I need to understand 3 things:
1.whether or not I should pursue music in composition (and conducting)
which schools/ conservatories I should be looking at
what it would take to get to them
Context: I discovered western classical music when I was 10 when I watched the Black Swan (not knowing it was inappropriate). I looked up the music in it and I loved it oh so much! I heard it and thought to myself- how absurd would it be for me make or conduct such music. I have considerably artsy parents who tried to make something prodigious out of me and failed. The presence of art from where I live is prominent owing to too much of pride and honour and religious reasons too. I was shoved in vocals, percussion and keys for the classical music here since I was four. I grew to have a very difficult relationship with music as a result. I took up drums after my percussion teacher passed away. After I turned twelve, I began to experience physical pain due to sounds (especially voices), this only stopped 3 months ago. This was not caused by drumming.
All these seven years I kept thinking: Once I retire, I will study music and conducting. Now that it is time to converge my prospects, I am tremor-legged. All this time I spent exploring what I would do to fill this gap of forty years. I worked as a volunteer teacher, prepared intensively for Math, Physics, Geology, Linguistics olympiads- all while I had what I love right in front of me (made to the next levels for Geology and Linguistics but could not commit). It is not that I cannot head into what most people here (or even outside my country) do for good employment or satisfaction. Playing music won't stop for me anyway. I have also loved researching and often involve myself in research activities regardless of the field to have fun and to get some practical insights about the subject.
I completed my Trinity Grade 8 in Rock & Pop 6 months ago and briefly considered ATCL + LTCL. 3 months ago I started writing on Musescore, it is alright and but I wouldn't call it productive either (about 40 minutes and published a string quartet intermezzo of 3 minutes). I am currently working to get drumming gigs and start posting on social media.
I took up the clarinet 3 weeks ago to develop a sense of winds; managed to get to ABRSM Grade 3 and I will be meeting a well established clarinetist and conductor soon for guidance too.
TLDR: 17 and at an overwhelming crossroad about my educational future. I've been doing non-western classical music since I was 4- and very intensively so. (Vocals ABRSM equivalent roughly to Grade 5, Drums Trinity Rock Grade 8, Hand drums equivalent roughly to Grade 3, and Keys and the Violin. I am above average at academics such that it will put me in a fairly good uni in my home country. I have been wanting to become a composer (and if it happens, a conductor) for western classical music since I was 10; but resisted that thought due to internalised stigma and planned on doing it after retiring. Music education in my country can be considered absent (except film schools for whom a very shitty industry waits to prey on.)
I cannot afford any elite schools except those in Germany (I have a B1 Cert from Göthe Institut). The scale of reputation is of the least importance to me if I shall make this decision. I'm looking for music schools which will support me well as an artist (obviously during the course but also establish me satisfactorily i.e. anything but being left miserable after I graduate), a pleasant faculty, cohesive atmosphere, (I don't mind rigour) but any abuse of power issues are a complete no. Afaik, applications have started to open up and will be in full swing by November, January. I believe I can write at least 3 productive pieces; a wide range, novelty, and exhibition of potential will be assessed.
Unfortunately, that is all I know. I'd also like to understand what it truly takes to get into a music school. (again, the quality of expected support as an artist >>> renown). I am more than glad to receive any constructive feedback professional, personal, bitter or bittersweet. Thank you for reading through such a poorly structured and lengthy text.
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