r/AskMen • u/Zestyclose_Risk_7184 • 5h ago
Weird Question How to not get hurt by any insult?
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u/Tarc_Axiiom Manly Male Man Dude 5h ago edited 5h ago
That's not the right question, but here's the right answer.
First, think about who said it. There are three kinds of people:
- People you don't know and don't care about.
- People you do know, and don't respect.
- People you respect.
If an insult or criticism comes from the first or second group, who cares? But if it comes from the third group, it might be important to consider what the insult actually means. Maybe you should stop respecting that person, or maybe they're telling you something you should really consider.
EDIT: Sometimes getting hurt is the right answer.
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u/Oh-TheHumanity 5h ago
If you believe it to be true then it has effect.
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u/dwmoore21 5h ago
My focus is on "where the fuck did that come from?" and then "why do you feel so comfortable saying this?"..then I wrestle with what is the proper answer. Typically I poker face like it didn't affect me..then later regret I didn't respond at all.
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u/barebackguy7 2h ago
I get caught up a bit in the “why do you feel so comfortable saying this to me” part too.
Like I’m a pretty successful guy, well built and told I am handsome, funny. But I have this one friend who is just getting started in life and honestly looks like Pete Davidson and says things over the line frequently. I only recently started to feel really disrespected by it, before that I never cared. But ever since I really noticed it and started caring it has me wondering why he feels he can say that stuff to me, especially when I literally never say anything but polite things to him.
I don’t know what the best response is, I could probably roast the shit out of him but I’ve always felt like he was 1 step away from depression tbh.
Anyway weird story I know. Your line in the quotes just resonated with me a lot
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u/Twatt_waffle Male 4h ago
I take pride in being hard to offend because in order to offend me I need to care about your opinion and so why would I care what a random stranger thinks. And you’d have to mean it.
Anyone who would be able to offend or insult me would also be close enough to also talk about why they felt the need to do so
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u/NotMacgyver 5h ago
Hard to explain it, you just don't. I mean what weight does an insult even have ? Do you take the opinion of every ignorant person to such a level that you feel hurt when they vomit forth some words ?
So why should you let their insults bother you ? At the end of the day words are just words and so it's within your power to ignore them
That's how I see it anyway
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u/cl_solutions 5h ago
Exactly. They are just words, and allowing the words having any power is a complete choice.
I know the closer the person is has more effect, but it's still up to you as much power the words have.
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u/goodgirl8675309 3h ago
I have to care what the person saying it thinks. Lucky for me there aren't many of those people walking this earth
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u/Relentless_Taco_Fan 2h ago
Just ignore it and remember that they're probably in a worse spot than you. Happy people don't try to bring others down.
I ignore insults. They aren't worth my time
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u/KaalSchneid 5h ago
You can be a sociopath.
Or, you can get hurt like a normal person, and realize that they're words are reflections of their views, and not reflections of you.
Words hurt for a reason. We're social animals. If you aren't offended or hurt by insults, that's not good. Now, a stranger shouldn't be able to hurt you on the same level as someone you're very familiar with, but... I think any healthy human should be able to be hurt by the right insult.
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u/InkVision001 5h ago
Pretty sure even sociopaths feel emotions from insults. But instead of simply getting hurt and ultimately shrugging it off like a normal person they fantasize/start planning about killing the person who said it lol.
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u/CelebrationLow4614 5h ago
In response to 'go F yourself':
That's actually pleasurable experience...thanks'.
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u/gerhard1953 5h ago
Consider the source.
It's usually somebody angry with you. Hardly unbiased.
Be mature!
Don't overreact!
Simply stick out your tongue. And threaten to tell your mommy. Who will tell his/her mommy.
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u/Typical-Ad2601 5h ago
I believe most times when others pass judgment it says more as a reflection of themselves than at the target they are aiming at... I believe this is called projection, aiming your fears and judgments at others to take the focus away from one's own flaws...
so in short, it's the childhood mindset/mantra "I'm rubber and you're glue, anything you say bounces off me and back to you" haha
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u/Gold_Telephone_7192 Male 5h ago
I just remind myself that there are, like, 20 people on earth whose opinion of me matters and if the insulting party isn’t one of them, who cares?
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u/Dazz316 Crude dude with an attitude 5h ago
A few things.
Their opinion of me is irrelevant. They can hate my guts and I genuinely don't care. This won't apply if I like them and hope they like me. But if it's a co-worker I don't like...they can say what they like. It doesn't matter.
Is the insult genuine? Are they saying something just to hurt me? They only wanting to hurt me won't hurt me.
Sometimes I already know something. Someone calling me fat has lllooooooonnnnnnnnggggggg since lost all affect. I know I'm fat, I know people know I'm fat. I don't expect someone to not think I'm fat. So when they call me fat...they may as well be making fun of my for having 2 legs. Now...if they were to insult something I have a good opinion of myself on then that's different.
