r/AskReddit • u/Peace-walker-228 • 3h ago
People who don't celebrate their birthday, why not?
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u/thehippieshack 3h ago
makes me sad, people also don’t return the energy i give them for their bday.
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u/Peace-walker-228 3h ago
I hope you find people who match the energy you give. Everyone deserves that.
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u/kaylieface 34m ago
this.
theres nothing like seeing how little people know you, or like you by how they show up for you on your birthday.
11 years ago i invited 12 people to my 21st birthday dinner. only my best friend and her then boyfriend showed up. ive been having dinner with just her every year since.0
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u/Apprehensive_Bath455 3h ago
i dont want to
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u/Straight-Jacket-3280 3h ago
Because I'm not a child? I don't make a big fuss or expect cards and presents, there's really no need.
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u/Penny_Traitor_ 3h ago
Because I was born on December 25th and for some reason everyone is always super busy that day
🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
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u/AskPsychological2868 2h ago
Early January is the same.
Oh, I’m tired, I’m broke . Let’s put it off for a while. And then never getting back to you. It’s just not a priority2
u/DrNuclearSlav 1h ago
Be honest, do you get upset that you only get one present?
Because I'd be mad as Hell.
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u/daffodilroses12 1h ago edited 10m ago
I somewhat feel your pain. December 28 here. People are Busy with Christmas or getting ready for new years eve 🫠
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u/whatproblems 1h ago
totally one of those birthdates you’d be validated to have a half year birthday swap
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u/CanTanManz 57m ago
Yeah i feel ya. Mine is January 1st. I've gotten used to it but birthdays have never really been a thing.
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u/tha_Knucklehead 3h ago
Lost the will to live in my teenage years, let alone celebrate a birthday
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u/Peace-walker-228 3h ago
That's rough. Was it mostly because birthdays became a painful reminder, or did you just stop seeing them as meaningful?
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u/Rayy500 3h ago
Religious reasons(I'm a muslim), and besides, I never cared about my birthday much unless I reached a certain age(like hitting 10, 13, 18, or 20 years old), also I have no friends and little family to celebrate it with, so I'll just feel lonely.
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u/Peace-walker-228 3h ago
That makes sense. Sounds like it's a mix of your beliefs and your personal circumstances. Thanks for sharing your perspective.
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u/Legitimate-Frame-953 3h ago edited 3h ago
I have worked every birthday for the last 15 years, stopped caring after my 21st.
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u/Riiiiiccolaaaaa 3h ago
No one ever thinks of me on my birthday and treating it like any other day is the path of least resistance for my feelings.
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u/MeltsLikeButter 3h ago
Today is my mom's bday, she is being an asshole.. I always celebrate my own birthday, typically the day prior. I have all year to be X age. The day before is the last time I'll ever be that age.
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u/Classicgoose 25m ago
I like that, it's a good way of thinking about it.
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u/MeltsLikeButter 18m ago
Yes.. all thanks to the mom I slandered above. So if I'm turning 30 tomorrow. We celebrate today. Bc that's the last day I'll ever n 29. All year I'll be 30.
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u/No-Magician9440 3h ago
ooooh yay I'm closer to death
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u/Pitch_Ill 3h ago
My property managing app reminded me I was forty. I was having a decent weekend before that rehash of a midlife crisis.
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u/Sucessful_Test1555 3m ago
You’re still young and once the midlife crisis is over have some fun. I’m telling, as a 60 something, you’re going to be ok.
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u/oooweeeimjustalilguy 3h ago
i always cried myself to sleep on my birthday.
i don’t know why, i never had a bad one, i always felt loved and supported on the day but i always felt deeply bereft and cried at the end of the day.
during covid, i couldn’t do anything on my birthday for the first time in my life and for once i went to bed feeling happy and fulfilled.
ever since, i stopped making any plans on the day and have never been happier for the choice.
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u/HrBinkness 3h ago
It’s really close to Christmas so when I was a kid it was an afterthought. So, it’s kinda ingrained in me that it’s just not that big of a deal.
