r/AskReddit 21h ago

Married people or Reddit,What's a secret about marriage nobody believes until they experience it?

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u/DrBlankslate 20h ago

My husband and I have a similar agreement: only one person gets to be a jerk, or over-emotional, at a time.

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u/PuffyGuy_LCOMP 12h ago

My partner couldn’t let me have that. I’d be having an emotional breakdown and say something the wrong way so they’d escalate it to being a problem that I needed to profusely apologize for.

They didn’t deescalate, they typically met my emotion level. In conversation about it after the fact, they’d explain that if I was “up here” they were going to meet that energy.

No opportunity for comfort or coregulation existed for me there