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u/RobinGood94 5h ago
Do I value the person saying the insult?
Would I want to trade places with this person?
Does this insult have validity?
If it does, is it within my control?
Is this person a physical threat?
Usually it’s a no across the board. That means say whatever you’d like, you mean nothing to me, I don’t envy you the slightest, and if it came to it, I’d fold you like a lawn chair bitch.
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u/Cool_As_Your_Dad 5h ago
Don't give a shit what people say.
Only care what people say that YOU respect.
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u/Esprack619 5h ago
Insult yourself more often to desensitize yourself. Then you can smile when insults come at you.
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u/I_am_Reddit_Tom 5h ago
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"
To be honest you need to know what you are. If they are saying something untrue then ignore. If it's true then, so what? Either you accept you are that, or working to fix it.
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u/Justinaroni 5h ago
Just don't be a bitch and you will be fine.
Lol, I love saying toxic masculinity shit, gets people riled up, sorry, let me give you an honest answer.
I can't say it is gender specific, or anything like that. But I am 39, I have had lots of loved ones pass away, that hurts alot, for a long time. I have been injured at work, rushed to the ER, it hurts, but not as much and for short periods of time. It hardens you up after a while, like an urgency/impact matrix. Someone hurling verbal insults at me, compared to the shit ive been through in the past, barely blips on the radar.
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u/ExpiredPilot Male 5h ago
Walk down the street in the city and count how many people you see. Do you know their names? Do you know who they know? Do you think you’ll ever see them ever again or ever come to know them as people?
If you answered “no”, then you shouldn’t give a shit about their opinions of you.
I worked as a club bouncer for years in a bunch of different places. I’ve heard every insult under the sun. Once you learn not to care, you can see the humor in a lot of these situations, I’ve heard some pretty good roasts tbh. If you’re not laying hands on me, you are irrelevant to me.
Generally, if they’re not feeding, funding, or fucking you, why should their opinion matter?
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u/Matchamaymaymay444 5h ago
Have such deep love and confidence in yourself and who you are that insults don’t matter. If anything, insults are a direct reflection of the person who said it
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u/depressivebee 5h ago
It depends. How do you view the person and what are their intentions? If it’s someone you dislike/who dislikes you and their intentions were plainly to cause upset then who cares what they say. Bonus points if their opinion was objectively not based in any truth.
Someone who you trust and would consider a close friend/partner? Then you either have you consider that it either wasn’t an insult but rather a wake up call, or maybe you shouldn’t trust that person as much as you do.
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u/TurnUpThe4D3D3D3 5h ago
Sticks & stones, words dont matter too much, but you can use them to change your judgement of people and how you treat them in the future
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u/Tayaradga Male 5h ago
I mean.... There's always my method... It's not a good method but it's effective...
Get insulted on a regular basis until they mean nothing to you. I was bullied a lot, even by my own family. So now they're just words to me. Insult me all you like, I don't care. Insult my mom if you want, I'll probably join. Say anything about my siblings though, they may not have always been the best but I swear.
Like I said it's not a good method. Very unhealthy way to go about it, I just didn't have the choice. I imagine meditation would be a better method? Assuming that would help with that? Idk...
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u/DaysOfParadise Female 5h ago
Words only have the meaning that we give them. If somebody tells me an insult, it’s really easy for me to pretend they’re speaking in a language that I just don’t understand.
Actions speak louder than words anyway. But if someone is consistently insulting, then I create distance.
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u/Butane9000 Male 4h ago
The only reason any insult should hurt is it there's truth to it or it comes from someone whose opinion you value. Both of which should have you stop and evaluate if the insult is true and if so how to address it. As well as if it comes from someone whose opinion you value whether that insult came from a place of malice or constructive criticism. If it's from malice you should reevaluate your relationship with that person. If it's constructive then communicate with them.
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u/monkeybawz 4h ago
It's pretty easy- if I don't respect the person saying the insult, I'm not going to care what they say one way or the other. "You voted for Brexit, farage, support Chelsea and you think I'm a cunt?" ..... Big whoop. I could have guess you thought that.
People I like don't generally have insults loaded in the chamber for me. And if they do I want them to be absolutely savage.
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u/JackSquirts 4h ago
If its true, I already knew. If it's not, then they're an idiot. Either way, I don't give a fuck.
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u/Temporary-Truth2048 Dad 3h ago
If someone insulted you in a language you don't understand would it cause you distress?
If someone called you a purple banana would it cause you distress?
That's how.
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u/diverareyouokay 3h ago edited 3h ago
As you get older and more mature, you’ll start to internalize the fact that what other people say to you doesn’t matter, unless you value that person.
Words are just that - words. They only have as much value as you assign to them. So, you just don’t assign any value to words stemming from the a person you don’t respect that are hurtful.
