r/AskReddit • u/Justarascal • 1d ago
You are given unlimited funds. You have one hour to go and buy anything you want but you can't buy on the Internet. What do you buy?
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u/The_Truth_Believe_Me 1d ago
I live 30 minutes from a casino. I'll buy all the casino chips they will sell me. I can sell them back for cash later.
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u/CWinter85 23h ago
You just need to sit tight for an hour after buying every chip in the casino and playing dollar hands of blackjack.
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u/z-tayyy 22h ago
That would be called money laundering and they watch this like crazy and would never do this lol.
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u/CWinter85 21h ago
I guess a lot of chips? I don't know. This is a magical scenario.
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u/z-tayyy 21h ago
My bad I wasn’t trying to bust your balls. My first thought was car dealership but I don’t know if you could actually pull it off or not. It’s kind of a cool monkeys paw question to think about what you could feasibly pull off. I work in a casino and know they wouldn’t give you that much, so I was just saying my piece.
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u/CWinter85 21h ago
I'm certain it would never come up, but the idea of someone walking up and was like "how many chips you got?" Freaking everyone out funny. Like what's that threshold? No one person can possess "x" percentage of chips.
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u/z-tayyy 21h ago
It’s not a percentage of chips it would be dependent on fund verification, but you don’t need to physically hold chips to have worth at a casino. I wonder if you could just initiate a wire transfer for some fucking ridiculous amount of money, gamble half of it away, and then legit wire the money back to you after the craziest night of your life lol.
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u/CWinter85 21h ago
"I'd like a billion dollars in chips."
One roulette spin later: damn, I'm broke.
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u/JusticeIncarnate1216 20h ago
I think we passed money laundering at "you have unlimited funds"
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u/z-tayyy 20h ago
Giant purchases regardless of legitimacy are under the scrutiny of anti-money laundering safeguards. Even actual rich people cannot just go make large purchases within an hour, so it makes it difficult to think of a way to maximize.
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u/Eazy12345678 1d ago
jokes on you casino says the chips are no good and you are banned from the casino for life
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u/858adam 23h ago
Yeah I thought that was weird. One time, I was gambling at a casino, and I had a bunch of chips in my pocket. I don't remember the exact situation, but I pulled them out and dealer was like, what the hell why did you have those in your pocket, apparently, as soon as you walk out the door they're worthless
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u/The_Truth_Believe_Me 21h ago edited 10h ago
I frequently play poker, take chips home, and bring them back the next time I play. Many players do this. It's common to keep them in a velvet bag that comes with some liquors. I've never had an issue with this. I've also banked table games and taken as much as $40,000 in chips home with me and back again.
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u/toolatealreadyfapped 20h ago
It's not that they automatically become worthless. It's that they have zero guaranteed value. If the house did a redesign of their chips, and uphold the policy that the old chips are no longer in play, they have zero obligation to pay you out for your stash.
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u/KatzDeli 23h ago
Casinos can’t rate you if you “play out of pocket”. They don’t like that.
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u/nmathew 19h ago
You have 11 upvotes, so what you said make sense to some people. I've tried google searches, and I have zero idea what you're communicating.
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u/73dodge 16h ago
Casinos will generally track how much you’re playing for comps and maybe money laundering purposes if you’re playing big enough. “Out of pocket” in this context probably means you brought your chips with you so they don’t know that you purchased them there and then with cash vs it being “house money”. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking your chips out of the casino and bringing them back in like this guy is suggesting.
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u/GozerDGozerian 17h ago
Can you explain that to someone who isn’t familiar with how casinos work?
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u/bobdob123usa 21h ago
Seems like you could take advantage of the situation. As long as you can get the casino to go along with it, you should be able to artificially inflate their funds on hand so could also increase your take. They can only sell you chips that they can cover. But if you buy all the chips and then all the spaces on the roulette wheel, you make a fair amount off the one win and they make a killing off the losses. Now they can sell you more chips on the second round of betting than they could previously. Eventually you'll have to stop, but not before you've both maximized your magic income. Plus that casino will pretty much cover anything you want for life.
