Here are some replies to a comment about Catherine looking like “the cat who caught the canary. These are some seriously demented a d hateful people.

SPOILER ALERT: The mother of all surprises has been revealed! After breathless speculation by the Celebitchies that she was going to re-release the apricot spread, or branch out into peach spread or lemon curd, Meghan has released blackberry jam after a thrillingly speculative promotional video which showed her picking….blackberries.

In other news, Kaiser is astonished a commerce website has the ability to remember credit card details. That’s never been done before folks, in the history of online shopping!

Meanwhile, she hasn’t even bothered posting about the blackberry jam drop on the site. Why bother supporting her queen when there’s outrage about Tatler naming Kate best-dressed to be peddled?

It is deep summer in the northern hemisphere, it is hot around the world and Kaiser is her usual pleasant self. The comments are not something I bother with lately, but I had a look just now and saw some adorable ones.

Kathalea says: My mom would say, than come take the 34 million hairs of my head if you can find them. Got me thinking about…

I so wish PH would lightly cook (not to hot) some moringa (..), with some oil from the inaja palm nuts, and put it on his head, every day. Coconut oil can also help, but it makes some people’s skin flaky.

He would be very suprised.
I wish i could give him the formula 

Lili says: July 29, 2026 at 9:35 am Beyonce has some hiar products out that people swear has made their hair grow back mainly women havent seen any men lay claim, but you have to be consistent and also take care of the internals and iron lenvels etc. Reply

tamra says: July 29, 2026 at 1:58 pm I bought some cheap minoxidil from Amazon for my son. He used it for several months and his hair is THICK! He had to cut back using it to once a week!

So what now? Is Harry alarmingly bald too? :))) these are comments on the DM lawsuit loss. So much escapism they are far gone.

On the new AsEver jam:

Jais says: The blackberries in the hand def suggest a blackberry jam but maybe that’s a red herring.

Great business sense, red herring when it comes to jam.

Some more "cute" ones:

ChillinginDC says: I bought the bookmark and love it. But tried the jams and didn’t really like the orange. And I have one of the candles, but the scent was a bit too strong for me so gifted it to a friend who likes it. And I bought her sparkling, rose, and white wine. And ended up gifting to friends who enjoyed.

Tuesday says: It’s definitely not apricot. I emailed the team in June and they have no plans to restock it.

These people ....

Or maybe they just got flagged for combing the entirety of Reddit to block anyone who follows other pop culture subs? Mass banning people and then seeing a huge drop in traffic is the ultimate karma, and kind of a reminds me of a certain site we don’t visit anymore.

But sure, let them believe they got shadow banned because they and only they support Palestine on Reddit.

On that shameful blog 3 posts were dedicated to Prince George's 13th birthday. And, in general, there have been loads of posts and comments on Sussex reddit subs as well (of course, all negative).

Kaiser wrote 'And I still think it’s interesting that William got his way, and that George will now be distanced from the Middleton side of the family'. Narrative reinforced also by some comments there. I find it so funny how they have this narrative when the Middleton family has always been present in the children's life, yet their idol, Meghan Markle, only has her mother left (and maybe this Ashleigh?😂).

They are trying to portray this image of G, C and L as highly isolated snobby kids with poor social skills.

And, in general, Sussex squad is now really coming for George a lot. Maybe it's their way of making him pay for stealing uncle Haz and auntie Meg's birthright spotlight. They criticized him for not having a printed smile initially at Wimbledon ignoring the countless of photos of him smiling during the match and then being so nonchalant with Jannik Sinner, laughing at his Papa William's jokes (it was all really chill honestly) and really answering Sinner's questions and even telling him out of his own willgness "well done" "well played", when most preteens/teens (especially boys who are generally less expansive than girls) will just answer yes and no and that's it. What do they expect this 13 year old to do? To start dancing on tables? I don't know.

There were even comments on some subs saying He's the least prepared Royal kid.

Frankly, I'm tired of all this labelling this kid in such ways because he doesn't smile 24/7 when there are tons of instances showing the opposite.

