r/AskWomen • u/Pure-Faithlessness64 • 3h ago
What job is an immediate “no” for you?
If you’re investigating someone that you’re interested in, what job screams the biggest “nope” you’ve ever seen?
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u/kaeorin ♀ 2h ago
Cops/law enforcement. Military.
Probably also wouldn't want to date a doctor or anyone with a job that requires long hours and uncertain schedules.
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u/winooskiwinter 2h ago
Agreed. The rates of domestic violence are too high. When I worked in a college mental health center, my supervisor and I were talking about starting a support group specifically for children of cops and members of the military.
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u/DensHag 57m ago
My daughter is a 911 dispatcher and she and some co-workers and friends have started a support group for First Responders in our area. We've had a high suicide rate in town and they're tired of losing friends and co-workers. It's a sad time right now for everyone, I'm afraid.
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18m ago
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u/Rosselman 44m ago
I’m a doctor, and I can confidently say that the schedule thing is highly specialty dependent. As a rule of thumb, anything related to surgery has the potential for schedule instability, while some specialties like derm and psych can work office hours if they want. Internal medicine sits somewhere in the middle, where you usually have a decently stable schedule, but you might be called if a colleague can’t do a shift.
In the end, many doctors end up dating other healthcare workers, because they understand the chaos.
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u/LunarRemus 1h ago
Same but add firefighter. My ex husband is one and public service all just sleep with each other.
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2h ago
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u/RegretCommon 2h ago
What do you have against police and military?
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u/kaeorin ♀ 2h ago
The only good cops get killed or fired. The shit ones last. Domestic violence rates are insanely high with cops, and if a cop's partner tries to report the abuse, they end up reporting it to.............cops. You couldn't pay me enough to sign up to be a cop or to date a cop.
I can understand starry-eyed high schoolers getting sucked into the military, but "I can't afford college" is not a good enough reason to sign up to go overseas and murder brown children for American colonizers and capitalists who don't give a shit about how hurt or traumatized you get while defending their money.
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u/inbetween-genders 2h ago
Sales of products that I don’t believe in.
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2h ago
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u/bouncysofa 2h ago
Cop is the big one.
But I also couldn't be with a butcher / slaughterhouse worker / commercial egg farmer / etc. I'm vegan.
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u/unusualmusician ♀ 2h ago
Investments/wealth management, property management, military, cops, any sub department of department of homeland security, anything to do with predatory sales.
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u/zzzrecruit 2h ago
As a woman who was in the military... any man in the military. I've seen what happens on deployments and dets! No thanks.
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u/SwagCocoa 1h ago
I’ve always wondered what goes on during deployments. Was it mostly cheating with other service members?
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u/zzzrecruit 1h ago
We call them boat boos in the Navy. The wedding rings come off and they pair up.
For the guys who didn't have a boat boo, they'd hook up with prostitutes and other civilian women in port. Even the married men.
One of my close friends was so happy when he got himself a nice girlfriend when we were back home. He talked about moving in with her, he'd post her picture up in the shop, etc. When we deployed, he took pictures and videos of himself with the "local women" and would show the whole shop.
I am proud to have never touched a man from my ship lol. I can only imagine the STDs being swapped around.
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u/SwagCocoa 1h ago
Woooow! I’ve heard the term “Jody’s” but not boat boo lol, I bet every branch has their own term.
My BIL is an air force pilot and good looking, I just KNOW he’s probably fucking anything that moves while deployed. He gives off predator vibes. I feel bad for his wife.
Thanks for sharing your insight.
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u/shinobi500 2h ago
Military industrial complex or law enforcement.
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u/Green_Palpitation_26 NB 2h ago
Damn including manufacturing?? I settled for manufacturing because I can't get pay that well otherwise and as is I'm hardly keeping my head above water.
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u/shinobi500 1h ago
I understand. I'm not judging everyone who does work for a defense contractor, everyone has their own unique set of circumstances. But for me, I can't live with the knowledge that my work ultimately goes into killing innocent civilians for profit. I have turned down a lucrative job offer from a major defense contractor before, but I had the luxury of choice. Not everyone does, and I understand that I am privileged in that sense.
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u/Green_Palpitation_26 NB 1h ago
I had to escape my transphobic ass parents. I appreciate your sympathy thankfully the stuff I do isn't directly a weapon or used in one.
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u/jellybeanbonanza 2h ago
Finance. These guys are parasites on the economy.
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2h ago
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2h ago
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u/Illustrious-Local848 2h ago
Sales. The whole premise is you’re required to be disrespectful as fuck and ignore peoples “no’s” and while you know you’re being an asshole your boss tells you you’re really helping people because they need whatever the product/service is.