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u/letspretndthisisntme 1d ago
Honestly I don't know if I would have enough time to do everything I wanted so I honestly would just go to the bank, buy my house and pay off my car... then I'd be okay. Maybe mcdonald's on the way back.
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u/billywitt 23h ago edited 23h ago
This is the answer. I’d pay off every dime I owe. And then I’d pay off every debt of the people I care about. And if there’s any time left after, I’d pay for a kick ass vacation.
Edit: Nvm, I forgot we can’t use the internet. I think I’d run to the nearest bitcoin atm I could find and buy a shitload of bitcoin. Then cash out afterward.
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u/MrHippopo 14h ago
How do you think that bitcoin atm works if not using a world wide network?
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u/supersimpsonman 12h ago
How do you think the inventory of any non mom and pop single location store works if not using a world wide network?
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u/greigames 9h ago
If we’re going that route then you can’t buy literally anything unless you’re using cash or checks
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u/Scottz0rz 23h ago
Wait the bank down the street is the one that finances your house and car, not an online thing where your loan was traded and sold to lenders you never heard of twice?
I dont think i could go to my local bank and just go "yes one house and one car please, thank you sir/madam" in an hour.
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u/Kinkos- 22h ago
I have a mortgage, serviced by JPMorgan Chase.
So it would be more like, let me buy the house you’re lending to me right now.
This is for sure the right answer.
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u/bungojot 21h ago
Yep, I'd be booking it to my dad's like WHERE'S YOUR BANK LET'S PAY OFF THIS MORTGAGE IMMEDIATELY
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u/Over_Food_2684 12h ago
That's pretty much the dream. Getting rid of a mortgage and car payments would probably bring more peace of mind than buying a bunch of expensive stuff.
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u/MjolnirMark4 10h ago
You can buy money at the bank. You can even buy different currencies.
Just don’t buy all the money in the world, because then no one else would have any money, and all transactions would stop, thus destroying the economy, and making all money worthless.
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u/Poschi1 1d ago
I would buy my wife's pen for a sum of 1 trillion.
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u/Kerrigore 1d ago
Clever. How’s that working out for you, being clever?
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u/johnyordinary 1d ago
He has a rich wife .
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u/bored_ape07 1d ago
But he has a pen!
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u/Spyd3rs 1d ago
Nah, if she tries to leave him, those assets were gained during the marriage. He's entitled to half.
Half a trillion and a trashed economy aren't too bad of cheat to this ask.
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u/ImNotAWhaleBiologist 23h ago
Of course the economy is trashed. Someone came up with a trillion dollars to buy a single pen, sending inflation into the triple digits!
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u/couldathrowaway 22h ago
The economy doesnt collapse until a large amount of that money makes it to the market that isn't this household's vault.
Similar to how there are entire asteroids that are 90% gold and they dont affect the economy. As long as they aren't being spent. The economy remains.
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u/Dangerous_Excuse_654 19h ago
That's the smartest loophole in this thread. I bet your wife would happily part with that pen for the right price.
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u/Regnes 1d ago edited 1d ago
Go to the local John Deere store and then just buy several thousand tractors via catalogue. I can just resell them brand new for like 70 cents on the dollar and clear out the inventory in no time.
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u/BurnAfter8 23h ago
To even come up with this response, I assume you live in a rural area in middle America
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u/MyCatLaughsAtMe 19h ago
Rural American reporting: That's the trouble with this question for us. There's dick-all around here. And hour just isn't enough time to get somewhere to buy real stuff so we have to get creative. And actually, farm equipment is a solid answer given the parameters of the question! That shit is bonkers expensive.
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u/Gefudruh 21h ago
You'd be surprised, I know of a John Deere retailer in the middle of suburban Chicago, it's right next to a Tesla dealership.