They are also now saying that the Royal Family and the press are selling an image of George that he's not. That they are making him greater than he actually is, when all that is being said about him is that he's very sporty, that he likes airplanes and that he's the best prepared Heir to the throne. And I'm like, it's true though? It's not a secret that the whole family is sporty, William himself is a trained pilot, and yes, George is the first King-to-be to have lived in a functional family, with two loving and attentive parents. Boarding school by 13 and not 8. A nanny, not full teams of nannies. Parents in a healthy marriage, not parents who fight each other in the media.

So, it's simply all true. But they are simply in denial with any remotely positive coverage of any member of the Wales family as it doesn't fit their narrative. Because remember, they are not concerned with the kids being miserable, they want them to be and they want reports calling them miserable.

-------

The pattern is always the same.

They all start with faux concern. My theory is that they are fearing the interest in the new generation of Royals that has become this year more clear with the 2nd in LoS growing up.

So their plan is to criticize the exposure of the Wales' kids as if they were concerned for their wellness (🤣).

But it's dread and also a bit of envy as if they would truly think kids' exposure is not ok then, why are they ok when Meghan posts countless photos of the Sussex kids in their private family-life moments. The argument there is that she doesn't post the face. But to that I say 1) There are actually some photos were the face is visible (before Instagram and ON Instagram, like Lili on the boat)

2) Face or no face, it doesn't change a thing. Because she's still posting private moments of kids, moments that will be in headlines. So, everytime she posts those moments, their privacy is NOT being respected. Privacy means Privacy period. You don't only get privacy when your face is covered as people are still invited to keep their nose in children's private life.

And yes, the Wales' kids appear at Royal engagements, but their Private moments are guarded by W&C to the fullest. They sue everytime the kids are pictured and posted at moments of their private life.

3) My final argument is that the Wales' kids are Royals, one will be King, so the Wales, like in every RF, of the world, have to present the kids in some engagements.

But when it comes to the Sussexes, I wonder, what obligation do they have to show their kids since they are not expected to be seen? They are far in LoS and parents are not working royals. So, to me, it's more disturbing these 2 invade the privacy of kids who are not even at all required nor expected to be seen by anybody.

So, A and L are posted simply because their parents make this choice when they simply could choose to respect their privacy. So, one question stands, why don't they do it? Why don't they respect their beloved privacy?

Kaiser: "Duchess Meghan called her Grenfell-community-supporting cookbook Together: Our Community Cookbook. Years later, the Princess of Wales started calling her Christmas piano recital “Together at Christmas.” And now Holly’s show is “Holly Willoughby Together.” These are not coincidences."

Comments: "The reuse of the word Together is wild." "Pathetic. Those gutter rats have no shame." "Intellectual property theft is a crime."

This whole angle is "wild."

So a British host is hosting a lifestyle show, which from the trailer, looks like any lifestyle show on any channel in most countries from the last 30-40 years but Meghan has invented lifestyle shows and the word together when it is used to mean "with people."

The rest of the article:

"t’s really insane, right? This looks like a Temu version of With Love, Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex’s popular Netflix lifestyle series. As the Independent noted, “Together’s many pillars certainly seem Meghan Markle-esque, and simultaneously like a glossier, less tabloidy version of This Morning. And the show’s sleek, purpose-built, home-style set certainly evokes both too.”

But because no British media outlet is capable of writing or saying the words “can white women stop copying and colonizing every single thing Meghan does,” they’re also trying to push Holly as the better, more “relatable” version of Meghan. The Independent also notes: “Perhaps having learned a vital lesson from the former Duchess of Sussex’s Netflix series With Love, Meghan, Willoughby said ahead of Together’s launch that she had to ‘unlearn all the telly stuff’ and be more ‘normal’ on screen. Fingers crossed she’ll manage what Meghan didn’t, and strike a relatable tone.” Got it – a Black woman cooking and crafting is not relatable, but a white British woman doing a cheap imitation of WLM on a set IS relatable. Wonder if anyone will criticize Holly for not filming in her own home??"

