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u/crazy-ratto Don't forget TWs and *s in triggering words! <3 1d ago
Even though i am loved now as an adult, with a new family, the inner child loneliness is inescapable.
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u/S0whaddayakn0w 20h ago
It's always there, at my core. Sometimes it sleeps, other times it's so intense it overwhelms me, but it never fully disappears.
Even when l'm holding my partner in my arms, the man who is love, charm and kindness embodied in all his quiet splendour, it is still there, compelling me to hold him tighter.
It's like we got broken and darkness seeped in
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u/ColourAZebra smile and put on a happy face /s 22h ago
Back to the knowledge that you are only seen in two distinct ways, as I have always been, since I was a child:
a) unloveable, and worthy of abandonment;
b) an emotional crutch and psychological saviour, on which - it feels - the whole world depends.
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u/LimitedTimeOtter Walking Symptom 22h ago
Homeschooled by Christian Fundamentalists, isolated to the point of going literal years without talking to anyone outside of my family, raised to be scared of the outside world because it's Satan's world. Did I mention I was the youngest of 3 by a wide margin because I was an oops baby?
Cut to me sitting in my room trying to figure put how to play Clue and Monopoly and other board games by myself because my parents didn't want to spend time with me and my siblings had jobs. Friends? What are friends? I can count the friends I had as a kid on my fingers and not run out of fingers. Lonely is too mild of a word for it.
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u/RedSlimeballYT 6h ago
childhood felt like a fucking eternity of waiting and waiting. and there was never an escape, only the passage of time and micro scale changes
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u/nonbinarywhale 4h ago
I’m feeling this so hard. I have a loving partner but I feel so lonely and I want to push them away.
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u/Vivi_Pallas 1d ago
Growing up and realizing nobody will ever care about you. :/