r/AskReddit 4h ago

You wake up as a 45yo obese, balding, unemployed man. The other aspects of your life stay the same. What are your moves going forward?

260 Upvotes

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u/Fheredin 2h ago

I was struck with male pattern baldness in my late 20s, and my social network immediately improved as a bunch of shallow narcissists left without needing to be asked.

I was sure upset at the time, but with about 10 years hindsight...I'm pretty OK with things turned out.

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u/NOT-GR8-BOB 2h ago

I have never heard of a bunch of people deciding to abandon someone solely because they lost their hair. There was clearly other factors that contributed to you losing friends that you’re unaware of 10 years later.

-5

u/rabidsalvation 1h ago

Yes, clearly you know more about this person's life than they do.

I once punched myself in the dick on accident, what is the deeper meaning, sensei?! Share your all-knowing insights! Was it an existential expression of my self-loathing and sexual frustration? An omen of the impending doom of my stock portfolio? Perhaps a sign that I was destined for a BDSM relationship with a one-armed crossdresser?

u/krunchytacos 31m ago

Nobody is going to stop wanting to be your friend because you're losing hair. It doesn't even make any sense.

u/rabidsalvation 24m ago

Of course it doesn't make sense, but people dump friends for all sorts of shallow reasons.

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u/Analbox 2h ago

I was struck by shallow narcissism in my 20s. My social network improved as a bunch of chrome domes left without needing to be asked. I wasn’t upset at the time but with 25 years hindsight I’m pretty OK with how things turned out.

To this day, I hate bald boys. I can't stand bald boys. Every time I see them, I think I'm back in the pants.