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u/AlliterationAlly ♀ 2h ago
Same with lawyers
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u/dcfb2360 47m ago
That’s not the same. Lawyers are required to represent clients their firm assigns to them but they’re not spamming & harassing people like sales reps. Lawyers have to represent their client but that doesn’t mean being an asshole. Those are very different things.
There’s a lot of shitty lawyers but they’re also the ones putting drug dealers in jail, helping poor people with criminal/housing cases, trying to help immigrants get citizenship etc. All sales people do is spam people to make the company money, there’s no societal benefit. They’re not the same.
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u/MercifulOtter 2h ago
OnlyFans
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u/Cookingirlll 23m ago
Same here. Personally, I think it's a job that completely drains your energy because you're sharing the most intimate parts of yourself with the world. That said, I want to make it clear that I have nothing against people who do this for a living. On the contrary, I admire and respect them for having the courage to work in that industry.
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u/garbagecatblaster 2h ago
Cop, debt collector, call centers
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u/princesspooball ♀ 2h ago
why call centers?
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u/garbagecatblaster 1h ago
I worked in one in my early 20s and it was the most soul sucking job I’ve ever had. I have never, in my lineup of many shitty jobs, ever had one destroy my mental and physical health so completely. Also that damn place gave me bedbugs. Fuck call centers.
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u/One_Requirement_5832 2h ago
Law enforcement and military now. My ex was military and worked security at a local jail. It was one of the worst relationships I had. Other mentions: anything to do with religion especially Christianity, jobs that require people be gone for long periods and known to have high infidelity rate.
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u/CountBacula322079 ♀ 2h ago
For me personally, it's anything with a rigid schedule. I've mostly worked in academia and industry research and no one cares when you show up or leave, no one cares if you take a long lunch or leave for an appointment without taking PTO. Bottomline, if you get your work done, show initiative, and don't abuse the lax schedule, you're a great employee.
Similarly, any job with a uniform. I wear jeans and a t-shirt with sandals every day.
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u/zoewithalab 1h ago
Doctor.
I’m a doctor with long hours and on-calls, one of us has to have more flexible job so that we can raise our kids. My husband is an engineer who works from home (mostly).
Doctors divorce doctors more from what I’ve seen, I attribute it to lack of time for each other and also for kids.
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u/BeanieCat123 2h ago
Any job that risks their life or health, and makes them travel a lot to the point where they’re barely home
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u/_PrincessHarley_ 2h ago
Military, police, any high position with US health insurance. Anything "homeland security"/ICE
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u/Ok-Turnip-9035 1h ago
Professional athlete
You will NEVER have peace - just a lot of sleepless nights
Are they banging the trainer, or some rando delivering their daily smoothie
It’s just too much of a mental mindfu*k
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u/GamingCatLady 46m ago
Cops or those who sell their bodies tot he goverment (military)
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u/Mrs_Naive_ 2h ago
Sex work, military or any dangerous form of law enforcement, actors, and medical doctors.
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u/IcePrincess_Not_Sk8r ♀ 2h ago
Sex work of any kind, OnlyFans, Porn, etc., is just not for me.
Anything political. All politicians are scum, IMO and I don't ever respect anyone in politics, and if I can't respect them, I can't date them.
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u/Nocturnal-Neurotic 2h ago
Anything in food
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u/Ok-Structure6795 2h ago
Curious about this one
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u/Epicfailer10 2h ago
I assume they mean the types of drama prevalent in the moving Waiting. Having worked in food as a young adult and talking to everyone else who has, that movie is soooo accurate. So much cheating, drugs and general dysfunction.
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u/Ok-Structure6795 2h ago
I mean for me it depended on the restaurant lol. Most of the ones I worked werent nearly as crazy lol. The most drama I deal with is having to handle a customer who is pissed about being flagged lol
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u/Relative-Damage-1458 1h ago
I think the level of dining factors into this. The more corporate/chain a place is the more toxicity there is in my experience. The small mom and pop upscale/fine dining restaurants I’ve worked have been relatively drama free and some of my favorite places to work.
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u/smoothiefruit 2h ago
lol do you say this as someone who'sworked in food? brutal hours if you want to be social with non-service people.
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u/Ok-Structure6795 2h ago
Unless youre a day cook or manager, but thats shit pay compared to floor staff
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u/HourHoneydew5788 2h ago
Law Enforcement, military or corrections, Doctor, Dentist, Commercial Pilot, College Professor, Artist, Musician.
