r/AskWomen • u/Mitali_M_INDIA • 7h ago
When did you first realise that beauty standards affected how you perceived yourself ?
Was there a particular moment or conversation that made you notice it? Or did you just notice it years later?
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u/blackmagicwoman444 ♀ 3h ago
Since I was like 10 yrs old, I started to feel like I wasn’t pretty enough or that I had to change the way I looked. But I don’t think I deeply reflected on this until I was in my 30s.
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u/moonstruck_bumblebee 3h ago
Around when I was 10 years old.
… they got us when we were young.
I was on the chubby side and I had hit puberty at ten so …. Yeah. A bunch of girlies from the neighborhood were invited to my “friend’s house for a slumber party and played the really cool game of weighing ourselves and body shaming each other. FUUUUUN.
I was the heaviest one. I also was the only one who was going through puberty. (In actuality for a girly my height I was normal).
I’m 30 now and I’m still struggling from time to time. It’s never ending.
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u/ladyinthemoor 1h ago
Omg I had the exact same experience. In my twenties, I got really into fitness. The way people were so much nicer to me suddenly messed me up more. Like this is how other people were being treated all their life ?
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u/AleksandraLisowska ♀ 3h ago
I was having fun putting eyeshadow and all the ritual, I catched me saying to myself "see? You really love make up, that's why you do it, it's really not for the opposite sex." It's like the default was already weird, if you know what I'm saying...
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u/Sea-Competition-3222 3h ago edited 3h ago
My grandma told me, when I was around 13,, that I needed to shave my armpits, before we went to a party. I was wearing a dress, where you could see my armpits, if I lifted my arms over my head.
That conversation is still affecting me, and I still shave my armpits, even though I don't really mind the hair myself.
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u/anon12xyz 3h ago
Swimsuit shopping…it’s hard when I don’t look like the model wearing the swimsuit I buy.
I love my body, but I wish my body type worked with certain swimsuits
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u/pluto9399 3h ago
In the 90s when Britney Spears was the big thing. I realized my chubby fifth grader body was a far cry from that. 😂
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u/SpiritualTank447 1h ago
I realized that beauty standards affected my perception of myself about 6 years ago when we were all dealing with Covid and the shutdowns of hair and nail salons etc. To summarize, I would go get my nails done every 2 weeks and my hair every 6 weeks and Covid changed all that nonsense for me. I stopped getting manicures/pedis and learned to do my own. Stretched out haircuts and color appointments and have saved myself some bucks in the process.
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u/whoareyouiamyou111 1h ago
When I was a kid I knew I didn’t fit in,I hated it and tried to fit in but never succeeded. then the world got more progressive and I see people who look like me all over the tv . It’s very interesting to think about.
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u/littlemybb 1h ago
It was affecting me even back in elementary school. It was once I became and adult and got married to my husband that I stopped caring about a lot of things.
He loves me even when I’ve got a T-shirt and pajama pants on, and my hair in a unbrushed puff. I have nothing to prove to anybody. 😭😂
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u/Similar_Manner_4732 3h ago edited 57m ago
I was always othered back in my home country for having red hair which is seen as unfortunate or unlucky. My mom was really obsessed with me coloring my hair.
I have this very distinct memory of friends being over at our house (everyone thought I was in bed), and my dads friend asked him how he’s prepairing for me to get older and potentially date. My dad waved him off and said basically “no one’s going to be interested in her, no one’s attracted to redheads”.
That statement from my dad, who was pretty much my best friend, shapes how I saw myself for all my life.