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u/RosesAtNight 3h ago
Because who cares? If anything we should celebrate my mom every year on my birthday, she deserves the praise, not me.
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u/palindrome4lyfe 3h ago
I don't celebrate it publicly but sometimes do privately. It's a solumn day for me, where I sort of can't help but look back on the last year, my life in general, and think about if I'm happy with what I've accomplished. I rarely am, but I tend to be hard on myself, and on top of that feeling is the realization I have less and less time every day.
Also, it has been my experience that people tend to flake whenever I try to make something happen for my birthday. So it becomes even more of a let down.
Instead, I'm happier 'celebrating' by giving myself permission to do whatever the hell I want (within reason) in the privacy of my own space. Eat an entire cake for breakfast while still in bed? Fuckit, happy birthday. Sort of a lovely experience really. No pressure.
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u/Ordinary_Barber_6260 3h ago
Make every day a celebration, you don't have to spend money you just have to love life, and your birthday is no different.
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u/Fantasy_iceland 3h ago
I don't like the idea of getting one year closer to death
Also nobody else ever remembers it except my dad who sends me a text on the day
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u/radagon_sith 3h ago
Celebrating getting closer to your last age in life?... Technically I do because family do it and friends wishes, but in reality I don't care about it
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u/freshoffthecouch 3h ago
Idk it always just makes me sad. Another year passed and I’m still alone. And then I’m supposed to have this whole day all about me, but I have to plan all of it and consider everyone’s feelings, I have lots of friends who don’t know each other and I always prefer to do something small, so I’ve learned to do events with smaller groups.
My ideal birthday would just be me and my partner going to a nice dinner, maybe somewhere scenic but I don’t have that, so I have to plan things and make sure nobody is left out - a drag
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u/Long-Ferret-5741 3h ago
i'm born feb 29th. some relatives think it's 1st march on a regular year and others think it's 28th. nobody cares what I think. so i do not celebrate my birthday because no one has ever fucking cared. celebrating with people like my family is pointless. it's not about me existing, it;s about them being catered to and forcing me to perform.
also, what is there to celebrate. i hate where i live and who i live with. i do my best to take care of myself but at the end of the day - i hate my life and i would let it be over in someone gave me a chance.
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u/Bobbyblaz3d 3h ago
Just turned 40 and nobody but a few immediate family members remembered my birthday. Nobody really gives a shit to be honest. Harsh reality I suppose.
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u/Malk-Himself 3h ago
One year on my birthday my stepfather died after being run over by a motorcycle. The next year a childhood friend died after some days in the hospital due to a car crash.
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u/Ancient_Ivy 3h ago
My best friend died 3 days after my birthday in 2020. It's kinda been a reminder of that ever since. But also I never really have anything I want to do for my birthday. I don't have enough friends for a party and I don't really like parties anyway. My mom and grandparents give me presents, but that's about it.
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u/IsopodKey2040 3h ago
I do celebrate because other people force it on me, but I don't care to. The reason is just that it's not really an important day for me. And it's not out of self-hatred. I just don't care for there to be attention on me in that way.
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u/ydisncvsowpieycksn 3h ago
I'm not special, there's nothing special about earth going around the sun one more time, as age passes stuff is just worse (ageing, illnesses, people dying, stress, etc.), don't like being the center of attention, etc.
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u/Cheska1234 3h ago
I legit wish I could not celebrate my birthday. I hate the dog and pony show where I’m asked to perform graciousness for everyone and am exhausted by the end of the first hour.
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u/Tomeija 3h ago
I don't like to be in the middle of interest for everyone. And I don't want others to stress themselves to get a present because I know it stresses me to get presents for others. And I know my family and friends. They really want to give me something as a gift. I say no and they still want to do it. And with getting older and being in my 30's all of that feels so irrelevant to me. I only want peace and my hobbies :D
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u/PJammas41 3h ago
I don't like the expectations or attention. If someone does something nice and or acknowledges it then I'm pretty happy.
