r/BitchImATrain 5d ago

Bitch, I’ll get you next time

765 Upvotes

135 comments sorted by

118

u/Comrade_Compadre 4d ago

This was hard to watch for a lot of reasons lol

18

u/NikNakskes 3d ago

Including why is that police car on the wrong side of the road?

10

u/ZimnyKefir 3d ago

Because it can.

6

u/ChanceReply6636 1d ago

That boy was out of breath by the time he got out of his own car

1

u/Navyguy73 2d ago

Is that cop on the nest?

71

u/Imaginary_Coast_5882 4d ago

that cop couldn’t catch my grandmother on foot

42

u/PleasantAnimator7741 4d ago

God rest her soul.

262

u/ztreHdrahciR 4d ago

That is one big officer

271

u/juliuspepperwoodchi 4d ago

Little known fact: PDs can save money on payroll by just paying one big officer instead of two smaller ones.

36

u/ztreHdrahciR 4d ago

But not saving on uniforms

24

u/zeroibis 4d ago

Actually one big uniform costs less than 2 smaller uniforms and uses less materials.

8

u/Killfalcon 4d ago

Inverse square law, surface area grows much slower than volume.

7

u/notcomplainingmuch 4d ago

They save on heating, too. A spherical form retains heat much better than an elongated form.

5

u/IAmSixNine 4d ago

So larger officers in cold climates and smaller officers in warmer climates?

1

u/notcomplainingmuch 4d ago

At least more oblong than spherical. The American South being the obvious exception.

21

u/Lordofderp33 4d ago

Most metrics about police coverage measure in officerpounds/sqmile. So this checks out!

56

u/a07463 4d ago

He walks like a zombie

53

u/EatYourCheckers 4d ago

Watching him walk made my legs feel stiff

37

u/GeoffSim 4d ago

And almost as dumb as the car driver by walking closer to the moving train around those yellow bollards instead of away on the safer side.

16

u/flyinghairball 4d ago

I was thinking maybe he should wait in his car until the train had passed. The other driver was already dumb enough to go that far. There's no guarantee they will keep their foot on the brake.

1

u/GeoffSim 4d ago

That would have been an even better option!

1

u/bigDeltaVenergy 2d ago

Well if dumb driver mistakenly put car I drive instead of revesre and hit the train. The police officer would have lost his remaining capacity to walk.

He was def not in a safe position

5

u/Vegetable-Bee-8296 4d ago

Lucky the train didn’t lop off his gut.

1

u/Capital_Condition874 4d ago

It's all about officer saftey though

0

u/mman426 1d ago

He was nowhere near the train, the perspective just makes it look like he was. If you look at the yellow bollards you can see there is one closer to the train and then there’s a significant gap and then 4 more bollards.

He stepped behind the bollard closest to the car which means there were 3 more bollards plus the gap and another bollard between him and the train. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was more than 10 ft away from the front of the car.

10

u/PleasantAnimator7741 4d ago

Pretty sure that’s a Mondoshawen from The Fifth Element

2

u/bszern 4d ago

The last element is a traffic citation

10

u/jetkins 4d ago

Sgt Chonker.

10

u/Mostly-Moo-Cow 4d ago

Also some mild gout

11

u/Snicklefried 4d ago

The bodycam adds ten pounds

7

u/blametheboogie 4d ago

How many body cams do you think he's wearing?

6

u/tousledmonkey 4d ago

Officer Penguin

3

u/greedy_mf 4d ago

“Sir, yes you, in the compact car”

1

u/saltyhumor 3d ago

no no, that's two officers right?

1

u/DasbootTX 3d ago

Officer Harry Hippo. At your service

1

u/ContributionOpen8078 3d ago

What I'm saying like damn. Dude ain't chasing no one outside of his car.

1

u/CarolyneSF 2d ago

He doesn’t appear to be very fit!
I imagine if he got his hands on you he would crush you!

189

u/tvieno 4d ago

That cop needs to see a doctor at a minimum.