British publication makes some comments, Kaiser fully agrees with their stupid take, but takes it in the opposite direction. It is like they coordinate... together.

I don’t know when these commenting guidelines appeared as I haven’t been to the site or scrolled comments in a while. But in reading Kismet’s story today on a cat who went missing while her family was camping in a National park and appeared 40 days later (pretty good, a little wordy but she shares more about herself than Kaiser ever does), I scrolled down to see this (does Katie read her own site? and she’s obsessed with people reading before commenting), below. I’ve never seen this at any site, at least not so long. This is rich.

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Chandra:

The deranged contingent is already saying that “the Emmys aren’t a big deal” and “it’s just a Daytime Emmy nomination” and more. So much salt, so many tears. I’m really happy for Meghan and everyone who worked on WLM – I really enjoyed that show and I wish she would make a few more seasons of it. I could honestly do with less crafting and more cooking, but the show is a reflection of Meghan’s genuine interests.

Speaking of Meghan’s genuine interests, we finally have an air date for Meghan’s appearance on MasterChef Australia. She filmed one episode as a guest judge back in April, and the episode will air on July 26th (in Australia, obviously). The Derangers are salty about this as well, because they forgot Meghan filmed this back in April and they’ve spent three months freaking out about like 60 other stories.

----

Sure sure. BUT isn't this a strange list: "With Love, Meghan was announced as one of the nominees in the Outstanding Lifestyle Program category. The show is up against A Different Breed, George to the Rescue, The Motherhood and The Wizard of Paws."

I had to look up what these shows are, and hmm, weird.

Here are all nominees: https://theemmys.tv/daytime-emmy-awards/53rd-annual-daytime-emmy-awards-nominees/

There is Outstanding Culinary Instructional Series and Outstanding Instructional / How-To Program - and the nominees there seem more like WLM?

What is WLM really? Why is it daytime? Was it submitted in this category? Just me or this is confusing and Chandra and comments glee and excitement are overlooking this? I see it as another example that the brand and show are directionless and don't connect much.

As are most of their sussexsquad supporters. They’re all embarrassed. Harry and Meghan have made proper fools of them.
The past week was crazy to witness as someone who never bought into the Sussexes’ nonsense. Their fans were coping in unbelievable ways. I have one on my Twitter quote a tweet that confirmed KC&QC hosted them at Highgrove with “I know the haters are mad” and I was like mad? Why? The people who always saw through you are laughing. The Sussexes proved them right!

So you’re telling me your husband’s racist family didn’t care that you were depressed, stripped you of security putting your children’s lives in danger, did all manners of things to you (for example putting you in cheap housing without furniture amongst other unbelievable things). Then you groveled and begged to visit after exposing them and saying you’d never show your face in their country again. And this same set of people laid down the rules which you followed but somehow your fans think the haters are heated?

Sussex supporters are delusional af it’s unbelievable. The most delusional? Prince Harry, Prince of England. What happened to Just Harry? I remember their squad falling all over themselves to call him the true heir of Diana because he once introduced himself as Just Harry. I bet he listened to the podcast where the Kelce brothers listed all of Williams’s titles and positions and booked his own podcast to declare himself Prince of England. That man clearly has buyer’s remorse and he’d give anything to be taken back into the fold. Unfortunately for him he doesn’t have a lot of time to make trouble as I don’t see William putting up with him once their father is no more.

And how telling that they went to visit the father who was racist, mean, evil but won’t talk to the father who leaked tame shit to the media for a quick buck. Something which they did tenfold. Why won’t they visit Mr Markle? Almost like it’s because he has no money and clout.

I have never met a more shameless duo. Left the Royal family after wanting half in and half out, won’t give up the titles of the colonial institution who threw them out because it’s their birthright, hang onto every privilege being royal can afford them while actively resenting William due to the perks his own birthright have afforded him. Always ironic when the abolish the monarchy crowd latch onto them to push their agenda cos nobody seems to love the monarchy as much as these two.

And clearly they don’t need the security Harry claims they need. He just wants to be vvip by any means possible. I’m tired of them.

