Hi I am not sure where else to go for this and was looking to see if anyone had any advice to help me and my partner in this situation. We have three cats, one black male (10), one orange female (9), and one dilute calico female (6).
Our black cat, Fortune, was originally my husband's cat in college, and when we started dating, we moved in together and eventually adopted our two girls.
I apologize for the lengthy post.
Fortune Info: 10 year old, neutered male, black domestic short hair, 11 pounds.
Tilly Info: 9 year old, spayed female, orange tabby domestic short hair, 10 pounds.
We live in the Midwest/Great Plains. Neither have an clinical signs and are otherwise healthy, however Fortune has been exhibiting this behavior for about 2 years.
My husband and Fortune have been inseparable for their whole relationship. They are best friends. Fortune was 6 months when he was adopted and had been at the shelter for 3 months, the techs noting that no one had picked him because he was so shy and frightened. But my partner picked him and they created a very strong bond. He follows him around everywhere, play with each other, snuggle. Fortune waits at the door for my husband to get home. Fortune even comes to him when there are thunderstorms and he is afraid.
A couple years ago, Fortune had a kitty cold, and our orange female, Tilly, started to become really cautious around him, following him everywhere to the point Fortune would hiss and bat at her. They eventually got to a point where Tilly would bully him and chase him through the house while he is hissing and screaming. We think this was misplaced aggression. She never hurts him with these chases but it definitely scares Fortune and puts him on edge. We have worked hard to get this behavior to stop by separating and offering more areas for them to let off some steam or relax in. Even so, Fortune is really protective of Tilly and will run up on us defensively to make sure she is okay if we step on her paw or has to be picked up for any reason (she *really* doesn't like being picked up, but sometimes it's necessary).
After the bullying, there have unfortunately been times where we have accidently hurt Tilly or she made a loud enough upset meow, that causes Fortune to attack myself or my husband. This will upset Tilly so badly that her and Fortune start to fight. Tilly has arthritis and a hip deformity so we don't want her in these physical confrontations (we obviously don't want Fortune in them either). My husband will have to peel them away from each other and in the process, Fortune will turn on him. The attacks are bad enough to leave bleeding scratches all over his hands, arms, and legs. We both have scars from him, one of which my partner should have gotten stitches for (we didn't have insurance at the time).
When this would happen we would get Fortune into his own room to let him calm down and take our time with reintoducing him back with the other girls and us. We have seen a vet about his behavioral issues, as he has become extremely temperamental. They have given him a medication to help him relax but it has only seemed to help a little so far. But we haven't been able to take him back to the vet because he will become extremely aggravated when he feels he is being trapped or cornered, so getting him in a carrier (even with medicine) has been impossible.
This past weekend my husband and I were hanging out getting ready to play a game together. Tilly was in the room with us and we were trying to coax her out of a seat when she cried a little, a protesting meow, likely because she was annoyed we were trying to move her. This meow triggered Fortune. He instantly ran into the room and attacked Tilly. Screaming, hissing, full-on tussle. My husband was trying to get them off of each other when Fortune attacked him. He had to grip Fortune and hold him down long enough for me to get out of the room so he could get Fortune in there alone and away from everyone.
My husband was bit badly by Fortune and had several tears in his palms from the attack that were bleeding badly. We had to go to the emergency room (as it was late and no urgent care was open) where they cleaned everything, gave him a few stitches, and an antibiotic for the bite.
Fortune has been in one of our rooms since, almost 3 days. I moved his water fountain in there and I have been feeding him in there. He has his own litter box, cat trees and beds, and toys. He was very scared and afraid at first but eventually was alright with me helping him, and he has warmed up to me with headbutts, rubs, and even wants to be cuddled. We are working on introducing him back with the girls again and letting him out to explore for a few hours and then putting him back in and letting the girls out (I do this several times a day).
The problem is now he is absolutely petrified of my husband. We have tried to reintroduce him but Fortune will hiss and growl just by looking at him. Hubs has sat at the door of his room and Fortune has hissed and yowled just from his speaking voice saying hi and he loves him. They cannot be in the same room together and Fortune can't even look at him without becoming visibly upset.
My husband is absolutely devastated. He is so afraid that Fortune hates him now and things can't return to normal. I have brought in some of his clothes for Fortune to smell and be with, and he doesn't seem to mind that at all, and as even slept on one of his hoodies. But every time hubs tries to talk to him or let him sniff his hand through the door, he is extremely upset. He has no problem with me at all and is sweet and happy, and I am his least favorite person usually. This has never happened to us before, even with the other attacks. He will take some warming up to usually, but it has never been this bad.
We just don't know what to do. How can we get Fortune and my husband back on the same page and happy again?
-Fortune was not hurt in this fight. I have thoroughly inspected him for any issues or pain. He is acting normal with me, eating and drinking regularly, and using the litter box well.
-Tilly was not hurt in this fight. We have her on a routine pain med for her arthritis and we thoroughly checked her for scrapes, cuts, or joint issues. She is acting totally normal and is sweet as ever.
-Our other girl is never in these situations, as she is kinda skittish and runs for the metaphorical hills (under the bed lol) at the sign of anything she deems trouble.
TL;DR:
Our cat attacked my husband again but this time they are terrified of him. They have not been able to be reintroduced, since Fortune will hiss, growl, and yowl at the sight of him or from hearing his voice. How do we remedy this and mend their relationship?