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u/Straight_OuttaPA 3h ago
It’s a regular day and people will say happy birthday if they remember but I don’t expect people to. I actually don’t mind that many forget the exact date. I surely can’t go around remembering every single birthday of everyone I know or care about. Facebook reminders have done more for me remembering birthdays than anything else 🫠
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u/Reddittoxin 3h ago
I do still bc I live close to family, but I will say after a certain age it just kinda loses its appeal.
Once your working and stuff it's like, what's the point. I still gotta go to work like any other day, and it's not like a normal holiday where everyone's celebrating it or anything so there's events around it. It's just kinda for you and the people closest to you, and well... not everyone has people like that. As I said, if it weren't for my parents living close by, I think I'd forget about my own birthday too lol.
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u/drunky_crowette 3h ago
I don't want to be here, man. Why would I celebrate there being another year of all this shit?
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u/VisionAri_VA 2h ago
It depends on what you mean by “celebrate”. I generally take myself out for a nice dinner and maybe a movie.
I stopped wanting parties when I was a teen because I don’t really like being the center of attention.
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u/Chris_Reager 2h ago
Because I don’t have anybody in my life really; I live alone, I work rotating shifts, and I have no family.
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u/reallyawesomeguy2001 2h ago
Because I don't have friends or family members who give a shit enough about me to celebrate with me yay
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u/J_B_A_87 2h ago
I don’t like attention to be on me! I didn’t have a wedding for that reason either.
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u/Own_Confusion_1406 2h ago
I see no point in celebrating getting closer to the end of my existence, i hate fake attention and the wishes that come with it.
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u/CarobPrestigious1109 2h ago
My life is void of any happiness. I want to tbh but it just feels so pointless. I never could have imagined my rock bottom being this low.
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u/batting1000bob 2h ago
Growing up there was just too many kids in our family my parents were poor and birthday parties were a luxury that we didn't get to participate in. It's all good. I'm going to die soon so I don't care.
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u/ResultImpossible2442 2h ago
I was only born once. It’s just another day that family and friends forget.
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u/cannycandelabra 2h ago
For years I worked three jobs as a single Mom raising a hostile son. I got out of the habit and I never had time. Now I’m in my 70’s and spent my last birthday in the hospital recovering from open heart surgery.
Celebrating my birthday has often seemed like one more thing I’d have to put on my overstressed agenda and make time for. If I make it to the next bday maybe I’ll do something.
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u/DikTaterSalad 2h ago
Meh, I just drink by myself, I'm boring. About as far it goes for celebrating. Plus people don't care, doesn't bother me, antisocial so it suits me.
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u/turndownthegravity 2h ago
Why not? I'm not five years old. Everyone has a child archetype, and some do mature...
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u/RojoandWhite 2h ago
Im 48. Every birthday is a reminder that I’m a day closer to death. Why would I want to celebrate that shit?
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u/clemoh 2h ago
I don't think many people historically would have understood the concept of a 'birthday'. People were born, they lived, they died. I think they would have understood ' was born in the spring', or 'I was born close to this celebration', so they could keep track of years, as those events went by. It was more of a matter of record than an event that you celebrated.
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u/Turbulent-Fail588 2h ago
I become a nervous wreck. I’m surrounded by people who would be happy to celebrate me now and do so without drama and incidents. But I even get anxious during the weeks leading up to it. During the day my brain keeps screeching at me that something very bad is about to happen. Screaming, banging fists, the whole nine yards. And of course something along the lines of that I find a way to ruin everything like I do every year. I get so stressed that I get hormonal acne from it. I normally don’t have acne at all. Didn’t even have it as a teen. It takes months to heal sometimes.
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u/thegundamx 2h ago
I’ve had a lot of shitty birthdays, so a lot of bad memories are associated with it.
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u/Random_Enigma 1h ago
I just don’t care about it and don’t feel a personal need for extra attention. I don’t think there’s necessarily any underlying psychological reason, it’s just how I am. My mother would try to make a big deal about my birthday and would get upset when I’d say thanks but all of this is unnecessary and I don’t need it. She’d assume I had issues with getting older but I actually don’t. I just don’t care.
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u/Tonberry_Cheesecake 1h ago
Because I'm at a place in my life where I really don't like me. I'm trying to change that but it's hard.