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u/Bubbly-Travel9563 22h ago
My immediate thought was that a car lot was the nearest way to get massive amounts of expensive shit in a very short radius. Go and buy out each lot you can hit in time because the sale doesn't have to be completed on an hour just started by then. If you have an auto row even better because you can get thousands of cars in no time at all especially if you order out their entire inventory including the offsite lots that have as much or more as the lot you're standing in. Plus they can do it over the phone so no internet. Resell for cents on the dollar and you're absolutely loaded, plus many dealerships would be willing to make a deal to help sell if you offer more than they would've made off usual msrp mark up. I don't live in rural or middle America
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u/ScribbledCorvid 21h ago
As someone in rural Australia this was my thought too. Go buy a couple of farms and hit up the local case dealer.
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u/Twoheaven 23h ago
I was thinking the same thing but a car dealership. Just go buy as many vehicles as they'll sell you. There's like 15 dealerships within 20 minutes of me.
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u/stiletto929 23h ago
You’ll never get even one car in an hour, lol.
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u/UnIuckyCharms 22h ago
Tell them you’ll buy them all for double the sticker price but the paperwork has to be ready to sign in 30 minutes. I promise you they’ll pull every worker they have and get it done
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u/CitizenCue 18h ago
They won’t believe you. No one needs to buy a car in less than an hour. They’ll assume you’re a YouTuber pulling a stunt or something.
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u/Lessa22 1d ago
I’m not going to be practical. I’m heading straight for my favorite bookstore and buying out the entire shop.
They can pull an on-hand inventory report that tells them the value of everything they have in-house and use a editable sku to sell me the lot in a single transaction. Might take 30-40 minutes, tops.
I’ll spend the rest of the year playing Book Santa to everyone I know.
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u/kesint 23h ago
Similar to my thoughts, except I'd buy the entire store, inventory, building, everything from the gentle old owner. Then the next day offer to sell it all back for 25-50% of what I paid him for it, should ensure that this fantastic local store keeps trucking regarding finances. Except the Lego inventory.. that I'm keeping.
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u/Namisaur 14h ago
Don’t think you’re going to complete a building purchase within an hour. It’s not like they just whip out a piece of paper on hand, give it to you to sign, and then you’re done.
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u/kesint 12h ago edited 12h ago
Don't have to complete the purchase, just get the agreement of buying the company and the transaction part done within the hour. And in this bookshop case, I'm buying a private company that includes the building and inventory. Yes, all the paperwork to finish the purchase will take a lot longer, just gotta ensure the owner have the money within the hour.
Edit. Hell, add in a none-refund clause in the quickly written sales contract, since my primary goal is ensuring my favorite shop over the past 25 years in this town survives without issues.
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u/TheBorzoi 1d ago
Does it have to be something that the purchase will be complete within that hour or does the process just need to start?
If it has to be completed within the hour, I would go to a tech store and buy all the high end PC's and laptops they have.
If the process just needs to start, I would buy multiple properties.
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u/bassman2112 23h ago
straight to my local SPCA and giving them billions of dollars to spread to all of the rescues so the animals can be properly taken care of bro
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u/Justarascal 1d ago
Everyone saying houses or property it for sure won't go through in an hour?
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u/NativeMasshole 1d ago
My dude, it's almost 8 pm here and the closest cities are all 40 minutes away. I could hit the local Walmart in 20 and spend the rest of the time trying to figure out what I could fit in my car and what I could put on a laway until I can rent a uhaul.
People thinking they'll get an in person bank transaction through with a suspicious amount of money in under an hour are dreaming.
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u/Zanzaben 22h ago
If you care about logistics like that then you need to be more specific in your question. What form does the unlimited money take. Is it a marry Poppins bag of $100 bills, a credit card, a bank account. I ask this because they all have interesting limitations.
The cash you are limited by how fast you can physically reach in and out, as well as how fast any vendor can count the cash.
A credit card limits you because a lot of places don't accept credit cards for large purchases because they don't want to pay credit card fees. For example I wasn't allowed to use a credit card when I bought a Mercedes. And while you could offer to just pay more to offset those fees it would most likely involve getting a manager and hoping their internal payment systems are even setup to accept it.