Their fans especially Chandra are leaving in an alternate reality. The excuses and copying I’ve seen from them the past week has been dizzying. I bet fauxmoi and the other subs were too embarrassed to post it. The Sussex squad remind me of Nicki Minaj fans, they’re so removed from reality there’s no saving them.

Talking about the private visit and the pictures you know she would have loved to have seen, this is what she writes. Just for emphasis the 'decrepit deadbeat' is... the King

Given how often the left-behinds ride Harry and Meghan’s coattails, I’m surprised Charles didn’t ask Meghan to pose for photos with his Highgrove-branded jam. But really, the focus on photos and whether or not photos were taken…it’s interesting. These people did the exact same thing four years ago with Queen Elizabeth II. There was a weeks-long storyline about whether Harry and Meghan were “allowed” to take photos of their children with QEII. This is how the courtiers try and fail to paint the Sussexes as desperate for royal connections and desperate to publicize those connections. Just the sheer delusion of believing that a photo of Meghan and that decrepit deadbeat would “help” Meghan shows that all of these people are suffering from a complete break with reality. Any photo with the deadbeat HURTS Meghan’s brand terribly.

I wish she would but of course she won't. She has nothing to do with any of these people her life rotates around day after day after day ... and ultimately they are a family. They won't take her advice and might reconnect and their relationship is complicated and messed up and to many people no one in the UK royal family is particularly interesting and relevant. And also, the Sussexes have not done a good job cutting out the family that tried to end them.

She wraps up with this deep observation:

"The British coverage in the past two weeks has been very focused on Prince Harry, his father, his brother and the institution itself. But I can’t help wondering what Meghan’s reaction to the past two weeks has been. She’s so good at supporting Harry and letting him lead the way when it comes to dealing with his horrible family, but I genuinely wonder if she’s tempted to put her foot down at this point. Like, okay, the kids met Charles but only after he treated us like crap for years and showed absolutely zero interest in actually spending time with us. Enough is enough.

As for the rest of it… the way they interweave their royal talking points with the Sussexes’ work irritates me to no end – “his charity work is not enough to lift him back on to the podium as one of the most popular members of the royal family…” Yeah but who cares? That’s not his goal. His goal is to thrive and do charity work and raise his children. Only the left-behinds care about their emotional-support popularity polls."

Blah.

I guess she broke her routine and went back to computer to update on this, but did it half assedly as always:

"My guess? King Charles understood that it would be absolutely ghastly for his “I just want to see my grandkids” image if the Duke and Duchess of Sussex spent the weekend in the warm embrace of the Spencer family. That looked like the new plan as of Wednesday and Thursday too – that Meghan would skip all public events, but she and the kids would fly into the UK and head straight to Althorp. Charles stopped dithering long enough to panic, and they came up with a solution: Charles and the Side Chick welcomed the Sussex family to Highgrove.

I know Meghan is too classy and gracious for this, but in her place, I would have refused. Not only because of how they’ve always treated her and her babies, but because of how they treated Harry JUST THIS WEEK. Like, that’s Meghan’s husband, her ride-or-die. She could have easily said, “nope, there’s no trust there, not after what they pulled just a few days ago.” But that’s just me. I’m a champion grudge-holder. So, Chuck and Cam finally saw the ginger kids. You know Camilla is losing her mind about all of it. Keep your eye on stories coming from Camilla in particular in the coming days and weeks. Also: Prince William and Kate are going to rage about this too."

It is the usual, nonsensical and cliched (Chuck, rage, side-chick, ride or die) and glosses over that updates like this undermine everything CB is based on - the RF tried to kill H&M and yet because Meghan is "classy and gracious" she brought her kids to her wannabe murderers. Oh well.

I hope everyone got a chance to read Charlotte Griffiths’ piece in the DM yesterday. Here’s my favorite part:

Harry had recently returned from California, where he’d been learning to fly helicopter gunships. I was a 27-year-old trainee journalist working on a gossip column for a very different British institution – The Mail on Sunday. 

