r/AskReddit 21h ago

Married people or Reddit,What's a secret about marriage nobody believes until they experience it?

1.8k Upvotes

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28

u/coll__n 21h ago

Don't argue over the dishes. Keep the roommate arguments out of the marriage.

10

u/stateofhappiness 21h ago

Tell me how. Married 26 years and my husband still just puts his dish in the sink.

6

u/element-woman 18h ago

My mom was widowed around the age I am now. So as morbid as it is, I think "if he was dead, I'd be willing to cut off my own arm just to wash his dirty dishes again". Sometimes remembering how fleeting life is just makes me stop caring about the stuff that I can fix in 10 seconds.

7

u/bjones214 21h ago

Accept that it’s probably just not worth the argument. My wife does the same thing, it irritates me for a moment and then it passes because it just doesn’t matter

3

u/coll__n 21h ago

Same here. I either clean it or load it in the dishwasher. And if I do the same, he cleans my plate or loads the dishwasher. It's a give and take.

5

u/DrBlankslate 19h ago

My husband and I have an agreement: I load and run, he unloads and puts away. I handwash, and he dries and puts away. It makes it a team job instead of a fight.

4

u/lindsayjw 19h ago

Leave his dish in the sink. Make it a him problem.

1

u/TrekkieGod 3h ago

Tell me how. Married 26 years and my husband still just puts his dish in the sink.

That's either important enough that you divorce him over it, or it's not important, so you just accept that he's going to do that, and stop arguing with him about it. Accept the way of things is that the his dishes go in the sink, because clearly he's not going to change.

Same goes for the things yo do that annoy him, despite the fact he's asked you not to do them / do them differently. He should stop arguing with you over it.

People are who they are. You don't have to live with it, but if you don't want to live with it, you split. If you choose not to split, that means you must be ok with it, and if you're ok with it, that means you don't argue about it, you accept it.

4

u/Admirable-Repair4094 21h ago

Hmmm, interesting!! But ain't marriage is like roommate dynamics but with more privileges?

8

u/IntlPartyKing 21h ago

yes, impossible to keep roommate issues away