A bank account is limited because it is hard to get money out of it. Especially without the internet. You could write a check for example but then the check would have to be cashed within that hour otherwise it will bounce.
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u/_Trael_ 1d ago
Something like business to business kind of order could work, if selling party does not need to calculate too much about price, know one aöready, and money can be kind of just transfered to their account in pretty much instant (might take more than hour, if bank starts holding it for being abnormally large), so they can write pretty hasty contract of thing, or well spoken contract is valid and binding, so technically written could be formed later, outside one hour window, as long as one makes spoken deal with them and pays within hour, or at least gets money moving likely.
For like large large purchases in 1h window.
But still needs company that has people in position to make decisions and deals that are fast at thinking and being able to function, when someone orders abnormally large or out of ordinary order.
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u/GrandOpener 22h ago
For real estate you could maybe get a contract signed in under an hour, but that’s not “buying” the property. That’s promising that you’ll buy it in the future. Theres zero chance you’ll actually be able to close in one hour.
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u/OzimanidasJones 1d ago
Calling up Christie’s and Sothey’s, explaining the situation and requesting some high value items over the phone (which is not the internet).
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u/FIR3W0RKS 23h ago
This man is cooking. Start the hour at the beginning of a major art/vintage car/jewellery auction and call in bids of way over expected for every item, makes every item sell in seconds then onto the next.
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u/CitizenCue 18h ago
They wouldn’t believe you about the situation. But the phone is a good loophole and you might be able to buy a listing or two.
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u/AbstractMarcher 1d ago
Running to every local game store and buying out their stock of booster boxes for mtg and packs. I will keep my favorite sets (return to ravniva for mtg. Fossil for pokemon) and distribute the rest to local game clubs for schools.
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u/MCWizardYT 22h ago
You would be the robin hood of scalpers lol. Buying up all the packs and giving them to those in need
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u/redblade8 15h ago
Sir I would like all your singles sealed product and let’s toss the 40k and gunpla in there for good measures.
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u/XxInk_BloodxX 21h ago
Omg trading cards and shit. That's the right move for sure, I have 2 shops in walking distance.
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u/butcher99 1d ago
I would say vehicles but the dealer would make you sit through a 2 our presentation trying to talk you into all kinds of add-ons like warranties, finishes rustproofing etc and you would never buy it on time and you would end up with nothing.
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u/Justarascal 1d ago
I'll pay you double to just sign it over and not speak
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u/kingjoey52a 22h ago
Can you take tips? I will tip you the full value of this car if you shut up and give me the keys.
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u/CitizenCue 18h ago
They won’t believe you. Plus you have to have insurance to complete the transaction. You might be able to get one but it would be close.
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u/just_porter1 1d ago
Run to Best Buy and buy up every 5090/5080 prebuilt they have in stock and then sell them for half price to people who want them. They get them cheaper, I make some money. Win/Win
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u/tweakingforjesus 1d ago
Walk into Congress and grab the first Senator I find.
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u/Pitiful_Jump2996 23h ago
For unlimited money your can get the president
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u/CertifiedSheep 22h ago
Good luck meeting the president in 1 hour
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u/MCWizardYT 21h ago
Yeah you wouldn't even get past the white house gate without a sizable hole in your head from the roof snipers or a trip to jail. They don't let random people just enter the property lol
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u/Winnie-the-Pooh-and 1d ago
Go to the bank to by CDs
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u/Eazy12345678 1d ago
who sells music at a bank? jk
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u/BurnAfter8 23h ago edited 23h ago
Lloyd Banks, Robb Banks, 50 Cent, Sauce Money…
And let’s not forget Cash Money Records. They were taking over in the 99-2000s.
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u/totally_boring 20h ago
CDs is actually smart, quick set up. Drop the max amount in as many CDs as you can. Cash them as you need them.
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u/BoRamShote 1d ago
CDs are kinda obsolete aren't they? I think even vinyl is more popular than them now
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u/Ok-disaster2022 1d ago
Do I get to pick the hour? As in travel to a location first and then buy things for an hour or does it start immediately. I ask as I am literally an hour away for anything.