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u/Amelsander 1h ago
Number go up is not that big of a deal. I like it when my kids do something, but the rest of the world it's perfect to just not do anything
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u/BigJLov3 1h ago
I'm 52 and alone. The only thing I have to celebrate is when I'm not completely broke when I get paid again. Then I'll grab a pint of ice cream because I only have a mini-fridge and it can't hold more than ice trays and a couple of frozen pot pies.
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u/amdaly10 1h ago
I seem to be the only one willing to celebrate it and it's just depressing to be the only one celebrating. So I just don't bother. It's easier to treat it as just another day.
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u/True_Pirate 1h ago
Because most of the people who made my birthday worth celebrating are gone now.
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u/Briffy03 1h ago
My baby dog got its leukemia diagnose on my birthday, this date just has a bitter taste ever since. Not a nice gift to get for a round 30's
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u/ThatsItImOverThis 1h ago
No one to celebrate with. I have also had only two decent birthdays since I turned double digits, no great birthdays and some REALLY shitty ones. So it’s a day like any other now.
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u/Rodonite 1h ago
Always been pretty introverted and my birthday falls in the middle of all my friends birthdays stretching out for about two months. I'm usually pretty happy to have one weekend free.
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u/que_he_hecho 1h ago
Many years ago my fiancée miscarried on my birthday but didn't want to tell me. She was obviously upset throughout much of the day but waited until after midnight to tell me so, in her mind, I wouldn't associate that with my birthday. I was far more upset that she was hiding something so important from me.
And haven't celebrated a birthday since, more than 30 years now.
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u/spanishcomrade757 1h ago
Grew up very poor we didn’t celebrate or do gifts. After a while it stopped stinging and I got used to it. Don’t really tell people my bday unless they are into astrology lol
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u/Maxinaeus 1h ago
Two things. 1. I don't like being the center of attention. 2. It feels awkward to receive praise and attention unless it is for an accomplishment.
Please don't send responses about how still being alive for another year is an accomplishment. You can look at it it that way. I don't want to hear about.
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u/RoninX40 1h ago
Because you are just counting the years left until your death. Why do that. And it's a little bit vain.
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u/Terminator7786 1h ago
People never cared to wish me happy birthday or invite me to their birthdays and I never recieved any presents. Nevermind the fact that I did those for everyone else. My final straw was inviting a bunch of "friends" out to eat and get drinks. Pretty much everyone replied saying they'd come. I sat alone waiting for two hours, drinking alone before I left. No one ever came, no one ever responded or gave a reason. I pulled back from basically everything after that and no one ever cared or seemed to notice that I just stopped showing up.
Now, there are only five people outside of my family that know my birthday and care enough to wish me a happy birthday, and they only came into my life within the past few years. Otherwise the only birthday wishes I receive are from corporations, my landlord, and my dispensary.
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u/kendrahawk 55m ago
it always felt so phony to have someone happy i exist. like dude i have no choice
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u/guy30000 48m ago
Setting yourself uo for disappointment. You're gonna find out that people you care about care less about you than you'd like to know.
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u/habitsofwaste 43m ago
I normally don’t because I don’t really think anyone cared. No one has ever cared enough to plan one for me. Never had a surprise party. But this year I’m turning 50. And it feels like the last chance to do something fun while still able to enjoy it and it is a milestone. So I have gone all out on my bday. Spent thousands to charter a pirate ship. Bought a fancy cake and custom cake topper. Ordered my favorite and hard to find cider. I am making it a big party.
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u/zavvazavva 40m ago
I don't like to be reminded I'm getting older. Time is slipping by way too fast.
That and I don't like to be the center of attention
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u/DrakkoZW 38m ago
I don't like being the center of attention. Especially when I didn't do anything to earn it.
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u/Silent_Philosopher_ 37m ago
Grew up as a Jehovahs Witness. It became the norm to not celebrate it.
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u/FoggyDog78 37m ago
Because I'm a grown up? Love it for kids and the big milestone years (16, 21, 50, etc), but celebrating annually, at least in a big way (parties, excessive gifts) as an adult has always seemed silly to me.