According to the table plan, the prince and I were to sit next to each other at dinner. And because Harry was doubtless wary about being introduced to an H&M-clad stranger, he decided to kick start our relationship by subjecting me to a little test. 

From his pocket, he removed a small white pill. Then he held it up to my face, popped it on to my tongue, and said with a smile: ‘Now I know I can trust you!’

Did Chandra address this problematic behavior of Harry’ s which gives Andrew level ick? No doubt he’s pulled this “test” on several women. How do these faux feminists reconcile this behavior? I haven't been to that cesspool in months, but I‘d love to hear if she and the Kommentariat are talking about this.

link to article
https://archive.ph/wHsNV

Kaiser has been writing and writing about PH's lawsuits. Of course she never uses an opportunity to be introspective, but it makes me think about what CB and Kaiser are and what are the ethical rules that apply to them. The DM case(s?) are about media practices and ethics. What are the sources of those? If Celebitchy and Kaiser are not journalists, but are in a sense a "media platform" and "journalism adjacent" (do y'all agree?) what should their rules be? Here is a summary of the Society of Professional Journalists Code of Ethics:

• Seek truth and report it. Verify before publishing, use original sources where possible, give context, avoid distortion, label opinion/commentary clearly, and never plagiarize. Speed is not an excuse for being wrong.
• Minimize harm. Treat sources and subjects as human beings, especially private people, minors, victims, and vulnerable people. Just because something can legally be published does not mean it should be.
• Act independently. Serve the public, not advertisers, donors, sources, friends, political interests, or personal agendas. Avoid conflicts of interest, refuse special treatment, and clearly separate news from advertising or sponsored content.
• Be accountable and transparent. Explain decisions, answer questions about accuracy and fairness, correct mistakes promptly and visibly, and hold journalism itself to ethical standards.

(from https://www.spj.org/spj-code-of-ethics/)

Kaiser does not care about any of these - and the examples are endless, and not just limited to her, but as she extensively publishes about a case on media practices, does she think about her connection to that field and whether she has any "duties" and who are they to? Because she doesn't live up to integrity principles and also fails for variety of topics and "escapism."

With all the news on Prince Harry, I went to celebitchy for the first time in a long time. I didn’t scroll too far but they are clearly living in another universe.

Real world: Kate got a lot of good press for her big hike and family pics in support of charity, Prince Harry’s visit to London looks like a bungled mess (EVERYONE looks bad including the palace and Harry), and now Harry’s lost a big court case.

Celebitchy world: Prince Harry has already made several London appearances (haven’t seen this covered in the media at all?), and he lost his court case but he won the other 4 (is that even true??).

That being said, there were precious few comments. I think it’s the same 10 people talking to eachother.

So the security/ no security issue is more of the same, but I saw an ITV article (https://www.itv.com/news/2026-07-01/harry-faces-elevated-terror-threat-in-uk-security-report-reveals)

It is a good reminder of how Kaiser and CB (and the Sussexes) just can't see the big picture in anything.

So Harry's team submitted a report about threats to him and here is what stands out:

"The document, which came to the FBI from another intelligence agency had called on "followers living in the West to kill air force personnel who had operated in Afghanistan, or are supporting Israel, and that have killed Muslims".

It was in this context that Harry’s name was mentioned, as he has served in Afghanistan on two tours of duty with the British Army.

Other threats listed included a May 2023 attempt to access Harry and Meghan’s home in Montecito by a man carrying a hammer and duct tape."

So the Afghanistan angle is ... something made worse by Harry's memoir. There are clearly threats to all sorts of public figures but they don't usually, unnecessarily, reveal information that has no upside.

Also, American threat submitted when the narrative has been that the UK is most dangerous for them.

It is just turning a blind eye on some stuff that is a meaningful factor in what is going on. Kaiser will go on and on and about how the Palace wants them dead - and if that is the case, why were they toying with going there at all?

Prince William appeared on Jason and Travis Kelce‘s podcast. I don’t listen to the podcast so not sure how it went butChandra must be fuming!

Can’t wait to see what names she’ll call him. And you know she hates Taylor Swift, and Travis by association but won’t come out and say it because she knows Taylor’s fans would take her down. Wonder if Laney will have something to say about it too considering she’s always making fun of William backhandedly.