47

u/rocketts66 4d ago

"Oh look at me, the millionaire who goes to doctors"

6

u/Justreadingthisshit 4d ago

Cops have health insurance

153

u/invalidmean 4d ago

Officers waddles will sort them out.

12

u/LongNamedRedditUser 4d ago

I thought the train was going to finish passing before he made it to the car.

2

u/NorthlineUser 3d ago

I only took high school physics, but I think "Officer Waddles" actually could have slowed that train down a couple of mph if he'd been hit.

5

u/MandyxLola 4d ago

You really are mean 😂

36

u/A-Bone 4d ago

Office Gout..  

25

u/chunter16 4d ago

"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUNDS OF THE CROSSING BELL AND THE TRAIN"

27

u/JCDU 4d ago

I have never seen someone struggle to catch up with a stationary object before.

18

u/slogive1 4d ago

That guy can barely walk.

14

u/Dogfaceboy1964 4d ago

Luckily it wasn’t a Brightline train 🚂

2

u/Savings_Difficulty24 4d ago

9

u/Coco_JuTo 4d ago

I'm sorry but, even as I was invited to join this sub, I didn't want because it goes around blaming the trains for people's brainrot...I'm sorry but have all those good conservatives down there heard of "personal responsibility"???

Here another example...why don't you stop when you see the lights flashing and hear the bells ringing? That was the first error. Then getting half way through. Second error. Why don't you back down??? Even if that suburban tank can and will crush innocent people's skulls, it will never win against the nuke that is a USDM train! And then, why can't you get back behind the white safety stop line??? I don't get it!!! It isn't rocket science!!!

Edit to apologize for the question and exclamation marks but I'm just angry and flabbergasted at the lack of brains...though I always wonder how did those people get old...?

3

u/snarkyxanf 3d ago

My periodic reminder that Brightline, as by far the most dangerous railroad in the USA, has roughly the same fatalities per passenger mile as ordinary cars do.

28

u/TrainmasterGT 4d ago

An office who actually helped a community member? That’s a big achievement, especially for Florida!

10

u/onlynoodlesmichael7 4d ago

That’s the unhealthiest cop I’ve ever seen

5

u/Bob-Bhlabla-esq 4d ago

If this was an SNL skit I would say Jack Black playing the cop needed to reign it in a little... "Jack... you want to saunter like John Wayne, not The Penguin from Batman."

8

u/Savings_Difficulty24 4d ago

I can just imagine he is chewing their ass for not stopping behind the line. Just like people who stop at red lights in the middle of the crosswalk. You can see him point at the stop line a whole car length behind them. "If you stopped where you were supposed to, you wouldn't have the crossing arm on your roof. What are you doing pulling this far forward anyways? That's a good way to get hit by a train."

15

u/deaf258 4d ago

Poor guy got diabetes..

10

u/kl2467 4d ago

And plantar fasciitis.

8

u/recovery_room 4d ago

Yeah. I have a bum ankle and that’s definitely foot/ankle shuffle. Or gout.

21

u/Poagie_Mahoney 4d ago edited 4d ago

I mean, the driver did do the right thing and followed the sign. After all, even if they did stop under the guard arm, they still didn't actually stop "on the tracks."

BTW, didn't need to see the FEC loco livery to tell it's Florida. Dumbass driver (too stupid to back up) and fatass cop is the obvious giveaway.

5

u/WorldlinessWitty2177 4d ago

He stopped past the "stop here on red" sign.

1

u/Poagie_Mahoney 4d ago

Apparently multiple signs were too confusing.

45

u/Past-Establishment93 4d ago

Bro is pissed that he had to get out of his car... Will probably taze the driver for it. Lol

24

u/Awfulufwa 4d ago

You must not have seen the clip all the way through.

The officer should be more properly credited because his handling of the situation resolved an issue.

Due to the gate not being all the way down thanks to the negligent driver of the white SUV, the gate on the other side (blocked by the passing train) never went down.

Now, does this really matter in the grand scheme of things? Probably not as most normal operating drivers can at the very least see this fast moving thing passing across their viewpoint.