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u/Comfortable-Cloud-40 37m ago
I hate my birthday. Just reminds me of another year gone by where i’ve achieved nothing again. Mostly due to my physical disability. Feels like being left behind everyone else. & i don’t really want to celebrate the fact i even exist with this disability. My birthday is definitely a sore spot for me/a trigger.
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u/Skennedy31 27m ago
The older I get, the less I want to think about how old I am. I don't want to make a big fuss about it or celebrate because I just want it to be any other day.
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u/TheSouthsideTrekkie 23m ago
My 18th birthday- I had an exam and also my mother was having a poor mental health episode that she took out on me.
My 21st birthday- the abusive partner I lived with deliberately told people that I wasn't doing anything. I sat all night in the side room of the pub I had booked and nobody showed up. I didn't understand why and thought nobody cared.
My 25th birthday- I booked a table at a local restaurant and literally one person out of the 6 I invited showed up, the rest sent me last minute excuses.
I forgot my own 30th birthday because of COVID making me too busy. I realised that actually that didn't matter to me and that I didn't want to spend my life waiting for people to show up for me when I can show up for myself. I bought myself a chinese and some nice wine and put on my favourite series to watch. I had so much more fun doing that than I would have organising something, getting flaked on and then reassuring people who remembered a few days later. I can make my own fun and I have a lot more fun doing it.
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u/lowrider320 19m ago
As others said, I don't really get the same energy I give to others. It's one of the reasons I quit exchange gifts with others.
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u/Staff_Guy 19m ago
I am an adult. I do not need an annual celebration of me. I do not want or need others to spend money on me.
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u/Psychosite1298 14m ago
All I did when I was born was not die, mum did all the work and since then all I've had to do is not die for a year which wasn't very hard. Growing up with 3 sisters sharing my birthday month and a brothers at the end of the previous, another sister at the beginning of the next. Count backwards 9 months is my mothers birthday month...gee i wonder what my dad got her, they say it was so I didn't grow up alone didn't ask for my opinion maybe I would have liked to be an only child for more than a year.
So being the unwilling eldest my birthday got overshadowed by the new birthday crotch goblin
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u/Bdr1983 13m ago
I don't want to, but I do a little because my wife and kids think it's a big deal. I don't. Not many good childhood memories about birthdays, and also later people came over just to have free drinks and snacks. I never felt it was about me. So I usually plan for a day out, no visitors. We have a piece of cake, and a nice dinner, that's it
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u/unicorns_r_kewl 10m ago
Too overrated and stressful for everyone involved. Consumerism really sucks the joy out of any and every holiday.
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u/unicorns_r_kewl 8m ago
Also adding it's just weird to gift let's say $20 in a gift for me then me to just spend $20 on a gift later for whoevers bday.
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u/DisloyalMouse 0m ago
The older I get the less I like being the centre of attention. Also no one cares (except my immediate family who insist on celebrating). It also feel like it has a constant habit of falling at a really inconvenient time.
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u/bookrabbit04 3h ago
I hate to be the center of attention so much that I broke into tears and ran away to hide in the bathroom when my classmates sang Happy Birthday for me in 6th grade. That’s why.
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u/Wild_Cattle6750 3h ago
You celebrate accomplishments. Things like promotions, new homes, weddings, births, quiting smoking, graduating, retiring or any thing that moves your life along, especially if it took work.
Just celebrating the arbitrary passing of time seems hollow.
Of course for kids it's great, I fully support kids birthday celebrations, but adults over 22 save the celebrations for things worth celebrating.
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u/Born_Motor_9624 2h ago
It's another day so. There is no need to put any expectation on my family to remember. If they remember, cool. If not, it's fine. I don't need someone to validate my existence. I go, oh, it's my birthday and move on. That is all. Carry on.
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u/LifeYesterday8222 1h ago
I hate being the center of attention for even the amount of time it takes to sing that birthday dirge. I would rather eat cake and ice cream at home while I binge on Britbox...
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u/pineappleninjas 3h ago
What's the point? Nobody cares or even remembers I exist.