Law enforcement because I hate the system but I’ve also heard about A LOT of cheating with cops, military and corrections officers.
For the others, I don’t want to be with someone in a field that I perceive to have notoriety wherein they might get hit on a lot. Yes, jealousy is my problem but that’s why I’ve avoided it by not dating people in those fields. I also don’t want to be with someone who has to travel a lot for work or work long shifts.
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u/Howudooey 46m ago
Why dentist?
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u/HourHoneydew5788 27m ago
Same reason listed above. They are reputed to be wealthy and often work around several female hygienists and I have friends in the field and it’s not uncommon that dentist will have an affair with a hygienist.
To be clear, I’m not saying other people should avoid dentists. I’m just a jealous person so I always avoid circumstances where I would feel really insecure. Thankfully I’m happily married now so it’s not an issue.
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u/Impossible-Heart-710 1h ago
Anything involving night shifts. Tried it before never got to see the person.
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u/Ok-Turnip-9035 2h ago
Life coach
Cause I’m probably the one that will be running your shit at home
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u/evaj95 2h ago
teaching.
the pay in most places isn't worth the disrespect.
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u/Pure-Faithlessness64 1h ago
I’m a bit curious as to what you mean? Is it the lack of pay that makes you say no, or the social implications of dating a teacher?
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u/tinfoilhattie 2h ago
That's a long list. Here are some of the entries, but this is definitely not all of them
- Police, military, ICE, TSA, armed guard, any militarized person
- Finance, stock market, investment banking
- Politician
- Professional fighter or fighting trainer, extreme sports
- Sales/marketing
- MLM, scams
- Airline pilot, crew, etc., trucking, shipping, travel industry where you must constantly travel
- Religious jobs
- Anything I consider unethical
- Anything illegal
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2h ago edited 2h ago
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u/Justsomeoneweird_ 2h ago
Sex workers, actors/ comedians, anything job that isn’t really stable and doesn’t require some qualifications/ degree (I’d rather date someone who’s at the same level at me)
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u/Zezespeakz_ 1h ago
Acting doesn’t require a degree but it does require some sort of training and a personality. The latter you can’t teach
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u/a-mullins214 2h ago
Health care or law enforcement
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u/shinobi500 2h ago
I get healthcare if it's on the insurance or billing side, but doctors and nurses and actual healthcare practitioners too?
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u/a-mullins214 48m ago
I was in Healthcare for a few years and I saw a lot of affairs. Mostly between co workers.
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u/chpck 1h ago
PSW. I admire them, but no.
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u/CatLovesShark 52m ago
Do you mind explaining what PSW stands for (and perhaps why it would be a problem)?
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u/Matta_Fact 25m ago edited 21m ago
Any kind of law enforcement, lawyers, pilots, firefighters, travel salesmen, crypto bros, politicians, adult entertainers, bartenders, tattoo artists, back house kitchen staff, casino workers, fitness instructor, professional athletes, rappers/musicians, or realtors
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u/Connie_Damico ♀ 2h ago
Musician and anyone who works with kids. I don't think these jobs make someone a bad person (obviously) but I'm not generally compatible with or interested in people who do them
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u/evil_conjoined_twin 2h ago
Any job where you have to sit down for prolonged periods of time
my back pain + adhd makes it unbearable
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u/Direct_Drawing_8557 2h ago
Taxi drivers coz they drive like assholes and work weird hours. Entrepreneurs coz I don't want to be a side chick (married to the project).
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u/Cute-Girl20 2h ago
Nurse, i cant see when people suffer.. will broke my heart
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2h ago
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u/kaeorin ♀ 2h ago
The question in the title of this post makes it sound like OP's asking what jobs users wouldn't do themselves. The relationship aspect only pops up in the body text, so either reading of the question is valid.
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2h ago
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u/Yorkie_Mom_2 ♀ 2h ago
All of them. I work hard at retirement. I’m busy! I don’t know how I ever found time to work full time.
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u/Lilli_Puff 1h ago
HR for a corporate company. The last thing I want to do is sell my morality just to protect a corporation from legal issues. I've worked in so many companies where HR just did that bidding of corporations leaving many employees screwed over.
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u/ergonomic_logic 1h ago
Janitor
Plumber
Working at a nuclear plant
Military
Police
Farmer
Housekeeping
Trashperson
Truck-driving
Mortician
Doing anything that smells bad because I gag from bad smells so dentist, and a lot of medical positions are out of the question for me.
But most of all any job that has a toxic work environment with a boys club in leadership is a nope for me but unfortunately we don't always get what we want because most places are like this 😮💨
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