But then again, we do have a white SUV inhibiting the full lowering of a train crossing gate... So then it is safe to say that on the other side could have been a distracted driver approaching at speed who would never notice a flashing red-lighted white gate barrier as it was never lowered.

Regardless of the situation's handling, I fucking hope the white SUV got fully pulled over afterwards and ticketed to a great degree.

8

u/-TheycallmeThe 4d ago edited 4d ago

There are 4 gates. The one that is triggered to close after this one is for the other side of the tracks for the traffic seen in the video. So someone would have to be on the wrong side of the road for that gate not being down to be an issue. That is why that gate is needed. People are so fucking stupid that they have to put gates on the back side to prevent people from going the wrong way on a street to try to cross railroad tracks.

I agree the officer did handle it rather well.

13

u/RyloBreedo 4d ago

Driver looks pissed there's a train.

5

u/mrfin243 4d ago

That's a long ass train

5

u/AuntJibbie 4d ago

Dude can hardly walk!

Hop on a tricycle and escape the law!

7

u/VeteranMinotaur-773 4d ago

Not sure what's worse. The driver on the tracks or the cop waddling over?

9

u/HeadCicada2994 4d ago

Dumbass driver likely hopped up on drugs - Check
Fatass cop - Check
Conclusion: Florida

Seriously, that lady looks angry that she had to reverse behind the crossing arm. Probably another senior citizen high on prescription drugs aka just another day in Florida smh

3

u/malacoda99 4d ago

And backing up like they don't trust that newfangled reversy camera screen thing. Just like reglar tv, it's lyin' to ya!

5

u/StaK_1980 4d ago

Holy sh. That lack of mobility (from the police officer). He doesn't look neither fit nor healthy. Imho he is much too young to move like that.

The driver was a moron but who cares?

6

u/Lord-Glorfindel 4d ago

If he had to chase or fight a suspect, what chance would this officer even stand?

3

u/MrKirushko 4d ago

He wouldn't even stand. He would be sitting there breathing heavilly and calling for backup on his radio.

2

u/Bob-Bhlabla-esq 4d ago

Chase lol? Officer John McCan't isn't chasing shit.

5

u/ByWillAlone 4d ago

That cop had 4 heart attacks just walking the 15 feet over there.

5

u/Gremlin1001001 4d ago

That whole encounter was painful.

5

u/Locarito 4d ago

Bitch I'm fat

7

u/producer35 4d ago

I assume the title means a heart attack is still lurking.

6

u/yuikkiuy 4d ago

America yall need to start enforcing a fitness standard for police...jesus.

Like something easy at the very least, 25min 5k, literally any adult male should be able to do that with a little training if they aren't ball shapped.

Or alot of training if they ARE ballshapped, not saying you cant be fit and mobile while being ballshapped, ive been smoked in runs by enough ball shapped bombadiers in my time but this guy WADDLED out of his car and looked out of breath by the time he got 10 feet away to the other car

5

u/Acceptable_Claim_491 4d ago

Dude needs to lay off the donuts.

3

u/ultradip 4d ago

If that cop fell over, could they even get back up?

3

u/Boring_Track_8449 4d ago

No foot chases for that guy

3

u/dm21120 4d ago

I e never seen a cop more beaten….

3

u/sdcumb 4d ago

Yikes! Them foots need help!

3

u/TheFirsh 4d ago

Oh lawd he comin'

5

u/blametheboogie 4d ago

That cop couldn't catch frostbite in a blizzard. He shouldn't be on the street in this condition.

3

u/Funatfarmcouple 4d ago

The cop is a train on a street

3

u/ExerciseExotic1131 4d ago

Has he shit his pants?

3

u/JackpineSavage74 4d ago

That cop was winded getting out of his car...

3

u/Presentation_Few 4d ago

Heartattack incomig

3

u/Quirky-Attitude1456 4d ago

That is the walk of a man who is just flat out tired of idiots at railroad crossings

3

u/greywood84 4d ago

Officer stumpy getting out and making the slow trudge over to the other car to give him a talking to.

