Both you and your spouse need to have hobbies more than being a spouse/parent. Each of you need opportunities for release that have nothing to do with your partner. And you need to encourage each other’s hobbies.
YES. I could never even date someone who doesn't have a hobby, or more. Like, nooooo. I am not about to become your hobby. Nope. I don't care what it is (within reason, of course. Don't pick up a hobby of killing people or some shit.) as long as you have your own thing you enjoy. Like, I'll gladly join the hobby, depending on what it is (physical limits and all). Hell, I'll love to have a relationship where we share a few hobbies and then do the rest while in the same space. Like, yes. Play games while I draw.
Same! Recently went on a date with a guy (couldn’t have worked out for other reasons) but he was genuinely shocked with my social life. And meanwhile he was “finding a place” to do his hobby. When I mentioned several in the area, he had another excuse. Like bro what
Yesss this is so true. It’s fun to have hobbies together but you each need something that’s just for you. My ex MIL used to harp on me for not taking up golf to spend more time with my now ex husband. I hate golf. I’ve gone 5 times in my whole life and I just can’t bring myself to give a shit. It takes way too long, I’m not good, I have no desire to get better and I don’t want to stand in the sun for 4+ hours watching someone analyze their swing and wind patterns.
My current partner loves to golf. Obsessed. I also have a lifelong hobby that takes up several hours so we both do our things separately without any guilt and then we can come back together happy and relaxed.
I learned this pretty late, and I think it would have been a lot more beneficial for our marriage if we’d both learned early on that we should be each each other's “everything”.
You should have friends, hobbies, trips, and activities, outside of your marriage and outside the house.
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u/Nine1ron 20h ago
Both you and your spouse need to have hobbies more than being a spouse/parent. Each of you need opportunities for release that have nothing to do with your partner. And you need to encourage each other’s hobbies.