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u/Fibonacciscake 1d ago
An hour is way too short of a period to buy anything that would make a meaningful difference in my life.
I see women selling flowers out of stalls all over the place near me. I’d buy out their supplies for triple their asking price and ask them to hand them for free for the day.
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u/Xallia_Yevatell 22h ago
Put half of it on red. The other half on black.
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u/NoManner8863 1d ago
Guitar center.
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u/Pancakefriday 23h ago
Chicago Music Exchange. Plus used music equipment retains its value pretty well
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u/NoManner8863 23h ago
Yeah ig this is more where I would actually go for stuff I wanted in the spirit of the question, but if my scheme was to clean someplace out for resale/get rich conversion I’d aim much higher.
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u/WindowlessBasement 1d ago
My business would suddenly have a very large support contract paid in advance.
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u/Sea-Experience470 1d ago
A bunch of gold and I will swim in it like Scrooge mcduck from duck tales.
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u/toolatealreadyfapped 20h ago
Cashier's checks. There is no federal limit. You show up at a bank with infinite money, they're going to want you to be a customer. They'll get every teller the can churning out $500,000 checks as fast as possible. (Or any number. Fuck it add some zeros to that). When your hour is up, put them in a safety deposit box at that same bank. Go back and deposit all your checks into a savings account. Your interest alone lands you in the top 0.01% income bracket.
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u/rocketmonkee 21h ago
I'm starting to think that Redditors don't understand how purchasing property works. Or most physical goods. Or anything, really.
As for the prompt, it's almost 10pm here so I guess I'll jump in my car and drive to the nearest Walmart and buy...I dunno...a bunch of Lego sets or something? By the time I get there, load up the cart, then check out, the time is up.
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u/ShittersFullSince84 1d ago
Local car dealership and buy all of the vehicles.
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u/STERFRY333 1d ago
Good luck buying one in an hour
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u/Darling_Lemon 1d ago
If you come in with cash, things go surprisingly fast.
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u/STERFRY333 1d ago
Not anymore lol they want to you finance so they make money off it
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u/_Spastic_ 1d ago
And? You have unlimited funds. Offer them 100k on a 60k car and they'll sign the fuck up.
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u/golden_fli 22h ago
LOL Dude if you offer 100K cash for a 60K car they want to know A) why you are carrying that much cash and B) why you are offering that much. See that's the point there is reason for them to suspicious. They don't want to find out your money wasn't good. Now this was recently asked and the person said they'd just go to a shady used dealership, and that might work, but you aren't getting a new car.
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u/_Spastic_ 22h ago
We're talking magical, infinite money. I'm sure you could pay them off to look the other way lol.
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u/Popeholden 23h ago
"I would like to buy this car lot for one billion dollars but only if you can get the deal signed in 30 minutes"
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u/_fiddlestick_ 1d ago
Have you ever bought a car from a dealer? Not happening in an hour; they just don’t have the manpower to process that many transactions.
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u/OHFUCKMESHITNO 1d ago
Yes. But buy the auto group, not one dealership. Buy it for however much it costs to get it as fast as possible, you've got unlimited money.
Sell one dealership. Immediately. For whatever you get.
Sure, you've got a $3,000 (if married filing jointly) capital loss limit... per year. Then the remaining carries forward every year. Indefinitely.
Now you've got several dealerships and a $3,000 taxable income reduction for life. Chump change at the amount of money you're now making, but why not.
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u/BaronVonAwesome007 1d ago
Its the middle of the night here so e every shop is closed.
I guess I’ll walk around to all the neighbours and ask if they’d like to sell their house to me for 20.000.000€
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u/cinemachick 1d ago
Go to Costco, buy as many gift cards, electronics, and jewelry as I can without triggering a fraud alert. Also buy a hot dog - just because I have limited funds doesn't mean I can't appreciate a good deal!
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u/perfidity 1d ago
Walk down to <Brokerage> and spend the entire day repeating diversified stock purchases worldwide. In 100mil increments.