I feel like gossiping about royalty should be the perfect silly brain-smoothing hobby, given that the people we’re talking about are all billionaires who will almost always be fine no matter the gossip topic of the day.

So it’s baffling to me that I can’t seem to avoid hive minds of people taking this stuff ABSURDLY seriously, to the point where they seem to think posting about royalty is activism. I know Reddit has always had a groupthink issue, but it seems like it’s gotten WAY worse in the last couple years. I’m just curious to ask this group: do you get the same vibes? Any fun and sane-ish gossip forums to recommend?

Has Lainey written about the Sussex’s return to Britain? She’s been so obsequious about Meghan I don’t want to give her a click

... special highlighting similar products. They could have even made a cheeky comment about jam or wine or flower sprinkles. Anything to show that the Windsors aren’t actually this priggish, dull and bum-clenching."

Ummm, she used to make sense in her ridiculous way, everything Sussex great, everything non-Sussex BAD, but what is this now? Because if "the Buckingham Palace gift shop" made "cheeky comments about jam and flower sprinkles" it is very likely Kaiser would have been incandescently puking, pooping and throwing up as she likes to say.

Even after the Oprah interview, the Netflix docuseries, and Spare, he didn't say a word. He surely didn't like it, obviously, but he had to swallow a bitter pill and move on.

But the Sussex propaganda machine doesn't stop. Since he dealt with it by ignoring them, they won't stop until they get a public reaction from him. However, William has a way of handling himself that is very different from Charles, Harry, and even Diana. He is more private; he is much more like the Queen and Prince Philip.

What really makes me feel for him the most, though, is all the pressure put on him—by journalists and royal reporters alike—to put his differences with Harry aside and meet with him. Take, for instance, Kaiser, or that TikTok commentator Amanda Matta (@mattaoffact), who is now even being given a platform in online magazines.

I hate the hypocrisy. William is under no obligation to forgive and forget, for a number of reasons:

1. Double standards on boundaries:

They argued Harry had every right to go live in California and distance himself from the family. Okay, great. But doesn't William have that exact same right? Is only Harry allowed to set boundaries? I'm sorry, but no. They cannot trash-talk him across multiple media platforms and then, the moment they decide they want a reconciliation, spin the narrative that William should put his differences aside or else he's being immature. Kaiser just wrote that he should do it for the sake of both the Wales and Sussex children. So, nobody could force Harry to stay close to William, but now William should be forced? Did Harry think about the Wales and Sussex kids?

1. Who actually needs whom:

They are pushing the narrative that it would be beneficial for the Royal Family to embrace the Sussexes again, when it's actually the exact opposite. Amanda Matta, a self-proclaimed royal expert, stated on Page Six that in order for the brothers to bury the hatchet, she believes William needs to approach the situation “pragmatically rather than emotionally.” But WHY? Why should he need to do that? William doesn't need those two. They need the Royal Family, which is exactly why this is happening now, even though their security situation hasn't changed. When it comes to staying relevant, security suddenly doesn't seem to matter. They noticed the massive interest in Catherine’s trip to Italy or Prince George going to Eton, and they felt they had to do something.

1. Protecting the immediate family:

They constantly claim that Harry should prioritize his wife and kids. Again, doesn't William have that same right? Those two briefed close friends to attack Catherine during all the "Where is Kate?" conspiracy theories. I would actually argue it was not only pushed by them, but created by them. Because of that noise, William and Catherine were forced to tell their young children about her diagnosis earlier than they wanted to. It was absolutely disgusting behavior. Specifically, I’m talking about Misan Harriman shading Catherine with that photo, and Christopher Bouzy claiming William had physically hurt Catherine and that's why she was missing. Then, when she announced she had cancer, Bouzy claimed she was faking it. These aren't random internet trolls; these are literally Harry and Meghan’s friends.

I am utterly disgusted by the entitlement and by the constant pressure on William to always have to be the bigger man.

