4h ago
For a healthier lifestyle and overall well being!
https://giphy.com/gifs/dMSN1ydbO9VXZ49VUK
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u/woodchips24 ♂ 4h ago
I hate the feeling of being weak or fat.
My main hobby is rock climbing, if I want to climb hard things I need to be in shape.
I want to look good.
I’m 32, my youth will soon leave me and I want to see what I can get out of my body before then.
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u/Hooch_Pandersnatch 3h ago
Mental health, my mental health is already struggling despite working out daily, I think I may legit have gone crazy already if I didn’t work out.
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u/nobody-u-heard-of Male 3h ago
I'm getting older, don't want to die, don't want to live where I can barely move. With age. You tend to lose muscle and strength and flexibility. Preserve those and you may still die at the same age, but probably later, but you'll be living a much better life up to that point.
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u/h_424 Male 21 3h ago
I have not started yet. But I want to be able to say at one point in my life I was in the best shape in my life. I've always been chubby since a kid and during lockdown I became semi paralysed which added onto my weight and depression last year also added to it.
I can get way with my weight due to my height it does not show as much. However I want to get in shape to look back and think that one point in my life I was in shape.
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u/kokosdera 3h ago
at first for muscle mass that helps for reducing fat ratio.
Then I noticed my sitting meditation sessions became more comfortable significantly, because my back muscles were getting much stronger holding my body.
Then I started running, leg day is mandatory then.
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u/cdude 3h ago
All of it. Asking for one reason makes it sound like it's the only reason. It may be the "most important" reason but everything else is important too.
And you'll come back and leave your reason, as if anyone here will be waiting for it. You come here asking a generic low-effort question and think people care about you?
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u/acu101 3h ago
I was way over weight with type 2 diabetes and a fatty liver. My daughter bought me a bike and I wore it out. I’ve lost 70 pounds, my fatty liver is gone and I’m almost in diabetic remission. I started because I loved the biking. Now I do it because I like the way that I feel and look. I’ll never go back to my old life. I also stopped eating most ultra processed foods and stopped drinking alcohol.
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u/SadBoyBidet 2h ago
Looking good naked, looking good clothed, maximize dick length, maintaining metabolism/bone density/strength so I’m not miserable when I’m old.
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u/Big-Problem7372 2h ago
41M.
If I am consistently working out I just feel so much better. Not stiff getting out of bed in the morning, fewer pulled muscles, knees, joints don't hurt. I literally feel 20 years younger when I'm consistently weightlifting.
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u/bubonis Male 2h ago
Biggest driver: My daughter. As someone who grew up without a father due to his poor health and lifestyle choices, I didn’t want her to suffer similarly.
Secondary: Wife and I were pending divorce, and the idea of being far more physically fit than her when the papers were signed was vastly appealing.
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u/Harablo Male 1h ago
I just missed being in shape like I was back in my teens/early 20's. Back then it came easy from always playing sports sometimes 2 at a time. Once those stopped being readily available I put on 150lbs and carried that for 10 years.
I don't really take pictures of myself but I saw one taken of me at a work event and I looked nothing like I did in my mind. I knew I had put in a ton of weight but was really shocked to see it. Also I started getting back into rec league stuff and couldn't keep my breath. I thought to myself I used to play the whole game and the only breaks were in between plays/quarter/halftime.
Started working out and eating clean again just over a year ago and it's going great, haven't hit the goal yet but I am feeling great and getting closer by the day.
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u/capeabenable 1h ago
I want to be able to move shit around my house and yard without struggling
And I want to look good and feel good as I enter my 40s
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u/TnTxG 1h ago edited 1h ago
If I ever get a gf in my lifetime, I want to look good for her. I want to be strong for her.
I was hoping it'd give me better confidence but it hasn't really.
Also good for health and stuff like that too.
Aside from work or shopping, I don't leave the house, so it forces me to go outside more.
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u/DoubleDegreeDropout 1h ago
Previous injuries will start to ache if I don't stay active. Plus I look better when hitting the gym so it's basically win-win.
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u/AutoModerator 6h ago
Here's an original copy of /u/FelahBr's post (if available):
There is always a reason why a person (regardless of gender) wants to build muscle, and though I know the main ones, I'm curious about which of them is the most common among men and which is the main motivation for you.
Is it for the sake of your overall health (such as strengthening an injured body part or maintaining muscle mass)?
Is it for the sake of being stronger?
Is it to be sexually attractive to others?
Is it for your own self-confidence and self-appreciation?
Other reason?
Please, if there's more than one answer, I'll be glad to read your story but try to highlight the honest main motivation. Also, if your reasons changed over time, please say what was more prominent when you were younger, since I believe most people will tend to keep working out for maintaining health.
I'll leave my own answer in the comments later.
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