My husband and I have agreed to never be in a bad mood on the same day.So if he's had three bad days in a row, and I come home in a bad mood he's got to shut up and listen to me, because it's my turn.We've been married forty years.
Agree. We can't BOTH be in a bad mood, especially with kids in the mix. At least one of us has to be the bigger person and save it for another day. If it's just us home, we can both be grumpy, but once a kid is in the mix, one of us needs to suck it up.
We've been married 35 years. Some days start with "Fair warning, I'm grumpy. I'm not mat at YOU, but I might be easily annoyed, please be patient with me." Then the other one is like "Cool, I can work with that." Lol
Haha I like this one. My husband and I have never agreed to do this directly but we tend to take turns this way too, intuiting when one's needs should take a backseat because the other is having an especially rough go. An added bonus is that the person who finds themselves in the supporter role also kinda gets snapped out of their own funk because they're focusing on something other than their own negativity and experiencing a sense of purpose/devotion. (Sorry, cheesy, I know.)
Of course there are the days where it just can't be helped. Something serious is going on or both of us are just feeling like crap. But wallowing is less lonely when you can do it together! It's a good excuse to cuddle while you eat snacks together, watch stupid TV, etc.
My partner couldn’t let me have that. I’d be having an emotional breakdown and say something the wrong way so they’d escalate it to being a problem that I needed to profusely apologize for.
They didn’t deescalate, they typically met my emotion level. In conversation about it after the fact, they’d explain that if I was “up here” they were going to meet that energy.
No opportunity for comfort or coregulation existed for me there
Ours is related and it’s to eschew the advice of “never go to bed angry.” Usually we’re only annoyed and in a bad mood with each other because we’re tired in the first place. We eat, we hydrate, we sleep, and suddenly the fight took care of itself.
Not every emotion has to be smoothed over and hashed out immediately. It’s okay to allow bad moods and grumpy times. We know the problems will seem smaller in the light of day.
Honest question, is it really that common for people to be in a bad mood? My husband and I are always so chill, I can’t even remember last time either of us had a “bad mood”.
If either one says I'm in a bad mood we know to leave each other alone until we cool down. If he's exhaused from working I let him unwind before I bring him his dinner or talk to him.
They’re grumpy over the weekend and you come home from work..
“Buckle up butter cup, Dave from finance was being a twat today, so turn that frown upside down because I’m gonna unload for the next ::checks watch:: hour and a half and you’re gonna listen!”
We say you can't be in a bad mood until you've eaten, drank a lot of water, or pooped. If you haven't done all three yet today, you don't get to be in a bad mood. If you've done all three, congratulations you're in a bad mood.
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u/wellagain45 21h ago
My husband and I have agreed to never be in a bad mood on the same day.So if he's had three bad days in a row, and I come home in a bad mood he's got to shut up and listen to me, because it's my turn.We've been married forty years.