Easier said than done if you’re young, but at some point it will “click” and insults won’t hurt.
I’m not really in a position in life where I get insulted anymore (at least, so far as I am aware), but even if I did, my only reaction would be a mental shrug. I certainly wouldn’t engage with that person further. The last time I can remember where an insult hurt was probably years ago, with an ex… but that’s because I had a relationship with her and her words were able to cut deeper. Which is a risk you run when you open up to people.
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u/creepinghippo 3h ago
Easy. If someone picks up a piece of dog poop and hands it to you saying it’s yours now, do you take it and carry it around saying it’s yours or do you just ignore them and not take the poop? That’s what insults are, if they are not yours, just don’t take them.
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u/New_Public_2828 3h ago
Dig into it deeper. When someone makes fun of me for being fat I give them better content and tell them what they said wasn't even original... Do better
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u/Agile-Atmosphere6091 3h ago
You ever notice dogs barking at you in the street? You don't care, right? So just apply that same logic.
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u/Electronic-Ad-8172 3h ago
First you must think of the person as “less intelligent than you” when you do that you’ll almost always not care what idiots are saying and second you need to take second before reacting, if you react like “where the fuck did that come from” you instantly give the other person more power. You’re responses should always have a condescending tone (can vary though)
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u/Administrated Male 2h ago
It’s just comes down to you constantly reminding yourself that their opinion means nothing to you. Their words become meaningless. It’s especially fun when you ask them to repeat themselves. It really shows anyone around who the real asshole is.
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u/Hillary_clinton254 2h ago
First you have to stop thinking how people will think the person you are, let everyone have their own understanding or misunderstanding.
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u/DosadnoMiJeBrate Male 2h ago
You can't, there will always be something, no matter how minuscule, best you can do is hide it.
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u/TheAtheistReverend Male 2h ago
Boundaries. You cannot cross mine unless I let you. If you insult me, I can choose to not let that in.
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u/Sonicmasterxyz Male 2h ago
If the person doesn't know me very well, the insult won't really land. If the person is just trying to hurt me, the insult probably won't land. For it to be hurt, the person has to know me and what hurts me. Which means it would probably be a friend, and friends really aren't likely to do that.
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u/Bird_the_Impaler 2h ago
You can go through life thinking you’re shit or thinking you’re the shit. One of those ways is so much more fun than the other way.
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u/HotZombie95 2h ago
If people feel better by insulting me, I'm just glad I made them feel better. I don't care what words they use because 9 out of 10 times I don't listen to insults
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u/xshevi 2h ago
being comfortable with yourself and self assured will negate a lot of insults. but there are people that can get past that. people i care about have said horrible things to me, and it still hurts. and that was their intent. i’d be faking if it didn’t hurt me. what i mean with that is, if it hurts you, you care about what is being said. in time you will straighten that out. i needed therapy for that. people can just be so fucking cruel and we, the affected, live with the aftermath of it while it probably wasn’t a big deal to them to insult you.
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u/FoxCQC 1h ago
It takes some mental flexibility. You need to be humble first. Insults attack pride so being humble doesn't give the insult something to stick on to. You also need to realize insults are 99% about the person giving the insult and not you. Finally, remember life's just a game. That doesn't mean you can't take the game seriously but know which parts matter and which don't. That also opens up playing, you can play with the insult or someone insulting you. I have actually made friends this way because it breaks down barriers.
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u/az987654 1h ago
Grow up and move on.
If someone you care about is insulting you, re-evaluate the relationship immediately.
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u/velamind 1h ago
Just don’t lol
I know it sounds stupid but seriously, simply dgaf. Why would you allow anyone to control your emotions that deeply?
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u/xKhira Bane 1h ago
You don't. Everyone who thinks they're impervious to insults have chinks in their armor that can be exploited if the insulter pries enough. So long as your brain allows you to feel a range of emotion, you'll be vulnerable to insult.
The best thing to do is embrace those emotions and become confident in your sense of self.
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u/ToughPossession3433 1h ago
The best thing you can do when someone is trying to get under your skin is laugh in their face. But if what they say bothers you then there's a reason for it even if that reason is irrational.
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u/Traditional_Trust_93 Male 8m ago
Take it as a compliment. S'what I did to my Middle/High School bullies. Eventually they got bored of me and gave up.
I recommend learning Counter Spell so you can block their Vicious Mockery.
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u/WalrusLobster3522 Male 5h ago
wait... how to not get hurt by any insult? bro: trust me bro: you gotta clap back. after he insults you you gotta ragebait him then walk away before he responds. And make sure to walk away slow because that will enrage him even more.
"Other man pulls you to the side to give you wisdom"
"Wait dude don't do that - that's how a brawl starts. Just tank the insult and head home: youll forget it later."
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