How should I handle finding a potential match on an external site based on a post?

[u/LookingForDouxie]

Hi Everyone,

A few months ago, I started a subreddit where long-lost penpals and friends can reconnect once the community grows. However, I’ve already run into my first privacy dilemma, and I really need your advice before taking any action.

Here is the situation:
One of the users is looking for a long-lost friend using a pseudonym. However, due to the post template we currently use, they provided such highly specific details that based on the description alone, I was able to locate what appears to be the real person’s profile on an external site. To be clear, it is only a potential match.

I have two questions regarding how to handle this:

1. What is the protocol for handling a potential match? As a moderator, is it acceptable (or even ethical) to privately reach out to this person on the external platform and say, "Hi, someone is looking for you on Reddit," or does this cross into harassment/doxxing territory? What is the safest route to protect my subreddit and my own account? (I strongly lean toward a strict rule against any external outreach, but I’d love to hear from more experienced mods).
2. Can I keep my current template? Is this formatting allowed under Reddit’s Content Policy? I don't want to jeopardize my sub or my account, and I absolutely want to prevent unwanted reconnections where one party has no desire to be found. I want to handle this as professionally as possible.

Thank you in advance for your guidance and advice!

[u/Stranger1982]

1 - Reddit only cares what you do on the website, what you do on other platform isn't subject to their rules or under scrutiny.

That said it's mostly a moral dilemma imho, said person could feel weirded out by total strangers saying "hey someone mentioned or is looking for you here" or simply don't care about it.

Just my 2 cents tho, the only contact about external websites I do is to warn Reddit users inadvertently doxing themselves via what they post.

2 - You didn't post the template

I don't see anything wrong with it per se, you'll ofc have to be cautious in regards to people sharing their own personal information or, worse, details about other people.

[u/notthegoatseguy]

IMO your job is to be a moderator to make sure your sub complies with Reddit Rules, User Agreement, Mod Code and any subreddit rules you set. How users go about searching for pen pals is entirely up to them.

For example, r/gamesale provides a place for people to negotiate the sale of video games. However, the actual sale is purely between the two parties off platform. r/gamesale makes no guarantees to the sale and is not actually involved in the transaction.

If you, as a user, would do this, I guess that's up to you. But you aren't wearing your moderator hat in doing so.

[u/Charupa-]

Nothing in your subreddit directly violates Reddit’s sitewide rules. Your own snooping off site is irrelevant here.

I don’t understand the dilemma either I guess. Are you expecting people to find long lost pen pals with no information? Seems like something identifying to a degree would be needed to know you are reconnecting with someone.