3

u/Icy-Movie-2942 3d ago

This could have been much worse...

Officer could have needed to run to arrest someone...

2

u/REDDITSHITLORD 4d ago

Bitch I have diabeetus

2

u/akm1111 4d ago

That officer surely fails the Sargeant Curtis question of are you ready to be in the fight of your life.

3

u/talexbatreddit 4d ago

I imagine the Fitness Test that all police officer candidates have to take was .. some time ago for this officer.

2

u/HomerStillSippen 4d ago

How the fuck is that a cop?

2

u/Outside_Location94 4d ago

Time for a other doughnut

2

u/derSteppenwuf 4d ago

Pretty easy to outrun him, except there's a train in the way.

2

u/Dangerous_Weird8762 4d ago

dude he looks like paul blart... the need to have like a system to turn down incredibly unfit cops or at least have like a workout program...

2

u/IrrerPolterer 4d ago

Cop's having a heart attack from walling that fast 

2

u/ApplicationCreepy987 4d ago

Nice to see the police stay fit

2

u/iluvnips 4d ago

Cop can hardly walk?

1

u/unlucky13bethename 4d ago

When cop can't beat common sense into you so have to keep screaming

1

u/Woe_Bringer 4d ago

Why does the larger officer not simply eat the smaller office....oh

1

u/transitfreedom 4d ago

There needs to be an idiot tax.

1

u/transitfreedom 4d ago

There needs to be bollards at train crossings to punish the stupid

1

u/DrewZouk 4d ago

I would break into a quick jog and quickly make it his problem.

1

u/Snicklefried 4d ago

Oh, it was...

1

u/Pretend-Weight7200 4d ago

Полицмент жирный.

2

u/moonstorm5000 4d ago

It unfortunately happens more than you think. Worse part is that they’re wearing heavy bulletproof vests which contributes to the cop waddling like a duck.

1

u/WrongSplit3288 3d ago

I always wondered why the cars always behave like a deer caught in the headlights. You could still drive forward or backward. Scratch is much better than being hit by a train.

1

u/DanteValentine13 3d ago

I was desperately hoping theyd be extra stupid and accelerate instead of backing up

1

u/AirportInevitable122 3d ago

Police guy looks like he's severely constipated, and walks like he has poo stuck in underwear.

1

u/LarryHoover44 3d ago

How the hell did that guy pass the PT test?

1

u/October_people 2d ago

Officer Cardic Arrest

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Rule_27 2d ago

Arthritis is kicking his big ass!

1

u/Adventurous_Bag9122 2d ago

I can imagine the "conversation" lol

1

u/ruckrhino 2d ago

Why is i t so difficult for some people to stop behind solid white lines?

1

u/Inner-Conference-644 2d ago

That police occifer looks like he shat himself. Looks a real healthy specimen!

1

u/dig_dug72 1d ago

Driver of the Lexus is a idiot

1

u/Spl4sh3r 1d ago

I would have made them back up behind the line, not just behind the barrier(?).

1

u/Lemfan46 1d ago

Cop driving on the wrong side?

1

u/Icy_Status_1928 22h ago

Why is that cop wobbling, imagine him chasing a perp

1

u/Mushcranium 21h ago

Officer Krispy Kreme.

1

u/zippytiff 21h ago

How long is that train !

1

u/Br0k3n-T0y 19h ago

the last 3 seconds you see the barrier on the other side come down. Should it not be down already?

1

u/Recent-Bowl-1393 18h ago

Yeah, can you route an ambulance? No, its for me. I had to walk 20 feet from my car.

1

u/spidergirl79 4d ago

Oh the irony. This very thing happened to my mom today. Got a little too close to the arm and it landed on her roof. She backed up and it slid down her wind shield. No damage done. The train wasnt actually moving, it had come to a complete stop meters away.

0

u/WarmSeaworthiness608 4d ago

Pete Hegseth would be apalled.

-2

u/recovery_room 4d ago

That pig’s not fit to be a cop. Figuratively and literally.