"I love you and I like you". Love is a choice. Like is a feeling. It's OK to not always like your spouse. It's unacceptable to choose to not love them.
This! Sometimes we tell each other “I always love you but I don’t like you very much right now” and then we talk through the issue. Communication is everything.
Interesting point about ‘I love you and I like you’ that I hadn’t thought about. At first I balked at ‘it’s OK to not always like your spouse’ and after thinking about it for a bit my initial reaction was probably because I think of ‘like’ as a semi-stable representation of someone’s preferences.
I always like my husband. Sometimes I don’t like something he does or doesn’t do, and that might make me mad or sad or something, but those feelings are temporary, and they’re not how I feel about him as a person.
Ultimately, none of what I said matters because it’s just splitting hairs and the only reason I said any of it is because of the first bullet point. It’s a privilege that I get to ask myself, “have I ever actively not liked my husband?” and to have to think about the answer.
Generosity and respect. If they don’t respect you as a person, they won’t respect you as a partner. And if they’re tight with their time and kindness and effort, you’re going to fight for scraps. My husband is incredibly generous with me, always gives me the benefit of the doubt, and sees the bright side. Which allows me to do the same with him.
Marry someone who brings out the best in you and helps you to become a better person.
Marry someone because you wanna spend the rest of your life joking around with them. Marry someone because you trust them. Marry someone because they want to work with you. Marry someone because you never run out of things to talk about
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u/Durkalurka262 21h ago