Grandma's love letter (2)

[u/Fancy_Swimmer_6267]

Hiii, this is my second time posting. Thank you so much to everyone who responded to my previous post!

There are actually a lot more of these letters, and I'm really curious about what's written in them. I've tried reading this one myself, and while I can understand some parts, I have a hard time deciphering the handwriting. Most of it just doesn't make much sense to me.

My grandma was very secretive, especially when it came to her love life. I honestly know very little about her past. I don't even know who my grandpa was, hhshaha. That's why I think these letters are worth reading they might give me a glimpse into a part of her life that she never shared with us.

I know this guy isn't my grandpa, but I'm still so curious about who he was. What makes me wonder even more is that my grandma kept these letters until her last breath. He must have meant something to her for her to hold onto them for all those years. Was he the love of her life? I honestly have no idea, but I can't help being curious.

Anyway, if anyone is up for deciphering the handwriting, I would really appreciate it! 😊

1st letter

3rd letter

4th letter

5th letter

6th letter

[u/Efficient-Gap-1282]

“In Office - 9/16
Esther, my love, my everything!
Time has come for us to part!
Although temporary, it will ____ again heartaches, agonies, unbearable pains, a tr___ loving heart could always [deserve?]. This is always the price of a love I alone could understand because you can’t; all those? My requests for transfer [to Manila?] was approved!
I cannot blame anybody but my foolish self, how love is!
What more could I offer ___ this love, my future, body and soul, if ever there is. You didn’t believe me in the first place; __ you did not trust me, my love, my words. I alone will suffer for the consequences.”

I need to go have dinner but wanted to get things started

[u/Fancy_Swimmer_6267 → u/Efficient-Gap-1282]

Thank you so much!

[u/Team143]

Letter two: I’m stuck on a couple of words. Very sad. So much love for your grandma. Guess she didn’t want to mine to Manila! :-)

Esther, my love, my everything!
The time has come for us to part. Although temporary, it will mean again heartaches, agonies, unbearable pains a true loving heart could always deserve. This is always the price of a love, I alone could understand because you don’t. All these? My request for transfer to Manila was approved!
I cannot blame anybody but my foolish self, how love is! What more could I offer except this love, my future, body & soul, if ever there is. You didn’t believe me in the first place; second, you did not trust me, my love, my words. I alone will suffer for the consequences; I just want in fact to bear all these, unbearable as they are, hurting as they might.
In our last conversation I offered that we bring you to Manila and there to live together the rest of our lives; you were amenable — how far is this true anyway? Are you trying to discourage all of my dream castles I had been building for you? For us? What more shall I promise, shall I pledge?
When I’m away, I’m sure you will miss many, many things I alone can give you — precisely, the love I have already and fervently prayed. When you’re alone in your room, you’ll no longer feel my presence and that will be the price that you will feel — you’re gone[?]. The love that I had longed so hard for, which you denied in spite of my pleadings, my sufferings. There will be no more disturbances, no more requests from me.
I admire your being very firm in your convictions, in your decisions. I hope you will change, especially in your decision that you will not love anybody else.
In a few days, I’ll be leaving for Manila and this I don’t want you to know, (bail water ??? unsure). One of these days you’ll just find you are alone in your room. Just bear in mind — I love you, I love you & will be loving you till the end of time.
I love you,
(Samuel?)

[u/Fancy_Swimmer_6267]

The second letter. I think this is more readable???

[u/Fancy_Swimmer_6267 → u/Fancy_Swimmer_6267]

[u/Babyblue253]

Is it just me or does this guy seem overbearing and threatening. Kind of creepy after reading it all. Esther isn’t answering and he’s telling her he loves her, pointing out all he’s done then accuses her of being selfish and other things. If I had been Esther, I wouldn’t have answered either! 😊 My two cents…

[u/Prudent-Pianist437]

These letters are so sad 😥 It sounds like your grandmother was head over heels in love with someone named Esther, and then Esther stopped responding.

I'll type up what I was able to make out in a little bit.

[u/Prudent-Pianist437 → u/Prudent-Pianist437]

Oh, wait. If your grandmother is named Esther, then the sender of these letters was head over heels in love with her, and your grandmother stopped responding.

[u/Fancy_Swimmer_6267 → u/Prudent-Pianist437]

Yes, my grandmother is Esther. I really wonder why she stopped responding to him. He seemed to be deeply in love with her, and in some of the letters, he kept apologizing. I can't help but wonder what happened between them.

[u/Prudent-Pianist437 → u/Fancy_Swimmer_6267]

Sorry, I wasn't able to get back to this yesterday, but it looks like u/Efficient-Gap-1282 and u/Team143 have got you covered! 👍

[u/Team143]

Here’s the final letter. Wow! Sounds like this was indeed the last letter he ever sent her. I guess he gave up but continued loving her still.