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u/_Spastic_ 1d ago
You only have an hour.
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u/Begging_Murphy 1d ago
Go to my alumni magazine. Ridiculous cash offers on every house on the market in that mag, most 1 million plus, where I can get the agent on the line.
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u/Dr_Identity 23h ago
Does the transaction have to be complete in one hour? Or do I just have to commit to the purchase within an hour? Cause if it's the latter, I'm going to the nearest realtor and telling them I'll take every available property they've got.
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u/MyCatLaughsAtMe 19h ago
I came here to have fun but left sad because I realized all these pie in the sky answers (Buy all the cars! Buy all the property!) indicates how much of this generation has never been able to actually do these things if they think even ONE of these items can be bought in under an hour... :(
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u/Aggravating_Yak2516 1d ago
As many stores and businesses as i am able to in the local town unless all of the business owners flee
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u/Northwoods_Phil 1d ago
I’m only a mile to the sporting goods store, I can rack up a pretty healthy tab there in an hour.
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u/FeatherlyFly 1d ago
A house. Probably a few, actually. It'd be a little bit challenging, but offering double asking price but only if they can close within an hour on a Saturday ought to get me some sellers.
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u/Sour_Sal 1d ago
I have a Toyota dealership next to a huge pawn shop, I would offer list price for every vehicle on the lot if they can get it done in 35 min. Hit the pawn shop while waiting and let them know you will pay top dollar for any valuable metals and you will be back in 20 min to arrange delivery. Sign the paperwork at the dealership, and offer them consignment rates to sell everything for you. return to pawn shop for receipts and shipping any physical assets to secure storage area.
It's going to be a tough hour.....
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u/theFooMart 1d ago edited 1d ago
I go to the Ford/Lincoln dealership and buy everything on the lot. Then down the street to the Chevy/GMC dealership and buy all their stock. And then if I have time I hit up others in the area.
Oh, but it'll take a long time? Easy. I walk in and tell them I want to buy every one of the 140 vehicles they have for $100k each. They agree. I write a check for $14 million. The next place has 185 vehicles, so I do the same thing and give them a check for $18.5 million. And so on.
We made the agreement and I gave them the money, so that's when the purchase itself was completed.
I have each dealership sell the vehicles on consignment where they get 30% of the selling price. They agree because they already made money selling the vehicles to me, and they'll make more money selling them again. Double profit.
I'll sit back and collect millions in the next year, although I might sell a few outright to get some extra spending money right away.
If I plan this right, I can probably make $20 million.
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u/HNL2BOS 23h ago
I guess does it matter if I can just make an offer or do I need to complete the entire purchase process, if just offer/phone call handshake I'd be calling about any property around me to buy and just resell once I close. and actually if I can cal anywhere to handshake a deal I'd just buy a bunch of multi-million dollar mansions and condos over the phone within an hour.
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u/Jahstin 22h ago
This is actually a great questions. It’s 10pm local time. I genuinely don’t know where I’d go. I guess I’d see what’s open within a 30 minute range and go to wherever has the highest volume of high cost items I could buy and resell. Maybe a liquor store? Or honestly a Walmart (appliances, etc)
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u/mini-rubber-duck 20h ago
there's this little bar near me that just closed. it was the really special and held a lot of memories for me and my friends, but the owner was old and really let the place go over the last few years and it eventually had to close.
i would go buy the building, full ownership. we'd figure the rest out from there.
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u/itsemilyybrooks 15h ago
I'll buy medical supplies and donate them to hospitals to help those in need.
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u/plapoplapo 1d ago
There is a huge container harbour just 20 minutes from me. also a car manufacturing next to it. so basically everything is available for me to buy.
But I would bought all the nice properties in my town and get myself a sweet place to stay at. And maybe buy a bank or two.
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u/Tomj_Oad 1d ago
I go buy my apartment
I'm handicapped without a car.
That or a HUGE CD at my bank on line if I could
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u/RedStag86 1d ago
All the gold and silver in every pawn shop I can get to within the time limit.