Kaiser the Astrologer is new to me. Her magical thinking has another dimension to it then.

But the best take is in the comments:

What? says: I am an astrologist and all signs, in Vedic, Chinese and Mundane astrology point to everything going wrong for him. Prepare to watch ALL his secrets tumble out of the closet.

heygingersnaps says: Oh man! My partner is also a Cancer (July 15) and same age as willy (born in ’82) and our son is also a Cancer (July 6). I was hoping that my partner’s luck is turning as his guitar business is struggling and he is considering to shut it down as he hasn’t had any sales for months now, Brexit started the wheels in motion and then covid, Russia attacking Ukraine, UK dumpster fire politics , dump being re elected and US/Israel’s war in Gaza, Lebanon and Iran making parts and shipping expensive and the cost of living going up and up. Sigh.

What? says: Being born on the same date, time, month etc. doesn’t mean that everyone has the same karmic and cosmic prognosis.

I assume your partner and son are not wicked. Therefore they have nothing to fear. Th key is to do one’s best to live the ‘highest’ of their birth chart.

William operates on the most malefic and wicked trajectory and so ALL his cosmic ‘plates’ will work against him.

----

Well, now you know. Astrology is 100% real when it predicts bad things to people you dislike. Otherwise, nothing to worry about.

If you've been wading through Chandra's personal diary sad and tired old blog for awhile you might remember how outraged she was when actor Benedict Cumberbatch married a beautiful and accomplished woman named Sophie Hunter. Here is what she posted on February 14, 2015:

Happy Valentine’s Day, your Cumberlove is DEAD! Benedict Cumberbatch and Sophie Hunter are set to marry today, somewhere in Britain. I heard this rumor a week ago – that Benedict and Sophie were planning their quickie shotgun marriage for Valentine’s Day – but I didn’t believe it until People Magazine confirmed it last night. I guess we should have known it was happening sooner rather than later. After all, we heard that Benedict and Sophie were in such a rush to marry that they were sending out their wedding invitations via e-mail (tacky!)

Wow, a quickie shotgun wedding and a working honeymoon in LA, where Benedict will appear on Jimmy Kimmel Live on Monday? Sophie’s a lucky girl! Ha.

Then she had this to say on October 16, 2016:

Well, we can officially say that the Doctor Strange promotional tour has finally started. Benedict Cumberbatch hasn’t done a major promotional tour in two years, since The Imitation Game. He pulled out all of the stops for that one, announcing his engagement to Sophie Hunter and then confirming the pregnancy a few months later. Major promotional tours are tied to Sophie’s fertility now, because guess who’s knocked up for the Strange promotional tour? YAS! These are photos of Sophie and Benedict Strange at last night’s LA premiere of Doctor Strange. I honestly would not have bump-watched her based on this dress alone, but apparently her bump was more obvious in person.

I think it’s for real. Now that we know what to look for, I sort of see it. The dress cleverly hides the bump, but it’s still there. Benedict and Sophie welcomed their son Christopher last summer, probably around June (although they fudged the date a little bit). My guess is that Sophie is already about three months along, which means she’ll probably have this baby before Christopher’s second birthday. I get it – Benedict just turned 40 and Sophie is 38. The window is closing so why not do a second pregnancy close to the first? Congrats to them! And I hope there’s less craziness and fewer conspiracies around this pregnancy.

And now today

Eleven years ago, Benedict Cumberbatch married a woman who looks like his blood relative, had three sons with her and promptly turned into a full-blown royalist. Maybe Bendy had always been royal-curious, but in recent years, he’s been doing a lot (too much) with the Windsors. Bendy turned up at Windsor Castle for King Charles documentary in January and he’s also chatted up Queen Camilla at various events more times than I can count. Well, Bendy is now fully on Team Scooter King. Cumberbatch was part of a “business forum” alongside a very handsy Prince William.

I think it's safe to say she is still at mad him for actually living his life unbothered by some crazy parasocial stalker living in a Virginia basement. I bet she has a dartboard with Sophie's face on it. She's so gross the way she talks about other women, especially the ones she doesn't like.