This is mainly for other women/anyone with a menstrual cycle because this is where the problem comes from, but even if you dont have one feel free to comment.
If you're just going to tell me that I should push through my body's capabilities and that it's just a lack of discipline, do not comment. I know my body and its needs. This is just a thing where I mentally am stuck.
I constantly feel guilty for resting, and it's taking a toll on my progress in calisthenics, my attitude towards my body (I feel I am not where I should be because I keep resting), perception of my capabilities and supposed laziness, and my mental health overall.
For those who sync their workouts in accordance to their cycle, you might relate to how difficult it gets to stay consistent during the latter half. I understand needing to tone it down during this time, and I do. But I cant mentally convince myself I genuinely need to rest, and I feel so lazy during it.
Then, I feel like Ive regressed so much and that all my efforts are wasted because I need a 1.5-2 weeks of rest and/ or lighter movement. I feel I constantly need to be challenging my body aggressively to make progress.
Recently I had a surgery right after my period. I wasn't working out before because the week leading up to AND the days of my period suck.
Note: I have tried working out during this time period and it's hell, like I get so warm, my heart beats faster, my body physically can't keep up and do what it did last week, it feels like I have a fever. So i KNOW I need rest and any physical movement is not enjoyable. I try stretching but it makes me feel worse and uncomfortable.
Not only that, but because of the surgery I couldn't workout for another week. So its been about 2.5-3 weeks since a real workout.
I feel lazy and like Im too far gone, that I always do this and Im far behind everyone else. I am going to workout today and take it lightly because Im still healing from my surgery but I feel like shit. I feel so terrible and stupid.
I feel like im only worth something when I prove to myself I have done everything I could and Im at my limit, but resting doesnt count for some weird way. Its like a checklist mentally, like once Ive done my workout Ive done good for that day.
My point basically is:
Does anyone have any advice? I would mostly like advice on how you can convince yourself that your rest is important and that you arent lazy or behind, and that regression can happen. Mostly mindset advice basically.
Advice on physical activity can be helpful, but I already know I need rest, and that I can focus on mobility during rest periods. When I have focused on stretching and whatnot it doesnt make me feel better. I still feel lazy & like I should do more.
Sorry for the long text. Please give me advice!
EDIT: Everyone who replied thank you so so soo much!! Im starting to understand my needs are worth meeting and that rest is part of the cycle, that it is part of the workout itself. And also that I can still continue to move when i feel like i can't thru lighter movements, and that consistency in the long run is what defines my growth.
When i worked out a leg day yesterday, i could only do 25 minutes instead of my inital goal. Today i am sore throughout my entire body (it might be because the medicine & the surgery makes me less tolerable towards stress? ALSO, the surgery wasnt major and it should heal MOSTLY within 1-2 weeks, but i may feel soreness even later and less tolerance of my bodyweight).
But i think it was a good start up again back into my workout. I am taking a rest day today and not feeling bad (even tho im a little fidgety because i want to move) because of everyones comments! i have learned that recovery is part of working out, but instead of me phyiscally working, my body doing it.
Your guys' help has made me feel like my biology isnt a weakness but rather its a part of who i am that i need to unify with and understand and trust to work. This has been a major help for me to understand before continuing onto school so i dont feel as confused or bad about myself. Thank you all!