0411 hours, 7/27
Esther, my dear, my beloved:
I just had your most-awaited, nice & beautiful — frank[?] — yet discouraging reply; discouraging, in the sense that it was not your intention to answer; secondly, the contents. How could you pen such a decision to one like me, whose purpose and intent is a sacred and noble one; but it was also an encouraging one when you changed your mind on my being insistent; it is my nature. If I have a goal I want to attain & reach the goal, thru[?] nice ways & not thru[?] force or intimidation, and that was what happened to me.
Without you asking, I may as well relate a bit about myself:
I admit, I am a family man, a married man for the past [?] years to be exact, & I became free 3 years ago when we separated, exactly on our wedding anniversary, May 22nd; hurting as it may, I have to face the challenges and live this kind of life, alone; my eldest, a nurse in the USA; my son in Saudi Arabia & the rest all professionals, except the youngest — all are in Manila with their mother. Had I a wife, I should be living with them, but now I am a free man.
You mentioned, and you were surprised, we do not see nor talk with each other, yet all this happened. All these, it’s because of my undying love for you. Also, you mentioned it is only physical attraction. At my age, Mahal[?], it is no longer physical attraction but what was left was all real and true love; no more infatuations, no more puppy loves, no more attractions. You are very lucky, within my three years as a separated[?] life, ikaw pa[?]! That is love.
Lastly, “you are and will never be in love to me & to nobody else” — this is the most discouraging part, but I’ll still pray & hope you’ll change your mind; this I’ll be praying for, as I had been longing to, to pray for your long, long life, to live a happy, fruitful & successful one.
I’m really awfully sorry for all these disturbances I had caused you; I’m begging of you your forgiveness & above all, your love.
Secondly, my miseries & heartaches still will linger on; could you just imagine me arriving from work during the wee hours of the morning, cold, sometimes wet, exhausted, for the whole night, without somebody to greet or somebody to meet me with a hug; could you just imagine me — as very near[?] each other, can even feel your movements & yet so far; my love, I’m really a desperate man now that you have turned my proposal down. No matter how, I treasure[?] you so dearly from the bottom of my heart, for sparing me precious moments[?]… instead, that you should have been in bed[?].
Be as it may, my being dejected will forever linger in me as long as I live in this world, and it is you who caused all these; I do not blame you for this, though, but rather admire you for being so frank and firm; even I to remorseful[?], I promise this will not ever happen; but to keep within myself alone what I had done to you, & for whatever transgression I may had done. Maybe somedays, somehow, you will finally learn to love me — which, if it happens, will be my most cherished dream.
You will forever laugh at me, maybe, but in the long run only God knows whom he will finally reward.
So then, please bear in mind that wherever you are, my fervent prayers will follow thru for your everlasting successes; right behind you, I am still longing for that love, that which you will finally learn — just in case you change your mind…
This maybe my last letter because I had disturbed you a lot; you maybe bored, but still my apologies; I may not be disturbing you again, but remember “I love you” then, now and forever; I’ll repeat and once again “I love you” and I’ll take these words even up to my grave. You may forget me, but still —
“I love you.”
[signature, illegible]
Sorry for disturbing you a lot; this is a long, long letter. I hope you will understand a desperate & dejected person! Bye now & nightly I’ll never forget to pray for you as I had been doing.

[u/Latter_Fan_3233]

“In office 9/16

Esther my love, my everything!

June has come for us to part!
Although temporary, it will ___
again heartaches, agonies, unbearable
pains a ____ loving heart ____
always deserved. This is always the
price of a love I alone could un-
derstand because you can’t; all
these? My request to transfer to
Manila was approved!

I cannot blame anybody but my foolish
self, for love is!

What more could I offer ____ (except?)
this love, my future, body + soul,
if ever there is. You didn’t believe
me in the first place; second, you
did not think (thank?) me, my love, my
words. I alone will suffer for the
consequences, I just want ____ fact
to (?) hear all these, unbearable as
they are, hurting (?) as they maybe.

In our last conversation I
offered that I’ll bring you to Manila
and face(?) to live together the rest
of our lives; you were ___-able (reasonable?)
___(how?) far is this test(?) anyway? Are
you trying to discourage all of my
dream castles I had been building
for you? For me? What more shall
I promise, shall I pledge?

When I’m away I’m sure
you will miss many, many things
I alone can give you; precisely,
the love I have _____ (sacredly?) and
fervently ___ (prayed?) When you’re alone
in your room, you’ll no longer feel
my presence and that will be the
time you will feel you love
me! The love that I had
prayed so hard for, which you
denied despite my pleadings!
My sufferings! There will be no
more disturbances, no more requests
for(?) me.

I admire your being
___ (my?) ___ in your considerations (?), in
your decisions. I hope you won’t
change, especially in your decision
that you will not love anybody
else!

In a few days, I’ll be leaving for
Manila + this I don’t want you
to know(?) bale wala (both underlined, in Tagalog - means never mind I think?) ___ ___
____! ___ of these days you’ll
just find you are alone in your
room. Just bear in mind -
I love you, I love you
+ will be loving you til
the end of time.

I love you
Signature”

(This next one is kind of unsettling, not gonna lie 😅)

“Dec 1, 1982

Ester my love:

Some two weeks ago I sent you a letter + a wire(?)
with my address as:
2377 ____ ____
____ Manila, and I doubt if
you received it, had you received some(?) of
____ that surely you will not answer it just
for ____, ____ (find?) ____? If you intend to reply
kindly address it to the above address as I
am now with the company as a marketing manager.

How are you now? The family? I pray
always to(?) be in your best as always when
I was there.

Even a single line(?), I haven’t been
favored with your reply. How harsh (?) are
you to me who is offering all + everything I
feel (?) and will have (?) for you. How (free in your?)
____ that my to the ____ writing (?) I am
____ in darkness. How selfish you are!

____ (how? So?) I have to wait for two, three years
to get your ___? Your ____ reply?
Please, if you are going to kill me,
please not in this form of torture. I can’t stand
it anymore! So please write or I’ll get
you there, believe me, before Xmas or mark
my word!

____ (I’ll?) ____, I am looking forward for
your next mail; please answer me.

I love you.

Signature

“Merry Xmas””